(no subject)
Life can be so damn complicated at times it isn't even funny. Just when things seem to be moving along in a very boring usual manner something comes along and peaks your intrest, something that you had no intention of looking for but none the less it is there and you have no idea what to do. I am becoming friends with someone that I am starting to develop feelings for, and these feelings have nothing to do with her looks, even though she is beautiful in my eyes, and have nothing to do with what she can do, it has everything to do with whats inside of her heart, and in there I see a person with beauty that surpasses anything I have come across yet. In order to eclipse anything from my past says alot, and she has done this, but as usual there are alot of problems. First off I know she sees me as a friend right now, and I highly doubt she could see me as more than that(maybe that is my lack of self confidence speaking but it is how I feel). Also she is just getting out of a relationship she was in for awhile and she is interested in someone else, but this someone else is married so I don't know how much of a future there can be there. I love spending time with her, I love the sound of her voice, and just everything about her. I won't say I love her since I barely know her, but I realy like her and want to see what could happen, but alas I am sure nothing will happen. I will bitch and moan about it and think of everything I want to say, but in end I will never say any of it and she will be a friend that will eventually slip right through my fingers without me even knowing what could have been. "Heres to the losers, God Bless Them All", nothing has ever sounded more true to me, that is lyrics I just heard from a song being sung on a Star Trek Deep Space Nine episode, and that is how I feel. Anyway I guess I better get to bed so I can think about this stuff some more in my sleep, take care everyone.