In the almost two weeks since that night on the beach I'd seen Logan five times. We had one last weekend before school started and things got insanely busy for me again with all the assignments and extracurriculars I had, never mind babysitting. But I'd managed to make time for boyfriends in all of that before, so I didn't see any reason why this
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"There are times" - All the time - "that suing them for malpractice seems like the best option. Or somehow divorcing them from our lives." Malpractice? I wonder how much malpractice it is to be doing your son's girlfriend or leave belt marks across his back - how about chasing your wife and his mother off a bridge to her death? Yeah, there are times. Frequent times.
I look up to Meg as she lists things she's been interested in doing after school. "You know, I always thought you were going to end up being some famous actress," I said with a soft laugh. "I mean, you're always in the plays. You have the anchor job. It just seemed like something you were doing. So, I really doubt you're going to send up working at McDonald's or the Sac-n-Pac."
"And you do know I am like most of our 'friends'," I said, using her air quotes briefly before stopping at the beach. "Maybe you're not going to get handed money to do whatever you want with, but where are the rest of us going to be when that runs out? I mean, Madison is training to be a desperate housewife and Dick is out there betting on dog racing. You're going to actually go somewhere, while everyone else is stuck in second gear."
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"Well, the anchor job would be video journalism, right?" I pointed out, "Not exactly acting." Besides... my dad if I ever told him I was going to theatre school or something? The fact that I'm in the plays is bad enough, except that it's at school and therefore supervised. "And I love kids, so yeah, both would be good. Acting would be fun though. Just not the most stable of jobs." He knew that. I mean, both his parents were movie stars at one point or another. Aaron just happened to make 20 million a picture. Most actors aren't that lucky.
"You have money, sure. The difference being? You're a lot more mature than most of them." I countered when he said he was like most of our so-called friends. On the surface he was, but everything he'd gone through had made him different. He likes having money, likes spending money, but he's not about to blow it all at once like some people in his position would. "You're not going to be flat broke by the time you're 30. And you know? I think I'd rather work at McDonald's than marry someone for the sake of having a secure bank account like we all know Madison will eventually do. Having tons of money's not really important as long as you have what you actually need to live." I told him honestly. The rest was just... icing. All the fancy cars and the cell phones and the laptops... they're so not what's important.
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"Well, we're not living Laguna Beach," I commented to Meg to a small shrug. "But most of the stuff that happens in this town ends up painted all over the news anyway, so... we're close to being some trashy reality show."
I wanted to comment to her that on camera was on camera. It was acting more or less, you just had different lines and different delivery. You were fed what others wanted you to say and you were there because you were a pretty face. At least with acting it required some form of talent - ... usually.
"I have seen the occasional school play. At least you have some shred of preternatural skill." Which was more than I could say for my own father who made millions a picture and kept producing them despite script or subject matter. "Not like I actually promote the acting life. Like you said, you like kids too... that's something." It spoiled people. My entire family were actors and I had to say that sometimes they played their roles to perfection. We all did.
Madison was probably already trying to perfect how to numb herself with Vicodin or anything else. She'd end up getting her pre-nuptial agreement and if she was ever bored with her life she could take the sucker she married for half of what he owned or more. No, I wasn't going to end up like that and sure I'd still have money by the time I was 30 - if I even made it there - but it wasn't as if I didn't fit into the category our peers had created for themselves more or less.
I couldn't help but crack a smile. Meg was like no other 09er out there. She wasn't vain and she'd actually work for what she wanted - as long as it was honest work. "I could never work at McDonald's," I told her, a little amused. And it wasn't even about social status. I just couldn't... work there.
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"So my constantly getting the lead has nothing to do with my social status within the school?" I asked in mock surprise. "How did I not know I actually had skills?" I added, laughing. Sure, part of it me knew it was made easier by the fact that casting the head cheerleader in the lead role could draw ticket sales if only from the guys who featured her in their fantasies and the girls who wanted to be her. It was good business sense in that regard. Thankfully, I made a point of ensuring I deserved it.
"Honestly, as much as I enjoy acting, and as fascinating as journalism is, - which by the way does require research and writing skills in addition to being 'on' for the camera -" I added, complete with air-quotes, "I really do thinking running a daycare or a pre-school is where I'd be happiest. Besides, when I get to a point where I want to have a family of my own, I could keep working and not feel like I'm abandoning them in favour of work or vice versa." I explained. I'd put a lot of thought into this for a senior in high school, but at least my life is well-rounded enough that I'd considered a lot of options. Family is what's most important to me. I'd probably love social work, but I'd be away from them too much. This way I could be a hands on mother and not have to depend on my future husband for everything like my mom does my dad. That independence is something needed in order for me to feel safe, I think.
"I know, I know, with my GPA, I should have loftier goals, right?" I questioned with a smile as one spread across his lips and he admitted he could never work at McDonald's. "Whatever gets the bills paid, right?" Once I left that house, I wasn't going back. I wouldn't survive. I just needed to get Grace out somehow. Lizzie was free in a year or so. She'd be gone the second she turned 18.
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