Another one bites the dust

[graciejean81]

I finally did it. After 5 years of swooning over Mike I finally told him. And I was shot down. Ouch. I wish I had done it sooner instead of thinking about him for 5 years. You may remember in an entry long ago (end of January) that Mike suddenly called me and wanted to hang out completely out of the blue. We went to dinner, had a fantastic time, and he said he wanted to go get Starbucks sometime soon. And that was really the last time I heard from him. So, by God's providence I was in Orange County on Sunday. My friend Dena flew in to visit her brother Nick who lives with Mike. She invited me to hang out with them for a couple days and I knew that this was the time that I finally needed to know once and for all. I did not want to go on hoping for someone who just is not into me. I have wanted to end this heart's desire once and for all and I knew the only way to do it would be to just tell him and get it over with. As it turned out, there wasn't much of an opportunity to talk to him because he was busy with school and work or there were always other people around. So, let me paint a picture for you. It's my last night there and I planned on leaving early in the morning. So, it was going to have to be sometime that night. We (Nick, Lindsey, Dena, Mike, and myself) stayed up late watching a couple movies and finally the number dwindled down to me and the boys. I did not want to say anything with anyone around. Mike went to go to bed and I thought my moment was over. I knew that if I didn't do it I would leave incredibly frustrated. Five minutes later the movie was over and Nick went off to bed (the average person falls asleep in 7 minutes so I was hoping Mike would still be awake). Oh, and let me preface by saying that I went into this whole thing with major prayer. I just wanted God's will in this entire situation. I paced around the livingroom for a minute, prayed that God would give me the strength and I swear that God carried me from there. I knocked on Mike's door and luckily he was still awake. Thank God it was dark in there because it made it that much easier to be so vulnerable. He was lying in bed and I said I wanted to talk to him. I sat on the edge of the bed beside him and just immediately went into exactly what I waanted to say without beating around the bush. Basically, it went something like this:

(hold on...class is over and I will have to finish this entry later)...