worst mistake
allright.crusie was good.everything was good after that i really needed that vacation- i moved on from kevin....=)
but then it was on to nick. and this is a long story so i'm going to make it short.
i liked nick. i hung out with nick...and alex,dom, pete, becca and becca. (hahah we got introubel by the cops that night for being too loud in beccas dads house when he wasnt home and went back to petes...) so alex next day is asking me if i like nick. i say yes- alex tells nick which i didn't want him to do. sex issue comes up. i won't do it- so i'm under the impression that's all he wants. nick and alex come over askingf me about it- i don't say anything. me and nick talk later that night- he lieks me, but just got out of a relationship...which i totally understand- but then things started happening things were moving too fast- caitie liked him -i was mad. i started getting jealous of everything. i talk to nick. i take things the wrong way and next day i am so upset- he talks to me tells me he likes me- i'm so happy- next day idk WHYY but i decided to say that i think he's using me bc all he talks about is hooking up- so i mean i think i had a reason to think that- and idk i just got soo caught up and then i thought he was using me so i was hurt! but i'm an idiot because EVERYONE told me that he wasn't using me. and i still beleived it. and i'm so stupid because i regret it so much now. that night we got in a fight and his away message wassss
"i woke up in the middle of the night when i noticed my girl wasn't bym y side. could have sworn i was dreamin for her i was screamin so i had to take a look around back trackin these few years tryin to figure out what i can do to make it go back cuz ever ince my girl left me my whole life came crashin down."
so now i really felt like an ass.
and then the next day my mom foundd my conversation adn wasn't very happy and she was like saying that i can't hang out with him omg i lost it!! i was hysterical. i could barely talk. i was just...crying. so my mom felt bad and was like you can hang out with him but i want you to be just friend and i was like ughhh..and of course when i cry i think about everything thats bad and then i cry a lot more- and i was so upset and then my mom was like why are you crying so hard, do you want to be with him? and i like broke down and like whispered "yes" and it was just tears from there.
soo last night i went to pams house with becca danielle and brittany libutti- it was soo funnn- we went to CHEESEBURGER IN PARADISE- omg the coolest place ever. ahahaha. we were like dancing and crap and being stupidd- you know- we saw steeve from rosmarins! yaaah... me and becca called nick to ask him something about sean and umm he was being really nice to me then out of nowhere was like ID ONT CARE and i was like why are you yelling at me =( and idk it made me like hmm=/ w/e but i had fun so ef that. ahahaha then we went back to pams and watched hwo to lose a guy in 10 days- that movie makes me jealous. hahaha i was on the phoen with becca odze 0=) ahahaha.. oh yes and we enjoyed a bottle of bacardi that's always great! but we were tired so we only drank a litle. when the movie was over we jsut talked.. it was nice. and went to bed. then my sister picked me and becca up and we went to the diner and now i feel like a fatty andddd i'm going to danielles tonight wiiith becca, sean, blake and petey..and prob more people idk. !! i want nick to go but i think he would get mad if i asked him too..and hes going to atlantic city soo.. yeah. w/e its my fault .
you don't know what you've got til it's gone.