Uncorking the Bottle... Just a Little: Pt 2
My job. Where do I even start? In a nutshell, I'm sick of it. I'm tired of bending over backwards for a thankless job and also one that pays nothing for the amount of shit and things that I have to deal with on a daily basis. I've always told myself since I accepted the position that if I only last a year in the position, I'd feel greatly accomplished. (The date is February 5th.) After that year mark, I wouldn't care if I left PetSmart for something else. I feel that being in a management position for at least a full year could open some doors to future employment opportunities. I could be horribly misguided by that generalization, but hey, it sounds good and makes sense to me. But where would I go? What would I do? I feel like I've been at this place so many times before, and every time I always just package it into the little (yet ever growing) box of disappointements and just accept my place and suck it up and push forward, never completely satisfied with where I'm at. Enter the vicious circle...
Here we are, November 16th, 2007 (Happy Birthday to my Aunt Fran!): Living on my own. Withdrawn from college... No. A college dropout. (There. I said it. Let's bold, underline and italicize this to really drive it home.) Working full-time at a job that I love to hate. And broke. I would love to go back to school for either Photography and/or Art History. (At least I've narrowed down what I'd want to go back for.) There-in lies the problem: I have to work to live on my own, especially in the apartment we're currently residing. At the same time, I yearn to go back to school. Going back to school, obviously, costs money. Working full-time doesn't leave a lot of extra time to go to school, not that I would be looking at going back full-time, but still. In order to theoretically make more money and attempt to work somewhere that I would love, I would have to back to school. What do I do?
I do not regret leaving school this past February. I still feel like it was the absolute right thing to do. While I was really good (apparently) with the whole Art Education thing, I didn't feel like it was the right place for me to be. My heart wasn't in it. I did like Buff State though, so if anything I would probably consider going back there for classes. Maybe.
I'm just at a complete loss of direction. I'm at a loss of drive. I'm in dire need of guidance...
The little bit of snow that's falling right now is, however, making me incredibly happy. It makes me want to listen to horribly depressing christmas music.
g.