(no subject)
I received an email last night from my maybe-kinda-is-she-my(?)-advisor, telling me that my chem lab class probably shouldn't be registered as pass/fail because OH HEY it won't count towards my major. She also said that it was the last day to change it from pass/fail to letter grade. And she sent the email at 2, and the admin building closes sometime around 6. I had class from 2-6, so didn't open the email until 8.
So I had to run to the admin building after class today to pick up a drop/add form, go across campus to get one signature, then go to a different end of campus and up ten stories to get another signature, then bring the form back to administration to get everything squared away.
I brought with me one victory cigarette so I had something to look forward to after everything was complete.
I sat outside the library and smoked it. It didn't make me feel very victorious.
Then I spent the next two hours studying o. chem and at six went to an o. chem review. We have a test tomorrow.
Today during my midday break I did biology homework because we have a quiz and online homework--neither of which are easy--due every day before class. I haven't studied as much for o. chem as I should've.
It seems I've always had this problem with chemistry.
It's mainly because studying for chemistry is a lot like studying for math: you just have to do a shitload of problems. Reading about the concepts doesn't help.
I lay in bed for 15 minutes earlier this afternoon trying to get a little bit of sleep (I had chem lab at 8 this morning). I couldn't sleep. Everything I had to do kept cycling through my thoughts.
Research project, put in some hours for work, CHEMISTRY CHEMISTRY, bio test next week, is something due in music class today?
And that goddam Belle and Sebastian song "The Stars of Track and Field" has been stuck in my head for two weeks.
I have been going nonstop since school began.
And I guess it makes me feel pretty good. My days, while looking back on them, stretch on forever, but they always feel short once I'm home at night. Weeks rocket by. I've thought it was Feb. 11th for the past three days.
It feels good to be self-sufficient and responsible.
Somehow I've been juggling all components of life and it is a marvel, really, when I consider all I have to deal with.