I'm Losing Control
It's really sad the way things happened...I wish that they did not change at all...*sigh* But I know that it's impossible.
It's one of the days when you would just remember something...A place. A person. A feeling. Something will just show up to remind you of the things which you deny. And I'll admit it really hurts. You'll just have to cry it out.
Every tear has its own identity. Could you count your tears when you cry? Could you name them all? *sigh*
I don't know exactly what happened but I cried. Maybe it's because of Waltz? Uh! The lines reminds me of someone...I know how it must have felt...Maybe it's because of the moon? Yeah right...blame it to the stars, too!!! Or maybe it's because of the way this particular guy looked at me and sang a Tagalog song ^hindi ko na maalala title^? I don't like the way his concerned eyes looked at me. It's the one that triggered me to go upstairs and cry my heart out!
I need someone to show me how it is to be cared of. But at the same time, I'm afraid ot it. I need someone who'll always be there and show real concern. I don't need a drug-like person. Once it's done, it's over.
When he looked at me...I saw something there. And that's what I don't want to remember! I don't want to remember that I need someone to care for me! Shit! And another shit!
How can you deny something that makes you complete?! How could I be so stupid?! Stupid...Yes...I'm stupid!
I need a shoulder to lean on. But my friends aren't here. And I can't tell my brother about this because it's a girl thing! He won't understand that! Why do I have to have such girly behaviors?!
Is there someone out there who's gonna tell me "everything's gonna be alright"? *sigh* I'm always the one saying that line to my friends when they got problems. They always run to me for help. But I can't run to them to ask for help. Now I know it's hard to save the world! Heck! I couldn't even manage to save myself!!!!
I'm considering suicide already. I've done so much in my 17 and a half years in this world. But hey! I don't wanna die a virgin! :grin: And I also got to see my children first! I want to grow old with someone who cares for me. I don't want to end my life without getting to know more about my crush! *dies*
Love...hate...and hurt...then hurt...hate...and love! It's always the same. No matter what I do, I always fall to love. Though I've never been in love. *sigh*
"SORRY BOYS! NO TIME FOR LOVE!"
But I don't want to end this now. I don't want to close any doors. I just want to be left alone in my own little corner. I don't want to see people...I don't want to hear anything at all! I don't want to talk either...
Oh shit! I'm returning to that little corner where a kid used to hide from the rest of the world. Just hide and be...Be. Live and let live. I know it's only the beginning. But the beginning is always the end of something you must have loved so much for you to hate it, too.
It's one of the days when you would just remember something...A place. A person. A feeling. Something will just show up to remind you of the things which you deny. And I'll admit it really hurts. You'll just have to cry it out.
Every tear has its own identity. Could you count your tears when you cry? Could you name them all? *sigh*
I don't know exactly what happened but I cried. Maybe it's because of Waltz? Uh! The lines reminds me of someone...I know how it must have felt...Maybe it's because of the moon? Yeah right...blame it to the stars, too!!! Or maybe it's because of the way this particular guy looked at me and sang a Tagalog song ^hindi ko na maalala title^? I don't like the way his concerned eyes looked at me. It's the one that triggered me to go upstairs and cry my heart out!
I need someone to show me how it is to be cared of. But at the same time, I'm afraid ot it. I need someone who'll always be there and show real concern. I don't need a drug-like person. Once it's done, it's over.
When he looked at me...I saw something there. And that's what I don't want to remember! I don't want to remember that I need someone to care for me! Shit! And another shit!
How can you deny something that makes you complete?! How could I be so stupid?! Stupid...Yes...I'm stupid!
I need a shoulder to lean on. But my friends aren't here. And I can't tell my brother about this because it's a girl thing! He won't understand that! Why do I have to have such girly behaviors?!
Is there someone out there who's gonna tell me "everything's gonna be alright"? *sigh* I'm always the one saying that line to my friends when they got problems. They always run to me for help. But I can't run to them to ask for help. Now I know it's hard to save the world! Heck! I couldn't even manage to save myself!!!!
I'm considering suicide already. I've done so much in my 17 and a half years in this world. But hey! I don't wanna die a virgin! :grin: And I also got to see my children first! I want to grow old with someone who cares for me. I don't want to end my life without getting to know more about my crush! *dies*
Love...hate...and hurt...then hurt...hate...and love! It's always the same. No matter what I do, I always fall to love. Though I've never been in love. *sigh*
"SORRY BOYS! NO TIME FOR LOVE!"
But I don't want to end this now. I don't want to close any doors. I just want to be left alone in my own little corner. I don't want to see people...I don't want to hear anything at all! I don't want to talk either...
Oh shit! I'm returning to that little corner where a kid used to hide from the rest of the world. Just hide and be...Be. Live and let live. I know it's only the beginning. But the beginning is always the end of something you must have loved so much for you to hate it, too.