10 years after a relationship update
The 10 year thing was fun to glance through, first thing I noticed was all the comments and how many of those friends are no longer here. I felt invested in their lives and now ... gone.
This was 10 years ago today, Ky and I had known each other for two months.
"Attributes:
He's vivacious (alive with possibilities)
Socially conscious (environmentally attuned, politically balanced (further left than I [which is a good thing!])
A bit of an intellectual hippie (stereotypical university professor of the 60s)
I appreciate his easy manner (his unhurried gait, comfortableness in his body, slow to speak and chooses his words carefully)
Understands and LIVES the philosophy of Buddhism (I'm learning so much)
Kind hearted to all humans and a lover of cats (especially mine)
Not shy about being physical ("My god, Deb, he can't keep his hands off of you!")
Not religious about his nutritional concerns (together we're discovering new ways of cooking and eating, but still drink wine and eat chocolate)
He doesn't own a TV (I despise the banter of television. I think it would be near deal-braker for me)
Loves his job. Loves his ex-wife. Loves his previous girl-friend (rarely he'll find himself criticizing them, but when he does, he allows those words to fall to the floor quickly and then easily dismisses them. He doesn't harbor bitterness. It's not his nature)
His knowledge of trains is icing. Very early on in the relationship when we both realized something powerfully enticing was building between us, he said, "it's not just the trains. Or the dancing." Those two mutual interests would never sustain a healthy relationship. Valentines day is coming up and we're headed to Railtown for the weekend, "one of America's last intact, still-operating railroad roundhouse." Mutual interests ARE a Good Thing, however.
We sort of had our first argument. I was washing dishes at his house (when we're at his place, he cooks and I wash dishes. At my house, I cook and he washes dishes) and he started to instruct me on how to place dishes in the drying rack. I stopped and looked at him and said "I think I know how to wash dishes, I've been doing it for over 45 years. And it's okay to do dishes a different way than what you're accustomed to." Without much hesitation, he replied, "and it's okay for you to remind me. Thank you." Yea .. I know, not much potential conflict there, but still ... the concern and love we have for each other are going to be a huge asset when it really does hit the fan.
He’s inviting me into much more of his decision makings, (which are now our decision makings) everything from which cheeses should we buy, to character behaviors we deem important to build into his son. Who, by the way, adds a dimension to this relationship that is quite an eye-opener for me. His eight-year-old son is a doll, whom I love dearly, but my goodness ….he’s rambunctious! He crawls into bed with us in the morning with a severe case of the wiggles it makes me laugh and shake my head every time. The boy only stops moving when he’s 1.) being read to or 2.) sleeping. Constant movement. Constantly.
I’m learning not to think of my age as a hindrance to this boy’s future but rather as an asset. Maturity is a positive attribute for any parent to maintain.
Of course, maturity is relative, right?
"
This was 10 years ago today, Ky and I had known each other for two months.
"Attributes:
He's vivacious (alive with possibilities)
Socially conscious (environmentally attuned, politically balanced (further left than I [which is a good thing!])
A bit of an intellectual hippie (stereotypical university professor of the 60s)
I appreciate his easy manner (his unhurried gait, comfortableness in his body, slow to speak and chooses his words carefully)
Understands and LIVES the philosophy of Buddhism (I'm learning so much)
Kind hearted to all humans and a lover of cats (especially mine)
Not shy about being physical ("My god, Deb, he can't keep his hands off of you!")
Not religious about his nutritional concerns (together we're discovering new ways of cooking and eating, but still drink wine and eat chocolate)
He doesn't own a TV (I despise the banter of television. I think it would be near deal-braker for me)
Loves his job. Loves his ex-wife. Loves his previous girl-friend (rarely he'll find himself criticizing them, but when he does, he allows those words to fall to the floor quickly and then easily dismisses them. He doesn't harbor bitterness. It's not his nature)
His knowledge of trains is icing. Very early on in the relationship when we both realized something powerfully enticing was building between us, he said, "it's not just the trains. Or the dancing." Those two mutual interests would never sustain a healthy relationship. Valentines day is coming up and we're headed to Railtown for the weekend, "one of America's last intact, still-operating railroad roundhouse." Mutual interests ARE a Good Thing, however.
We sort of had our first argument. I was washing dishes at his house (when we're at his place, he cooks and I wash dishes. At my house, I cook and he washes dishes) and he started to instruct me on how to place dishes in the drying rack. I stopped and looked at him and said "I think I know how to wash dishes, I've been doing it for over 45 years. And it's okay to do dishes a different way than what you're accustomed to." Without much hesitation, he replied, "and it's okay for you to remind me. Thank you." Yea .. I know, not much potential conflict there, but still ... the concern and love we have for each other are going to be a huge asset when it really does hit the fan.
He’s inviting me into much more of his decision makings, (which are now our decision makings) everything from which cheeses should we buy, to character behaviors we deem important to build into his son. Who, by the way, adds a dimension to this relationship that is quite an eye-opener for me. His eight-year-old son is a doll, whom I love dearly, but my goodness ….he’s rambunctious! He crawls into bed with us in the morning with a severe case of the wiggles it makes me laugh and shake my head every time. The boy only stops moving when he’s 1.) being read to or 2.) sleeping. Constant movement. Constantly.
I’m learning not to think of my age as a hindrance to this boy’s future but rather as an asset. Maturity is a positive attribute for any parent to maintain.
Of course, maturity is relative, right?
"