At this once again.
Everything I see, smell, hear, touch, or anything reminds me of him. God, it is so hard from not bothering him and calling him. I just want to hear his voice. It is like my heart is basically beating out of habit. Everytime someone closes the door to my building I think it is him coming back home to me, everytime I am done with work I look to see if he is waiting at the corner for me, everytime I wake up I think if I pull the curtain he will be there smiling at me, everytime I come back from work I think I will open the door and he will be playing WOW, and everytime my phone rings I know it isn't hurt and it hurts so much. Besides my family, he is all I need and he is all I want. I never wanted to take the huge step of telling anyone I was inlove with them nor wanting to tell them I wanted to marry them and have a family but I want to do those things with him and no one else. I hope one day things will be the best for us. I love you, Rod.