People get killed for this sort of stuff.
I, the Penis, hereby request a raise in salary for the following
>reasons:
>
> >I do physical labour.
>
> >I work at great depths.
>
> >I plunge head first into everything I do.
>
> >I do not get weekends or public holidays off.
>
> >In fact holidays and weekends is when I toil the most.
>
> >I work in a damp environment.
>
> >I work in a dark workplace that has poor ventilation.
>
> >I work in extremely high temperatures.
>
> _______________________________________
>
> Dear Penis
>
> After assessing your request, and considering the arguments you have raised, the administration rejects your request for the following reasons:
>
> >You do not work 8 hours straight. You fall asleep after brief work periods. You do not always follow the orders of the management team.
>
> >You do not stay in your designated area and are often seen visiting other locations.
>
> >You do not take initiative - you need to be pressured and
>stimulated in order to start working.
>
> >You leave the workplace rather messy at the end of your shift. You don't always observe necessary safety regulations, such as wearing the correct protective clothing.
>
> >You will retire well before you are 65.
>
> >You are unable to work double shifts.
>
> >You sometimes leave your designated work area before
> you have completed the assigned task.
>
> >As if that were not all, you have been seen constantly entering and exiting the work place carrying two suspicious-looking bags.
>reasons:
>
> >I do physical labour.
>
> >I work at great depths.
>
> >I plunge head first into everything I do.
>
> >I do not get weekends or public holidays off.
>
> >In fact holidays and weekends is when I toil the most.
>
> >I work in a damp environment.
>
> >I work in a dark workplace that has poor ventilation.
>
> >I work in extremely high temperatures.
>
> _______________________________________
>
> Dear Penis
>
> After assessing your request, and considering the arguments you have raised, the administration rejects your request for the following reasons:
>
> >You do not work 8 hours straight. You fall asleep after brief work periods. You do not always follow the orders of the management team.
>
> >You do not stay in your designated area and are often seen visiting other locations.
>
> >You do not take initiative - you need to be pressured and
>stimulated in order to start working.
>
> >You leave the workplace rather messy at the end of your shift. You don't always observe necessary safety regulations, such as wearing the correct protective clothing.
>
> >You will retire well before you are 65.
>
> >You are unable to work double shifts.
>
> >You sometimes leave your designated work area before
> you have completed the assigned task.
>
> >As if that were not all, you have been seen constantly entering and exiting the work place carrying two suspicious-looking bags.