All the news that's fit to eat
Funding, ethical concerns halt local ass-widening program; sales of waffle fries plummet
(ATLANTA) -- In a move that will come as a shock to many, area resident and bonne vivante goudabonbon this week declared an end to her ass-widening program (AWP). "I'm just sick of everything that's not a vegetable," she declared, though close friends caution that she may delirious from consuming half a loaf of cranberry bread from the Buckhead Bread Company.
goudabonbon has begun to question her motives in baking mountains of biscuits, cornbread, muffins and pies over the past months, as well. "I thought I was lovingly baking them for my family," she exclaimed, "but I ate 90% of what came out of the oven." To further complicate matters, police name her as a "person of interest" in the disappearance of her daughter Sweetness' leftover birthday cake.
OTHER HEADLINES
Concerns continue in Bosom World (thanks for that phrase, Travellight)
The Lumpette continues to be A Small Cause for Concern to certain medical professionals. Next up for Goudabonbon: A visit to a needle-wielding specialist who will confirm that indeed, it is Benign Lumpette.
Small-arms fire exchanged between preschool parent volunteers over Halloween party plans: Room Parent goudabonbon unable to negotiate truce despite shuttle diplomacy.
Recovery from bronchitis continues
Birthday Cake Score: Sweetness 3; goudabonbon 0.
(ATLANTA) -- In a move that will come as a shock to many, area resident and bonne vivante goudabonbon this week declared an end to her ass-widening program (AWP). "I'm just sick of everything that's not a vegetable," she declared, though close friends caution that she may delirious from consuming half a loaf of cranberry bread from the Buckhead Bread Company.
goudabonbon has begun to question her motives in baking mountains of biscuits, cornbread, muffins and pies over the past months, as well. "I thought I was lovingly baking them for my family," she exclaimed, "but I ate 90% of what came out of the oven." To further complicate matters, police name her as a "person of interest" in the disappearance of her daughter Sweetness' leftover birthday cake.
OTHER HEADLINES
Concerns continue in Bosom World (thanks for that phrase, Travellight)
The Lumpette continues to be A Small Cause for Concern to certain medical professionals. Next up for Goudabonbon: A visit to a needle-wielding specialist who will confirm that indeed, it is Benign Lumpette.
Small-arms fire exchanged between preschool parent volunteers over Halloween party plans: Room Parent goudabonbon unable to negotiate truce despite shuttle diplomacy.
Recovery from bronchitis continues
Birthday Cake Score: Sweetness 3; goudabonbon 0.