(no subject)
I've had some stuff on my mind lately that I can't shake. So maybe if I write it I can deal with it better.
My Future. What a bold word. Future. So what am I supposed to do with it? Everyone wants the decision to rest on my shoulders. "I'm smart and I will do the right thing." But what I decides doesn't affect just me. So why should I have to make the decision alone? This calls for a leap of faith. But it scares me. Anytime someone mentions grad school I burst into tears. What am I supposed to do? Where is God leading me? To Grad School? A Job? Marriage?
My Friends. I would love to be all things to all people at all times. But I just can't do it. Perhaps my priorities are out of whack. Perhaps they are in whack. I do feel remorse that I can't be close to every friend in my life. But people grow apart. People move onto different things. I am at a different point in my life than some of my friends. Some have moved on without me. Life just goes that way I guess. It's not on purpose and I don't try to block people out to be mean. I don't punish people for moving on with their lives, so why do I have to feel wrong about going on with mine?
People come and go. But they all change you. In a big way or small way. And the time they spend with you is what's important. I look back in old yearbooks and diaries and think about how my circle of friends has changed over the years. They are all different but they all were meant to be there. At that time. And God had a plan for that.
My Faith. I'm only saying this because I know not many people will read it. I'm not a condemning person. But I have to get it out. God has really convicted my heart about Lent. It's not a time to think about my suffering because I gave something up for 40 days. It hurts my heart that people only think of Lent as a time to give something up and then reflect on how great you are for doing it. It's a sacrifice... and a very small one at that. My own parents didn't know what I had given up until tonight. I'm not placing myself on a pedistal. It wasn't until this year that God really humbled my heart about it. But I realized that Lent is a time for prayer. A time to examine the brutal sacrifice the Lord gave for us.
Has someone ever given you a gift when you didn't even ask for it? A bouqet of flowers? A homecooked meal? A surprise gift in the mail?
Think about how exciting and fun that is!
Now think about the Lord. Hanging on the cross. Giving His life. When you didn't even ask for it.
So don't worry about giving up your chocolate or pizza. That is soooo small in comparison. Don't get me wrong. It's important. But the point is to get something that you place a lot of importance on out of the way so you can focus more on prayer.
Let's use the rest of Lent to get our priorities straight.
Well I will step down for my soap box.
My Future. What a bold word. Future. So what am I supposed to do with it? Everyone wants the decision to rest on my shoulders. "I'm smart and I will do the right thing." But what I decides doesn't affect just me. So why should I have to make the decision alone? This calls for a leap of faith. But it scares me. Anytime someone mentions grad school I burst into tears. What am I supposed to do? Where is God leading me? To Grad School? A Job? Marriage?
My Friends. I would love to be all things to all people at all times. But I just can't do it. Perhaps my priorities are out of whack. Perhaps they are in whack. I do feel remorse that I can't be close to every friend in my life. But people grow apart. People move onto different things. I am at a different point in my life than some of my friends. Some have moved on without me. Life just goes that way I guess. It's not on purpose and I don't try to block people out to be mean. I don't punish people for moving on with their lives, so why do I have to feel wrong about going on with mine?
People come and go. But they all change you. In a big way or small way. And the time they spend with you is what's important. I look back in old yearbooks and diaries and think about how my circle of friends has changed over the years. They are all different but they all were meant to be there. At that time. And God had a plan for that.
My Faith. I'm only saying this because I know not many people will read it. I'm not a condemning person. But I have to get it out. God has really convicted my heart about Lent. It's not a time to think about my suffering because I gave something up for 40 days. It hurts my heart that people only think of Lent as a time to give something up and then reflect on how great you are for doing it. It's a sacrifice... and a very small one at that. My own parents didn't know what I had given up until tonight. I'm not placing myself on a pedistal. It wasn't until this year that God really humbled my heart about it. But I realized that Lent is a time for prayer. A time to examine the brutal sacrifice the Lord gave for us.
Has someone ever given you a gift when you didn't even ask for it? A bouqet of flowers? A homecooked meal? A surprise gift in the mail?
Think about how exciting and fun that is!
Now think about the Lord. Hanging on the cross. Giving His life. When you didn't even ask for it.
So don't worry about giving up your chocolate or pizza. That is soooo small in comparison. Don't get me wrong. It's important. But the point is to get something that you place a lot of importance on out of the way so you can focus more on prayer.
Let's use the rest of Lent to get our priorities straight.
Well I will step down for my soap box.