musesandlyrics | 4.28 Robbie Williams lyrics
4.28. All we've ever wanted
Is to look good naked
Hope that someone can take it
God save me rejection
From my reflection,
I want perfection
Bodies - Robbie Williams
[Follows THIS | Xander is mine, not binding on any in existence]
Buffy trudged through the castle as she continued to wipe the mud from her face as best she could. She was covered from head to toe with a feeling of utter discontent that didn’t seem to be leaving her any time soon. She’d failed in the straight forward task of patrolling, and she’d also failed in finding out Braveheart’s name.
Epic failure didn’t even begin to cover what she thought of the night’s events. She finally, and literally, got swept off her feet and all she had to show for it was a ruined outfit and about ten tonnes of mud. She didn’t even want to think of the trail of footprints she’d have to clean up come morning.
Luckily for her all the other Slayerettes seemed to have turned in for the night, or somewhere other than the bathroom, and she pushed open the door with relief as she made a beeline for the tub, and dropped the plug in before turning the water on.
As the tub started to fill slowly, she stripped out of her clothes and left them in a messy pile on the floor. Another thing she’d clean up after she’d had at least a few moments on her own to lick her wounds, and revel in scented bathly goodness.
She blinked, and quickly picked up the vanilla scented bubble bath. The bottle was tipped upside, and squeezed tightly but nothing came out. Empty.
“Why is nothing in this place sacred?!” she asked herself in an angry whisper. “This is why living with girls sucks. I can’t believe I even considered maybe turning gay! Girls are just stupid... and selfish.”
“And yet we can’t live without them.”
Buffy gasped at the voice, and tried to shield her breasts as she stayed with her back to the door, and turned her head to look at the intruder. “Xander! Don’t you knock? This is Buffy time! Very, very private and much with the naked Buffy time.”
Xander arched his eyebrow as he looked at her with his good eye, and tried to fight a smirk. “So I can see, but you’re the one not locking the door, and I’m the one really needing to pee. So prepare for an over share because I’m not holding it for anyone. I’ve already lost my eye, don’t need to lose my bladder. And feel free to continue with the naked private Buffy time. I’m not even here. Even if I am intrigued by the whole mud wrestling look you have going on. Was there mud wrestling? Because if there was, and you didn’t even call me, I’m incredibly disappointed.”
“Xander!” Buffy tried again, and glanced around for a robe. Why did the girls suddenly have to be so neat? She was sure there had been about ten abandoned bathrobes in here the other day. She had to make do with a towel, and secured it tightly around herself before she even tried to face Xander. By then he was already standing at the toilet. “Xander!”
“Hey, I warned you, Buff. You cannot say there wasn’t ample warning. You have no idea I’ve been holding it, and waiting for the Slayerettes to stop hogging the bathroom. There are too many girls in this castle with bladder control issues, that’s all I’m saying. Next time we mount a mission, we’re taking a port-a-loo, or they’re all getting adult diapers.”
Buffy raised her eyebrows. “You really put a lot of thought into that, didn’t you?”
Xander shrugged. “I have nothing else to live for.”
“Please tell me Slayerettes in diapers is at least not a fantasy, and just a practical suggestion.”
“I refuse to answer that while Little Xander’s out.”
“You’re weird.”
Xander turned his head to smile at her. “You’re only just figuring that out?”
Buffy shook her head. “Nope, just figured it was time it got said again. You know, in case you ever think you’re normal.”
“I’m weird, not delusional.” There was a moment of Xander jiggling before he tucked himself back into his boxers, and flushed. “And now I’m done.”
Buffy pointed at the sink. “And now you’re washing your hands and getting out.”
“But the mud! C’mon, Buff, I want the story. It’ll be the perfect thing to make me all sleepy and happy again. Don’t you want me to have nice dreams?”
Buffy glanced over her shoulder at the tub to check it wasn’t close to being full yet before she shoved Xander in the chest towards the sink. “Not about me mud wrestling, I don’t. And there was no mud wrestling. Just me falling in mud after getting knocked down by Braveheart. Hot, sexy, Scottish Braveheart...”
Xander’s nose scrunched up, and he stuck his tongue out. “Stop! Stop! Okay, I really don’t want to know the rest. Not when there’s another guy involved. How am I supposed to insert myself into the fantasy? So was he really Braveheart, or are you just having hallucinations?”
“If I was having hallucinations it would be of someone very much not Mel Gibson. It’s just I don’t know his name, so I had to call him something! He was all... mysterious, and Scottish, and he had a crossbow!” Buffy’s bottom lip was stuck out in a pout again as she thought of her missed opportunity, and she sighed. “I’m doomed.”
Xander snorted. “You really have a thing for guys that make random cameos, don’t you? And here I am, a permanent fixture and I just never get a look in.”
Buffy reached out to pat her hand against Xander’s shoulder. “There, there. You don’t need my messed up romantic ways crashing your perfectly... valid weird romantic ones.”
Xander smirked a little. “Doesn’t mean we can’t enjoy a little friends with benefits type deal. I hear they’re quite the rage back home now. All the cool friends are doing it. Literally.”
Buffy squirmed in place, and seemed to actually consider it for a moment. “Are we really capable of staying friends once the horizontal mambo comes into play?”
Xander blinked. “I want to say yes, but I’m guessing the answer is really no.”
“Track record speaks for itself. Neither of us have ever stayed friends with our exes.”
“You and Spike had a sort of friendship going...”
Buffy raised her eyebrows. “You really want to use him as an argument for friends with benefits?”
Xander raised his hand. “Okay, no. I really don’t. But it was worth a try.” He waited a beat before nodding at her. “Still... a peek under the towel wouldn’t hurt.”
“XANDER!”
Is to look good naked
Hope that someone can take it
God save me rejection
From my reflection,
I want perfection
Bodies - Robbie Williams
[Follows THIS | Xander is mine, not binding on any in existence]
Buffy trudged through the castle as she continued to wipe the mud from her face as best she could. She was covered from head to toe with a feeling of utter discontent that didn’t seem to be leaving her any time soon. She’d failed in the straight forward task of patrolling, and she’d also failed in finding out Braveheart’s name.
Epic failure didn’t even begin to cover what she thought of the night’s events. She finally, and literally, got swept off her feet and all she had to show for it was a ruined outfit and about ten tonnes of mud. She didn’t even want to think of the trail of footprints she’d have to clean up come morning.
Luckily for her all the other Slayerettes seemed to have turned in for the night, or somewhere other than the bathroom, and she pushed open the door with relief as she made a beeline for the tub, and dropped the plug in before turning the water on.
As the tub started to fill slowly, she stripped out of her clothes and left them in a messy pile on the floor. Another thing she’d clean up after she’d had at least a few moments on her own to lick her wounds, and revel in scented bathly goodness.
She blinked, and quickly picked up the vanilla scented bubble bath. The bottle was tipped upside, and squeezed tightly but nothing came out. Empty.
“Why is nothing in this place sacred?!” she asked herself in an angry whisper. “This is why living with girls sucks. I can’t believe I even considered maybe turning gay! Girls are just stupid... and selfish.”
“And yet we can’t live without them.”
Buffy gasped at the voice, and tried to shield her breasts as she stayed with her back to the door, and turned her head to look at the intruder. “Xander! Don’t you knock? This is Buffy time! Very, very private and much with the naked Buffy time.”
Xander arched his eyebrow as he looked at her with his good eye, and tried to fight a smirk. “So I can see, but you’re the one not locking the door, and I’m the one really needing to pee. So prepare for an over share because I’m not holding it for anyone. I’ve already lost my eye, don’t need to lose my bladder. And feel free to continue with the naked private Buffy time. I’m not even here. Even if I am intrigued by the whole mud wrestling look you have going on. Was there mud wrestling? Because if there was, and you didn’t even call me, I’m incredibly disappointed.”
“Xander!” Buffy tried again, and glanced around for a robe. Why did the girls suddenly have to be so neat? She was sure there had been about ten abandoned bathrobes in here the other day. She had to make do with a towel, and secured it tightly around herself before she even tried to face Xander. By then he was already standing at the toilet. “Xander!”
“Hey, I warned you, Buff. You cannot say there wasn’t ample warning. You have no idea I’ve been holding it, and waiting for the Slayerettes to stop hogging the bathroom. There are too many girls in this castle with bladder control issues, that’s all I’m saying. Next time we mount a mission, we’re taking a port-a-loo, or they’re all getting adult diapers.”
Buffy raised her eyebrows. “You really put a lot of thought into that, didn’t you?”
Xander shrugged. “I have nothing else to live for.”
“Please tell me Slayerettes in diapers is at least not a fantasy, and just a practical suggestion.”
“I refuse to answer that while Little Xander’s out.”
“You’re weird.”
Xander turned his head to smile at her. “You’re only just figuring that out?”
Buffy shook her head. “Nope, just figured it was time it got said again. You know, in case you ever think you’re normal.”
“I’m weird, not delusional.” There was a moment of Xander jiggling before he tucked himself back into his boxers, and flushed. “And now I’m done.”
Buffy pointed at the sink. “And now you’re washing your hands and getting out.”
“But the mud! C’mon, Buff, I want the story. It’ll be the perfect thing to make me all sleepy and happy again. Don’t you want me to have nice dreams?”
Buffy glanced over her shoulder at the tub to check it wasn’t close to being full yet before she shoved Xander in the chest towards the sink. “Not about me mud wrestling, I don’t. And there was no mud wrestling. Just me falling in mud after getting knocked down by Braveheart. Hot, sexy, Scottish Braveheart...”
Xander’s nose scrunched up, and he stuck his tongue out. “Stop! Stop! Okay, I really don’t want to know the rest. Not when there’s another guy involved. How am I supposed to insert myself into the fantasy? So was he really Braveheart, or are you just having hallucinations?”
“If I was having hallucinations it would be of someone very much not Mel Gibson. It’s just I don’t know his name, so I had to call him something! He was all... mysterious, and Scottish, and he had a crossbow!” Buffy’s bottom lip was stuck out in a pout again as she thought of her missed opportunity, and she sighed. “I’m doomed.”
Xander snorted. “You really have a thing for guys that make random cameos, don’t you? And here I am, a permanent fixture and I just never get a look in.”
Buffy reached out to pat her hand against Xander’s shoulder. “There, there. You don’t need my messed up romantic ways crashing your perfectly... valid weird romantic ones.”
Xander smirked a little. “Doesn’t mean we can’t enjoy a little friends with benefits type deal. I hear they’re quite the rage back home now. All the cool friends are doing it. Literally.”
Buffy squirmed in place, and seemed to actually consider it for a moment. “Are we really capable of staying friends once the horizontal mambo comes into play?”
Xander blinked. “I want to say yes, but I’m guessing the answer is really no.”
“Track record speaks for itself. Neither of us have ever stayed friends with our exes.”
“You and Spike had a sort of friendship going...”
Buffy raised her eyebrows. “You really want to use him as an argument for friends with benefits?”
Xander raised his hand. “Okay, no. I really don’t. But it was worth a try.” He waited a beat before nodding at her. “Still... a peek under the towel wouldn’t hurt.”
“XANDER!”