Fic: Off the Stage (12/14)
Title: Off the Stage (12/14)
Author: gradgirl (aka Ali)
Rating: NC-17
Chapter Twelve
Van honestly didn’t know how to feel when he woke up the next morning. He wasn’t as lost and confused as he had been the previous morning after Eric’s quick departure. The talk had helped, of course, and there was a promise, a hope for something that Van never allowed himself to believe in. The brief time he’d spent with Eric the other night, making out on his couch and then the confession, that Eric might have been in a relationship, but…
“Because he’s not you!”
A slow grin worked its way across Van’s face. And the confirmation that there was an us. That this time, Van stood a chance that he could move beyond fantasies and wishes.
The blonde got out of bed. “There is an us,” he whispered to himself and couldn’t stop that grin from growing or leaving.
His cellphone buzzed and Van immediately thought of Eric. Without checking the I.D. he answered, “Hello?”
“Van? Is everything all right?” Jake’s worried voice greeted him, and he immediately lost his smile.
The blonde hadn’t spoken to his best friend in a few days. He’d been meaning to call, to have dinner with Jake and his family, but work and everything that happened with Eric sent those plans out the window. He felt like an awful friend.
“Uh, yeah,” Van finally answered.
“It’s just… Sorry,” Jake quickly responded. “After our last conversation… I remember how you could get about Eric, and with this play… How are you?”
“Are you still in town?” Van didn’t want to have this conversation over the phone.
“Yeah. Do you want to meet for coffee?” Jake offered. “Do you have time before work?”
Van glanced at the clock next to his bed. “Yeah, I have a little bit of time. But we should find someplace close to the theater.” Van quickly rattled off the address and hung up. He had hoped to think of something to wear, a new shirt, something that would make him look good, but then the mentally shook his head. Eric lived in t-shirts and a button down-usually flannel-shirt. He wasn’t going to start paying attention to what Van was wearing.
But at the last moment, Van did put on a new pair of jeans, a little tight, but they made his ass look good. He shook his head as he headed out the door. He’d never been that guy before, and he did mean it when he said he would wait for Eric until the older man was ready, but that didn’t mean that Van couldn’t try to speed up the process as well.
When Van got to the coffeehouse, Jake greeted him with a quick hug and then the brunette gave him an once-over. “Well you don’t look the worse for wear.”
Van chuckled and shook his head. “Thanks, Jake,” he offered sarcastically.
They headed toward the line.
“Look, it’s just you were freaking out about losing your job, about Eric, and now you’re…” Jake’s voice trailed off and he realized, “Are you seeing someone?”
“What can I get you?” the barista offered.
“Van?” Jake ignored the question.
“Uh, Jake, order your coffee.” There was a rustling of people behind them. “Then I’ll answer your questions.”
A few minutes later, seated at a table, Jake asked, “So?”
Van briefly looked around the room. Despite everything, to actually say it aloud, to say it to Jake, the person who knew him best and knew the magnitude of what Van was about to say… “I think I might be starting to date Eric.”
It was on the tip of Jake’s tongue to say Eric who, because he couldn’t honestly believe… “What happened? Tell me everything.”
Van raised one of his eyebrows quizzically, not sure if Jake really wanted to know everything. The blonde reached for his coffee, something to do with his hands and a place to put his gaze. He wasn’t sure how much he could admit while looking into Jake’s eyes. He flushed briefly, remembering the feel of Eric and the salty taste of his skin.
“Van, have you slept with Eric?”
The blonde jumped, not sure if it was question or accusation. “Not exactly,” Van admitted, glancing around making sure no one heard.
“What do you mean not exactly?” Jake questioned, leaning in closer. He wasn’t sure what to think. He wanted Van to be happy but, as far as Jake knew, the man in question was straight with an ex-wife and two children.
“Handjobs on my couch,” Van replied.
Jake leaned back a little. Yes, that definitely wasn’t the response he was expecting. He’d felt a little awkward encouraging Van a few days ago to talk to Eric, to admit his feelings, to see if their former co-star shared the same feelings. Above everything else, Jake wanted Van to be happy. He remembered the hurt and the longing he often heard in the blonde’s voice all those years ago. The change in Van was significant, but there were still so many questions.
“I did what you said,” Van explained. “I talked to Eric; I told him how I felt.”
“Before?” Jake checked, because now he wasn’t sure how Van felt.
“Yeah, I told him about the crush and he…” Van smiled. “He was Eric. He was nice and cool about the whole thing. He tried to make me feel less uncomfortable about everything, but…” Van shook his head and remembered the awkward play rehearsal and Eric’s desire to touch Van without it being weird. A brief, rueful smirk graced his mouth.
“It was awkward,” Jake finished.
“Yeah,” the blonde said. “I felt so exposed and more than that like everyone could tell just by looking at me how much I wanted him. And it was bad enough telling him.”
Jake nodded his head in understanding; so many of their past conversations revolved around Van’s concern about Eric’s knowing and then the problems it could create. “And so how did you go from awkwardness to…” Jake’s voice trailed off and he gestured helplessly for a moment. He honestly didn’t want to think about his best friend and Eric… He couldn’t even finish the thought.
“I’m not sure myself,” Van admitted. That first night still felt like some fantasy, the moments leading up to Eric’s leaving were so much of what Van had wanted for so long, but even more than that, they were better than anything Van could have imagined, because it was real. “We were talking and he kissed me.” Van smiled incredulously. “He kissed me,” he repeated, this time a solemn whisper. “One thing led to another and…”
Jake held up his hand. “I get it. So now what? You’re dating.”
“I think so,” Van said. “But…” The blonde sighed. After finding Eric gone, it had been so painful, and the last thing Van wanted was to relive it. “He left afterwards; he just walked out, without saying anything without… He just left.” Van took a deep breath. The pain ripping through him again.
“I’ll kill him,” the brunette muttered.
“Jake.”
“He left! What the hell, Van? That’s not okay.”
“I know, I know,” Van was quick to assure Jake. “Believe me, I was pissed and hurt, and I’m still pissed. I hate that he walked out. He was scared and freaked, and so was I,” the blonde admitted. “I never… I hate that he walked out, but I love that Eric came back.”
Jake had always liked Eric, loved the guy, in fact, thought he was an amazing actor, great dad, fun guy. He didn’t understand Van’s attraction, but he understood wanting to have Eric in your life. But above everything else, Jake didn’t want to see Van go through more of what he did. He remembered the long conversations, the drunken phone calls, the days trying to distract Van, especially after the show ended and Van started to lose track of Eric.
“Where is this all going?” Jake finally asked.
The blonde smiled and shook his head. “We’re figuring it out, I think. He came over last night and we talked about what happened, why he left…” Van stopped suddenly. As much as he shared with Jake, a part of him wanted to keep this to himself.
“I want you to be careful,” the brunette warned. “I like Eric, I do, and in a way I think it’s great that you’re getting this time, you’re getting this opportunity that…” He leaned over the table. “I know how much you wanted this before and it wasn’t right.” Jake couldn’t finish that thought; it wasn’t right because Eric was married. But a part of him wondered what was so different about now.
“There was a guy,” Van said, answering Jake’s unspoken question. “Eric was briefly interested in a guy. They sort of dated. He was…” the blonde stopped, gauging Jake’s reaction. “Eric and this guy, they didn’t go too far, because…” A smile tugged at his lips. “Because he wasn’t you!”
“Why?” Jake gently asked.
“Christopher, the guy,” Van replied. “He reminded Eric of me.”
Jake reeled back. This was definitely complicating matters. And in a way, he understood. When Jake had met his wife, Peyton, she was in a relationship. Jake felt an attraction almost immediately and thought maybe she did as well, but she was dating someone, a friend of his, actually, when they had met, and Jake knew not to cross any lines. Later, when Peyton and his friend broken up, Jake continued to maintain contact and eventually asked her out. He proposed six months later. It was all about the timing.
“And this is more than just you wanting to fulfill some fantasy?” Jake checked. He didn’t want Van to get hurt by Eric, but most of all he didn’t want Van to be hurt himself.
“In some ways he’s Eric, the Eric we knew, great actor, funny guy, and crazy about his kids. But in other ways, he’s Eric,” Van said and stopped, wishing he could find some way to describe all these things he felt when he was with their former co-star, the new attractions he felt. “He cares a lot, I mean, the moment I told him about my crush then, he wanted to help me. And Jake, God, and the way the man kisses-”
Jake held up his hand. “Yeah, I’m sure the earth moved,” he muttered.
Van chuckled. “I could kiss him for the rest of my life, and for now that has to be enough. I don’t want to push him, I don’t want him to freak out again, and if he does, I want to know. I guess that’s the thing-as much as I knew him, I want to know him again.”
Jake held back a sigh. He wanted Van to be happy, that wasn’t the problem-he just didn’t know where Eric was coming from all of that. “But, Van, I have to say again be careful. You were so hurt before,” Jake noted.
“It’s not like I have a choice here,” Van replied. “He’s already… I don’t have a choice.”
“Yeah, I felt that way about five minutes after meeting Peyton.”
Van smiled, so grateful that he had Jake to talk to, and more than that, that Jake understood.
“But if he breaks your heart, I’ll break his face,” Jake vowed. “I had to help you the last time you got hurt over him and he had no idea what he did. Now he does so…” The brunette crossed his arms over his chest.
Van chuckled softly, briefly recalling that Eric once told him that the day “Noah” had decked “Reid” was one of his most enjoyable scenes to film. The action element, Van supposed, but he also knew that, while Jake was protective, he wasn’t about to go up to a middle-aged man and deck him. It was nice to know his friend cared.
*
Terri hadn’t stopped squealing and Eric was a little concerned. He’d woken up and found a half dozen text messages from her, demanding to know what had happened between Van and him. He called her and said he would need coffee for this interrogation, and she agreed.
Once they sat down, he told her the events of the previous two evenings, trying to dance around the details. But she demanded to know everything.
“Why?” he sputtered and his face was flushed.
“Men like two women, women like two guys,” she said simply. “So go on. What exactly did you and Mr. Hansis do the other night?”
Eric’s face heated up even more.
“It was that good, hmm?” she asked, a ghost of a smile hovering near her coffee cup.
He nervously glanced from the left to the right. Of course no one was listening, but it would mean that Eric would have to admit again how he’d screwed up after… “Better,” he finally answered Terri’s question.
The squealing continued.
“Please stop!” he finally demanded and held up his hand.
She finally did when he had to detail his nervousness and his hasty retreat. Terri’s heart broke a little for Van and Eric. “Oh, gosh, you’re kind of an idiot, you know that right?” she asked. “You want Van, you have a crush on Van, you get him, and you run?”
“I know.”
“You’re an idiot.”
“I know,” he assured her.
“So what do you plan to do about it?” she asked. Terri didn’t want to continue berating Eric, but it took everything she had not to smack him across the head.
“We talked last night, I told Van about Christopher and I realized…”
Terri smiled gently. She had never met Christopher, all she knew was what Eric had told her, but a part of her couldn’t help but notice…
“He was like a pale imitation of Van,” Eric finished.
That’s what she had noticed. She reached over and patted his hand. “Okay, so now what? You have a crush on him; the feeling seems to be mutual. Where do you go from here?”
Eric leaned back in his chair for a moment. The conversation the previous evening had been difficult but necessary. And he couldn’t deny his attraction, though having rarely felt this way previously he was scared. “I think we’re dating,” he finally admitted.
“Maybe you should make sure,” she replied.
*
Eric raced into the rehearsal. His coffee date with Terri had run a little too long. Luckily for Eric, his character and Van’s weren’t going to be the focus until later in the day. But they weren’t going to be able to get into too much conversation. However, it didn’t stop them from sitting next to each other in the theater seats.
“So Mia asked if I was interested in going on a blind date with her, you and her brother,” Van said. He didn’t want to keep anything from Eric even if he didn’t intend to agree with Mia’s suggestion.
The redhead jumped. “Wh-what? Does she know-”
“That I date men? Yes,” Van offered and was a little gratified to see the jealousy in Eric’s eyes. “She wants to set me up with her brother.”
There is an us, Eric reminded himself, so why are we having this conversation? “Wh-what did you say to her?”
Van turned and looked at Eric. When he shifted, he lifted up his leg, so that his knee brushed against Eric’s. The redhead felt himself stiffen briefly. He felt like every nerve-ending was standing at attention and the anticipation was a little overwhelming. One knee graze and this is what he does to me? Eric questioned. What will it be like when we actually….
“…I mean I have to tell her no, right? But then I was wondering if she was interested in you and was this all an elaborate ruse to get you out on a date,” Van finished. Eric hadn’t moved or said anything for a couple of moments. “Eric?”
“Can I come over tonight?” the redhead questioned.
Van smiled and leaned in a little closer. He glanced around to make sure no one was looking. “Absolutely.”
The older man was momentarily caught in the smile. “Oh, I can’t,” he muttered. “I have the kids tonight.”
Van quickly jumped away as though he’d been hit. “Right.”
“Van, I want you to meet them again, I just…while we’re figuring it all out, can you give me some leeway with this?” It wasn’t that Eric wanted to keep his kids hidden from Van. Nate had indicated that he still wanted to meet Van again, and Eric wanted that too. And yet he had no idea how he was going to explain his relationship with Van when he still wasn’t sure what it was.
The younger man sat for a few moments, trying not to be hurt and looking at the situation as a parent. “We’re together, right?” he checked, but didn’t wait for a response. “We’re together and someday, soon I hope, I do want to meet Nate and Sarah again as the man you’re with. And, yeah, the prospect of being introduced as your…” This time he hesitated. “Boyfriend?”
Eric nodded his head in agreement. And when he smiled, Van felt his heart stop and then stutter on for a bit, it was the open-wide grin that Van rarely saw and loved, because of that. “Boyfriend,” he agreed.
“Being introduced as your boyfriend sounds scarily wonderful to me.”
The redhead smiled. “For me too.”
“Van, Eric! We need you on stage!” Neil called out and the rest of their time together was trying to work out Davis and Campbell’s complicated relationship, which seemed to pale in comparison to what Eric and Van were trying to figure out.
*
Van aimlessly wandered around his apartment. He was debating take-out or calling Jake. After their conversation that morning, Van wasn’t sure what more there was to discuss with Jake, besides dissecting each little moment and Van didn’t want to be that guy.
A knock on his door pulled Van out of his debate.
“Eric?” he greeted the redhead. “What about the kids?”
“Sarah has a massive project due tomorrow, and all of her research is at home.”
“And Nate?”
“Well, he offered to call you, actually, see if you wanted to get pizza,” Eric admitted. “I think he’s hoping for more comic books.”
Van chuckled and crossed his arms over his chest.
“But then his girlfriend called and wanted to go to a movie. Her mom is playing chaperone, so I suddenly found himself with a free night and I was thinking, date night?” Eric asked. When he realized he had bit his lip in nervous anticipation, he quickly let it escape. “Or friends night?”
Van reached out and took Eric’s hands in his, leading the older man further into the apartment. “Since you’re my boyfriend, I like the idea of date night. So I was thinking of ordering something, are you hungry?”
“Yeah,” Eric agreed, so grateful that he’d come over there.
The younger man led Eric into the kitchen. “So I have a ton of take-out menus,” Van noted, opening a drawer and a couple quickly escaped. He bent down, picked them up, and grabbed the rest. “Just tell me what you’re in the mood for. Thai, pizza, Indian? What do you want?” he offered an easy grin.
Eric found himself smiling in return. He loved that grin. “You,” he admitted. “I…I’ve been thinking about what you taste like.”
The menus slipped quickly out of Van’s hands, a slight whoosh as the multi-colored sheets fell into piles around Van’s feet. He moved toward Eric, his left foot sliding against some of the menus and he stumbled for a moment. “Wh-what?” he asked, hoping that if he stood closer, that he would somehow make what he’d heard true.
“I’m sorry,” the older man replied, trying to close some of the distance, as well.
“You don’t…” Van shook his head. He couldn’t believe he actually couldn’t say it.
“I do,” Eric assured him, and they were standing in front of each other. “I do, I just didn’t mean for it to sound like a line from a porn film.”
The blonde chuckled. “Okay. But if you ask the delivery man to stay, then I’ll be concerned.”
Eric’s smiled and reached for Van, cupping the younger man’s face in his hands. He pulled him close and kissed him. He couldn’t get over the easy way their mouths moved together, opened and closed, Eric went left and Van followed, noses brushing together, his hands tangling into the blonde locks. The younger man gasped and Eric’s tongue effortlessly slipped past those enticing lips.
Van’s hands came up, tugging at Eric’s shirt. The redhead regretfully let go of Van’s scalp to allow the younger man to tug off his shirt and he shivered slightly then the fingers danced down Eric’s sides, to the hem of his t-shirt. The redhead’s stomach muscles clinched in anticipation. He’d never felt this way before.
The younger man pulled away slightly. “Are you sure?” he asked.
“What?” Eric gasped, his eyes drawn to the blonde’s swollen lips.
“I thought we were going to be patient and wait,” Van said. It was the most difficult thing he’d ever said. But he didn’t want to lose Eric, not again. And a part of him couldn’t help but recall some of the last scenes Reid and Luke were in, talking about waiting, wanting to find the right moment. He’d thought it was ridiculous at the time, especially with how the writers decided to end the storyline, but Van didn’t want a heated quickie on his kitchen floor, either, especially since he didn’t know if Eric was going to run away again.
“Since that night on your couch, I’ve been thinking…” Eric took a deep breath. “Wondering actually…what it would be like to…” He took another deep breath. If he couldn’t say it, then he couldn’t…
Van’s hand came up, holding Eric’s cheek and neck; the blonde ducked his head a little until his haze eyes met Eric’s blue ones. “Tell me anything.”
“I’ve never…and I want to with you.”
“You’re going to have to be just a little bit more specific, Eric, cause I have an extensive imagination,” he said with a devilish grin and a quick flash of his dimples.
Despite himself, Eric smiled. “What if I’m horrible at blowjobs?”
“Not possible,” Van said solemnly.
“Van…” Eric tried to pull away, but the younger man wouldn’t let him go. “Van, I’m like a 44-year-old virgin here. You can’t, I mean, I don’t want to know all of your history, because how could I possibly measure up, but-”
“There’s no one to compete with,” Van assured him. “I don’t want you here scared, I just want you. We can still order take-out and watch reality TV, make-out like a couple of teenagers.”
Eric didn’t say anything for a few moments and then he took Van’s hand and led him into the living room. They walked over to the couch, the one neither one of them had been able to look at the previous evening, but now it was a welcome sight. They both sat down.
It took everything Van had not to say anything. He wasn’t going to push but let Eric decide how this evening was going to play out. As much as he wanted to test Eric’s fears, he was just grateful to have the redhead here. He had meant it earlier when he told Jake he could kiss Eric for the rest of his life. He’d want more, of course, but being with Eric, laughing with him, hearing the redhead talk about his kids, acting with him, Van rarely had been happier.
Eric reached for Van again and the blonde loved it when Eric initiated the kisses; a part of him was still hesitant, waiting for this dream to end. Sometimes Van thought he’d wake up and it would be six years ago, and he’d be heading into the studio, anxious to work with Eric, terrified about giving away his feelings, filling his nights with fantasies. Was this just another fantasy?
The older man held Van’s face in his hands, kissing him pulling away briefly his mouth hovering, breathing in Van’s heated gasp, before diving back in. Van kissed with enthusiasm and instinct, knowing exactly where Eric was going to go next and letting the redhead lead. They separated and Eric’s hand gently smacked against Van’s cheek for a moment. A familiar gesture and Van smiled, his eyes automatically drawn to Eric’s mouth.
“I’m not going anywhere,” Eric assured him and then his mouth crashed into Van’s again.
The blonde lost his balance. He sunk into the couch cushion, the weight of Eric’s body on his, their torsos meeting, hips aligned. The older man shifted his leg working between both of Van’s. Eric’s fingers moved nimbly, unbuttoning Van’s shirt, skimming and slipping down the blonde’s chest, trying to touch each patch of skin as it was exposed; his mouth was otherwise engaged or else it would have made the trek. Van gasped; Eric’s fingers were cool against his heated flesh, and the redhead pushed himself up.
“I’m okay,” Van promised. “Everything is okay.”
Eric nodded in response and he squeezed his thighs together, capturing Van’s right leg between his. The blonde panted, feeling Eric’s erection brush against his hip. Van had been concentrating so much on assuring Eric and letting him take control, he didn’t realize how quickly this had heated up for Eric as well.
While there was some space between them, Van quickly moved, his hands grabbing the waist of Eric’s jeans, and he undid the button, quickly pulling down the zipper.
“Van, I-” He swallowed thickly; the younger man’s hand had found his aching cock. “I was, um…”
The blonde grinned, the ghost of the devil on that perfect mouth. “Yeah?” Van questioned, his hand moved down and his thumb brushed against the head of Eric’s cock. “You were saying…?” He knew how nervous Eric was, but that didn’t mean Van didn’t want to have some fun and maybe helping Eric relax would lessen some of the tension.
The redhead’s hips moved, reaching up to allow Van further access. “I-I…” He swallowed and leaned down heavily, his torso pressing against Van’s, briefly trapping the younger man’s hand between their bodies. Van wasn’t about to be deterred though. He continued to move, unwavering sweeps up and down Eric’s cock. On one of the upward sweeps he paused for a moment, feeling Eric’s body completely still, rigid in anticipation of Van’s next move, and then the blonde reached for Eric’s balls, a few scrapes of his fingernails. Finally the older man’s body shook, his come splashing between the two of them, and Eric lay gasping on top of Van.
Slowly Eric rose up on his elbows, looking into Van’s eyes. “Why did you…?”
Before answering, Van brought his hand up to his mouth and he slowly licked Eric’s come. “You know why,” Van told him.
Leaning down again, Eric kissed Van, tasting himself on the blonde’s lips. It was a little awkward, mostly, because Eric wanted to taste Van. He felt the younger man shudder against him and he was brought back to his original goal. Eric moved, his lips dragging across Van’s mouth to his cheek and neck. The blonde shuddered again as Eric nipped at his shoulder. He held himself for a moment, a quick bite, and then Eric’s tongue darted out to lessen the pain.
“Eric,” Van gasped. His hands came up, his fingers holding the redhead’s scalp. Van briefly wondered if he’d lied earlier about being able to kiss Eric forever; he’d been magnetically drawn to the older man’s red curls almost from the moment they met, always wanting to touch them, feeling the silky threads between his fingers, guiding him…
The redhead moved, following the trail his fingers had done earlier, a kiss here, a nip there. The younger man’s stomach contracted against Eric’s mouth, he found himself wanting to follow the sinking muscles, and then his tongue darted out, finding some of his come. Another reminder of his goal his hands found the waist of Van’s pants, mimicking the other man’s actions from earlier, a quick flick of the button, and then the zipper was undone.
Reluctantly, Eric pulled away, sitting back on his haunches and tugging on Van’s pants, pulling them and the blonde’s underwear down. The younger man lifted his hips, helping Eric along.
Their eyes met for a moment, and Van briefly nodded his head. Eric returned the gesture and then looked down. He felt the air leave his body. He’d seen Van’s cock the other night and his reaction was just as strong. He imagined so many things and now he would…
His gaze was locked on the thick vein underneath and Eric leaned down, taking in the musky smell of Van. Eric briefly wondered why he wasn’t hesitating and why he was becoming hard again. The blonde moved, a shudder of anticipation wracking his body. Van tried to stay still, to let Eric guide the next action, but he wanted….he needed…something.
And there it was.
Eric’s tongue ran up the underside of Van’s cock and the blonde almost came right then and there. Closing his eyes, because the sensations were so overwhelming and he wanted to make this moment last, the redhead went back for another taste. It took every inch of Van’s will power not to move, and Eric blindly reached out, his palm holding Van’s jerking hip in place as he continued to lick up one side and then the other of Van’s cock. Finally, finally, he pressed a gentle kiss to the tip, tasting Van’s come.
The redhead’s eyes flew open, the glistening almost blinding him and he dove in for another taste, it wasn’t like anything he’d ever experienced. Yes, he’d briefly tasted himself on Van’s lips, but this was about Van; everything was going to be about Van from now on, Eric realized, and with his free hand formed a fist at the base of the blonde’s cock, afraid that if he tried to go too far, Eric would gag, and the embarrassment would completely crush him.
He continued to suck and lick up and down Van’s shaft, sometimes slowly savoring each moment, other times moving quickly, afraid that he was doing something wrong. Van’s pants and gasps led Eric to assume that he was doing it right, but his nerves were still with him.
Van couldn’t help but move beneath him, trying to stay still, but he felt himself getting so close. His right hand was gripping tightly onto the back of the couch and his left one was demanding he take Eric’s scalp in his palm. But it was getting to be too much; the tortured bliss was driving him over the edge. “E-e-eric…”
Either he didn’t hear him or he didn’t care, because the redhead continued to move down Van’s cock; he hollowed his cheeks, the suction adding to the pleasure.
“Eric!” Van tried again, and the redhead hummed in response, the sensation going straight to Van’s balls, and he didn’t know how much longer he would last. “I’m gonna come!” he warned.
The redhead continued bob up and down, and then his hand squeezed Van’s cock for a moment and before pulling off with one final kiss, pushing Van over the edge completely using his hands. Some of the blonde’s come splashed all over Eric’s t-shirt, but he didn’t care, just continued to hold Van in his hand, slowing down his movements, up down, his hand gliding across Van’s cock, using some of the come to make the movement easier, not ready to let go.
The blonde’s back had bowed up when he came and then crashed back into the couch cushions, panting heavily, feeling the shattered pieces of his soul try to realign themselves. Just when he was starting to get the pieces to touch, to fuse together again, he felt that mouth of Eric’s, the teasing, beautiful lips as they went back to work on Van’s chest, kissing him, licking some of his come.
Then the older man quickly tugged off his t-shirt, tossing it aside and settling back down, his body making itself right with Van’s, torsos sticking together, hips aligned, his legs resting gently between Van’s. Eric’s head rested in the crook of Van’s neck, his lips pressed into the blonde’s skin.
“What were you worried about again?” Van questioned breathlessly, his vocal cords making Eric’s lips vibrate.
Eric smiled into Van’s body. “So it was…”
“I told you were you were a natural,” Van reminded him. His right hand came up, seeking the place he adored, holding Eric, playing with some of the hair, carding his fingers through the redhead’s curls.
Eric’s hand slid across Van’s torso, another kiss against his neck, and his hand tucking down underneath Van’s back. “No, it’s you, you make me want…everything,” he murmured. He felt like there was more to say, but his eyes felt heavy.
“I want it too,” Van whispered, before sleep claimed him as well.
*
Van was actually starting to hate coming into work. Some of the scenes were fun and silly, Reid and Luke were in love; they hadn’t said it yet, but they both knew. But today the show would end on a bittersweet note. They were supposed to celebrate Reid’s doing well on his goal for Chief of Staff; instead Noah’s name comes up and Reid has to help Chris.
And of course, there was another kiss.
The blonde derived some sort of sick pleasure out of the kisses. He wanted to savor the moments, all in the name of “acting.” While the cast and crew, lighting and microphones were a giveaway in his scenes with Eric, that it was pretend and they were acting, it really felt like just Reid and Luke.
Van was sitting his dressing room, going over the script, waiting for Eric. He knew the redhead would find his way to Van and rehearse when he got the chance. Since they were actually sharing very few scenes today, the younger man knew Eric would be with Terri or Danny, going over lines, getting everything right. They loved to rehearse almost as much as Eric did.
The blonde smiled to himself, but he hated thinking about the last scene. He just hoped that Eric wouldn’t come in demanding to know why they weren’t having sex again. He’d barely made it through that last conversation with his sanity intact. The redhead couldn’t say things like that to Van, not when his nights and thoughts were clouded with answering that very question.
Today, Luke would initiate the kiss, and Van’s smile deepened and he gently tapped his left hand against his thigh, the fingers itching to be in Eric’s hair, holding his scalp. They seemed to have that movement choreographed perfect as of late. Whenever one of them initiated the kiss, they got to hold the other’s face, Eric always punctuated the moment with a gentle smack at the end. Van briefly wondered if he did that when he kissed everyone.
With a shake of his head, he was pulled out of his thoughts, finding Eric standing above him. “What are you thinking about?” the older man questioned.
“Hair,” Van answered distractedly and tried to take the words back almost immediately.
Eric plopped down next to the younger man. “The musical or someone’s in particular?” he asked quizzically. He really liked working with Van, he committed himself so much, but in the down time, it was fun just to talk about the random things that popped up in the younger man’s mind. Eric would miss that and briefly wondered if he’d get emails about these very things in the future.
Despite himself, Van smiled. “No, I was just noticing, you have curly hair.” His hand was resting on the back of the couch it briefly bounced up, wanting to test his theory, instead of waiting for confirmation from Eric. But then the knowledge that his desires couldn’t be fulfilled and his hand smacked back down. “It was so short when we started working together and… I’m sure I noticed it then…” His voice trailed off. He really did need to find a way not to voice every thought in his head, especially when he was trying to keep them hidden. “Stupid, I’m sure.”
“No.” Eric smiled. “Yours was too long. I’d find myself staring through your eyes, trying to remember a line and I’d see this clump of hair instead.”
“Yeah.” Van chuckled in agreement. “Funny that Luke’s hair is getting shorter while Reid’s is getting longer.” He honestly didn’t know where this random conversation was going and thought it would be best to focus on work again. “So ready for your scenes with Danny?”
“Yeah, practiced the injection and everything.” The redhead sighed, not wanting to voice his frustration, but a part of him wondered how Van acted out some of these scenarios all these years and yet still brought such enthusiasm to them.
“The one step forward and two steps back…” Van said, briefly looking around for a pillow, something to hold, so he wouldn’t reach for Eric. “The injection - guess that’s the most action Reid’s going to get today. At least Danny’s got a nice ass.”
The redhead turned surprised eyes on his co-star. “Wh-what?” he sputtered.
Van hesitated for a moment. Maybe he shouldn’t have said anything. “You haven’t noticed?” he asked, his voice rising slightly.
It was on the tip of Eric’s tongue to ask if Van liked it better than his own and then the redhead shook his head. This was the last place he’d ever expected to have a conversation like that, and actually, he realized, he never expected ever to have a conversation like that. Only with Van, would this happen, Eric knew. But the thing that annoyed him the most was another missed opportunity for Reid and Luke. Luke actually appeared interested and Reid wasn’t…
“You’re used to the linear with plays, right?” Van’s voice cut through Eric’s thoughts and the redhead questioned how the younger man could read his thoughts. “Beginning, middle, end.”
“Yeah,” Eric replied. “Oh, speaking of hair, I have to keep growing mine.” He wasn’t sure why he was talking about this, but voicing his frustrations about the lack of sex in the relationship between Luke and Reid sometimes made Van uncomfortable, and he didn’t know if his co-star didn’t like love scenes in general or hated the idea of sharing one with him.
“Why?” Van questioned, and thought that he would, just this once, be allowed to let his gaze linger on Eric’s red curls.
“A couple of friends of mine and I are doing a movie in September. They’ve got a script and we all have a small window between projects. I play a divorced semi-alcoholic. So I was informed to let my hair grow long and not to shave.” He finished with a nervous chuckle. He and Van had talked about Van’s movie; a lot of the process seemed to make the younger man so excited. Eric assumed Van would be curious about this film too.
Van smiled, but it quickly faded, they would be done filming in less than a month. September seemed so far away and yet he had to ask, “We’ll still be in touch, right? You’ll send me pictures of you with the crazy hair. We’ll still…” The idea of them not still being in each other’s lives was too much.
“Absolutely,” Eric vowed. “I’m not going anywhere.
-------------------------------------------------
Eric is back and most definitely in this relationship. The boys have a few more chapters to figure it all out. So second time attempting NC-17, be gentle with me. Thank you. ~Ali
Onto Chapter Thirteen...