These days...
As you all know about one week ago the Mayor of New Paltz, Jason West began marrying gay couples in our town. As I watched the very first marriage performed I realized it just didn't make sense to me, I couldn't imagine why it would be illegal, not that it made sense to me before but seeing it live well I guess reality just set in. I felt very proud to be there watching our town make history, watching our small town mayor stand up for what he believes is right, watching all of those beautiful people have some of their dreams come true. Now people are calling it the next civil rights movement and everyday something else happens. Every night there are news trucks outside the village hall reporting. Tons of demonstrations on campus and off. Then I heard that Fred Phelps was planning a visit and due to their poor planning they would land on SUNY New Paltz grounds during our spring break. Well of course I wouldn't be there then after all I'm going to Wyoming with Romaine. Then someone got the bright idea to call him and fill his people in on their flawed plan so now I've heard they will be here on March 25 or April 4th or something or other. Ok so now I can attend but 2 of the women who were married and are grad students that go to New Paltz have requested that there be no counter protest. After thinking long and hard about this here is what I've come up with. 1) They don't want to show him anything and in turn this could be a counter protest in itself. 2) They are willing to take part in the gay marriage but not in any sort of protest. These people were specifically targeted from what I understand on Fred's posters/flyers. I know that if it was me targeted on the posters I'd do something-but I'm ok with that being a personal choice. To each their own and afterall who am I to say anything about it when I first heard he was coming I didn't think about doing anything. But seriously I'm struggling here. I feel like such shit because I don't have like this extreme passion to go out and take action about this. Maybe I'm having my own silent protest passive and alone. Maybe I'm a bad lesbian. Then I can't help but think that if perhaps all of the people who choose to react the way I do actually took a stand maybe change would occur. Sometimes I struggle with forming opinions about different things political and otherwise but hello this is my life I KNOW I believe in these rights. Ok so maybe I just don't have the activist blood in me but I wanted to celebrate when we had the marriages so I should want to stand up when we have the protest. I don't know what to do and to be honest I'm a little dissapointed in myself for feeling this way. Maybe I just can't fathom how people can actually believe these things and I don't want to admit that they do. Maybe if I was more personally connected to the situation. Maybe being gay should be personal connection enough. Maybe in my own little way I protest maybe being openly gay is my way. Maybe being silent but strong is my way but is that good enough?