if at first u dont suceed, U FAIL......
i have to say that ive had many weird nights and with all this craziness, i find myself empty. for years i try to find a girl that would want to be with me, and that would share common grounds. i thought i had one and it turned out that i lived in a world full of lies, not to mention her angry mother. but with that behind me i still looked forward in hopes of finding someone. although here lately most of my hopes have been crushed and ignited into flames, i think this is were my hope runs out. i know that they want to be friends and that ill never stop being friends with them, cause of what theyve done for me, but with the little shread of hope im running on, i need more than a friend. i hate bein the guy that stays home and counts the patterns on the wall, i want out! i want to be the guy that makes somethin of hiself, and not the guy who lives off others. but here lately i found out that what i want, and what i get, are two different things. i know i dont want to jepordize my friendship with her, but she should know that i wont stop being friends and if it dosent work out, at least i would know, but i will always be here friend and i will always be there (even if i have to walk her house at 3 in the morning) and i know vis versa for her. i just want to know if it could work out. and even if things turn sour, ill still be there when she needs me. im never really angry at someone for any reason because to be honest, i can never be mad at someone all the time. and who is to define what love truly is...if u say love is when u carry a special bond with someone, then i love my friends....if love is when ur there for someone even when they didnt ask u to be there....then i love my friends....if love is when u would go to great risks, taking bullets and stayin past kerfu just so u know there ok....then i love my friends. so who is to say what love is? i know i have a great friendship with her, and i know that i will always be there, i just want to know if there could be more, and if not, at least i would know and we could go back to friends. She says that if we try, then our friendship would never be the same. well, i will always love her as a friend, but still, that decision is up to her......for now, i will just shut up.