(no subject)
I wrote this on April 22, 2009 - but never publically posted it. I was trying to just WRITE, and this is what came out. What do I have to lose?
_____________________________________________________
I'm writing without writing, really
who knows how this will turn out
it makes me happy when Captain head butts me
and when Leo cuddles with me in the mornings
I love when it's bedtime and Leo knows what that means:
hair tie throwing time
I guess this entry is a start. I'm writing again.
Nick is out with Chris for his birthday and I'm home.
I'm home and I'm happy.
I'm so tired though.
Tomorrow is the gyno appointment.
I hate going to the gyno.
Captain is cuddling on my lap and keeping me warm and cozy.
I'm falling asleep but want to stay awake.
I love the feeling listening to Going To California gives me.
There's no way Captain is comfortable. Somehow, he fits.
I love happy times and I love memories.
I love memories and I wish I could make them real.
I love day dreaming about the past and wishing and wondering and
idealizing
how things were
and the what ifs and the decisions that were made
and the whys and hows.
young and stupid decisions still linger far after they are made
letting go
breathe
breathe
breathe
I looked back on my ptyrochromis journal entries today
and looked back at my old graciee2 entries from seven years ago
I wish I could write like that again
I wish I could turn back time to enjoy those memories one more time
I am so happy though
Happiness is an understatement.
He's too good for me.
I say, "I'm so spoiled."
He says, "I need to spoil you more"
He is the most honest genuine compassionate wonderful person I have ever met.
He truly wants to make me the happiest girl in the world. I am so unbelievably luck to have found him.
It's crazy to hear The Cranberries - Zombie come on Pandora. It reminds me of middle school times.
This is all I can muster up tonight. It's a good start back into writing.
_____________________________________________________
I'm writing without writing, really
who knows how this will turn out
it makes me happy when Captain head butts me
and when Leo cuddles with me in the mornings
I love when it's bedtime and Leo knows what that means:
hair tie throwing time
I guess this entry is a start. I'm writing again.
Nick is out with Chris for his birthday and I'm home.
I'm home and I'm happy.
I'm so tired though.
Tomorrow is the gyno appointment.
I hate going to the gyno.
Captain is cuddling on my lap and keeping me warm and cozy.
I'm falling asleep but want to stay awake.
I love the feeling listening to Going To California gives me.
There's no way Captain is comfortable. Somehow, he fits.
I love happy times and I love memories.
I love memories and I wish I could make them real.
I love day dreaming about the past and wishing and wondering and
idealizing
how things were
and the what ifs and the decisions that were made
and the whys and hows.
young and stupid decisions still linger far after they are made
letting go
breathe
breathe
breathe
I looked back on my ptyrochromis journal entries today
and looked back at my old graciee2 entries from seven years ago
I wish I could write like that again
I wish I could turn back time to enjoy those memories one more time
I am so happy though
Happiness is an understatement.
He's too good for me.
I say, "I'm so spoiled."
He says, "I need to spoil you more"
He is the most honest genuine compassionate wonderful person I have ever met.
He truly wants to make me the happiest girl in the world. I am so unbelievably luck to have found him.
It's crazy to hear The Cranberries - Zombie come on Pandora. It reminds me of middle school times.
This is all I can muster up tonight. It's a good start back into writing.