(no subject)
I don't know what to do next..I'm a fucking failure. There is nothing that I have tried that has allowed me to lose any sort of weight and if something doesn't change soon I will most likely putting myself into an early grave. People fret about losing 10 or 20 pounds when I am faced with being DISGUSTINGLY overweight everyday. Not only does it hurt that I WANT to change but can't find the way, but the looks and comments I get from people around me are enough to make me want to die at times. I just want to live my life, I want to be loved for who I am, but I also want to be reassured that I am healthy and have a long full life ahead of me. I don't have that now..unless things change. I have known that things really need to change for awhile now..but implementing that change without help is one of the hardest things that I can do. Don't say that I just need to take the steps and do what I need to do..cause I need to be guided when it comes to this area. I don't think I have felt this badly towards myself in a long time and it really scares me. I feel that I am a lost cause..that no matter what I do it won't matter..that I'm meant to be this way to make up for some great wrong I've done along the way.
I don't want to cry in front of my roomate anymore..she is prolly totally confused. With good reason, I've been trying my best just to guard these feelings of late but now they are just busting out.
I don't want to cry in front of my roomate anymore..she is prolly totally confused. With good reason, I've been trying my best just to guard these feelings of late but now they are just busting out.