Fic: Strayed, SGA/Lost crossover, Gen
Title: Strayed
Characters: John, Rodney (SGA), Miles, Jim (Lost)
Word count: 1386 words, rated Gen
Summary: John never imagined they could crash a jumper on Earth.
Note: Crossover between Stargate Atlantis and Lost. Made for stargateland for the "fancy meeting you here" crossover challenge.
John pushes the button on the remote and hums in satisfaction when the cloak activates and the Puddlejumper disappears. At last something that's working as it should.
"I don't believe this shit," Rodney says, grumbling as he fiddles with this tablet. "The readings are all over the place and I have no idea why. You'd think we're in the middle of a giant electromagnetic field."
"Maybe we are," John says looking around and trying to find his bearings. He thinks that they should head somewhere to his right. Maybe.
"On Earth?" Rodney scoffs. He dismisses the idea completely with a wave. "I don't think so, not with values of this magnitude. We must have been hit by lightning and it fucked all electronics, the tablet was hooked to the console at the time."
John shrugs, though it bugs him: the jumpers are sturdier than that, it shouldn't have been bothered by mere lightning. On the other hand, something had happened allright. The sky had been stormy, then everything had flashed white for a second. After that John had lost control of the jumper but nonetheless managed to crash without anyone getting hurt, which he counted as a success.
"I saw some houses that way," John says, pointing to his right. After the flash he'd been surprised to see a big Island where a minute before he would have sworn there was only empty ocean. Fighting with the controls, John had glimpsed what looked like a village of small houses although they'd crashed a couple of miles farther, in the jungle.
"Good, that's good. Civilization means communications and we'll be able to reach the SGC and ask them to come and get us. At least three crystals blew. But are you sure it's that way?" Rodney says, looking skeptical. "I would have sworn it was that way," he says, pointing straight left.
"And I say that you stay where you are and put your hands where I can see them" a voice says and John swivels around, going for his thigh though he finds only air. Dammit, he hadn't thought he'd need a sidearm on a jumper ride on Earth of all places.
A short man - black hair, probably Asian - dressed in an ugly tan jumpsuit has a rifle aimed at John. His M1 Carbine may be old, but it's deadly none the less. He's frowning, mouth pinched and aims at Rodney when John doesn't move.
"I said I want to see your hands, especially you, Spiky" he repeats, "or Imma shoot him."
"Hey! What did I do to you?" Rodney protests, but he slowly puts his tablet on the ground while John scowls and keeps his own hands chest high, cursing bad guys who understand that menacing him gives no results. He can't risk Rodney being shot, though.
"Okay, okay, let's stay calm. I'm John, this is Rodney. We're no threat, we just need to call for help. Any chance we could find a phone?" John asks with his best soothing voice, tried and tested on many planets.
The guy smirks.
"That could be complicated. Now you're going to walk to the rock over there," he says, pointing to a big boulder twenty feet away. "I'm Miles," he adds as an afterthought.
Rodney stumps his way to the rock muttering about how people are uncivilized even on goddamn Earth, no better than axe wielding natives, and how that's just his luck with the day he's having. John does his best to stay between Rodney and the guy with the gun, who in turn walks towards the tablet. Once he has a good look at it, Miles gapes a little and then his eyes snap back to Rodney.
"Holy shit, that's a computer!" he says, eyes round as saucers.
John's eyebrows raise and Rodney snorts. It's a pretty nifty computer, but no that extraordinary.
"Your limitless powers of observation astound me, really," Rodney quips.
"What year are you from?" Miles asks, as if it isn't the weirdest question ever.
"Awesome. Not only is a guy pointing a firearm at us, he's completely nuts," Rodney says and John knows Rodney puts a mark in the box about how the universe keeps conspiring against him.
"I asked what year it was for you!" Miles says, getting flushed and agitated and John raises his hands again. A pissed off guy with a gun is never good.
"Last time I checked it was 2009," John says. "You?"
Miles snort laughs, though he doesn't seem amused at all.
"2009, huh? Sorry guys, but not here on Craphole Island," Miles announces. "Let me the first to welcome you in 1976."
After this little bomb, Miles brings an old handheld transceiver to his mouth. "Jim? we have a problem."
The thing makes a bit of static and a voice comes on.
"Jim here. What's going on, Yoshi?"
"We have a couple of Marty McFly wannabes on our hands," Miles says, making John perk up. If Miles knows Back to the Future, he can't be from 1976.
"Shit, who is it?"
"No one we know. Well I don't," Miles says. "I'd put money that they've never been here before."
"Of course we've never been here before!" Rodney bitches. "And what's this insanity of being in 1976? We might have had the Olympics that year but I got over Nadia Comaneci years ago, thank you very much."
"Nadia Comaneci?" John says, not following.
"Shut up," Miles says as the guy named Jim asks what is going on.
"Bendy. Very very bendy," Rodney tells John, miming a half circle as if it explains everything. "I'm only human."
"You were eight, McKay. Come on," John says, shaking his head.
"And I'm actually not even born, though my mom's pregnant," Miles says conversationally before aiming at Rodney some more and starting to shout. "Didn't I tell you to shut up? It's very simple: you close your mouth and you don't make a sound. Is that clear?"
He's serious and for once Rodney gets the hint and clicks his mouth shut. John takes a step to be directly in the line of fire and puts his hands on his hips.
"He's shutting up. Right Rodney?"
"I'd be, Colonel, if you didn't make me speak up," Rodney says.
Miles looks up for a second, as if he's praying for patience from heaven. Unfortunately his attention is back on them before John has the opportunity to make a move.
"Oh, God, this is going to be such a pain in the ass, I can sense it. First, lead me to your plane, then we'll go see Jim and decide what to do with you. And if you have any self preservation at all, shut up about where you're from and act it as if you've never been in years after 76."
There's no way John's leading anyone to the jumper, even if Miles is less than 30 feet from it.
"About that," John says, improvising. "It disappeared? I have no idea what is going on here."
Luckily Miles doesn't seem to find this strange. He sighs deeply, picks up the tablet that he puts in his backpack and points to the jungle, straight ahead. Not right, but not left either which would have been embarrassing.
"Just our luck. Okay then, get moving. And remember to keep your mouths shut. Jim's gonna know what to do. Chop chop."
"I didn't even put sunscreen," Rodney says dejectedly, as he starts waking. "And I bet the mosquitoes carry malaria."
John cannot help but chuckle at the outraged sounds Miles makes as his rule is blatantly overlooked, and he falls in step behind Rodney just in case the need to shoot increases.
At the moment John has no idea where they are and if any of this 1976 crap is true, but he's certain that they'll find a solution.
It's not like this place can get weirder than time travel, right?
The End
Characters: John, Rodney (SGA), Miles, Jim (Lost)
Word count: 1386 words, rated Gen
Summary: John never imagined they could crash a jumper on Earth.
Note: Crossover between Stargate Atlantis and Lost. Made for stargateland for the "fancy meeting you here" crossover challenge.
John pushes the button on the remote and hums in satisfaction when the cloak activates and the Puddlejumper disappears. At last something that's working as it should.
"I don't believe this shit," Rodney says, grumbling as he fiddles with this tablet. "The readings are all over the place and I have no idea why. You'd think we're in the middle of a giant electromagnetic field."
"Maybe we are," John says looking around and trying to find his bearings. He thinks that they should head somewhere to his right. Maybe.
"On Earth?" Rodney scoffs. He dismisses the idea completely with a wave. "I don't think so, not with values of this magnitude. We must have been hit by lightning and it fucked all electronics, the tablet was hooked to the console at the time."
John shrugs, though it bugs him: the jumpers are sturdier than that, it shouldn't have been bothered by mere lightning. On the other hand, something had happened allright. The sky had been stormy, then everything had flashed white for a second. After that John had lost control of the jumper but nonetheless managed to crash without anyone getting hurt, which he counted as a success.
"I saw some houses that way," John says, pointing to his right. After the flash he'd been surprised to see a big Island where a minute before he would have sworn there was only empty ocean. Fighting with the controls, John had glimpsed what looked like a village of small houses although they'd crashed a couple of miles farther, in the jungle.
"Good, that's good. Civilization means communications and we'll be able to reach the SGC and ask them to come and get us. At least three crystals blew. But are you sure it's that way?" Rodney says, looking skeptical. "I would have sworn it was that way," he says, pointing straight left.
"And I say that you stay where you are and put your hands where I can see them" a voice says and John swivels around, going for his thigh though he finds only air. Dammit, he hadn't thought he'd need a sidearm on a jumper ride on Earth of all places.
A short man - black hair, probably Asian - dressed in an ugly tan jumpsuit has a rifle aimed at John. His M1 Carbine may be old, but it's deadly none the less. He's frowning, mouth pinched and aims at Rodney when John doesn't move.
"I said I want to see your hands, especially you, Spiky" he repeats, "or Imma shoot him."
"Hey! What did I do to you?" Rodney protests, but he slowly puts his tablet on the ground while John scowls and keeps his own hands chest high, cursing bad guys who understand that menacing him gives no results. He can't risk Rodney being shot, though.
"Okay, okay, let's stay calm. I'm John, this is Rodney. We're no threat, we just need to call for help. Any chance we could find a phone?" John asks with his best soothing voice, tried and tested on many planets.
The guy smirks.
"That could be complicated. Now you're going to walk to the rock over there," he says, pointing to a big boulder twenty feet away. "I'm Miles," he adds as an afterthought.
Rodney stumps his way to the rock muttering about how people are uncivilized even on goddamn Earth, no better than axe wielding natives, and how that's just his luck with the day he's having. John does his best to stay between Rodney and the guy with the gun, who in turn walks towards the tablet. Once he has a good look at it, Miles gapes a little and then his eyes snap back to Rodney.
"Holy shit, that's a computer!" he says, eyes round as saucers.
John's eyebrows raise and Rodney snorts. It's a pretty nifty computer, but no that extraordinary.
"Your limitless powers of observation astound me, really," Rodney quips.
"What year are you from?" Miles asks, as if it isn't the weirdest question ever.
"Awesome. Not only is a guy pointing a firearm at us, he's completely nuts," Rodney says and John knows Rodney puts a mark in the box about how the universe keeps conspiring against him.
"I asked what year it was for you!" Miles says, getting flushed and agitated and John raises his hands again. A pissed off guy with a gun is never good.
"Last time I checked it was 2009," John says. "You?"
Miles snort laughs, though he doesn't seem amused at all.
"2009, huh? Sorry guys, but not here on Craphole Island," Miles announces. "Let me the first to welcome you in 1976."
After this little bomb, Miles brings an old handheld transceiver to his mouth. "Jim? we have a problem."
The thing makes a bit of static and a voice comes on.
"Jim here. What's going on, Yoshi?"
"We have a couple of Marty McFly wannabes on our hands," Miles says, making John perk up. If Miles knows Back to the Future, he can't be from 1976.
"Shit, who is it?"
"No one we know. Well I don't," Miles says. "I'd put money that they've never been here before."
"Of course we've never been here before!" Rodney bitches. "And what's this insanity of being in 1976? We might have had the Olympics that year but I got over Nadia Comaneci years ago, thank you very much."
"Nadia Comaneci?" John says, not following.
"Shut up," Miles says as the guy named Jim asks what is going on.
"Bendy. Very very bendy," Rodney tells John, miming a half circle as if it explains everything. "I'm only human."
"You were eight, McKay. Come on," John says, shaking his head.
"And I'm actually not even born, though my mom's pregnant," Miles says conversationally before aiming at Rodney some more and starting to shout. "Didn't I tell you to shut up? It's very simple: you close your mouth and you don't make a sound. Is that clear?"
He's serious and for once Rodney gets the hint and clicks his mouth shut. John takes a step to be directly in the line of fire and puts his hands on his hips.
"He's shutting up. Right Rodney?"
"I'd be, Colonel, if you didn't make me speak up," Rodney says.
Miles looks up for a second, as if he's praying for patience from heaven. Unfortunately his attention is back on them before John has the opportunity to make a move.
"Oh, God, this is going to be such a pain in the ass, I can sense it. First, lead me to your plane, then we'll go see Jim and decide what to do with you. And if you have any self preservation at all, shut up about where you're from and act it as if you've never been in years after 76."
There's no way John's leading anyone to the jumper, even if Miles is less than 30 feet from it.
"About that," John says, improvising. "It disappeared? I have no idea what is going on here."
Luckily Miles doesn't seem to find this strange. He sighs deeply, picks up the tablet that he puts in his backpack and points to the jungle, straight ahead. Not right, but not left either which would have been embarrassing.
"Just our luck. Okay then, get moving. And remember to keep your mouths shut. Jim's gonna know what to do. Chop chop."
"I didn't even put sunscreen," Rodney says dejectedly, as he starts waking. "And I bet the mosquitoes carry malaria."
John cannot help but chuckle at the outraged sounds Miles makes as his rule is blatantly overlooked, and he falls in step behind Rodney just in case the need to shoot increases.
At the moment John has no idea where they are and if any of this 1976 crap is true, but he's certain that they'll find a solution.
It's not like this place can get weirder than time travel, right?
The End