(no subject)
A husband was in big trouble when he forgot his wife's birthday.
His wife told him, "Tomorrow there better be something in the driveway for me that goes from zero to 200 in under 10 seconds."
The next morning the wife found a small package in the driveway. She opened it and found a brand new bathroom scale.
Funeral arrangements for the husband have been set for Saturday.
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I was at a stop light, behind a car with a bumper sticker that said "Honk if you love Jesus." I honked.
The driver leaned out his window, flipped me the bird, and yelled, "Can't you see the light is still red, you moron?"
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Back in my working days I was a union linotype operator in a daily newspaper on Cape Cod. Our employment required 6 years of apprenticeship prior to receiving a journeyman's credentials. We were required to be proficient in English, particularly spelling and meaning of words, among others.
One day a fellow worker while setting a story came across the word, "butte" and asked his co-worker the difference between a butte, mountain or mesa, etc. A discussion arose amongst several of us and the comparison was made as well of canyons, escarpmets, bluffs. etc.
Someone suggested we ask Jeannie, one of our proofreaders to settle the question. Well, Jeannie was what one might say a worldly lady, and when approached by our representative with: "Hey, Jeannie, what's a butte?"
She promptly replied: "Offhand, I'd say, one about this long;" signifying a distance of about 8 inches with her hands.
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That's all for now...
His wife told him, "Tomorrow there better be something in the driveway for me that goes from zero to 200 in under 10 seconds."
The next morning the wife found a small package in the driveway. She opened it and found a brand new bathroom scale.
Funeral arrangements for the husband have been set for Saturday.
**************
I was at a stop light, behind a car with a bumper sticker that said "Honk if you love Jesus." I honked.
The driver leaned out his window, flipped me the bird, and yelled, "Can't you see the light is still red, you moron?"
**************
Back in my working days I was a union linotype operator in a daily newspaper on Cape Cod. Our employment required 6 years of apprenticeship prior to receiving a journeyman's credentials. We were required to be proficient in English, particularly spelling and meaning of words, among others.
One day a fellow worker while setting a story came across the word, "butte" and asked his co-worker the difference between a butte, mountain or mesa, etc. A discussion arose amongst several of us and the comparison was made as well of canyons, escarpmets, bluffs. etc.
Someone suggested we ask Jeannie, one of our proofreaders to settle the question. Well, Jeannie was what one might say a worldly lady, and when approached by our representative with: "Hey, Jeannie, what's a butte?"
She promptly replied: "Offhand, I'd say, one about this long;" signifying a distance of about 8 inches with her hands.
****************
That's all for now...