Ponderisms
My stepmother sends me the funniest emails.....
· Can you cry under water?
· How important does a person have to be before they are considered assassinated instead of just murdered?
· Why do you have to "put your two cents in".. But it's only a "penny for your thoughts"? Where's that extra penny going to? .
· Once you're in heaven, do you get stuck wearing the clothes you were buried in for eternity?
· Why does a round pizza come in a square box?
· What disease did cured ham actually have?
· How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on luggage?
· why is it that people say they "slept like a baby" when babies wake up like every two hours?
· If a deaf person has to go to court, is it still called a hearing?
· why are you IN a movie, but you're ON TV?
· Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars to look at things on the ground?
· Why do doctors leave the room while you change? They're going to see you naked anyway.
· Why is "bra" singular and "panties" plural?
· Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible crisp, which no decent human being would eat?
· If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a stupid song about him?
· Can a hearse carrying a corpse drive in the carpool lane ?
· If the professor on Gilligan's Island can make a radio out of a coconut, why can't he fix a hole in a boat?
· Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours? They're both dogs!
· If Wile E. Coyote had enough money to buy all that ACME crap, why didn't he just buy dinner?
· If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, what is baby oil made from?
· If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?
· Why do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same tune?
· Why did you just try singing the two songs above?
· Why do they call it an asteroid when it's outside the hemisphere, but call it a hemorrhoid when it's down below where the sun don't shine?
· Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him for a car ride, he sticks his head out the window?