A Non-Material Girl Stuck in a Material World!
I was reading through a friends note over on good old facebook, and after reading it I couldn't help but feel that she had a point. As a matter of fact she had a point about something that has been bugging me for a while now.
Through all the planning and such that I have started doing due to my pending marriage, I have found my self becoming very saddened time and time again. You see what I have noticed is this, We are surrounded by a world that is so horrendously materialistic that the true importance in everything has been lost by all. Too much importance is put on finding THE DRESS, THE RING, THE FLOWERS, THE PLACE, and well, THE everything. You go into a shop or anywhere and you mention that you are planing your wedding you can't help but be bombarded by the instant flood of all these "tiny but yet, oh so important details" you must decide upon. So many couples fall into the trap of buying in to this belief that your wedding is some big giant party that has to out do everyone around you to have any meaning. That the wedding will be ruined without certain flowers, or a certain dress. I am sorry, if you are so materialistic that you feel that your wedding day won't be a wedding day with out all of these "Vital details" just so, haven't you already missed the point? One fabulous example of this is the process of getting engagement rings.
Why is the idea that this rock that is about to be placed on your finger must be this huge grandeouos oversized, over-the-top creation, and if it's not apparently it screams "I don't truly love you". It is truly sad. When we first started talking of getting engaged Jon informed me that he had been told by a girl in a previous relationship that if a guy doesn't give the girl AT LEAST 2 Karats it is clearly apparent that the guy must not truly love her. THe sad thing about this is... This sick view point had been impressed upon Jon in such a way that he was convinced that even I held this same twisted line of thinking. He was convinced that I would be unsatisfied with anything less then this huge lump of rock so large that when on my finger there would be concern about poking someones eye out with it.
In life, decisions like this should never be made based off of how large any object is. It's not about the money or the party or anything like that. An engagement and wedding is souly about A man and a woman coming together in front of God and making the commitment to each other to stand by one another for the long hall. For better AND for worse. As I said to Jon when he asked about the importance of a 2K ring, "Shower me with your LOVE, NOT your money!"
I keep getting the impression that my family expects me to want some big huge grand wedding that is more about the party than anything else. Its like they feel that they are punishing me in some way by not throwing money out in every direction for the wedding. Its like they expect me to feel so devastated that they aren't throwing me some big extravagant party like my uncle did for my cousins. And no matter how much I try to get them to tell them that, in actuality that is really the last thing I would want for my wedding, they don't appear to believe me. Which in some ways makes me feel better about the fact that they aren't willing to help me plan my wedding. Because this way, I can be assured that my wedding will be exactly as how I want it. Simple.n It will be nice. we will all have a good time, but the focus of the wedding will be on God and the commitment that Jon and I are joining together to make to each other. We will laugh, dance, eat, and be merry, But most importantly we will come together and worship the Lord and creator as we unite together as one.
Weddings aren't about the party. They are about the commitment. The commitment that two people to unite as one for life. And the sooner that people remember that the better.
Through all the planning and such that I have started doing due to my pending marriage, I have found my self becoming very saddened time and time again. You see what I have noticed is this, We are surrounded by a world that is so horrendously materialistic that the true importance in everything has been lost by all. Too much importance is put on finding THE DRESS, THE RING, THE FLOWERS, THE PLACE, and well, THE everything. You go into a shop or anywhere and you mention that you are planing your wedding you can't help but be bombarded by the instant flood of all these "tiny but yet, oh so important details" you must decide upon. So many couples fall into the trap of buying in to this belief that your wedding is some big giant party that has to out do everyone around you to have any meaning. That the wedding will be ruined without certain flowers, or a certain dress. I am sorry, if you are so materialistic that you feel that your wedding day won't be a wedding day with out all of these "Vital details" just so, haven't you already missed the point? One fabulous example of this is the process of getting engagement rings.
Why is the idea that this rock that is about to be placed on your finger must be this huge grandeouos oversized, over-the-top creation, and if it's not apparently it screams "I don't truly love you". It is truly sad. When we first started talking of getting engaged Jon informed me that he had been told by a girl in a previous relationship that if a guy doesn't give the girl AT LEAST 2 Karats it is clearly apparent that the guy must not truly love her. THe sad thing about this is... This sick view point had been impressed upon Jon in such a way that he was convinced that even I held this same twisted line of thinking. He was convinced that I would be unsatisfied with anything less then this huge lump of rock so large that when on my finger there would be concern about poking someones eye out with it.
In life, decisions like this should never be made based off of how large any object is. It's not about the money or the party or anything like that. An engagement and wedding is souly about A man and a woman coming together in front of God and making the commitment to each other to stand by one another for the long hall. For better AND for worse. As I said to Jon when he asked about the importance of a 2K ring, "Shower me with your LOVE, NOT your money!"
I keep getting the impression that my family expects me to want some big huge grand wedding that is more about the party than anything else. Its like they feel that they are punishing me in some way by not throwing money out in every direction for the wedding. Its like they expect me to feel so devastated that they aren't throwing me some big extravagant party like my uncle did for my cousins. And no matter how much I try to get them to tell them that, in actuality that is really the last thing I would want for my wedding, they don't appear to believe me. Which in some ways makes me feel better about the fact that they aren't willing to help me plan my wedding. Because this way, I can be assured that my wedding will be exactly as how I want it. Simple.n It will be nice. we will all have a good time, but the focus of the wedding will be on God and the commitment that Jon and I are joining together to make to each other. We will laugh, dance, eat, and be merry, But most importantly we will come together and worship the Lord and creator as we unite together as one.
Weddings aren't about the party. They are about the commitment. The commitment that two people to unite as one for life. And the sooner that people remember that the better.