Congress & lack of love
One of the really sad things in the Sovjet, was that many in the people, the poor peasants really gave all they had, all their labour for a cause they believed in, for the communistic proletarian cause. And all their efforts and money? They ended being the benefit of the rich and powerful leaders at the top of the party.
That's a bit how I felt during the organic/ecological congress I told about earlier. I gave so much for the Green Party, efforts, sweat, money, lots of the time I should have used on my assignment. I handled all the practical details. And when the congress began, then some of the leaders of the Green Party came to help out at the congress, but they started of getting money, due to transportation, and the money they wanted was far more than the cost. And what about what all I gave to this? Tons of work, and for what use. I even started to doubt, that I was supporting a party I could support. One in particular dissapointed me. His name was Henning, and about twice my age (which made him the second youngest Green Party person present, the youngest being of course yours truly). He had helped with the set up the day before. Putting up posters, buying that sheet-like thing that is put over tables, like a cloth, candles, lots of things. He was such a voodoo person. Talking about that evil spirits gave him allergies, that food shouldn't just be organic, but he picked his vegetables only at a certain time of day (at full moon or something), which I think has nothing to do with organic. I think it has to do, about the food being as ´pure as back in the early days. I don't believe that Neanderthals only ate at full moon, they ate when they were hungry. Also I'm greatly annoyed by people who constantly talk about tolerance, and how their opponents show no tolenrance, when they themselves have absolutely no tolerance either. Hypocrites. Now enough bitching. It did go a little bit better during the congress, during the second day, there came a girl (yes, she was WOW WOW attractive), and who was from the (my) city. So I talked with her a little, even though it was hard, with the green bosses interferring all the time. But she sounded like a wonderful person. Later I saw her walking with the cleaning guy, I wonder if they were together, even though I saw no loving contact between them. The cleaning guy was actually funny. He looked exactly like a male supermodel, a guy just like the ones I see most females on my friends list post pictures of. So, he had the looks most women would drool for, but once when I entered the male's toilet, I saw him not only cleaning a toilet, but really with his hand down one of the toilets (fishing for something?). It was so odd, when he looked like those who have everything. I guess it's so co-incidential who makes it big time, and who ends on the floor. We also meet a guy from the swedish Green Party and on the last day, a guy from the italian green party (Verdi) came by. He sat in the region council for Verdi in the italian region of Modena, and was so thrilled to see danish "comrades", so he got a picture of some of us standing next to him at our Green Party stand. I wanted to show you guys that picture, but the italian guy who took it and promised to send me it, hasn't done so... sorry! So, it was ok, I talked with a few people, but didn't get any woman to be interested in me, but we all know that beforehand *sigh*. There was the hot but young New Zealand girl, Penelope, and the italian Maria from Modena, and there was a danish Anne Mette, the latter I never got to talk with.
Speaking of love, then there's nothing to tell, actually, on the contrary, there is minus to tell. I was interested in a girl that took many of my classes at the university. Mette was her name, and I did end up getting to talk with her many times, but nothing more. In my work with the congress, I have had a bit of a vague contact with two female enviromentalists that both lives in my old home town of Århus. Nanna K. & Julie A. but I wrote them lastly shortly after the congress, defienetly more than a week ago, but I haven't heard from them since. I meet the often mentioned Linda H. at the university a week ago. She thinks that I have a huge crush on her, and it amuses me to no end, to let her stay in that belief, and then showing I have no interest. I think that's fair, after all, rarely have a woman been as mean to me, as she did, when I actually did have a crush on her. Unfortunally I do still fancy her a bit. And after all this I realised something. For the first time, I had nothing. I have always comforted myself, that I had another girl I knew, so that I could go for her, not that that I would ever get her to like me, but if I was sad about a rejection or abuse, I could throw my love on someone else, if only to forget the other. But now I have nothing, and know (more than ever) I need someone to shake away the last remains of Ambra. I checked my e-mail today in a small hope, but no writings, not from Julie, not from Nanna, not even from Ambra or Linda even though I wrote them (yeah, yeah, pathetic). However when I least expect it, there always often comes a mail that takes me by surprise. Sevi wrote, talking about the possibilities to spend some of this summer together, ah ha, we'll see.
I have some "fitness, being helthy, natural and obsessed with nature" things to tell, but they shall wait.
I am still angry on putting so much work into the organic/ecological congress, and getting so little back. Especially when I worked hard, and had a big assignment hanging over my head, neglecting it, to work on the congress. Today I send my text of all my expenses during the congress, and we'll see if I get some money back. I also wrote and send my "review" (as it was placed on me to write about the congress for the Green Party magazine thing).
Now I have to walk home at 1:50 am, and it's completely dark and scary. Feel sorry for me.... :P
That's a bit how I felt during the organic/ecological congress I told about earlier. I gave so much for the Green Party, efforts, sweat, money, lots of the time I should have used on my assignment. I handled all the practical details. And when the congress began, then some of the leaders of the Green Party came to help out at the congress, but they started of getting money, due to transportation, and the money they wanted was far more than the cost. And what about what all I gave to this? Tons of work, and for what use. I even started to doubt, that I was supporting a party I could support. One in particular dissapointed me. His name was Henning, and about twice my age (which made him the second youngest Green Party person present, the youngest being of course yours truly). He had helped with the set up the day before. Putting up posters, buying that sheet-like thing that is put over tables, like a cloth, candles, lots of things. He was such a voodoo person. Talking about that evil spirits gave him allergies, that food shouldn't just be organic, but he picked his vegetables only at a certain time of day (at full moon or something), which I think has nothing to do with organic. I think it has to do, about the food being as ´pure as back in the early days. I don't believe that Neanderthals only ate at full moon, they ate when they were hungry. Also I'm greatly annoyed by people who constantly talk about tolerance, and how their opponents show no tolenrance, when they themselves have absolutely no tolerance either. Hypocrites. Now enough bitching. It did go a little bit better during the congress, during the second day, there came a girl (yes, she was WOW WOW attractive), and who was from the (my) city. So I talked with her a little, even though it was hard, with the green bosses interferring all the time. But she sounded like a wonderful person. Later I saw her walking with the cleaning guy, I wonder if they were together, even though I saw no loving contact between them. The cleaning guy was actually funny. He looked exactly like a male supermodel, a guy just like the ones I see most females on my friends list post pictures of. So, he had the looks most women would drool for, but once when I entered the male's toilet, I saw him not only cleaning a toilet, but really with his hand down one of the toilets (fishing for something?). It was so odd, when he looked like those who have everything. I guess it's so co-incidential who makes it big time, and who ends on the floor. We also meet a guy from the swedish Green Party and on the last day, a guy from the italian green party (Verdi) came by. He sat in the region council for Verdi in the italian region of Modena, and was so thrilled to see danish "comrades", so he got a picture of some of us standing next to him at our Green Party stand. I wanted to show you guys that picture, but the italian guy who took it and promised to send me it, hasn't done so... sorry! So, it was ok, I talked with a few people, but didn't get any woman to be interested in me, but we all know that beforehand *sigh*. There was the hot but young New Zealand girl, Penelope, and the italian Maria from Modena, and there was a danish Anne Mette, the latter I never got to talk with.
Speaking of love, then there's nothing to tell, actually, on the contrary, there is minus to tell. I was interested in a girl that took many of my classes at the university. Mette was her name, and I did end up getting to talk with her many times, but nothing more. In my work with the congress, I have had a bit of a vague contact with two female enviromentalists that both lives in my old home town of Århus. Nanna K. & Julie A. but I wrote them lastly shortly after the congress, defienetly more than a week ago, but I haven't heard from them since. I meet the often mentioned Linda H. at the university a week ago. She thinks that I have a huge crush on her, and it amuses me to no end, to let her stay in that belief, and then showing I have no interest. I think that's fair, after all, rarely have a woman been as mean to me, as she did, when I actually did have a crush on her. Unfortunally I do still fancy her a bit. And after all this I realised something. For the first time, I had nothing. I have always comforted myself, that I had another girl I knew, so that I could go for her, not that that I would ever get her to like me, but if I was sad about a rejection or abuse, I could throw my love on someone else, if only to forget the other. But now I have nothing, and know (more than ever) I need someone to shake away the last remains of Ambra. I checked my e-mail today in a small hope, but no writings, not from Julie, not from Nanna, not even from Ambra or Linda even though I wrote them (yeah, yeah, pathetic). However when I least expect it, there always often comes a mail that takes me by surprise. Sevi wrote, talking about the possibilities to spend some of this summer together, ah ha, we'll see.
I have some "fitness, being helthy, natural and obsessed with nature" things to tell, but they shall wait.
I am still angry on putting so much work into the organic/ecological congress, and getting so little back. Especially when I worked hard, and had a big assignment hanging over my head, neglecting it, to work on the congress. Today I send my text of all my expenses during the congress, and we'll see if I get some money back. I also wrote and send my "review" (as it was placed on me to write about the congress for the Green Party magazine thing).
Now I have to walk home at 1:50 am, and it's completely dark and scary. Feel sorry for me.... :P