5:52
I feel slightly broken. More like, I feel gross. Probably because I haven't slept properly.
I went to bed last night at 6am, falling asleep at around 730am just to wake up about a million times from 8am till 910am. Then I jumped up, dressed and biked to work in the freezing cold air ready to be late for opening the store. It was alright, it always is... i opened on time and had lots of time to do dick all but stare at old customers jabber on and on about their life and how enriched it isn't.
I got home -oo! Coast to Coast! - I got home at like 130? whatever, i felt fucking tired and collapsed on the couch. Before sleeping i had phoned Robyn. She woke me up twice to talk about getting together. I finally got up at 730. We went to demetres and i had cake and coffee. lots of coffee.
Now i feel like shit.
When i was asleep my parents were house shopping online. they've decided that Eglington is a nice street or area and will plan on living there. I have chosen to stay with my dad currently because he wants to live near the subway and so do i. also my mom will take the animals.
The more I write the less crazy i feel and the more relaxed i become... this is so therapudic. *pause* I feel so fucking bizzare about my life right now. This strike at york has me in a bit of an uneasy feeling.
Yinxia and Craig are going out again and I really feel detached. Mimi... I feel closer to her now, but she'll be with Dave more and more and I'm just gunna assume she'll spend her time with him. Cam... well, his word is never good, he says he wants to get together and we never do, when we do its not the same - hes always on the phone long distance with his girlfriend. The worst part is I'm happy for him and our relationship no longer concerns me. It SUCKS that I feel like there's a bit of a hole in me now though.
Teresa... I saw her the other day. it was good, but we cant seem to get rid of our old habits.
Katherine entered my life a bit recently. we talked for a few days every night in a row and it was half frightening and half enlightening. Overall I figure it was good, she says she's changed and I'm glad she feels like that and can recognize her faults from who I knew her to be in the past... but she still has regrets and is a little disconcerting in many respects. We talked about our past and cleared the air a lot, and now I feel a lot better - she revealed how vain she is and how detached from reality she was to the point where her demands and expectations were so unreal that i simply realized how much it didn't matter. I cannot provide as much as she wanted and its nice to know that.
Still. there's this weird soft spot I have for her... she is amazing in some ways.
Joel and Mike are as a cool as ever.
Tonight with Robyn we talked a bit about how surprised a guy like me went for a girl like Teresa, we're so different she expected me to go for someone more like Tiffany. Funny thing that. Now i can't help but think about Tiffany. I remember immediately liking her, she's definately physically attractive and has a personality that is so.... different and mysterious.. its driving me a little nuts. damn its late. i was going to make some kind of contact with Tiffany tonight when I got home, because I couldnt get her out of my mind, albeit I only really have vague memories of what she was like that one time i met her a year ago... ha. In anycase I see no need to do anything while I'm as tired as I am - I always make stupid decisions when I'm tired, or amazing ones. Seem to lose my inhibitions when I'm a little loopy from lack of sleep (why drink beer when you can just not go to sleep!).
fuckign s-dfja;fogn
I wish I didnt have bad dreams, or vivid dreams.
I wish I wasn't so upset about mom and dad. why can't it be alright like it was when I was little. Why can't life just be kind to me like it was when I was little. I miss kindergarten and grade 2 and biking around in the summer time. Going to Beckers and spending my $1.50 allowance on candies. Nerds. bubblicious. bubble tape. Going to the cottage and not knowing what to do with a long summers day. I wish i could be friends with my brothers and cousins all over again, and we could just play around in the sand in the water in the yard.
I went to bed last night at 6am, falling asleep at around 730am just to wake up about a million times from 8am till 910am. Then I jumped up, dressed and biked to work in the freezing cold air ready to be late for opening the store. It was alright, it always is... i opened on time and had lots of time to do dick all but stare at old customers jabber on and on about their life and how enriched it isn't.
I got home -oo! Coast to Coast! - I got home at like 130? whatever, i felt fucking tired and collapsed on the couch. Before sleeping i had phoned Robyn. She woke me up twice to talk about getting together. I finally got up at 730. We went to demetres and i had cake and coffee. lots of coffee.
Now i feel like shit.
When i was asleep my parents were house shopping online. they've decided that Eglington is a nice street or area and will plan on living there. I have chosen to stay with my dad currently because he wants to live near the subway and so do i. also my mom will take the animals.
The more I write the less crazy i feel and the more relaxed i become... this is so therapudic. *pause* I feel so fucking bizzare about my life right now. This strike at york has me in a bit of an uneasy feeling.
Yinxia and Craig are going out again and I really feel detached. Mimi... I feel closer to her now, but she'll be with Dave more and more and I'm just gunna assume she'll spend her time with him. Cam... well, his word is never good, he says he wants to get together and we never do, when we do its not the same - hes always on the phone long distance with his girlfriend. The worst part is I'm happy for him and our relationship no longer concerns me. It SUCKS that I feel like there's a bit of a hole in me now though.
Teresa... I saw her the other day. it was good, but we cant seem to get rid of our old habits.
Katherine entered my life a bit recently. we talked for a few days every night in a row and it was half frightening and half enlightening. Overall I figure it was good, she says she's changed and I'm glad she feels like that and can recognize her faults from who I knew her to be in the past... but she still has regrets and is a little disconcerting in many respects. We talked about our past and cleared the air a lot, and now I feel a lot better - she revealed how vain she is and how detached from reality she was to the point where her demands and expectations were so unreal that i simply realized how much it didn't matter. I cannot provide as much as she wanted and its nice to know that.
Still. there's this weird soft spot I have for her... she is amazing in some ways.
Joel and Mike are as a cool as ever.
Tonight with Robyn we talked a bit about how surprised a guy like me went for a girl like Teresa, we're so different she expected me to go for someone more like Tiffany. Funny thing that. Now i can't help but think about Tiffany. I remember immediately liking her, she's definately physically attractive and has a personality that is so.... different and mysterious.. its driving me a little nuts. damn its late. i was going to make some kind of contact with Tiffany tonight when I got home, because I couldnt get her out of my mind, albeit I only really have vague memories of what she was like that one time i met her a year ago... ha. In anycase I see no need to do anything while I'm as tired as I am - I always make stupid decisions when I'm tired, or amazing ones. Seem to lose my inhibitions when I'm a little loopy from lack of sleep (why drink beer when you can just not go to sleep!).
fuckign s-dfja;fogn
I wish I didnt have bad dreams, or vivid dreams.
I wish I wasn't so upset about mom and dad. why can't it be alright like it was when I was little. Why can't life just be kind to me like it was when I was little. I miss kindergarten and grade 2 and biking around in the summer time. Going to Beckers and spending my $1.50 allowance on candies. Nerds. bubblicious. bubble tape. Going to the cottage and not knowing what to do with a long summers day. I wish i could be friends with my brothers and cousins all over again, and we could just play around in the sand in the water in the yard.