*get me out of my mind and get you out of those clothes*
Insomnia...i havent had this in years...makes me worry. i dont want to slip again.
So anyways
quit wal-mart. dumb job should have never put myself there. They didnt pay me NEARLY enough for that bs.
Ive got 10000000 things on my mind, but what are they excatly?
I want to listen to music but im not sure what quite fits my mood...the pixies! there we go. much better.
Its a strange night...lack of sleep is causing it im assuming and the gain of such amounts of stress in such an extremely short period of time.
I LOVE being single but at the same time i feel so anxious to find someone to be with..but yet im in no hurry what so ever. Go figure..i blame it on the gemini in me.
random thoughts are what im puttin out. Im not really quite sure what to talk about. im just SO tired and i just cant sleep...hmm blaine, you said you'd make me feel better, please do.
All my friends are gone. Ben left without even saying goodbye..to anybody. That was like a punch in the face..*well ive been a really big part of your life, so im leaving and not saying goodbye*..thanks? i know it might have been easier for him that way, but it didnt make me feel better. To know the last time ill probably see him was in my bathroom the night of the party and i was mad and emotional because HE and miranda pissed me off. He hugged me and said *ill really miss you* and that was pretty much the last thing he said to me.
Camilles going back to texas tomorrow. Im gonna miss her again. She wants me to go visit in july, i hope i can find the money.
Jess is leaving for college in the fall.
Erica and seamus are getting very involved and once they get an appartment together, which will be soon, she wont have enough time for me.
Andys back on drugs, hes been up dianne's ass since my party...My best friend doesn't even talk to me, and its all because of drugs and a girl..Well i know where his priorities stand. Kadee is in the same boat with me on that one.
i wish i was in a less dwelling mood.
Now im listening to death cab for cutie.
I bought the new white stripes CD today...i love it so far. Ive always liked them though, i still want to get a few of their older Cds, the ones i dont have. I have elephant and white bloodcells i think...is it white blood cells? i dont remember. but anyways, i want to go to their concert but i dont think anyone wants to go with me.
Im growing up and its the scarriest thing ever. It feels like im sheding my soul and becoming something new. It makes me fear myself but its also refreshing.
Coldplay is now my music of choice.
2 13 am.
what am i doing awake?
I can't stop thinking of the field and the sunset..how green the grass was and how bright the sun was against the dark woodline.. It was just amazing. I was happy. but the fuckin stress from the day, i couldnt take it all in how i wanted to..i disappointed myself. But it was beautiful..
That was one of the most peaceful moments i've had in a long time, and i got to share it with blaine.
*breathe, breathe in the air
dont be afraid to care
leave but dont leave me
look around, choose your own ground
all you live and high you fly
the smiles you'll give and tears you'll cry
and all you touch and all you see
is all your life will ever be* ~Pink Floyd
The Killers, my next weapon of choice..then modest mouse?
*i dont shine if you dont shine*
theres a new song by the bravery im inlove with called time wont let me go.
well i should wrap this up.
krista