very, very tired.... (my intro day at History)
Hello all. I had decided that I shouldn't write in here now (although I really wanted to), because I am too tired to do so.
I wanted of course to write about Bulgaria and Sevi, about the trip, show pictures etc. I made a few notes on what to write, but didn't bring it, and I simply am so tired to write about such complicated memories. I wanted to update sooner, but about August 22nd, the university decided to block all computer rooms, until August 31st, so this is my first time on the internet since then. I really want to write about BG, but it has to wait until next time. Now I am busted.
Today was a special/nervous day. I was to start my new side subject at the university - History (my new minor), after 4 years of Philosophy (my major). I tried to start last year, but didn't properly register, because I wanted to finish my BA first, I didn't get to do that, and dissapeared from the few History classes I at times attended. As embarassing as it sounds, 12 months later, I still haven't finished my BA assignment, I'm just that lazy/stupid/nervous. But still I registered for History, and said I would deliver my BA in August and get Philosophy to give me acceptance of the dely, so I could chance. HOWEVER!: I haven't done either (not delivered the BA, and therefore not acquired an excuse from Philosophy for delivering it now). Still I got a letter from History, that awaited me, when I returned from Bulgaria, and although I expected problems, I was in, with no remarks (I do however fear, that sometime the administration will discover this, and I will be stopped).
There was a trip, but when I came home from BG and read the letter, it was too late to pay for to participate in the trip for new students. I then decided, that I HAD to participate in the introduction the 31st of August. I had to be there at 10 am. I got to bed at 3 am, was disturbed by a mosquito for a while, had to go to the toilet all the time, and generally just couldn't sleep. I had slept less than two hours when I had to get up at 8:10, and I just wanted to sleep more. I forced myself up, but still seriously considering actually staying at home. After preparing myself, I laid down again, wanting to forget it all. But in the end I got up and went, and was there not as early as I wanted, but still shortly before 10 am.
The first was the most embarassing. Appearently we had to sit in the six groups we were put in, and I didn't know that, or anyone from my group, so someone asked me to move. I was so embarassed. I then sat next to a blonde blue-eyed girl, who seemed so nervous about everything. Who didn't speak and tried to be as quiet as possible. Other people, including her hadn't been at the trip for new students either. She was incredibly beautiful, and I couldn't help thinking how I could get to talk with her, and get to know her. We didn't talk one word however at all. But once after a break, where she had been out, and had to get back to her seat, and I had to stand up, to let her get to it, I must have visibly smiled at her, because she smiled back at me. But of course nothing's ever gonna happen further! I found out her name was Bettina. Two of our tutors had started last year, same as I had tried being at some classes, and I recognised one of them (and he aperantly me. This didn't mean much, but it mean, that I could participate in some talks with them, and not be a big loser, just sitting, not talking with anyone. They were both younger than me. There are two others in our group, that also was taking History as their minor, but the rest had just started at the university, and as the two others who had it as minor wasn't present, then I was by far the eldest (I think). Knowing me, it's a fucking scary thought to be the eldest! However I saw 3 from my year in philosophy in other groups, and I know two of them are older than me, so at least I'm not the oldest of the 109 (I think?) starting students. We were on those embarassing walks around the university, where we had to perform tasks, once I was in a discussion with talkative but rather strange and occasionally insulting 20 year old guy, who was half scottish. Suddenly after the talks, I realised, I had said some dumb things about me and my studies, you know, the kind of things, that are meant as funny jokes/pranks, etc. And it was good, except that Bettina had been sitting right next to us, not doing anything, she obviously would have heard. And then I did (in my head) the obligatory: "Why did I say that, oh now I've ruined my only chance, she would never like me after saying such stupid/silly things"... With me and that weird scottish guy, was also a 19 year old girl (whose name might have been Anette?), who reminds me of Michelle (see December 17th 2005 update). the scottish guy was extremely dominating in a conversation, and poor withdrawn me, hardly dared to speak, when I was in conversation with her and him. It seemed, he liked her, and she liked him. But when we sat a few people left, after most (including Bettina) had gone, Anette(?) seemed to direct her talks mainly at me, so I wondered. The three of us walked out, scottish guy on bus, Anette(?) on bicycle and moi on feet. I waited to see, if she would want to talk more, without this guy (so, just the two of us), but she said bye and bicycled. That was 17:00. Then I went back to the university to check the internet, especially regarding the History studies, where I have my first class tomorrow. All 109 students are to have this class, so probably no contact with Bettina or Anette(?) (The reason I am unsure of her name, is because she said "Anette" or "Annette", pronounced identically. But looking at our list, there's none of that name, so maybe I remember wrongly).
This update seems super strange, and super unusual in my writing style. It's due to being extremely tired. It seems more like the opening plot of a love movie. So, to be continued... but hopefully first I'll get an update or two about BG/Sevi and pics.
I wanted of course to write about Bulgaria and Sevi, about the trip, show pictures etc. I made a few notes on what to write, but didn't bring it, and I simply am so tired to write about such complicated memories. I wanted to update sooner, but about August 22nd, the university decided to block all computer rooms, until August 31st, so this is my first time on the internet since then. I really want to write about BG, but it has to wait until next time. Now I am busted.
Today was a special/nervous day. I was to start my new side subject at the university - History (my new minor), after 4 years of Philosophy (my major). I tried to start last year, but didn't properly register, because I wanted to finish my BA first, I didn't get to do that, and dissapeared from the few History classes I at times attended. As embarassing as it sounds, 12 months later, I still haven't finished my BA assignment, I'm just that lazy/stupid/nervous. But still I registered for History, and said I would deliver my BA in August and get Philosophy to give me acceptance of the dely, so I could chance. HOWEVER!: I haven't done either (not delivered the BA, and therefore not acquired an excuse from Philosophy for delivering it now). Still I got a letter from History, that awaited me, when I returned from Bulgaria, and although I expected problems, I was in, with no remarks (I do however fear, that sometime the administration will discover this, and I will be stopped).
There was a trip, but when I came home from BG and read the letter, it was too late to pay for to participate in the trip for new students. I then decided, that I HAD to participate in the introduction the 31st of August. I had to be there at 10 am. I got to bed at 3 am, was disturbed by a mosquito for a while, had to go to the toilet all the time, and generally just couldn't sleep. I had slept less than two hours when I had to get up at 8:10, and I just wanted to sleep more. I forced myself up, but still seriously considering actually staying at home. After preparing myself, I laid down again, wanting to forget it all. But in the end I got up and went, and was there not as early as I wanted, but still shortly before 10 am.
The first was the most embarassing. Appearently we had to sit in the six groups we were put in, and I didn't know that, or anyone from my group, so someone asked me to move. I was so embarassed. I then sat next to a blonde blue-eyed girl, who seemed so nervous about everything. Who didn't speak and tried to be as quiet as possible. Other people, including her hadn't been at the trip for new students either. She was incredibly beautiful, and I couldn't help thinking how I could get to talk with her, and get to know her. We didn't talk one word however at all. But once after a break, where she had been out, and had to get back to her seat, and I had to stand up, to let her get to it, I must have visibly smiled at her, because she smiled back at me. But of course nothing's ever gonna happen further! I found out her name was Bettina. Two of our tutors had started last year, same as I had tried being at some classes, and I recognised one of them (and he aperantly me. This didn't mean much, but it mean, that I could participate in some talks with them, and not be a big loser, just sitting, not talking with anyone. They were both younger than me. There are two others in our group, that also was taking History as their minor, but the rest had just started at the university, and as the two others who had it as minor wasn't present, then I was by far the eldest (I think). Knowing me, it's a fucking scary thought to be the eldest! However I saw 3 from my year in philosophy in other groups, and I know two of them are older than me, so at least I'm not the oldest of the 109 (I think?) starting students. We were on those embarassing walks around the university, where we had to perform tasks, once I was in a discussion with talkative but rather strange and occasionally insulting 20 year old guy, who was half scottish. Suddenly after the talks, I realised, I had said some dumb things about me and my studies, you know, the kind of things, that are meant as funny jokes/pranks, etc. And it was good, except that Bettina had been sitting right next to us, not doing anything, she obviously would have heard. And then I did (in my head) the obligatory: "Why did I say that, oh now I've ruined my only chance, she would never like me after saying such stupid/silly things"... With me and that weird scottish guy, was also a 19 year old girl (whose name might have been Anette?), who reminds me of Michelle (see December 17th 2005 update). the scottish guy was extremely dominating in a conversation, and poor withdrawn me, hardly dared to speak, when I was in conversation with her and him. It seemed, he liked her, and she liked him. But when we sat a few people left, after most (including Bettina) had gone, Anette(?) seemed to direct her talks mainly at me, so I wondered. The three of us walked out, scottish guy on bus, Anette(?) on bicycle and moi on feet. I waited to see, if she would want to talk more, without this guy (so, just the two of us), but she said bye and bicycled. That was 17:00. Then I went back to the university to check the internet, especially regarding the History studies, where I have my first class tomorrow. All 109 students are to have this class, so probably no contact with Bettina or Anette(?) (The reason I am unsure of her name, is because she said "Anette" or "Annette", pronounced identically. But looking at our list, there's none of that name, so maybe I remember wrongly).
This update seems super strange, and super unusual in my writing style. It's due to being extremely tired. It seems more like the opening plot of a love movie. So, to be continued... but hopefully first I'll get an update or two about BG/Sevi and pics.