(no subject)
Today we buried my baby niece.
My entire family was looking forward to the birth of this precious little girl. She was a bright light in a world that had become darkened by the death of my dad five months ago. We all found that focusing on her arrival helped to ease the pain that we all felt.
Baby Laura’s heart stopped beating in the early hours of the morning she was due to be brought into this world (she was 7 days overdue and schedualed to be induced the afternoon of the day she died). She was kicking at 3am, but when my sister woke again at 6am she sensed something was very wrong. There was no warning, and no reason has been found for her death. It was just one of those tragic things that happen from time to time.
She was named Lauralyn after both grandmothers and was given that name the week my dad died. My sister was excited to tell my mum and dad that they had another granddaughter on the way and what her name would be. Dad died, unexpectedly, two days later and we were all grateful he got to know about Laura before he went.
Last Wednesday my brother in law called me to ask if I could come, my sister and I are very close and she had asked for me. I made it in time to be there when the baby was born. She was just perfect. 7lbs 9, 55.5 cm long. She had little ‘pixie’ ears like my sister had when she was little, her daddy’s large hands and feet and the cutest button nose with a scattering of milk spots. Her hair was strawberry blond and scattered in tiny curls and her little eye lashes were so fair that you had to look twice to see them.
When I held her I fell instantly in love. I can only just begin to imagine the heartbreak my sister and brother in law are going through. Their perfect little girl was their world even before she was a bump in her mummy’s tummy. I’m so grateful that Suzanne and Tom let me share this time with them. They let me hold their daughter and get to memorize the image of her tiny face in my mind and I can’t express how much that meant to me.
I just wish I could wave a magic wand and make things better. I wish there was something I could say to ease the pain of those I love so much. All the wishing in the world won’t undo things though. Instead of buying pretty dresses, pink Teddy bears, and bibs with cute sayings written on them, we were buying flowers for her funeral and saying goodbye before we ever got to know her.
When we were getting ready for the funeral my youngest daughter asked me if we were going to check if Laura was really gone before we buried her. She was very worried the doctor could have made a mistake and that Laura might still somehow be alive. Oh how wonderful it would have been to go there and find it was all a bad dream. To have the funeral director say “Hey, they made a mistake.” And hand my sister a healthy, live baby girl.
It’s not fair. I hate this life sometimes.
My entire family was looking forward to the birth of this precious little girl. She was a bright light in a world that had become darkened by the death of my dad five months ago. We all found that focusing on her arrival helped to ease the pain that we all felt.
Baby Laura’s heart stopped beating in the early hours of the morning she was due to be brought into this world (she was 7 days overdue and schedualed to be induced the afternoon of the day she died). She was kicking at 3am, but when my sister woke again at 6am she sensed something was very wrong. There was no warning, and no reason has been found for her death. It was just one of those tragic things that happen from time to time.
She was named Lauralyn after both grandmothers and was given that name the week my dad died. My sister was excited to tell my mum and dad that they had another granddaughter on the way and what her name would be. Dad died, unexpectedly, two days later and we were all grateful he got to know about Laura before he went.
Last Wednesday my brother in law called me to ask if I could come, my sister and I are very close and she had asked for me. I made it in time to be there when the baby was born. She was just perfect. 7lbs 9, 55.5 cm long. She had little ‘pixie’ ears like my sister had when she was little, her daddy’s large hands and feet and the cutest button nose with a scattering of milk spots. Her hair was strawberry blond and scattered in tiny curls and her little eye lashes were so fair that you had to look twice to see them.
When I held her I fell instantly in love. I can only just begin to imagine the heartbreak my sister and brother in law are going through. Their perfect little girl was their world even before she was a bump in her mummy’s tummy. I’m so grateful that Suzanne and Tom let me share this time with them. They let me hold their daughter and get to memorize the image of her tiny face in my mind and I can’t express how much that meant to me.
I just wish I could wave a magic wand and make things better. I wish there was something I could say to ease the pain of those I love so much. All the wishing in the world won’t undo things though. Instead of buying pretty dresses, pink Teddy bears, and bibs with cute sayings written on them, we were buying flowers for her funeral and saying goodbye before we ever got to know her.
When we were getting ready for the funeral my youngest daughter asked me if we were going to check if Laura was really gone before we buried her. She was very worried the doctor could have made a mistake and that Laura might still somehow be alive. Oh how wonderful it would have been to go there and find it was all a bad dream. To have the funeral director say “Hey, they made a mistake.” And hand my sister a healthy, live baby girl.
It’s not fair. I hate this life sometimes.