I'm sure it'll be infinitely more enjoyable to receive reminders from you than it was when my aunt did it.
I could bribe you with blowjobs. *perks up* A blowjob for each paragraph.
*sigh* So I feel the same way about your father but I dont go trying to kill him now, do I?
My father never hit me. By the way, he asked how you were doing in his last e-mail. I suspect he must have been really drunk, but still.
It was a joke love. I believe there is a higher power. I do not believe there are a bunch of old men running the gate to Heaven or whatever.
Oh, thank you. Can you imagine the guy's job? Having to listen to everybody's boring story as they prattle on about how they were really good, deep down, and the sheep fucking incident was just a drunken mistake? Poor guy would want to shoot himself.
I direct deposited the money into her account. It's not as if she had a choice in the matter. And besides, she did work she deserved to get paid for. There is nothing to argue about.
Your stubborness about money is legendary, love. *nods*
If you feel a need to yell, take a moment to collect yourself and then have a calm discourse. Of course, seeing as you were raised to do otherwise, it could be a hard thing to un-learn.
My house would have killed you. It was usually me yelling at my father for being a dick, my mother yelling at whatever pixies or angels she was hallucinating and my father screaming at both of us. Yeah. Hm, I need to get a birthday gift for my dad.
As to your pets, they're still kittens as they're all still young, but just LARGE kittens.
Are you saying they're fat? *laughs*
I know your current thoughts and feelings. I do not know your life history. Its not as if you sit thinking about everything you've done since you were born.
I didn't actually kiss that girl in kindergarden, I swear.
Yes well, the difference being, most people that keep doing it, actually enjoyed doing it.
You give up far too easily.
I know that you're not honey. What do you mean about them?
I think Viggo'd have a cow if it became known he had an almost foursome in our house. Just saying.
What difference would that make?
Errr... he could join in? Forget I mentioned it.
Yes love, you can. Though doing it yourself is damned near impossible
You want us to go visit the girl with lot of piercings again? Note to self: ask her name next time.
*stares* I said undress, not fuck. He has a beautiful body. And I'm well aware of what you fantasize
I could bribe you with blowjobs. *perks up* A blowjob for each paragraph.
*moan* Kaaaaarl
My father never hit me. By the way, he asked how you were doing in his last e-mail. I suspect he must have been really drunk, but still.
Mental abuse is just as bad as physical abuse in my opinion. What did he say?
Oh, thank you. Can you imagine the guy's job? Having to listen to everybody's boring story as they prattle on about how they were really good, deep down, and the sheep fucking incident was just a drunken mistake? Poor guy would want to shoot himself.
Maybe he likes to sit around with the guys on his time off and joke about the freaks?
Your stubborness about money is legendary, love. *nods*
As is yours
My house would have killed you. It was usually me yelling at my father for being a dick, my mother yelling at whatever pixies or angels she was hallucinating and my father screaming at both of us. Yeah. Hm, I need to get a birthday gift for my dad.
Sounds scary. When is your father's birthday?
Are you saying they're fat? *laughs*
No. I'm saying they're adult sized with kitten mentalities
I didn't actually kiss that girl in kindergarden, I swear.
What girl?
You give up far too easily.
I was never much interested in anything to do with the water
I think Viggo'd have a cow if it became known he had an almost foursome in our house. Just saying.
Who's going to tell?
Errr... he could join in? Forget I mentioned it.
*stares at you* I thought you didn't want to mess about with anyone else?
You want us to go visit the girl with lot of piercings again? Note to self: ask her name next time.
Mental abuse is just as bad as physical abuse in my opinion. What did he say?
Hm, well, he's impressed about my grades (finally let him see them), he's glad I'm doing educational trips (I forgot to mention the deep into the jungle bit), he thinks I should look into grad school too (damn you Sarah) and he asked if you were doing well. Mind you, the words boyfriend or husband haven't been typed on his keyboard yet and I'm not holding my breath. But eh, he remembered your name.
Maybe he likes to sit around with the guys on his time off and joke about the freaks?
Saints and angels don't joke about the freaks, Marton. *tsks at you* I'm shocked.
Sounds scary. When is your father's birthday?
Only my mother would curse at her hallucinations. Hmm... May 12.
No. I'm saying they're adult sized with kitten mentalities
Is now a good time to mention they knocked down that plant you keep in the kitchen? Pippin did it.
What girl?
The one who had ribbons in her hair and who let me play with her barbie. I can't remember her name now.
*stares at you* I thought you didn't want to mess about with anyone else?
I don't.
If you'd like, we can go shopping there together
*grins* Are you sure you don't want me to pierce the other one?
Even if Orlando asked you to? *hypothetical*
Then I'd think less of him for cheating on his husband, wouldn't I? I mean, I'm a slut, we both know it, but you can't marry someone then cheat on them. *shrugs*
Hm, well, he's impressed about my grades (finally let him see them), he's glad I'm doing educational trips (I forgot to mention the deep into the jungle bit), he thinks I should look into grad school too (damn you Sarah) and he asked if you were doing well. Mind you, the words boyfriend or husband haven't been typed on his keyboard yet and I'm not holding my breath. But eh, he remembered your name.
I'm glad you finally shared something with him love.
Saints and angels don't joke about the freaks, Marton. *tsks at you* I'm shocked.
Well seeing as I dont believe in the Saints running Heaven, I think the fictional ones would
Only my mother would curse at her hallucinations. Hmm... May 12.
What sort of things does your father like?
Is now a good time to mention they knocked down that plant you keep in the kitchen? Pippin did it.
Is that why there was dirt on the counter? I wish you'd tell me when they mess with my plants when it happens instead of trying to hide it. That first plant one of them got in the livingroom died because it wasnt properly taken care of.
The one who had ribbons in her hair and who let me play with her barbie. I can't remember her name now.
You might want to start from the beginning love
*grins* Are you sure you don't want me to pierce the other one?
No need to love. I like the one you have just fine.
Then I'd think less of him for cheating on his husband, wouldn't I? I mean, I'm a slut, we both know it, but you can't marry someone then cheat on them. *shrugs*
I was thinking of it in terms of both of them knowing. It would have to be consentual as I really dont believe Viggo or Orlando would consider touching anyone else without talking about it first. They may not even do that.
*looks very, very smug* I should try that next time you get all stubborn.
I'm glad you finally shared something with him love.
You DO realize I'm still lying about almost everything I do, right? I'd freak if he saw my back, for example.
What sort of things does your father like?
Ugh. He's a cliche. Old collector books. Cigars. I never figured out if he genuinely likes those things or if he thinks that fits with the image of a lawyer who suddenly got rich. *rolls my eyes*
I wish you'd tell me when they mess with my plants when it happens instead of trying to hide it. That first plant one of them got in the livingroom died because it wasnt properly taken care of.
Hey, I can take care of a plant. My cactus is still alive and everything.
You might want to start from the beginning love
Alright, on the first day of kindergarden.. you did go to kindergarden, right? Anyway, there was this really cute little girl, blonde hair and everything, all dressed up. So, anyway, she let me play with her Barbie, we really hit it off. Next thing I knew, her mother was storming in and screaming at me for kissing her. Which I never did. We just played doctor, really, nothing to get so excited about
It would have to be consentual as I really dont believe Viggo or Orlando would consider touching anyone else without talking about it first. They may not even do that.
I'd like to remind you, it was all hypothetical. Don't go asking them.
*looks very, very smug* I should try that next time you get all stubborn.
Look who's taking about being stubborn *eyes you*
You DO realize I'm still lying about almost everything I do, right? I'd freak if he saw my back, for example.
Yes love, I figured there are many things you still keep from him.
Ugh. He's a cliche. Old collector books. Cigars. I never figured out if he genuinely likes those things or if he thinks that fits with the image of a lawyer who suddenly got rich. *rolls my eyes*
I see *calls a broker to order a couple boxes of the finest Cuban cigars available and have them sent to your dad from us*
Hey, I can take care of a plant. My cactus is still alive and everything.
Well then why did that other one almost die? *I know the answer why, but I want you to prove you can take care of my plant*
We just played doctor, really, nothing to get so excited about
Just played doctor *eyes you* I'm not so far gone I dont know some of the stuff that entails when you're young. What exactly did you do?
I'd like to remind you, it was all hypothetical. Don't go asking them.
I know that honey. I'm the one that suggested it. You still didn't answer my question. Would you do it?
*raises an eyebrow* Would you prefer me all meek and submissive, love? *thinks you'd get bored in five minutes top*
That is quite possible. It still wouldn't make me love you any less.
Hm. I'm not sure he'll be pleased or he's going to freak. Don't hold your breath for a thank you note, alright?
I'm not expecting so much as a thank you Karl. He is family whether he likes the idea or not. I like to do things for my family. Speaking of which, when is your mother's birthday?
The root system got all broken up? *eyesdart, says that randomly*
You'd have to have done a lot more than let the kittens play with the plant for that to cause significant damage to that particular plant Karl.
Errrr... I think the floor needs some mopping. *tries to escape*
Karl Urban, tell me what you did with that girl *eyes you*
Why do you want to know? Would you fuck Viggo if he asked you?
I know I started this questioning you first and I expect to hear an answer *waits stubbornly*
That is quite possible. It still wouldn't make me love you any less.
*blushes, then squirms* Really? *looks horribly embarrassed then all pleased at the same time*
I'm not expecting so much as a thank you Karl. He is family whether he likes the idea or not. I like to do things for my family. Speaking of which, when is your mother's birthday?
Hm, you know, if I ever want to give him a heart attack, I should mention that one to him. *cackles evilly* *perks up* My mom's is April 21st. Now, she would appreciate it.
You'd have to have done a lot more than let the kittens play with the plant for that to cause significant damage to that particular plant Karl.
Why do I get the feeling I'm failing the quizz? That never, never happens too. Hold me, I'm scared.
Karl Urban, tell me what you did with that girl *eyes you*
Hey, I didn't rape her or anything! Not that a five years old can rape anyone, for that matter, but you know what I mean.
I know I started this questioning you first and I expect to hear an answer *waits stubbornly*
*blushes, then squirms* Really? *looks horribly embarrassed then all pleased at the same time*
Absolutely. There is nothing and no person in this world, that could make me love you any less.
Hm, you know, if I ever want to give him a heart attack, I should mention that one to him. *cackles evilly* *perks up* My mom's is April 21st. Now, she would appreciate it.
Tell him what? You didn't tell me it was her birthday? What does she like? We're already late in sending something.
Why do I get the feeling I'm failing the quizz? That never, never happens too. Hold me, I'm scared.
Because you are love. And I would hold you, except we're both in our offices playing at computer wars
Hey, I didn't rape her or anything! Not that a five years old can rape anyone, for that matter, but you know what I mean.
That still does not tell me what exactly it is you DID do.
Absolutely. There is nothing and no person in this world, that could make me love you any less.
*blushes even more* *looks very, very happy*
Tell him what? You didn't tell me it was her birthday? What does she like? We're already late in sending something.
"So, dad, my immoral gay lover is considering you as family." My dad: *has heart attack*
Does that answer your question?
Well, there's a reason I spent two hours on the phone with her at some ungodly hour, now, isn't there? Not my fault you don't read my mind for the important bits of information. My mother loves books. And flowers. She's one of those gardening nuts. *smiles fondly*
Because you are love. And I would hold you, except we're both in our offices playing at computer wars
*looks around at my so-called office. knows damn well you could lose three full grown kittens in here with all the crap.* Uh uh. Office.
That still does not tell me what exactly it is you DID do.
Apparently I talked her into taking off her dress. She had yellow ducks on her knickers. I think the teacher had to bodily stop her mother from killing me. It's a bit hazy. You should talk to my mom, she has a list of all my childhood horror stories, it could last for hours. Other mothers usually think she's a saint for not putting me up for adoption. *grins*
Are you going to answer me or not?
I'm not sure, love. I like to think I'd say no. If I was a better person, I'd say no. As it is, you know I'm weak. *sighs* I'd probably say no out of guilt. I think.
"So, dad, my immoral gay lover is considering you as family." My dad: *has heart attack* Does that answer your question?
You didn't tell your parents we're married? I would have told my aunt, were she still alive. I KNOW she'd have keeled over, but I wouldn't care. I tell everyone who I'm married to.
Well, there's a reason I spent two hours on the phone with her at some ungodly hour, now, isn't there? Not my fault you don't read my mind for the important bits of information. My mother loves books. And flowers. She's one of those gardening nuts. *smiles fondly*
I see *eyes you* I told you, if you're not thinking about it, I don't get the information. I must have been elsewhere any given time you actually thought "oh, today is mom's birthday". I will send her a gift from me, as you've already spoken with her.
*looks around at my so-called office. knows damn well you could lose three full grown kittens in here with all the crap.* Uh uh. Office.
It is no fault of mine you don't clean that office. When I put it together for you it was perfectly clean and serviceable. Of course, that was a year ago.
Apparently I talked her into taking off her dress. She had yellow ducks on her knickers. I think the teacher had to bodily stop her mother from killing me. It's a bit hazy. You should talk to my mom, she has a list of all my childhood horror stories, it could last for hours. Other mothers usually think she's a saint for not putting me up for adoption. *grins*
Well then perhaps I will call your mother? If you're not going to give me more tales of your past, maybe she will?
I'm not sure, love. I like to think I'd say no. If I was a better person, I'd say no. As it is, you know I'm weak. *sighs* I'd probably say no out of guilt. I think.
Guilt? Because you're interested in bedding a pretty man? Karl, you're 19 years old. A man at that age rarely thinks of anything not directly related to his own hormones. I'm lucky you've remained faithful for as long as you have.
Love, I told my mother. I tell her many things and she heavily edits it for my dad's ears. It's always been that way. She always knew a lot of the shit that I was up to that my dad never heard about or even suspected. She's insane, but not stupid.
I will send her a gift from me, as you've already spoken with her.
She said that since you're rich, you should pay for her ticket to come visit me. There are reasons I love her. *smirks*
It is no fault of mine you don't clean that office. When I put it together for you it was perfectly clean and serviceable. Of course, that was a year ago.
I was too busy having an epic battle with you about buying me a computer to notice the clean and serviceable aspect of the office. So yeah.
Well then perhaps I will call your mother? If you're not going to give me more tales of your past, maybe she will?
It's not that I don't want to tell you, love. Actually, if you knew what to ask about, I could tell you lot of stories. Since I don't actually believe now you would walk out on me for them. But it's always the same thing. If someone asks me on the spot to just talk about my life, nothing specific comes to mind, other than the generalities I already gave you. If something comes back to me, I can always post it in my journal, how's that? Besides, my life is just so damn boring compared to yours. I have interesting sex stories (that'd probably just make you cringe) and interesting insanity stories (that'd make you cringe too, for that matter), but that's about it.
Guilt? Because you're interested in bedding a pretty man? Karl, you're 19 years old. A man at that age rarely thinks of anything not directly related to his own hormones. I'm lucky you've remained faithful for as long as you have.
.... I'm not sure if I should be relieved you're so understanding or hurt that you... Never mind. I suppose that in a few years I might start missing the feel of a woman. I wondered about that. I'll let you know if I do. *shrugs* I do intend to try to be faithful, you know.
Love, I told my mother. I tell her many things and she heavily edits it for my dad's ears. It's always been that way. She always knew a lot of the shit that I was up to that my dad never heard about or even suspected. She's insane, but not stupid.
Well I would be happy to stand in front of your dad and tell him I'm your husband.
She said that since you're rich, you should pay for her ticket to come visit me. There are reasons I love her. *smirks*
I just called the ticket agent and arranged a first class, round trip, open ended ticket for her. I will call her tonight and let her know.
I was too busy having an epic battle with you about buying me a computer to notice the clean and serviceable aspect of the office. So yeah.
Honey, you already had one computer in there, I didn't see the reason why you need a second one.
...If something comes back to me, I can always post it in my journal, how's that? Besides, my life is just so damn boring compared to yours. I have interesting sex stories (that'd probably just make you cringe) and interesting insanity stories (that'd make you cringe too, for that matter), but that's about it.
That would be fine. I'd like to hear them all please.
.... I'm not sure if I should be relieved you're so understanding or hurt that you... Never mind. I suppose that in a few years I might start missing the feel of a woman. I wondered about that. I'll let you know if I do. *shrugs* I do intend to try to be faithful, you know.
I would rather you just tell me what you're thinking, rather than shoving it off with "never mind". You know I don't think I'll of you at all. As for women, as I've said, if you feel the need, as long as I know about it and can be there with you, I'll survive it. If it's what you need than it's what you will have.
Well I would be happy to stand in front of your dad and tell him I'm your husband.
Love, he'd just give you some crap about being no such thing as a marriage between two men. It's like talking to a brick wall. He's not worth your time.
I just called the ticket agent and arranged a first class, round trip, open ended ticket for her. I will call her tonight and let her know.
*squees, hugs stuffing out of you* Is she staying here or at the hotel?
That would be fine. I'd like to hear them all please.
Be afraid what you wish for.
As for women, as I've said, if you feel the need, as long as I know about it and can be there with you, I'll survive it. If it's what you need than it's what you will have.
Love, he'd just give you some crap about being no such thing as a marriage between two men. It's like talking to a brick wall. He's not worth your time.
If you say so love. I'm still not going to keep my love for you a secret, from him or anyone else.
*squees, hugs stuffing out of you* Is she staying here or at the hotel?
I would never allow her to stay anywhere else. What sort of host do you think I am?
Be afraid what you wish for.
I am not afraid of anything where you're concerned love. Except ever losing you.
I just need you.
Well I'm yours unequivically. I love you always and forever.
I could bribe you with blowjobs. *perks up* A blowjob for each paragraph.
*sigh* So I feel the same way about your father but I dont go trying to kill him now, do I?
My father never hit me. By the way, he asked how you were doing in his last e-mail. I suspect he must have been really drunk, but still.
It was a joke love. I believe there is a higher power. I do not believe there are a bunch of old men running the gate to Heaven or whatever.
Oh, thank you. Can you imagine the guy's job? Having to listen to everybody's boring story as they prattle on about how they were really good, deep down, and the sheep fucking incident was just a drunken mistake? Poor guy would want to shoot himself.
I direct deposited the money into her account. It's not as if she had a choice in the matter. And besides, she did work she deserved to get paid for. There is nothing to argue about.
Your stubborness about money is legendary, love. *nods*
If you feel a need to yell, take a moment to collect yourself and then have a calm discourse. Of course, seeing as you were raised to do otherwise, it could be a hard thing to un-learn.
My house would have killed you. It was usually me yelling at my father for being a dick, my mother yelling at whatever pixies or angels she was hallucinating and my father screaming at both of us. Yeah. Hm, I need to get a birthday gift for my dad.
As to your pets, they're still kittens as they're all still young, but just LARGE kittens.
Are you saying they're fat? *laughs*
I know your current thoughts and feelings. I do not know your life history. Its not as if you sit thinking about everything you've done since you were born.
I didn't actually kiss that girl in kindergarden, I swear.
Yes well, the difference being, most people that keep doing it, actually enjoyed doing it.
You give up far too easily.
I know that you're not honey. What do you mean about them?
I think Viggo'd have a cow if it became known he had an almost foursome in our house. Just saying.
What difference would that make?
Errr... he could join in? Forget I mentioned it.
Yes love, you can. Though doing it yourself is damned near impossible
You want us to go visit the girl with lot of piercings again? Note to self: ask her name next time.
*stares* I said undress, not fuck. He has a beautiful body. And I'm well aware of what you fantasize
Yeah, well, I wouldn't actually do it.
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*moan* Kaaaaarl
My father never hit me. By the way, he asked how you were doing in his last e-mail. I suspect he must have been really drunk, but still.
Mental abuse is just as bad as physical abuse in my opinion. What did he say?
Oh, thank you. Can you imagine the guy's job? Having to listen to everybody's boring story as they prattle on about how they were really good, deep down, and the sheep fucking incident was just a drunken mistake? Poor guy would want to shoot himself.
Maybe he likes to sit around with the guys on his time off and joke about the freaks?
Your stubborness about money is legendary, love. *nods*
As is yours
My house would have killed you. It was usually me yelling at my father for being a dick, my mother yelling at whatever pixies or angels she was hallucinating and my father screaming at both of us. Yeah. Hm, I need to get a birthday gift for my dad.
Sounds scary. When is your father's birthday?
Are you saying they're fat? *laughs*
No. I'm saying they're adult sized with kitten mentalities
I didn't actually kiss that girl in kindergarden, I swear.
What girl?
You give up far too easily.
I was never much interested in anything to do with the water
I think Viggo'd have a cow if it became known he had an almost foursome in our house. Just saying.
Who's going to tell?
Errr... he could join in? Forget I mentioned it.
*stares at you* I thought you didn't want to mess about with anyone else?
You want us to go visit the girl with lot of piercings again? Note to self: ask her name next time.
If you'd like, we can go shopping there together
Yeah, well, I wouldn't actually do it.
Even if Orlando asked you to? *hypothetical*
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*licks my lips, dives under the computer desk*
Mental abuse is just as bad as physical abuse in my opinion. What did he say?
Hm, well, he's impressed about my grades (finally let him see them), he's glad I'm doing educational trips (I forgot to mention the deep into the jungle bit), he thinks I should look into grad school too (damn you Sarah) and he asked if you were doing well. Mind you, the words boyfriend or husband haven't been typed on his keyboard yet and I'm not holding my breath. But eh, he remembered your name.
Maybe he likes to sit around with the guys on his time off and joke about the freaks?
Saints and angels don't joke about the freaks, Marton. *tsks at you* I'm shocked.
Sounds scary. When is your father's birthday?
Only my mother would curse at her hallucinations. Hmm... May 12.
No. I'm saying they're adult sized with kitten mentalities
Is now a good time to mention they knocked down that plant you keep in the kitchen? Pippin did it.
What girl?
The one who had ribbons in her hair and who let me play with her barbie. I can't remember her name now.
*stares at you* I thought you didn't want to mess about with anyone else?
I don't.
If you'd like, we can go shopping there together
*grins* Are you sure you don't want me to pierce the other one?
Even if Orlando asked you to? *hypothetical*
Then I'd think less of him for cheating on his husband, wouldn't I? I mean, I'm a slut, we both know it, but you can't marry someone then cheat on them. *shrugs*
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*licks my lips, dives under the computer desk*
Hm, well, he's impressed about my grades (finally let him see them), he's glad I'm doing educational trips (I forgot to mention the deep into the jungle bit), he thinks I should look into grad school too (damn you Sarah) and he asked if you were doing well. Mind you, the words boyfriend or husband haven't been typed on his keyboard yet and I'm not holding my breath. But eh, he remembered your name.
I'm glad you finally shared something with him love.
Saints and angels don't joke about the freaks, Marton. *tsks at you* I'm shocked.
Well seeing as I dont believe in the Saints running Heaven, I think the fictional ones would
Only my mother would curse at her hallucinations. Hmm... May 12.
What sort of things does your father like?
Is now a good time to mention they knocked down that plant you keep in the kitchen? Pippin did it.
Is that why there was dirt on the counter? I wish you'd tell me when they mess with my plants when it happens instead of trying to hide it. That first plant one of them got in the livingroom died because it wasnt properly taken care of.
The one who had ribbons in her hair and who let me play with her barbie. I can't remember her name now.
You might want to start from the beginning love
*grins* Are you sure you don't want me to pierce the other one?
No need to love. I like the one you have just fine.
Then I'd think less of him for cheating on his husband, wouldn't I? I mean, I'm a slut, we both know it, but you can't marry someone then cheat on them. *shrugs*
I was thinking of it in terms of both of them knowing. It would have to be consentual as I really dont believe Viggo or Orlando would consider touching anyone else without talking about it first. They may not even do that.
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*looks very, very smug* I should try that next time you get all stubborn.
I'm glad you finally shared something with him love.
You DO realize I'm still lying about almost everything I do, right? I'd freak if he saw my back, for example.
What sort of things does your father like?
Ugh. He's a cliche. Old collector books. Cigars. I never figured out if he genuinely likes those things or if he thinks that fits with the image of a lawyer who suddenly got rich. *rolls my eyes*
I wish you'd tell me when they mess with my plants when it happens instead of trying to hide it. That first plant one of them got in the livingroom died because it wasnt properly taken care of.
Hey, I can take care of a plant. My cactus is still alive and everything.
You might want to start from the beginning love
Alright, on the first day of kindergarden.. you did go to kindergarden, right? Anyway, there was this really cute little girl, blonde hair and everything, all dressed up. So, anyway, she let me play with her Barbie, we really hit it off. Next thing I knew, her mother was storming in and screaming at me for kissing her. Which I never did. We just played doctor, really, nothing to get so excited about
It would have to be consentual as I really dont believe Viggo or Orlando would consider touching anyone else without talking about it first. They may not even do that.
I'd like to remind you, it was all hypothetical. Don't go asking them.
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Look who's taking about being stubborn *eyes you*
You DO realize I'm still lying about almost everything I do, right? I'd freak if he saw my back, for example.
Yes love, I figured there are many things you still keep from him.
Ugh. He's a cliche. Old collector books. Cigars. I never figured out if he genuinely likes those things or if he thinks that fits with the image of a lawyer who suddenly got rich. *rolls my eyes*
I see *calls a broker to order a couple boxes of the finest Cuban cigars available and have them sent to your dad from us*
Hey, I can take care of a plant. My cactus is still alive and everything.
Well then why did that other one almost die? *I know the answer why, but I want you to prove you can take care of my plant*
We just played doctor, really, nothing to get so excited about
Just played doctor *eyes you* I'm not so far gone I dont know some of the stuff that entails when you're young. What exactly did you do?
I'd like to remind you, it was all hypothetical. Don't go asking them.
I know that honey. I'm the one that suggested it. You still didn't answer my question. Would you do it?
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*raises an eyebrow* Would you prefer me all meek and submissive, love? *thinks you'd get bored in five minutes top*
I see *calls a broker to order a couple boxes of the finest Cuban cigars available and have them sent to your dad from us*
Hm. I'm not sure he'll be pleased or he's going to freak. Don't hold your breath for a thank you note, alright?
Well then why did that other one almost die? *I know the answer why, but I want you to prove you can take care of my plant*
The root system got all broken up? *eyesdart, says that randomly*
Just played doctor *eyes you* I'm not so far gone I dont know some of the stuff that entails when you're young. What exactly did you do?
Errrr... I think the floor needs some mopping. *tries to escape*
I know that honey. I'm the one that suggested it. You still didn't answer my question. Would you do it?
Why do you want to know? Would you fuck Viggo if he asked you?
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That is quite possible. It still wouldn't make me love you any less.
Hm. I'm not sure he'll be pleased or he's going to freak. Don't hold your breath for a thank you note, alright?
I'm not expecting so much as a thank you Karl. He is family whether he likes the idea or not. I like to do things for my family. Speaking of which, when is your mother's birthday?
The root system got all broken up? *eyesdart, says that randomly*
You'd have to have done a lot more than let the kittens play with the plant for that to cause significant damage to that particular plant Karl.
Errrr... I think the floor needs some mopping. *tries to escape*
Karl Urban, tell me what you did with that girl *eyes you*
Why do you want to know? Would you fuck Viggo if he asked you?
I know I started this questioning you first and I expect to hear an answer *waits stubbornly*
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*blushes, then squirms* Really? *looks horribly embarrassed then all pleased at the same time*
I'm not expecting so much as a thank you Karl. He is family whether he likes the idea or not. I like to do things for my family. Speaking of which, when is your mother's birthday?
Hm, you know, if I ever want to give him a heart attack, I should mention that one to him. *cackles evilly*
*perks up* My mom's is April 21st. Now, she would appreciate it.
You'd have to have done a lot more than let the kittens play with the plant for that to cause significant damage to that particular plant Karl.
Why do I get the feeling I'm failing the quizz? That never, never happens too. Hold me, I'm scared.
Karl Urban, tell me what you did with that girl *eyes you*
Hey, I didn't rape her or anything! Not that a five years old can rape anyone, for that matter, but you know what I mean.
I know I started this questioning you first and I expect to hear an answer *waits stubbornly*
Fine, but if I answer you, you have to answer me.
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Absolutely. There is nothing and no person in this world, that could make me love you any less.
Hm, you know, if I ever want to give him a heart attack, I should mention that one to him. *cackles evilly* *perks up* My mom's is April 21st. Now, she would appreciate it.
Tell him what? You didn't tell me it was her birthday? What does she like? We're already late in sending something.
Why do I get the feeling I'm failing the quizz? That never, never happens too. Hold me, I'm scared.
Because you are love. And I would hold you, except we're both in our offices playing at computer wars
Hey, I didn't rape her or anything! Not that a five years old can rape anyone, for that matter, but you know what I mean.
That still does not tell me what exactly it is you DID do.
Fine, but if I answer you, you have to answer me.
Are you going to answer me or not?
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*blushes even more* *looks very, very happy*
Tell him what? You didn't tell me it was her birthday? What does she like? We're already late in sending something.
"So, dad, my immoral gay lover is considering you as family."
My dad: *has heart attack*
Does that answer your question?
Well, there's a reason I spent two hours on the phone with her at some ungodly hour, now, isn't there? Not my fault you don't read my mind for the important bits of information.
My mother loves books. And flowers. She's one of those gardening nuts. *smiles fondly*
Because you are love. And I would hold you, except we're both in our offices playing at computer wars
*looks around at my so-called office. knows damn well you could lose three full grown kittens in here with all the crap.* Uh uh. Office.
That still does not tell me what exactly it is you DID do.
Apparently I talked her into taking off her dress. She had yellow ducks on her knickers. I think the teacher had to bodily stop her mother from killing me. It's a bit hazy. You should talk to my mom, she has a list of all my childhood horror stories, it could last for hours. Other mothers usually think she's a saint for not putting me up for adoption. *grins*
Are you going to answer me or not?
I'm not sure, love. I like to think I'd say no. If I was a better person, I'd say no. As it is, you know I'm weak. *sighs* I'd probably say no out of guilt. I think.
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You didn't tell your parents we're married? I would have told my aunt, were she still alive. I KNOW she'd have keeled over, but I wouldn't care. I tell everyone who I'm married to.
Well, there's a reason I spent two hours on the phone with her at some ungodly hour, now, isn't there? Not my fault you don't read my mind for the important bits of information. My mother loves books. And flowers. She's one of those gardening nuts. *smiles fondly*
I see *eyes you* I told you, if you're not thinking about it, I don't get the information. I must have been elsewhere any given time you actually thought "oh, today is mom's birthday". I will send her a gift from me, as you've already spoken with her.
*looks around at my so-called office. knows damn well you could lose three full grown kittens in here with all the crap.* Uh uh. Office.
It is no fault of mine you don't clean that office. When I put it together for you it was perfectly clean and serviceable. Of course, that was a year ago.
Apparently I talked her into taking off her dress. She had yellow ducks on her knickers. I think the teacher had to bodily stop her mother from killing me. It's a bit hazy. You should talk to my mom, she has a list of all my childhood horror stories, it could last for hours. Other mothers usually think she's a saint for not putting me up for adoption. *grins*
Well then perhaps I will call your mother? If you're not going to give me more tales of your past, maybe she will?
I'm not sure, love. I like to think I'd say no. If I was a better person, I'd say no. As it is, you know I'm weak. *sighs* I'd probably say no out of guilt. I think.
Guilt? Because you're interested in bedding a pretty man? Karl, you're 19 years old. A man at that age rarely thinks of anything not directly related to his own hormones. I'm lucky you've remained faithful for as long as you have.
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Love, I told my mother. I tell her many things and she heavily edits it for my dad's ears. It's always been that way. She always knew a lot of the shit that I was up to that my dad never heard about or even suspected. She's insane, but not stupid.
I will send her a gift from me, as you've already spoken with her.
She said that since you're rich, you should pay for her ticket to come visit me. There are reasons I love her. *smirks*
It is no fault of mine you don't clean that office. When I put it together for you it was perfectly clean and serviceable. Of course, that was a year ago.
I was too busy having an epic battle with you about buying me a computer to notice the clean and serviceable aspect of the office. So yeah.
Well then perhaps I will call your mother? If you're not going to give me more tales of your past, maybe she will?
It's not that I don't want to tell you, love. Actually, if you knew what to ask about, I could tell you lot of stories. Since I don't actually believe now you would walk out on me for them. But it's always the same thing. If someone asks me on the spot to just talk about my life, nothing specific comes to mind, other than the generalities I already gave you. If something comes back to me, I can always post it in my journal, how's that?
Besides, my life is just so damn boring compared to yours. I have interesting sex stories (that'd probably just make you cringe) and interesting insanity stories (that'd make you cringe too, for that matter), but that's about it.
Guilt? Because you're interested in bedding a pretty man? Karl, you're 19 years old. A man at that age rarely thinks of anything not directly related to his own hormones. I'm lucky you've remained faithful for as long as you have.
.... I'm not sure if I should be relieved you're so understanding or hurt that you... Never mind. I suppose that in a few years I might start missing the feel of a woman. I wondered about that. I'll let you know if I do. *shrugs* I do intend to try to be faithful, you know.
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Well I would be happy to stand in front of your dad and tell him I'm your husband.
She said that since you're rich, you should pay for her ticket to come visit me. There are reasons I love her. *smirks*
I just called the ticket agent and arranged a first class, round trip, open ended ticket for her. I will call her tonight and let her know.
I was too busy having an epic battle with you about buying me a computer to notice the clean and serviceable aspect of the office. So yeah.
Honey, you already had one computer in there, I didn't see the reason why you need a second one.
...If something comes back to me, I can always post it in my journal, how's that?
Besides, my life is just so damn boring compared to yours. I have interesting sex stories (that'd probably just make you cringe) and interesting insanity stories (that'd make you cringe too, for that matter), but that's about it.
That would be fine. I'd like to hear them all please.
.... I'm not sure if I should be relieved you're so understanding or hurt that you... Never mind. I suppose that in a few years I might start missing the feel of a woman. I wondered about that. I'll let you know if I do. *shrugs* I do intend to try to be faithful, you know.
I would rather you just tell me what you're thinking, rather than shoving it off with "never mind". You know I don't think I'll of you at all. As for women, as I've said, if you feel the need, as long as I know about it and can be there with you, I'll survive it. If it's what you need than it's what you will have.
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Love, he'd just give you some crap about being no such thing as a marriage between two men. It's like talking to a brick wall. He's not worth your time.
I just called the ticket agent and arranged a first class, round trip, open ended ticket for her. I will call her tonight and let her know.
*squees, hugs stuffing out of you* Is she staying here or at the hotel?
That would be fine. I'd like to hear them all please.
Be afraid what you wish for.
As for women, as I've said, if you feel the need, as long as I know about it and can be there with you, I'll survive it. If it's what you need than it's what you will have.
I just need you.
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If you say so love. I'm still not going to keep my love for you a secret, from him or anyone else.
*squees, hugs stuffing out of you* Is she staying here or at the hotel?
I would never allow her to stay anywhere else. What sort of host do you think I am?
Be afraid what you wish for.
I am not afraid of anything where you're concerned love. Except ever losing you.
I just need you.
Well I'm yours unequivically. I love you always and forever.
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