Fic: "(Together) We'd Rule The World" SGA/Iron Man crossover, NC17, John/Rodney
This, right here, is the first SGA fic idea I ever had, over a year ago. I just got around to write it, and man, it was a blast. It sparked from an exchange I had with crowgirl13 ; I don't know if you remember that babe ;)
Title: (Together) We'd Rule The World
Fandom: Stargate Atlantis and Iron Man crossover
Characters/Pairing: John, Rodney, Tony, Jarvis. Flirting galore, John/Rodney, implied Stark/Rhodes
Warnings: None I can think of. Extreme silliness?
Word count/Rating: 9,700 words, NC17
Notes: I own nothing! Made for fun, not profit. Many thanks to jaydblu for the beta ♥
Summary: Atlantis made an anti-replicator gun order to Stark Industries. John and Rodney are going to Tony Stark's house to see if he made them or not.
(Together) We'd Rule The World
Today, John thinks with satisfaction, is a very good day. The sky is blue, the temperature as close to perfect it can be and the car practically purrs for him as he negotiates the curves on the boulevard. To top it all they're going to get super anti-replicator guns, use them to go kick nanite ass very very soon, and, if all goes well, will avenge Elizabeth. John cannot wait. He grins and looks sideways at Rodney, who's been oddly silent since they left their hotel. At the moment he seems to be looking outside the window at the California coast, but he must be lost in his head because there are no complaints about John driving like a maniac and how they'll fall to their certain doom off a cliff any time now. To be honest, it worries John a bit.
"What's on your mind, Rodney?" John asks.
That seems to snap Rodney from his reverie because he turns to scowl at John.
"About twenty three different things, as usual. Why do you ask stupid questions like that?" Rodney asks, snappish.
Wow, touchy. Not that it's unheard of.
"Okay, then, let me rephrase. Why are you sulking, Rodney?" John says.
"I'm not sulking!" Rodney says, all but spluttering in outrage at the accusation.
"Are too!"
"I am so not," Rodney says, but contradicts himself by crossing his arms over his chest defensively and looking out the window again. "Jesus Christ, Sheppard, do you want to end in a ravine?"
At least he's aware of his surroundings again.
"C'mon Rodney, this is an awesome day." Thinking of their destination, John can't help but smile, giddy. "How many times can you say you're going to meet a real life superhero?"
"Oh my god, not you too! Tony Stark is not a superhero! He's an overgrown annoying child. A, a... a shameless manwhore."
So that's what the problem is. Unsurprisingly, Rodney has a problem with someone who's admired, among other things, for his brain.
"You know him, right?" John asks.
Rodney did mention their paths crossed for a while at MIT years ago, although he never really wanted to talk about it much. Since he usually brags about having met celebrities, all hints point to the fact knowing Tony Stark was not a pleasurable experience.
"Yes."
There, laconism again. So un-Rodney. There's certainly a story behind it: John imagines a big clash of egos.
"I've read about him..." John says.
"Of course you did," Rodney says, almost gritting his teeth.
"Sounds like the man's pretty smart."
Okay, so that's maybe a low blow, going straight for where it should hurt McKay the most, but if John wants to learn anything...
"Oh, he is," Rodney says and John's jaw almost falls open at the admission. "That's the whole tragedy, in fact. He could do so much, but he decided to live like a playboy and become an ironmonger."
So it's jealousy, after all.
"You resent his social life?" John says. Well to be honest, John himself might envy Tony Stark's social life.
"Did you not catch the thing about making guns?" Rodney says, scowling.
John can't really believe Rodney's snit is all about what's right or wrong.
"He doesn't anymore, at least for Earth," John argues. "And frankly it would be hypocritical of me to resent him about that since we've asked him to make us guns!"
"And of course that makes him cool for you. I am so not surprised," Rodney says. He almost seems defeated now.
Is that the matter? That John thinks meeting Iron Man is cool?
"Rodney..." John says, although he doesn't quite know how to finish his sentence. He knows Rodney never really had friends before, not like the ones he made in the last couple of years; sometimes Rodney gets possessive, doesn't want to share the attention. It's very six year old of him.
The voice on the GPS announces that they're near their destination and Rodney's sulking again as John turns into the driveway and approaches the house. Or maybe it should be called a mansion? Whatever the name you'd give it, it looks awesome. John parks their rental near a beautiful Audi R8 and they get out, Rodney grumbling under his breath.
John expects a butler - he'd so get a butler named Alfred if he was Stark, confusion of superheroes be damned - but he's surprised when Tony Stark himself answers the door in jeans and a buttoned down short sleeve shirt. John's first impression is that he's smaller than he seems on TV, but holy shit, hot. Way way hot. Stark immediately zooms on McKay and his wide grin is nothing short of delighted. If Rodney didn't seem enthused about seeing an old acquaintance again, Stark sure makes up for it.
"McKay! Wow, it's been a while," he says, and the way he roams his eyes all over Rodney makes John almost frown.
What the hell?
"Clearly not long enough," Rodney says with a huff, which makes Stark laugh and seem even happier to see him.
Not deterred, Stark all but glomps Rodney for a quick hug, who pats him on the shoulder and again John doesn't like it. Is he feeling Rodney up? That's when Stark's eyes glide to the side and John is casually dissected, evaluated, and in the span of a fraction of a second deemed of interest as he gets a predatory grin. John's pretty sure he's still wearing his clothes, but he feels as if he's just been undressed. Jesus, a look like that could be filed as sexual harassment all on its own.
"Tony Stark, Lieutenant Colonel John Sheppard, fan boy," Rodney says gesturing between them and John almost blushes. That's a low blow from Rodney; he just lost a gazillion cool points with Stark.
They shake hands - and god, that's half a second too much with another look worthy to call the vice squad. John can't help it, it's getting to him in a way that is a little too enjoyable. He tries to deflect Rodney's remark with a shrug.
"Nice to meet you, Mister Stark," John says, then tilt his head towards Rodney. "Don't mind him, he's grumpy today."
Stark smiles.
"When is he not? And please, call me Tony."
"Ha ha ha, yes, why not bond over my character flaws. Can we get in and see if you did anything worthy, Stark, or are we just hanging on your porch all afternoon?" Rodney says.
"What did I just say? Tony," Stark says to Rodney, leaning forward with a smile.
"For the love of god..." Rodney says with a big sigh.
"Tooooony," he insists, biting his lower lip while teasing Rodney and jeez, John has never met someone with that level of charisma before. Annoying a tad, yes, but utterly charming.
"This is ridiculous," Rodney says, rolling his eyes.
John knows first hand that getting Rodney to call you by your first name can be next to impossible and he's sort of smirking at Stark's attempts.
"Tony Tony Tony," Stark sings songs and to John's surprise, Rodney can't help a little twitching of his lips that's almost a smile before throwing his hands in the air.
"Okay, okay. Can we get inside and work, now, Tony?" Rodney asks.
This time, it's John's turn to be miffed because what the fuck? Why does Stark get to be called by his first name when John's known Rodney for years and it never happens? Stark's eyes fall on John as Rodney gets in the house, and he must notice something because he smirks at John before following. When his eyes immediately drop to Rodney's admittedly spectacular ass, John feels the need to take a deep breath.
The interior of the house is as cool as John had thought. Okay, fine, it's practically still exactly like that spread they made in Vanity Fair. He'll admit that he had been curious. But even more fun is that Tony doesn't waste time and leads them downstairs in his workshop where the real cool toys are and THAT never was in a magazine. Stark leads Rodney to a work table, then looks at John again.
"As you've surely heard, I've announced that Stark Industries would not make weapons anymore."
Rodney looks exasperated.
"We knew that, when we asked. Did you do the special order we sent or not?"
"I did because I saw your name on the project," Stark says, gazing back at Rodney. "And because the tests I did showed that it can't harm humans in anyway."
For the first time since they got in, Rodney has a genuine smile. John too, as he knows what it means. Hell yes, with Stark weapons with them, especially if they're effective, they're gonna boot the Asurians' asses.
"Great, that's great. Can I see the plans and schematics?" Rodney asks, almost bouncing.
Stark smiles back, but goes to a box set on one of the worktables and fishes out a device, before turning to them. To John's surprise, it's one of those harmless Ancient kid toys they sometimes find on Atlantis, a cross between a nightlight and a music box. It's inert in Stark's hand as he waves it at them.
"I'll show you everything after you tell me what this is. I know it was sent in the package to get me to consider your project, and it worked," Stark says.
At that Rodney smirks, lifting only one side of his mouth in a way that John knows is glee over having the upper hand.
"I'm sorry, we're not authorized to divulge any information," he says.
If you ask John, that's ridiculous. Stark is helping them make anti-replicator guns and he's Iron Man, for crying out loud. Anytime soon he's going to have to fight aliens on top of Earth's scum, so he'd better be prepared for it.
"It's alien technology," John says, making Stark's attention jump back to him as Rodney protest with a sharp "Sheppard!" John glares at Rodney, who scowls but shuts his mouth.
"I got that from the alloy unlike anything found on Earth," Stark says.
John nods.
"The short version is that we're not alone and some of the aliens we've met are bad guys. The guns are to defend ourselves from the Replicators, who are sneaky son of bitches made of nanites."
Obviously mollified at getting an honest answer, Stark turns the Ancient device in his hands.
"They made this? It's not affected by the weapons I built with Rodney's specifications."
John walks to him and smiles.
"Nah, those are from another Alien race, they're kind of gone now. But some people can operate their technology," he says, before taking the device in his hand. He thinks 'on' at it and the Ancient toy opens like a lotus flower, then starts a soothing melody while it glows blue.
Stark is fascinated, which is a look that's remarkably similar to Rodney's in similar situations, all things considered.
"That's fantastic," he says, delicately taking the music nightlight from John and puts it under a scanner thingy while Rodney sighs.
"Yes, yes, the Colonel's wonder gene makes him able to turn things on with his mind and make them glow blue. How wonderful. I can too, by the way. Can I see the gun now?" Rodney asks.
Stark laughs out loud and he throws a sly grin at John.
"When he turns things on, they glow blue? Interesting." Stark grips the front of his shirt and looks inside at his chest. "Yep, it works."
Rodney rolls his eyes as if exasperated and John can't believe how forward Stark is in his flirting, although he's not making much sense. After a second where Stark's eyes jump from John to Rodney, he seems to take a decision.
"Let me show you something," Stark says.
John raises his eyebrows in disbelief when Stark starts undoing his shirt buttons. Is he stripping? Not that John necessarily wants to protest, but what the hell...
Rodney seems shocked into speechlessness, too. Until Stark finishes unbuttoning his shirt and lets it fall open, that is. There's a circular device in the middle of his chest that glows blue and Rodney is drawn to it like a moth to a flame.
"Oh my god. Is that... Tony?" Rodney says, reverent, and something white hot flares in John's own chest when he touches the device, then prods gently around, on Stark's skin. "A miniature arc reactor?"
"Yes," Stark says, and he's drinking up every expression of Rodney while he observes the little generator, and is visibly pleased at his reaction. There's more than interest in Rodney's brain in that look, that's plain for everyone to see and John clenches his hands in fists. He'd better breathe, since Rodney won't even notice and would not be interested back, anyway.
"That's how you power the suit," Rodney muses. "But why have it embedded in your chest?"
That's a very good question, and if Rodney would stop touching said chest, John would like it very much.
"By an ironic twist of karma, when I was kidnapped in Afghanistan I got hit by shrapnel coming from my own weapons," Stark explains.
Shit. John knows what that means.
"You're a walking dead," he says softly.
Stark smiles at John and drums his fingers on the device.
"With this baby I'll walk for a while," he says with wink.
Rodney's frowning; he probably never heard the expression before.
"What?"
"Tiny bits of shrapnel are making their way towards his heart," John explains.
Stark shrugs, as if it's unimportant, or at least nothing to worry about.
"I'm safe, as long as it's got power."
"How much power are you talking about?" Rodney says.
John knows all about the calculating gleam in Rodney's eyes right now, which are eerily blue in the glow coming from the mini arc reactor. Obviously Stark has seen the look too because he laughs.
"I've shown you because you're a friend, Rodney. Don't even think about it," he says, buttoning up again, and John clenches his teeth at how Rodney protests and reaches out to touch the device again.
"But, but... do you have any idea how this could solve so many of our energy problems?" Rodney says, talking fast and gesticulating.
Before he babbles too much and mentions Atlantis or shields, John speaks up.
"As fascinating as it is, that's not what we're here for. Can we see the guns now, Tony ?" John just can't control the bite in the first name and Stark's smirk when he looks over at him is way too knowing. God. John knows he sounds like a jealous boyfriend but he can't help it.
"Sure," Stark says, walking to a cabinet that opens for him when he passes his hand before a sensor, displaying one very cool looking gun. John steps forward, fascinated at his turn. It's deadly looking and sleek -- black and chrome and a thing of beauty. He reaches to touch it but Rodney slaps his fingers away.
"Ow!" John says, glaring at him.
Rodney's mouth does the unhappy slant and, on his other side, John hears Stark's bark of laughter.
"Oh, stop drooling, Colonel," Rodney says, taking the damn gun himself before putting it on the working table. "I know this is like catnip for you, but I'd like seeing the schematics and how it's made before you try it out."
John just wanted to hold it, see how heavy it is. It's important, too. He looks at the gun forlornly, and thinks not for the first time that Rodney's just not cool sometimes, not wanting to share the good toys.
"Stop pouting, for god's sake," Rodney says, already taking the gun apart. For someone who used to be totally inept with firearms when he first got to Atlantis, Rodney sure knows how to handle them now and as always it does things to John.
Stark takes pity on John and gestures to the room at large.
"Why don't you take a look around?" he suggests. "But don't touch anything."
"Ha, famous last words," Rodney says, eyes not even leaving the gun. "That's mission impossible for Sheppard and got him in a whole lot of trouble for years."
Bummed that he's still getting the last name, John walks to the cars parked by the back wall. Fuck, they are awesome. He's about to reach out and run his fingers on a Saleen S7, but then he stops just short of the bright orange paint, as he doesn't want to get teased by Rodney again. The cars are not what he really wants to see, though, and turning around John spots the Holy Grail: the Iron Man suits. Called to them as if they're ancient technology, John walks over and just gapes for a while, hands deep in his jeans pockets because holy shit.
"Pretty cool, huh?"
John jumps in surprise at Stark's smug voice, coming from pretty much near his ear.
"Totally cool. I think the word I'm looking for is 'wow'," John says, reverent.
"And that's from just looking at it. Imagine flying it," Stark says, seductive, and a shiver of arousal goes down John's spine.
"It's not nice to tease," John says, voice gone rough and shit, what the fuck is his problem? He needs to get his control back.
"I've checked you out, Sheppard," Stark says, way too close in John's space now. "Your file, the part of it I could access at least, says you're an excellent pilot."
"Because I am," John says. If there's one thing he's never been modest about, it's his piloting skills.
Taking a step back, Stark talks aloud as if addressing someone in the room.
"Jarvis? What do you think? He seems about the right height."
"That would be correct, although his weight is lower by 21 pounds," answers a voice with an English accent coming from nowhere and both John and Rodney look up.
"What? Is that... wow. You made your AI sound like Howard Morris," Rodney says, dumbfounded.
Stark grins.
"You're the first to get that. Ironic isn't it?"
This time Rodney laughs out loud, something he rarely does even in Atlantis. John might want to pout for real this time, because it's his job to make Rodney laugh.
"Well, it's fitting that his intelligence would be artificial, since he never shown any in real life," Rodney says, then turns to grin at John. "Morris was a TA at MIT, although I never knew how he even managed to enter the program. Daddy probably bought his way in.
"I was not aware of that fact," the voice says, sounding offended for crying out loud. "I find the humor to be totally inappropriate."
Stark shrugs.
"It amused me."
The voice, when it sounds again, is generically American:
"Are we going to do the test flights today?"
This time Stark rolls his eyes.
"Come on, Jarvis, stop dicking around. And yes, I wish to do some testing, if Colonel Sheppard is interested of course."
When he turns to John, it's with an eyebrow raised in a way that conveys that he's pretty certain that John will be interested. John points to the red and gold suit.
"You want me to try the suit?" John says, surprised he can talk at all because his throat is dry with want.
"Not that one, that's mine." Stark points to the silver one with two belt-fed 9mm caseless submachine guns on the shoulder just beside. "This one."
"What? Are you insane? No way..." Rodney says, spluttering as he walks over.
"Yes," John says, gripping Stark's upper arm, afraid that if he doesn't agree right now, he's going to change his mind. "Yes." That's all he finds to say.
"Sheppard, it's a prototype and it's not the ti-" Rodney says, agitated and he tries to touch John who shakes him off, almost growling. He won't miss his chance because of Rodney's paranoia.
"Shut up Rodney." John's doing his best not to squeeze Starks's arm too much. "It's not a problem. I want to." God does he want to. And Stark knows it too well, smiling that predatory grin again. To be honest, John would not be adverse to slut his way into the suit, and he takes a step forward into Stark's space. "I'd be really grateful if I could help."
The meaning is clear and Stark gets it immediately. Unfortunately, it seems that Rodney buys a clue for once in his life and splutters.
"Oh my god, I don't believe this," he says, before stomping back across the workshop.
John's not sure why Stark winks at him, but he points to the workshop's door.
"I'm convinced. Up one level, turn right and in the first room to your left you'll find something to change into."
John nods and gets on his way, but not before throwing Rodney a look. He's being ignored right now, while Rodney's visibly fuming. He's at a work table, twisting and turning a holographic schematics of the new anti-replicator gun every each way, deconstructing it virtually, and then checking another angle. The gadget is way cool and it's obvious that Rodney's in his element, and while he works his frown smoothes by the second, his frustration with John taking a second place in the face of something fascinating. John would maybe resent that he's so easily replaced in Rodney's attention if he didn't know he'd be sure to hear about this for years. As John reaches the door, Rodney's typing with his left hand on a computer and looks totally at ease with the 3D device. Stark is sauntering back to Rodney and looks amused, even almost fond.
"I see that you're still quick on the uptake, Rodney," he says, and John climbs the stairs two by two, not worried about looking un-cool now that he's out of sight.
The room Stark talked about is a spare bedroom with a full deluxe bathroom. The only clothes in the room, hanged neatly in the closet, are multiple copies of blue... stretch suits? They look a bit like wet suits, supple but robust.
"The required undergarment is fire and shock resistant, a precaution in case of accidental impact or mishap," a disembodied voice says, making John almost jump out of his skin.
"That's not reassuring," John says, and puts a hand on his heart, willing it to calm down.
"The prototype is perfectly safe and ready for test flights. If you are the best person to do those tests is up to debate," Jarvis declares, almost condescending and back with the English accent. It's fitting.
"Why doesn't Stark do them himself?" John asks.
"The suit was custom made for Lieutenant Colonel James Rhodes, who happens to be taller than Mr. Stark." And this explains that. John thinks he knows the guy, has a flash of a bright smile and wide shoulders. John can't help but think that Rhodes is one lucky bastard, getting one of these suits.
"Why doesn't Colonel Rhodes test it, then?" John asks.
"He was scheduled to do so tomorrow."
John just doesn't get why Stark makes him do it, unless it's to mess with McKay. It might be selfish, but John can't bring himself to care that much right now. Rodney will live. It's a bit weird to strip when the AI's attention could be on him, but if John wants to try the suit, he’d better get going. He's about to put his feet in the under-suit legs when he's stopped.
"There must be nothing between this garment and your skin."
John winces before losing the boxers and he has to sit on the bed to start to pull on the suit that's nothing short than a second skin with a whole lot of spandex. He's almost wiggled into the lower part when sound comes on again.
"-se he's good enough a pilot! If you can fly the thing, it's going to be nothing for him. He pilots a ci-- a ton of stuff you would not believe. We didn't come here to play with your toys, that's all. This is what is important."
Rodney's voice comes out loud and clear in the room, obviously on speaker. John frowns.
"What's this?" John asks at no point in particular in the room. It would be easier to have something to focus on to speak to the AI, a hologram maybe, or a TV screen at least.
"Mr. Stark opened the communication channel."
John can hear that, thank you very much. He suspects the AI is being intentionally non-cooperative.
"But why?"
"Why Tony Stark does anything is up to interpretation at the best of times and not something I can extrapolate with accuracy, even if I had data to do cross reference with."
John snorts laugh as he continues to dress up in the stupid under-suit and pays attention to the conversation in the workshop.
"-- good as you say, there's nothing to worry about," Stark says. "Are the gun schematics what you asked for, or not?"
There's some grumbling that John can't catch and Stark laughs.
"See? Nothing in the way to let the nice Colonel have a bit of fun."
"Oh, don't think I don't know you're doing this for yourself, Tony," Rodney says with scorn and John can't help it, he really doesn't like that they are on first name basis. "And I don't care what Sheppard seemed to offer earlier, but you better forget it. It's a big misunderstanding, since he's straight, so don't think you'll get into his pants."
John winces, trying to dress faster, because he's got to go and stop that conversation NOW. Especially since Stark laughs, obviously delighted.
"Straight? Rodney, come on. Please don't tell me your gaydar is still for shit?"
"What, what? Of course he's straight! He was married for god's sake and -"
"Like that means anything. I can assure you Sheppard is at least bisexual," Stark says.
Holy shit, John needs to stop this. He considers running downstairs with the under-suit half on and even tries to pry it off, but unfortunately it's as hard to get out of as to put on. Since he's almost half way in by now, John hurries to finish.
"I'm trying to make a point here. You think he's hot, right?" Stark asks, "And you'd tap that if you had a chance?"
Stark makes no sense right now because Rodney's the one who's straight.
"Well, duh, of course." John freezes. He can't have heard that right. Rodney continues, "but this whole conversation is stupid because there's no chance of getting it on with John Sheppard since he's straight!" Rodney's got the tone of voice of when he's about to blow a gasket.
"And I say he's not. Jesus, you're still as oblivious as in 87," Stark replies.
"What? You're not making any sense, Tony. In fact, you never did."
"Rodney, I tried all I could but direct physical assault to get in your pants while we were at MIT. You never, ever bought a clue."
There's a part of John that's sympathetic, because he knows first hand how that's like. There's another part, though, - and it's winning by a landslide - that is glad Stark never got Rodney. Rodney's silent for a couple of beats too long before the tirade starts.
"You mean the non stop mocking and generally being a nuisance by being always perched over my shoulder was your idea of foreplay?" Rodney all but yells.
John winces, because it's pretty much his own technique.
"It was."
"But Sheppard doesn't... he..." Rodney trails off. "You're wrong. It can't be."
"Rodney, he shot murderous glares at me just for being in your personal space."
There's a long silence after that and John might be not totally in the under-suit but he's going back down in the workshop NOW, Jesus Christ. He almost catches some chest hair as he zips up, running down the stairs. When he enters the room, both Rodney and Stark turn to him, and if Stark looks smug for one reason or another, Rodney looks thoughtful and squints at him. Shit.
"I'm ready!" John says lamely, and it makes Rodney sulk and Tony beam at him, before he gestures him to stand in the middle of a free space, near the armors.
"Okay, so the power source that I installed for now in this suit is limited. I want you to listen to Jarvis if he says it's time to come back. I don't want to lose you and have Rodney on my case for ever and ever."
"No problem," John agrees with a nod.
"Everything is monitored for data collection, and we'll be in radio contact at all times. If something seems weird, say it immediately.
"Yes." John eyes the armor, and if getting in the under-suit was something, he wonders how he'll manage that. "So how does this work, will you help me get in it?"
That's when Tony grins some more.
"Nope, but stay still now, will you?" Stark snaps his fingers, obviously delighted to put on a show. "Work your magic, Jarvis," he says.
The floor opens around John and mechanical arms bring the silver suit closer, taking it apart and fitting it over John in perfect and precise motions, bolting in the boots, legs, chest, arms and John can only look in wonder as it takes less than a minute to cage him in metal. It's one exceptional fate of engineering and John only has one thing to say on the matter, awed:
"Cool."
He sees in his peripheral vision that Rodney has stopped working on the gun and is watching with a bemused and impressed expression too, then gets up and comes closer to observe. The last piece to be put in place is the helmet, and the sound of screws being bolted make the whole getup feel claustrophobic before a screen lights up before his eyes, showing the suit's status report and multiple data from his surroundings. Jarvis' voice sounds in the confined place, almost as if it's directly into his mind.
"Everything alright, sir?"
"Yes," John says, "show me the power available in trust and at all time keep me informed of roll, pitch and yaw."
Graphics appear before his eyes and he evaluates his option before being stopped by a question.
"John?" Rodney says, and wow, that's what it takes so Rodney calls him by his first name? He turns to Rodney and sees how distressed he is and for a moment John feels a bit guilty. "You don't have to do this, you know."
"I know," John says and with the ear mike, he can hear his voice sound all robot-like. It's pretty cool. "I want to, Rodney."
"Of course you do," Rodney huffs, and after a big sigh, "if you could avoid killing yourself..."
"I'll be fine," John says, although his reassuring tone turns out kind of flat in robot speak. He turns to Stark. "Where do I get out?"
Tony points to an opening in a corner.
"Follow the garage ramp, Jarvis will open the doors for you."
He's tempted to nod, but isn't sure if the suit is made for human body language.
"10-4. Ready to launch."
"Be my guest," Stark says.
"May I suggest thrust on one percent to start, sir? It proved to be effective in the past," Jarvis says, and John agrees.
"Ok, but on top of what I asked, show me at all times power, drag, altitude and all objects in a two miles radius."
The screen reconfigures before his eyes, and when he's satisfied, John takes several steps towards the ramp, thrilled to see the suit obeys every single order from his body as if it's a second skin. Then John asks for power and dives forward, using the propellers to plow forward, compensating with the hand trust. The response is instant and the acceleration smooth and steady as he glides from the garage ramp right into the Malibu sky, going up up up in the single most impressive flight rush of his life.
***
Coming back down is one the hardest thing John has done in a while, but the energy levels ask for it and it had to happen sooner or later. John glides back to the basement by the garage entryway again and lands smoothly on the same spot he left. Stark is grinning and invites him to step where the robots await to undo the suit.
"That was mighty impressive, Colonel," Stark says, and John realizes he's addressing the pilot right now with the title, and the flattery does touch home. John's pretty sure it takes a lot to impress a man like Tony Stark.
"If I had known it would have made such a difference in useful data collection, I would have insisted for a professional pilot for test flights before," Jarvis comments, as the armor is quickly disassembled around John.
John grins, adrenaline still running high thought his veins and making him a bit manic.
"Anytime. I mean it. If I'm around, that is," John says.
"Pretty awesome, huh?" Stark says, bouncing a little.
"Oh yeah," John says fervently.
He had gotten hard as soon as he had left ground and John's almost surprised he didn't go over the edge just from the flying and acrobatics he did. John knows the flight under-suit won't hide anything, but he's past shame or caring. He's, in fact, horny as hell. Tony's eyes fall down to his crotch as soon as the metal suit is out of the way, as if he's expecting it, which John supposes he did. The smile at having his suspicions confirmed is knowing and John lets him come near, Stark's eyes searching his face now.
"Does that to me, too," Stark purrs.
He's not offering a hand out loud, but the intent is there anyway. John eyes dart to Rodney, who's been suspiciously silent, sitting with his back to John and Tony and typing furiously on a laptop, shoulders miserably hunched around his ears. It would be easy to go upstairs with Stark, get this need to fuck out of his system and he's sure Rodney wouldn't tell anyone. But if there's any chance that Rodney's interested in John too... John looks back at Stark, who looks more amused than anything.
"You know what you want to do," he says, pointing his chin in Rodney's direction.
Stark doesn't look disappointed at all by John's hesitation, all the contrary. Then, showing a level of discretion that's totally at odds with what John has gathered from the Tony Stark experience so far, he quietly leaves the room. Through the glass John can see him jump up the stairs two by two.
John lets go of all the air in his lungs through his nose. Time to man up, then. He takes a deep breath and turns, walks to Rodney before he loses his nerves and stops at this regular spot, just behind Rodney's shoulder. He can see figures and diagrams on the laptop, and it's not about the gun but data from the test flight he just did.
"See, you didn't have to worry," John says, and Rodney tenses. "Stark wouldn't have let me test it if it was dangerous."
There's a silence, then Rodney says, very softly.
"He wants you, you know."
"I know."
Rodney sags and sighs.
"Then go," Rodney says, as if it's inevitable that if Tony Stark wants you, he's going to have you.
"Nah," John says at his turn, nonchalant and as if it's not a big deal. And it's not, when he thinks about it. Not if he can have something that matters more.
"If that's what you want..." Rodney says, obviously ready to let him go without even a fight or a snide remark.
Due to how Rodney has always acted when John got any interest from other people, it's a pretty big deal. Looking back, all of the cock-blocking takes a different spin, if he considers that Rodney was probably jealous, but never in the way John had presumed. John steps forward, bends down and whispers near Rodney's ear.
"It's not. Even if he did give me a ride in a pilot's wet dream. I've given blowjobs for way less than that."
John feels Rodney shudder at that and fuck, he's too close to resist so John just gets flush with Rodney's back, pressing his erection compressed by the under-suit against Rodney's amazing ass. He's about to die of nerves but every second where Rodney doesn't shake him off emboldens John, especially when Rodney minutely leans back, giving his tacit agreement. Jesus Christ, it wouldn't take much grinding and he'd be right there, John thinks, making a couple of slow experimental movements that send sparks all over his body. He noses at Rodney's neck, which smells awesome, and John is debating if he should lick or bite there, since it's a perfect spot for a mark. Rodney moves his head to the side to give John better access and the fine little hairs on his neck rise in goose bumps.
"God, John," Rodney says, voice unusually husky and to know this is welcome, wanted even, makes John groan as he barely resists humping Rodney like a dog in heat.
Rodney twists on his stool, groping John as he does so to finally pull him close between his thighs, and the next thing John knows they're kissing, hard and urgent and perfect. Kissing Rodney is everything John ever thought it would be and more, mobile mouth and clever tongue, done with a focus that sends shivers all the way to John’s toes. John grips Rodney's shirt like a lifeline, because his knees might just give up on him. Rodney's right hand doesn't stop moving over John, stopping here and there to grope his ass or span between his shoulder blades, the other hand firmly keeping John in place by the back of his neck. They kiss and kiss some more, unable to get enough and if John could crawl into Rodney's skin he would, buzzing all over.
When Rodney breaks the kisses to mouth at John's jaw, pulling him in impossibly closer, John realizes he's making some urgent panting whines, trying to rub against Rodney's thigh.
"Shhhh, shhh," Rodney croons, trying to calm him down.
Rodney brings his hand around, glides it down to John's crotch and grabs his erection through the shiny material, making John rock forward, grunting. God, it feels fantastic, but he needs more.
"You're so fucking hot, John," Rodney whispers.
John thinks he's going to die if he doesn't come soon, he needs it so much.
"Rodney, Rodney, please, please, anything," he says, panting, rubbing against the heel of Rodney's hand and it sends bursts of colors behind John's eyelids.
"Can we get this off?" Rodney asks, trying to pull at the zipper near John's neck.
God, if it was hell to put on, now that he's all sweaty, the fucking under-suit just won't want to come off, John's sure of it. He groans, desperate.
"Fuck, no, dammit! God Rodney, later, later I'll do everything you want, just, just keep..."
And that's when Rodney starts whispering in his ear.
"Yeah, okay, okay, I've got you. It's just that I really really want to blow you right now, John," Rodney says, urgent and John paws at his shoulders, shoving against Rodney's hand with a need that ratchets up his spine. "The things I'll do to you, John, I swear I'll make you lose your mind, you have no idea."
John has absolutely no worries that Rodney is awesome and imaginative in bed and he wants it all.
"Fuck yeah, god, Rodney, I want, I need, please..."
Rodney is rubbing John's erection up and down through the suit, foregoing finesse to be as effective as possible with pressure and it's all John needs. He frames Rodney's face with his hands and kisses him again, fucking Rodney's mouth with his tongue like he wishes he could do with his cock and that's it, he's losing it and coming with frottage only, the release so mind-blowing that his knees actually buckle. John would fall down if Rodney didn't hook a leg around his thighs and grab his upper arm.
Holy shit, that was intense. As in the top ten of all times intense and no one got even a tiny bit naked! This forebodes well for the future, John thinks as he wheezes, relying totally on Rodney for support. When he's come down enough to be aware of his surroundings again, he realizes that Rodney's caressing his back up and down soothingly, but that every pass goes a minute bit lower towards his ass. God he can't wait for the naked part, to feel those hands on his skin. John hums happily and Rodney starts laughing.
"I should have expected that you'd be even more laconic post-coital."
John raises his forehead from Rodney's awesome shoulder and grins at him, then softly gives him a peck on the lips.
"It was awesome."
The happy smile he gets in return is worth it, ten fold.
"You did seem to enjoy," Rodney says, a bit smug.
John wiggles his eyebrows which gives him the you-are-such-a-dork eye roll from Rodney, who then shifts and it makes John remember that there's some unfinished business here. He looks down at Rodney's lap and yeah.
"Little Rodney deserves a little enjoyment too, don't you think?" John asks, wondering the best way to do this. Should he keep the blowjob for later, when they have the time and place to do this properly? But on the other hand, making Rodney come with his mouth would be pretty awesome for a first time, and John has fantasized about this often enough so it seems almost required.
Rodney groans, but it's not of the good kind.
"Let's be clear, here, John. You will never, ever, call my penis Little Rodney again."
It's too easy, Rodney walked right into that one.
"Because it's big?" John says, with his most smartass smile and he gets cuffed behind the head at that, which makes him laugh out loud.
"Oh my god, you're such a child," Rodney says.
But now that he can actually reach and touch, John wants to know everything about Rodney's penis, so he takes the opportunity to do just that. John lowers himself to the ground, on his knees still in between Rodney's legs. He's at exactly the right height to nuzzle and breathe in the amazing smell of Rodney right over the wet spot on his khakis, male and aroused and John's mouth is watering already.
"Oh," Rodney says, speechless for once and John just tears his button and fly open, snakes his hand in the flap of Rodney's boxers and pull out his cock that is definitely nothing to call little. John almost purrs.
"Niiiiice."
He licks it from root to tip and yeah, nice indeed. He can already imagine many many hours of fun with Rodney's dick.
"Holy fuck," Rodney says, and once again the fact that he's pretty much stole Rodney's words make John proud. He decides that he'll aim for incoherent just in case they even come back before this is over. John starts to lick and stroke, but it's not long before even he can't stand the teasing so he sucks Rodney right in, leaning his shape and taste, loving how he has to stretch his mouth around his girth. Rodney makes the most incredibly sexy sounds, needy and a tad desperate, and not even couple of minutes later he's tugging at John's hair.
"John, oh god, John, I, I..."
John sucks harder and his mouth is flooded with the bitter taste of come. He swallows and hums in satisfaction as he slows his movements to ease Rodney through the aftershocks.
"Wow. Wow. Who knew," Rodney says, petting his hair now, as if to be forgiven from pulling it earlier.
With a smile, John lets Rodney's cock slip out and teases.
"That I give decent head?" he asks.
Rodney laughs.
"Very good head. The visuals alone..." Rodney says, dragging his thumb below John's lower lip slowly, and John can't help the shiver that goes does his spine. He's from the school of thought that a blowjob is never totally bad - because heck, blowjob - but to know that Rodney loved it makes him want to preen.
"Sweet," John says, pleased.
"Come here," Rodney says, trying to grip John's upper arm to haul him upright. It's unfortunately hard to get up, with his damn right knee shot for shit that crackles like Rice Krispies, but he manages so without complaining.
Rodney brings him close for a kiss that's less urgent now and so tender it makes something shift and rearrange in John's chest in a way that hurts slightly, but in a good way. He kisses back with all he's got, trying to show how much he wants this, them. When they finally break the kiss Rodney pulls him into a fierce hug, like the ones he's had before but only after almost death experiences. John puts his face in Rodney's neck and hugs back.
When Rodney finally releases him, because he's had his fill or he thinks it would be good to let some air go to their respective lungs, John smiles, happier he's been in forever.
"Yeah. So, wanna catch a movie later?"
He's asking Rodney on a date. A real, honest to god, date. Rodney gets it, smiles wide.
"Yes, I'd like that very much." He rubs his hands on his own pants, and then gestures between him and John. "I approve of this. What do you say that we finish what we're here for and go, hum..."
"See a movie and then go back to the hotel to fuck like rabbits?" John proposes with a leer.
It should not be so adorable that Rodney turns pinks. He nods, with a smile of barely suppressed glee.
"Sounds like a very good plan."
"We'd better call Stark," John says, because he's pretty fond of The Plan too and would like to get on it ASAP.
Rodney looks around, as if he just realized that Stark should be around.
"Where's Tony?"
His first name again, and it's not getting easier for John. But he just got a whole lot of 'John's', so he can be the better man and let it slide.
"He went up when he was done with his matchmaking. He made me listen, earlier, when you guys discussed me being straight or not. I'm pretty sure it was to make me understand you were not totally straight yourself. Which, by the way," John hits Rodney on a shoulder, with a sharp punch of knuckles.
"Ow! What was that for?" Rodney says, looking wounded and rubbing the spot.
"You could have mentioned that you did guys! Jeez!" John says, hands on his hips. The time they lost, it's ridiculous.
"Like you ever did!" Rodney answers, defensive.
John rolls his eyes.
"Come on, Rodney, you know I can't advertise I like cock once in a while!" he says.
Rodney has the decency to look a bit mollified.
"I guess you can't," Rodney says, before finding a bit of self righteousness. "But still, I'm your friend, you could have told me."
With the hybrid of a snort and a laugh, John shakes his head.
"Yeah, tell the apparently straight guy you've had a crush on for years that you like men. That's not awkward at all."
Rodney's eyes jump to his, surprised.
"Years?" he asks with disbelief.
Okay, so telling this particular bit of information was maybe not the best idea and John refrains from a wince. But he can't take it back now, so he rubs his nape.
"Yeah."
"Well maybe my own crush is not... recent either," Rodney says, looking sheepish.
John laughs and Rodney sniggers.
"We're pretty pathetic," Rodney declares.
"Yeah." They so are. John's always been so bad at this, but he's determined to try and make it work. "But it's going to be fine now."
He reaches and cups Rodney's cheek, the touch practically electric once again. John wants nothing more than step forward and take again and by the way Rodney's looking at him, he's not alone.
"The fucker must be filming us right now," Rodney says, eyes finally leaving John to dart around. When he realizes that it's probably done already, his eyes go wide. "Shit, John, what if..."
That's something John had not considered, but so true. John reluctantly steps back, but he's not worried.
"S'okay, I'm sure he's not gonna use it against me," John says.
"He's dead if he tries," Rodney growls and John shouldn't find that sexy.
"Hey, Jarvis!" John says aloud, feeling a bit stupid.
"Colonel?" The AI answers and once again John would like to have something to look at to speak up, this is weird.
"Is Stark on speaker?"
"He is now."
"Get your butt back down here, Tony, we've got work to do," Rodney says, getting up and going back to the 3D model of the gun. John follows and whoa, this is way cool, maybe if he asks nicely they could let him play with it too.
"Already?" Stark's voice rings, amused.
"Ha ha, you're hilarious," Rodney grumbles.
"I know," Stark says but he's coming down the stairs, looking mischievous and giving them an interested once over when he opens the door and get in the workshop. John's pretty glad the frigging under-suit doesn't show the wet spot that he can definitely feel from inside, which all things considered is a bit disgusting.
"All good, John?" Stark teases, sweeping his eyes down and John can't help it, he feels the tip of his ears heat up.
"Never better," he answers with a smile that's got maybe a bit too much teeth, putting a proprietary hand on Rodney's lower back. Mine. Rodney doesn't react but from a minute shift into the touch and if John's not mistaken he's turning a bit pink in the neck, too.
Stark's reaction is to throw his head back and laugh.
"You're adorable," he says and John feels himself turn at least three deeper shades of red.
"What?" Rodney says, turning around, looking between Stark and John, and missing what's going on by a mile. He's always been pretty oblivious. "Could we stop with the nonsense and get this over with, please?"
"Sure thing, Rodney," Stark says, dragging a stool over to sit down beside him, then drags the laptop close to flip back to a screen full of code. "You mentioned that those nanites build tolerance on exposure so I thought of something."
Okay, so John feels casually dismissed right now. Which is fine, he's pretty sure he could not follow anyway, since Rodney and Stark start to speak in half sentences, slipping easily into completing each other's thought at a level that almost reaches the brain communion Rodney and Radek sometimes share.
"I'm gonna go change," he says out loud, getting a ok-go-on-shoo hand wave from Rodney and a wink from Stark. Reassured that Stark doesn't seem to want to make a play for Rodney, John gives him his most shit eating grin before turning around and making his way to the room where his clothes are.
Not surprisingly, the speaker come to life again as he enters the room. If he'd had a five dollar to bet, he'd put it as a way for Stark to keep John informed on what they're working, so he doesn't miss too much as he get cleaned.
"Great catch, pal."
Then again, maybe not.
"What? John? Hey, you better not try to steal him from me now!" Rodney says, sounding worried.
Stark laughs again.
"Nah. I've got a Lieutenant Colonel of my own, if you must know. Rhodey would snap my neck if he'd learn I even touched your precious John."
The info is offered casually, but it's clearly a show of trust. Don't worry, I won't sell you out: I'll watch your back if you watch mine. John manages to unzip the under-suit and getting out of it is as bad as he thought. If the material stuck to his skin earlier, now that he's sweaty and sticky it's almost like duct tape.
"Rhodey? Jim Rhodes? He was with us at MIT, right?" Rodney says.
"Yep, the one and only. The suit John tried is for him," Stark confirms.
"Oh. Oh. It's pretty serious, then. That must be your version of an engagement ring, with bonus danger and mayhem."
Stark's laugh is delighted and John has to smile too.
"Oh, Rodney, no wonder I've always liked you. Seriously, together we'd rule the world."
There's soft sniggering.
"Or blow it up," Rodney says, and yeah, John can see that outcome pretty well.
"Come on, Rodney. Come and work with me," Stark pleads.
Suit now off to the waist, John freezes; his gut almost falls to the ground at Starks proposition. Work with Stark, not for him, it's very clever phrasing. John can imagine how he'd give Rodney everything he asks for to play with and then add fortune, fame and research in a field that's not classified and could bring Rodney that Nobel he wants so much. It's downright terrifying. Rodney sighs.
"Tony, you offer me a job every time my contract with the Army is due; you tried to bribe me countless times, very creatively I must admit, into coming to work for you. But what do I always say?"
"I know, I know, but I'm not doing army gear anymore! Your main argument is now invalid," Stark says.
"I can't," Rodney says, definitive.
John breathes a little more easily.
"I'd hire John as a test pilot, pay you two an obscene amount of money," Stark promises.
"It's still no. Look, I can't tell you much, but what we do is important. I don't want to leave, and certainly John can't. He holds everything together over there."
John thinks Rodney pretty much holds the city afloat against all odds most of the time by sheer force of will, but the words warm him up none the less.
"You're saving Earth from evil aliens a couple of times a week, I bet," Stark says.
"Twice on Sundays."
"Promise me you'll call me as soon as you're tired of your probably very stressful and thankless job," Stark says, sounding resigned.
"Yeah, like working with you would be a walk in the park. We'd be at each other's throat in days," Rodney says.
"I'm not so sure about that," Stark's tone is teasing, and the rest is playful: "We'd be great together."
Rodney makes a surprised squeak.
"Oh my god, tell me you're not hitting on me! John, John, come and save me from this pervert!"
"Hands off, Stark!" John shouts, pretty sure it's going to be relayed. "I know Rhodes, and he's not the only one who could snap your neck!"
He's pretty sure that Stark is only teasing Rodney, though, so there is no need to go to Rodney's rescue.
"Feisty! I like it. Ow, Rodney, sheesh. I like you guys, you're the cutest pair of oblivious fools in love I've seen in a long time." John feels his cheeks heat at the big 4 letter word. Not that he has any ground to deny it. "Do you want the video of your first time as a I-finally-got-a-clue present? I'm sure it's really hot," Stark adds.
"I knew it, I knew you'd hang this over our heads, you insufferable jerk!" Rodney shouts.
There's the sound of the stool screeching on the floor and if John's not mistaken some running around.
"Ow, stop hitting me Rodney! It was a joke, you know I wouldn't..." Stark manages to say between uncontrolled bouts of laughter.
"You're going to erase every single frame of everything you've recorded, from all servers and backups. Do you understand," Rodney hisses.
John agrees with the sentiment, it's the sensible thing to do. But deep down, he'd maybe have liked to have a copy. For, huh, sentimental reasons.
"Whoa, god, owowow! Where did you learn to do arm locks like this?" Stark says, still amused but with an undercurrent of pain. John's tempted to ask Jarvis if there's a video feed, it sounds like a hilarious show.
"Ronon showed me and he's the one I'll let lose on your sorry hide if you even touch one of the ridiculous hair on the top of John's head," Rodney says. "You'll never know what hit you, seriously. Even worse I could send him with Teyla."
It's sad that Stark can't know the level of threat this is. John finally manages to shove the under-suit down his thighs and winces at the mess he made. He'd better take it in the shower to rinse it out.
"Okay, okay, Jesus, let go before you snap my arm off, I need it," Stark says.
"Give me your word," Rodney says. John's surprised he's not making him cry uncle.
"Of course, I'll erase it all. Jarvis, do it now," Stark says.
"The files are now destroyed," Jarvis declares.
"You promise you'll make sure it's all gone?" Rodney asks, intent.
"Yes, I swear," Stark says, then with evident relief: "jeez, you almost popped my shoulder out of its socket."
"Good, maybe you'll take me seriously, for once. Can we work now?"
"I don't know, I think I don't have feeling in my fingers at the moment," Stark almost whines.
"Stop complaining, you wuss. And they call you a superhero?" Rodney says, sounding smug.
"I am, everyone loves me and you're green with jealousy. Admit it," Stark counters, sounding even more insufferable.
John almost starts laughing out loud. Stark sure knows how to rile up Rodney.
"No way," Rodney says, outraged.
John opens the shower doors and gets under the spray that started automatically, drowning the banter. He's going to have to go down there before they start pulling each other's hair, but everything is going to be fine.
Better than fine, in fact. It's going to be downright fantastic, John thinks. He's got Rodney and cool new guns to get the job done. But most of all, Rodney.
John smiles: it doesn't get better than that.
The End
ETA: there is now a short sequel, Unexpected
I hope you enjoyed :)
Note: using for cliche_bingo: crossover TV show/Movie
Title: (Together) We'd Rule The World
Fandom: Stargate Atlantis and Iron Man crossover
Characters/Pairing: John, Rodney, Tony, Jarvis. Flirting galore, John/Rodney, implied Stark/Rhodes
Warnings: None I can think of. Extreme silliness?
Word count/Rating: 9,700 words, NC17
Notes: I own nothing! Made for fun, not profit. Many thanks to jaydblu for the beta ♥
Summary: Atlantis made an anti-replicator gun order to Stark Industries. John and Rodney are going to Tony Stark's house to see if he made them or not.
(Together) We'd Rule The World
Today, John thinks with satisfaction, is a very good day. The sky is blue, the temperature as close to perfect it can be and the car practically purrs for him as he negotiates the curves on the boulevard. To top it all they're going to get super anti-replicator guns, use them to go kick nanite ass very very soon, and, if all goes well, will avenge Elizabeth. John cannot wait. He grins and looks sideways at Rodney, who's been oddly silent since they left their hotel. At the moment he seems to be looking outside the window at the California coast, but he must be lost in his head because there are no complaints about John driving like a maniac and how they'll fall to their certain doom off a cliff any time now. To be honest, it worries John a bit.
"What's on your mind, Rodney?" John asks.
That seems to snap Rodney from his reverie because he turns to scowl at John.
"About twenty three different things, as usual. Why do you ask stupid questions like that?" Rodney asks, snappish.
Wow, touchy. Not that it's unheard of.
"Okay, then, let me rephrase. Why are you sulking, Rodney?" John says.
"I'm not sulking!" Rodney says, all but spluttering in outrage at the accusation.
"Are too!"
"I am so not," Rodney says, but contradicts himself by crossing his arms over his chest defensively and looking out the window again. "Jesus Christ, Sheppard, do you want to end in a ravine?"
At least he's aware of his surroundings again.
"C'mon Rodney, this is an awesome day." Thinking of their destination, John can't help but smile, giddy. "How many times can you say you're going to meet a real life superhero?"
"Oh my god, not you too! Tony Stark is not a superhero! He's an overgrown annoying child. A, a... a shameless manwhore."
So that's what the problem is. Unsurprisingly, Rodney has a problem with someone who's admired, among other things, for his brain.
"You know him, right?" John asks.
Rodney did mention their paths crossed for a while at MIT years ago, although he never really wanted to talk about it much. Since he usually brags about having met celebrities, all hints point to the fact knowing Tony Stark was not a pleasurable experience.
"Yes."
There, laconism again. So un-Rodney. There's certainly a story behind it: John imagines a big clash of egos.
"I've read about him..." John says.
"Of course you did," Rodney says, almost gritting his teeth.
"Sounds like the man's pretty smart."
Okay, so that's maybe a low blow, going straight for where it should hurt McKay the most, but if John wants to learn anything...
"Oh, he is," Rodney says and John's jaw almost falls open at the admission. "That's the whole tragedy, in fact. He could do so much, but he decided to live like a playboy and become an ironmonger."
So it's jealousy, after all.
"You resent his social life?" John says. Well to be honest, John himself might envy Tony Stark's social life.
"Did you not catch the thing about making guns?" Rodney says, scowling.
John can't really believe Rodney's snit is all about what's right or wrong.
"He doesn't anymore, at least for Earth," John argues. "And frankly it would be hypocritical of me to resent him about that since we've asked him to make us guns!"
"And of course that makes him cool for you. I am so not surprised," Rodney says. He almost seems defeated now.
Is that the matter? That John thinks meeting Iron Man is cool?
"Rodney..." John says, although he doesn't quite know how to finish his sentence. He knows Rodney never really had friends before, not like the ones he made in the last couple of years; sometimes Rodney gets possessive, doesn't want to share the attention. It's very six year old of him.
The voice on the GPS announces that they're near their destination and Rodney's sulking again as John turns into the driveway and approaches the house. Or maybe it should be called a mansion? Whatever the name you'd give it, it looks awesome. John parks their rental near a beautiful Audi R8 and they get out, Rodney grumbling under his breath.
John expects a butler - he'd so get a butler named Alfred if he was Stark, confusion of superheroes be damned - but he's surprised when Tony Stark himself answers the door in jeans and a buttoned down short sleeve shirt. John's first impression is that he's smaller than he seems on TV, but holy shit, hot. Way way hot. Stark immediately zooms on McKay and his wide grin is nothing short of delighted. If Rodney didn't seem enthused about seeing an old acquaintance again, Stark sure makes up for it.
"McKay! Wow, it's been a while," he says, and the way he roams his eyes all over Rodney makes John almost frown.
What the hell?
"Clearly not long enough," Rodney says with a huff, which makes Stark laugh and seem even happier to see him.
Not deterred, Stark all but glomps Rodney for a quick hug, who pats him on the shoulder and again John doesn't like it. Is he feeling Rodney up? That's when Stark's eyes glide to the side and John is casually dissected, evaluated, and in the span of a fraction of a second deemed of interest as he gets a predatory grin. John's pretty sure he's still wearing his clothes, but he feels as if he's just been undressed. Jesus, a look like that could be filed as sexual harassment all on its own.
"Tony Stark, Lieutenant Colonel John Sheppard, fan boy," Rodney says gesturing between them and John almost blushes. That's a low blow from Rodney; he just lost a gazillion cool points with Stark.
They shake hands - and god, that's half a second too much with another look worthy to call the vice squad. John can't help it, it's getting to him in a way that is a little too enjoyable. He tries to deflect Rodney's remark with a shrug.
"Nice to meet you, Mister Stark," John says, then tilt his head towards Rodney. "Don't mind him, he's grumpy today."
Stark smiles.
"When is he not? And please, call me Tony."
"Ha ha ha, yes, why not bond over my character flaws. Can we get in and see if you did anything worthy, Stark, or are we just hanging on your porch all afternoon?" Rodney says.
"What did I just say? Tony," Stark says to Rodney, leaning forward with a smile.
"For the love of god..." Rodney says with a big sigh.
"Tooooony," he insists, biting his lower lip while teasing Rodney and jeez, John has never met someone with that level of charisma before. Annoying a tad, yes, but utterly charming.
"This is ridiculous," Rodney says, rolling his eyes.
John knows first hand that getting Rodney to call you by your first name can be next to impossible and he's sort of smirking at Stark's attempts.
"Tony Tony Tony," Stark sings songs and to John's surprise, Rodney can't help a little twitching of his lips that's almost a smile before throwing his hands in the air.
"Okay, okay. Can we get inside and work, now, Tony?" Rodney asks.
This time, it's John's turn to be miffed because what the fuck? Why does Stark get to be called by his first name when John's known Rodney for years and it never happens? Stark's eyes fall on John as Rodney gets in the house, and he must notice something because he smirks at John before following. When his eyes immediately drop to Rodney's admittedly spectacular ass, John feels the need to take a deep breath.
The interior of the house is as cool as John had thought. Okay, fine, it's practically still exactly like that spread they made in Vanity Fair. He'll admit that he had been curious. But even more fun is that Tony doesn't waste time and leads them downstairs in his workshop where the real cool toys are and THAT never was in a magazine. Stark leads Rodney to a work table, then looks at John again.
"As you've surely heard, I've announced that Stark Industries would not make weapons anymore."
Rodney looks exasperated.
"We knew that, when we asked. Did you do the special order we sent or not?"
"I did because I saw your name on the project," Stark says, gazing back at Rodney. "And because the tests I did showed that it can't harm humans in anyway."
For the first time since they got in, Rodney has a genuine smile. John too, as he knows what it means. Hell yes, with Stark weapons with them, especially if they're effective, they're gonna boot the Asurians' asses.
"Great, that's great. Can I see the plans and schematics?" Rodney asks, almost bouncing.
Stark smiles back, but goes to a box set on one of the worktables and fishes out a device, before turning to them. To John's surprise, it's one of those harmless Ancient kid toys they sometimes find on Atlantis, a cross between a nightlight and a music box. It's inert in Stark's hand as he waves it at them.
"I'll show you everything after you tell me what this is. I know it was sent in the package to get me to consider your project, and it worked," Stark says.
At that Rodney smirks, lifting only one side of his mouth in a way that John knows is glee over having the upper hand.
"I'm sorry, we're not authorized to divulge any information," he says.
If you ask John, that's ridiculous. Stark is helping them make anti-replicator guns and he's Iron Man, for crying out loud. Anytime soon he's going to have to fight aliens on top of Earth's scum, so he'd better be prepared for it.
"It's alien technology," John says, making Stark's attention jump back to him as Rodney protest with a sharp "Sheppard!" John glares at Rodney, who scowls but shuts his mouth.
"I got that from the alloy unlike anything found on Earth," Stark says.
John nods.
"The short version is that we're not alone and some of the aliens we've met are bad guys. The guns are to defend ourselves from the Replicators, who are sneaky son of bitches made of nanites."
Obviously mollified at getting an honest answer, Stark turns the Ancient device in his hands.
"They made this? It's not affected by the weapons I built with Rodney's specifications."
John walks to him and smiles.
"Nah, those are from another Alien race, they're kind of gone now. But some people can operate their technology," he says, before taking the device in his hand. He thinks 'on' at it and the Ancient toy opens like a lotus flower, then starts a soothing melody while it glows blue.
Stark is fascinated, which is a look that's remarkably similar to Rodney's in similar situations, all things considered.
"That's fantastic," he says, delicately taking the music nightlight from John and puts it under a scanner thingy while Rodney sighs.
"Yes, yes, the Colonel's wonder gene makes him able to turn things on with his mind and make them glow blue. How wonderful. I can too, by the way. Can I see the gun now?" Rodney asks.
Stark laughs out loud and he throws a sly grin at John.
"When he turns things on, they glow blue? Interesting." Stark grips the front of his shirt and looks inside at his chest. "Yep, it works."
Rodney rolls his eyes as if exasperated and John can't believe how forward Stark is in his flirting, although he's not making much sense. After a second where Stark's eyes jump from John to Rodney, he seems to take a decision.
"Let me show you something," Stark says.
John raises his eyebrows in disbelief when Stark starts undoing his shirt buttons. Is he stripping? Not that John necessarily wants to protest, but what the hell...
Rodney seems shocked into speechlessness, too. Until Stark finishes unbuttoning his shirt and lets it fall open, that is. There's a circular device in the middle of his chest that glows blue and Rodney is drawn to it like a moth to a flame.
"Oh my god. Is that... Tony?" Rodney says, reverent, and something white hot flares in John's own chest when he touches the device, then prods gently around, on Stark's skin. "A miniature arc reactor?"
"Yes," Stark says, and he's drinking up every expression of Rodney while he observes the little generator, and is visibly pleased at his reaction. There's more than interest in Rodney's brain in that look, that's plain for everyone to see and John clenches his hands in fists. He'd better breathe, since Rodney won't even notice and would not be interested back, anyway.
"That's how you power the suit," Rodney muses. "But why have it embedded in your chest?"
That's a very good question, and if Rodney would stop touching said chest, John would like it very much.
"By an ironic twist of karma, when I was kidnapped in Afghanistan I got hit by shrapnel coming from my own weapons," Stark explains.
Shit. John knows what that means.
"You're a walking dead," he says softly.
Stark smiles at John and drums his fingers on the device.
"With this baby I'll walk for a while," he says with wink.
Rodney's frowning; he probably never heard the expression before.
"What?"
"Tiny bits of shrapnel are making their way towards his heart," John explains.
Stark shrugs, as if it's unimportant, or at least nothing to worry about.
"I'm safe, as long as it's got power."
"How much power are you talking about?" Rodney says.
John knows all about the calculating gleam in Rodney's eyes right now, which are eerily blue in the glow coming from the mini arc reactor. Obviously Stark has seen the look too because he laughs.
"I've shown you because you're a friend, Rodney. Don't even think about it," he says, buttoning up again, and John clenches his teeth at how Rodney protests and reaches out to touch the device again.
"But, but... do you have any idea how this could solve so many of our energy problems?" Rodney says, talking fast and gesticulating.
Before he babbles too much and mentions Atlantis or shields, John speaks up.
"As fascinating as it is, that's not what we're here for. Can we see the guns now, Tony ?" John just can't control the bite in the first name and Stark's smirk when he looks over at him is way too knowing. God. John knows he sounds like a jealous boyfriend but he can't help it.
"Sure," Stark says, walking to a cabinet that opens for him when he passes his hand before a sensor, displaying one very cool looking gun. John steps forward, fascinated at his turn. It's deadly looking and sleek -- black and chrome and a thing of beauty. He reaches to touch it but Rodney slaps his fingers away.
"Ow!" John says, glaring at him.
Rodney's mouth does the unhappy slant and, on his other side, John hears Stark's bark of laughter.
"Oh, stop drooling, Colonel," Rodney says, taking the damn gun himself before putting it on the working table. "I know this is like catnip for you, but I'd like seeing the schematics and how it's made before you try it out."
John just wanted to hold it, see how heavy it is. It's important, too. He looks at the gun forlornly, and thinks not for the first time that Rodney's just not cool sometimes, not wanting to share the good toys.
"Stop pouting, for god's sake," Rodney says, already taking the gun apart. For someone who used to be totally inept with firearms when he first got to Atlantis, Rodney sure knows how to handle them now and as always it does things to John.
Stark takes pity on John and gestures to the room at large.
"Why don't you take a look around?" he suggests. "But don't touch anything."
"Ha, famous last words," Rodney says, eyes not even leaving the gun. "That's mission impossible for Sheppard and got him in a whole lot of trouble for years."
Bummed that he's still getting the last name, John walks to the cars parked by the back wall. Fuck, they are awesome. He's about to reach out and run his fingers on a Saleen S7, but then he stops just short of the bright orange paint, as he doesn't want to get teased by Rodney again. The cars are not what he really wants to see, though, and turning around John spots the Holy Grail: the Iron Man suits. Called to them as if they're ancient technology, John walks over and just gapes for a while, hands deep in his jeans pockets because holy shit.
"Pretty cool, huh?"
John jumps in surprise at Stark's smug voice, coming from pretty much near his ear.
"Totally cool. I think the word I'm looking for is 'wow'," John says, reverent.
"And that's from just looking at it. Imagine flying it," Stark says, seductive, and a shiver of arousal goes down John's spine.
"It's not nice to tease," John says, voice gone rough and shit, what the fuck is his problem? He needs to get his control back.
"I've checked you out, Sheppard," Stark says, way too close in John's space now. "Your file, the part of it I could access at least, says you're an excellent pilot."
"Because I am," John says. If there's one thing he's never been modest about, it's his piloting skills.
Taking a step back, Stark talks aloud as if addressing someone in the room.
"Jarvis? What do you think? He seems about the right height."
"That would be correct, although his weight is lower by 21 pounds," answers a voice with an English accent coming from nowhere and both John and Rodney look up.
"What? Is that... wow. You made your AI sound like Howard Morris," Rodney says, dumbfounded.
Stark grins.
"You're the first to get that. Ironic isn't it?"
This time Rodney laughs out loud, something he rarely does even in Atlantis. John might want to pout for real this time, because it's his job to make Rodney laugh.
"Well, it's fitting that his intelligence would be artificial, since he never shown any in real life," Rodney says, then turns to grin at John. "Morris was a TA at MIT, although I never knew how he even managed to enter the program. Daddy probably bought his way in.
"I was not aware of that fact," the voice says, sounding offended for crying out loud. "I find the humor to be totally inappropriate."
Stark shrugs.
"It amused me."
The voice, when it sounds again, is generically American:
"Are we going to do the test flights today?"
This time Stark rolls his eyes.
"Come on, Jarvis, stop dicking around. And yes, I wish to do some testing, if Colonel Sheppard is interested of course."
When he turns to John, it's with an eyebrow raised in a way that conveys that he's pretty certain that John will be interested. John points to the red and gold suit.
"You want me to try the suit?" John says, surprised he can talk at all because his throat is dry with want.
"Not that one, that's mine." Stark points to the silver one with two belt-fed 9mm caseless submachine guns on the shoulder just beside. "This one."
"What? Are you insane? No way..." Rodney says, spluttering as he walks over.
"Yes," John says, gripping Stark's upper arm, afraid that if he doesn't agree right now, he's going to change his mind. "Yes." That's all he finds to say.
"Sheppard, it's a prototype and it's not the ti-" Rodney says, agitated and he tries to touch John who shakes him off, almost growling. He won't miss his chance because of Rodney's paranoia.
"Shut up Rodney." John's doing his best not to squeeze Starks's arm too much. "It's not a problem. I want to." God does he want to. And Stark knows it too well, smiling that predatory grin again. To be honest, John would not be adverse to slut his way into the suit, and he takes a step forward into Stark's space. "I'd be really grateful if I could help."
The meaning is clear and Stark gets it immediately. Unfortunately, it seems that Rodney buys a clue for once in his life and splutters.
"Oh my god, I don't believe this," he says, before stomping back across the workshop.
John's not sure why Stark winks at him, but he points to the workshop's door.
"I'm convinced. Up one level, turn right and in the first room to your left you'll find something to change into."
John nods and gets on his way, but not before throwing Rodney a look. He's being ignored right now, while Rodney's visibly fuming. He's at a work table, twisting and turning a holographic schematics of the new anti-replicator gun every each way, deconstructing it virtually, and then checking another angle. The gadget is way cool and it's obvious that Rodney's in his element, and while he works his frown smoothes by the second, his frustration with John taking a second place in the face of something fascinating. John would maybe resent that he's so easily replaced in Rodney's attention if he didn't know he'd be sure to hear about this for years. As John reaches the door, Rodney's typing with his left hand on a computer and looks totally at ease with the 3D device. Stark is sauntering back to Rodney and looks amused, even almost fond.
"I see that you're still quick on the uptake, Rodney," he says, and John climbs the stairs two by two, not worried about looking un-cool now that he's out of sight.
The room Stark talked about is a spare bedroom with a full deluxe bathroom. The only clothes in the room, hanged neatly in the closet, are multiple copies of blue... stretch suits? They look a bit like wet suits, supple but robust.
"The required undergarment is fire and shock resistant, a precaution in case of accidental impact or mishap," a disembodied voice says, making John almost jump out of his skin.
"That's not reassuring," John says, and puts a hand on his heart, willing it to calm down.
"The prototype is perfectly safe and ready for test flights. If you are the best person to do those tests is up to debate," Jarvis declares, almost condescending and back with the English accent. It's fitting.
"Why doesn't Stark do them himself?" John asks.
"The suit was custom made for Lieutenant Colonel James Rhodes, who happens to be taller than Mr. Stark." And this explains that. John thinks he knows the guy, has a flash of a bright smile and wide shoulders. John can't help but think that Rhodes is one lucky bastard, getting one of these suits.
"Why doesn't Colonel Rhodes test it, then?" John asks.
"He was scheduled to do so tomorrow."
John just doesn't get why Stark makes him do it, unless it's to mess with McKay. It might be selfish, but John can't bring himself to care that much right now. Rodney will live. It's a bit weird to strip when the AI's attention could be on him, but if John wants to try the suit, he’d better get going. He's about to put his feet in the under-suit legs when he's stopped.
"There must be nothing between this garment and your skin."
John winces before losing the boxers and he has to sit on the bed to start to pull on the suit that's nothing short than a second skin with a whole lot of spandex. He's almost wiggled into the lower part when sound comes on again.
"-se he's good enough a pilot! If you can fly the thing, it's going to be nothing for him. He pilots a ci-- a ton of stuff you would not believe. We didn't come here to play with your toys, that's all. This is what is important."
Rodney's voice comes out loud and clear in the room, obviously on speaker. John frowns.
"What's this?" John asks at no point in particular in the room. It would be easier to have something to focus on to speak to the AI, a hologram maybe, or a TV screen at least.
"Mr. Stark opened the communication channel."
John can hear that, thank you very much. He suspects the AI is being intentionally non-cooperative.
"But why?"
"Why Tony Stark does anything is up to interpretation at the best of times and not something I can extrapolate with accuracy, even if I had data to do cross reference with."
John snorts laugh as he continues to dress up in the stupid under-suit and pays attention to the conversation in the workshop.
"-- good as you say, there's nothing to worry about," Stark says. "Are the gun schematics what you asked for, or not?"
There's some grumbling that John can't catch and Stark laughs.
"See? Nothing in the way to let the nice Colonel have a bit of fun."
"Oh, don't think I don't know you're doing this for yourself, Tony," Rodney says with scorn and John can't help it, he really doesn't like that they are on first name basis. "And I don't care what Sheppard seemed to offer earlier, but you better forget it. It's a big misunderstanding, since he's straight, so don't think you'll get into his pants."
John winces, trying to dress faster, because he's got to go and stop that conversation NOW. Especially since Stark laughs, obviously delighted.
"Straight? Rodney, come on. Please don't tell me your gaydar is still for shit?"
"What, what? Of course he's straight! He was married for god's sake and -"
"Like that means anything. I can assure you Sheppard is at least bisexual," Stark says.
Holy shit, John needs to stop this. He considers running downstairs with the under-suit half on and even tries to pry it off, but unfortunately it's as hard to get out of as to put on. Since he's almost half way in by now, John hurries to finish.
"I'm trying to make a point here. You think he's hot, right?" Stark asks, "And you'd tap that if you had a chance?"
Stark makes no sense right now because Rodney's the one who's straight.
"Well, duh, of course." John freezes. He can't have heard that right. Rodney continues, "but this whole conversation is stupid because there's no chance of getting it on with John Sheppard since he's straight!" Rodney's got the tone of voice of when he's about to blow a gasket.
"And I say he's not. Jesus, you're still as oblivious as in 87," Stark replies.
"What? You're not making any sense, Tony. In fact, you never did."
"Rodney, I tried all I could but direct physical assault to get in your pants while we were at MIT. You never, ever bought a clue."
There's a part of John that's sympathetic, because he knows first hand how that's like. There's another part, though, - and it's winning by a landslide - that is glad Stark never got Rodney. Rodney's silent for a couple of beats too long before the tirade starts.
"You mean the non stop mocking and generally being a nuisance by being always perched over my shoulder was your idea of foreplay?" Rodney all but yells.
John winces, because it's pretty much his own technique.
"It was."
"But Sheppard doesn't... he..." Rodney trails off. "You're wrong. It can't be."
"Rodney, he shot murderous glares at me just for being in your personal space."
There's a long silence after that and John might be not totally in the under-suit but he's going back down in the workshop NOW, Jesus Christ. He almost catches some chest hair as he zips up, running down the stairs. When he enters the room, both Rodney and Stark turn to him, and if Stark looks smug for one reason or another, Rodney looks thoughtful and squints at him. Shit.
"I'm ready!" John says lamely, and it makes Rodney sulk and Tony beam at him, before he gestures him to stand in the middle of a free space, near the armors.
"Okay, so the power source that I installed for now in this suit is limited. I want you to listen to Jarvis if he says it's time to come back. I don't want to lose you and have Rodney on my case for ever and ever."
"No problem," John agrees with a nod.
"Everything is monitored for data collection, and we'll be in radio contact at all times. If something seems weird, say it immediately.
"Yes." John eyes the armor, and if getting in the under-suit was something, he wonders how he'll manage that. "So how does this work, will you help me get in it?"
That's when Tony grins some more.
"Nope, but stay still now, will you?" Stark snaps his fingers, obviously delighted to put on a show. "Work your magic, Jarvis," he says.
The floor opens around John and mechanical arms bring the silver suit closer, taking it apart and fitting it over John in perfect and precise motions, bolting in the boots, legs, chest, arms and John can only look in wonder as it takes less than a minute to cage him in metal. It's one exceptional fate of engineering and John only has one thing to say on the matter, awed:
"Cool."
He sees in his peripheral vision that Rodney has stopped working on the gun and is watching with a bemused and impressed expression too, then gets up and comes closer to observe. The last piece to be put in place is the helmet, and the sound of screws being bolted make the whole getup feel claustrophobic before a screen lights up before his eyes, showing the suit's status report and multiple data from his surroundings. Jarvis' voice sounds in the confined place, almost as if it's directly into his mind.
"Everything alright, sir?"
"Yes," John says, "show me the power available in trust and at all time keep me informed of roll, pitch and yaw."
Graphics appear before his eyes and he evaluates his option before being stopped by a question.
"John?" Rodney says, and wow, that's what it takes so Rodney calls him by his first name? He turns to Rodney and sees how distressed he is and for a moment John feels a bit guilty. "You don't have to do this, you know."
"I know," John says and with the ear mike, he can hear his voice sound all robot-like. It's pretty cool. "I want to, Rodney."
"Of course you do," Rodney huffs, and after a big sigh, "if you could avoid killing yourself..."
"I'll be fine," John says, although his reassuring tone turns out kind of flat in robot speak. He turns to Stark. "Where do I get out?"
Tony points to an opening in a corner.
"Follow the garage ramp, Jarvis will open the doors for you."
He's tempted to nod, but isn't sure if the suit is made for human body language.
"10-4. Ready to launch."
"Be my guest," Stark says.
"May I suggest thrust on one percent to start, sir? It proved to be effective in the past," Jarvis says, and John agrees.
"Ok, but on top of what I asked, show me at all times power, drag, altitude and all objects in a two miles radius."
The screen reconfigures before his eyes, and when he's satisfied, John takes several steps towards the ramp, thrilled to see the suit obeys every single order from his body as if it's a second skin. Then John asks for power and dives forward, using the propellers to plow forward, compensating with the hand trust. The response is instant and the acceleration smooth and steady as he glides from the garage ramp right into the Malibu sky, going up up up in the single most impressive flight rush of his life.
***
Coming back down is one the hardest thing John has done in a while, but the energy levels ask for it and it had to happen sooner or later. John glides back to the basement by the garage entryway again and lands smoothly on the same spot he left. Stark is grinning and invites him to step where the robots await to undo the suit.
"That was mighty impressive, Colonel," Stark says, and John realizes he's addressing the pilot right now with the title, and the flattery does touch home. John's pretty sure it takes a lot to impress a man like Tony Stark.
"If I had known it would have made such a difference in useful data collection, I would have insisted for a professional pilot for test flights before," Jarvis comments, as the armor is quickly disassembled around John.
John grins, adrenaline still running high thought his veins and making him a bit manic.
"Anytime. I mean it. If I'm around, that is," John says.
"Pretty awesome, huh?" Stark says, bouncing a little.
"Oh yeah," John says fervently.
He had gotten hard as soon as he had left ground and John's almost surprised he didn't go over the edge just from the flying and acrobatics he did. John knows the flight under-suit won't hide anything, but he's past shame or caring. He's, in fact, horny as hell. Tony's eyes fall down to his crotch as soon as the metal suit is out of the way, as if he's expecting it, which John supposes he did. The smile at having his suspicions confirmed is knowing and John lets him come near, Stark's eyes searching his face now.
"Does that to me, too," Stark purrs.
He's not offering a hand out loud, but the intent is there anyway. John eyes dart to Rodney, who's been suspiciously silent, sitting with his back to John and Tony and typing furiously on a laptop, shoulders miserably hunched around his ears. It would be easy to go upstairs with Stark, get this need to fuck out of his system and he's sure Rodney wouldn't tell anyone. But if there's any chance that Rodney's interested in John too... John looks back at Stark, who looks more amused than anything.
"You know what you want to do," he says, pointing his chin in Rodney's direction.
Stark doesn't look disappointed at all by John's hesitation, all the contrary. Then, showing a level of discretion that's totally at odds with what John has gathered from the Tony Stark experience so far, he quietly leaves the room. Through the glass John can see him jump up the stairs two by two.
John lets go of all the air in his lungs through his nose. Time to man up, then. He takes a deep breath and turns, walks to Rodney before he loses his nerves and stops at this regular spot, just behind Rodney's shoulder. He can see figures and diagrams on the laptop, and it's not about the gun but data from the test flight he just did.
"See, you didn't have to worry," John says, and Rodney tenses. "Stark wouldn't have let me test it if it was dangerous."
There's a silence, then Rodney says, very softly.
"He wants you, you know."
"I know."
Rodney sags and sighs.
"Then go," Rodney says, as if it's inevitable that if Tony Stark wants you, he's going to have you.
"Nah," John says at his turn, nonchalant and as if it's not a big deal. And it's not, when he thinks about it. Not if he can have something that matters more.
"If that's what you want..." Rodney says, obviously ready to let him go without even a fight or a snide remark.
Due to how Rodney has always acted when John got any interest from other people, it's a pretty big deal. Looking back, all of the cock-blocking takes a different spin, if he considers that Rodney was probably jealous, but never in the way John had presumed. John steps forward, bends down and whispers near Rodney's ear.
"It's not. Even if he did give me a ride in a pilot's wet dream. I've given blowjobs for way less than that."
John feels Rodney shudder at that and fuck, he's too close to resist so John just gets flush with Rodney's back, pressing his erection compressed by the under-suit against Rodney's amazing ass. He's about to die of nerves but every second where Rodney doesn't shake him off emboldens John, especially when Rodney minutely leans back, giving his tacit agreement. Jesus Christ, it wouldn't take much grinding and he'd be right there, John thinks, making a couple of slow experimental movements that send sparks all over his body. He noses at Rodney's neck, which smells awesome, and John is debating if he should lick or bite there, since it's a perfect spot for a mark. Rodney moves his head to the side to give John better access and the fine little hairs on his neck rise in goose bumps.
"God, John," Rodney says, voice unusually husky and to know this is welcome, wanted even, makes John groan as he barely resists humping Rodney like a dog in heat.
Rodney twists on his stool, groping John as he does so to finally pull him close between his thighs, and the next thing John knows they're kissing, hard and urgent and perfect. Kissing Rodney is everything John ever thought it would be and more, mobile mouth and clever tongue, done with a focus that sends shivers all the way to John’s toes. John grips Rodney's shirt like a lifeline, because his knees might just give up on him. Rodney's right hand doesn't stop moving over John, stopping here and there to grope his ass or span between his shoulder blades, the other hand firmly keeping John in place by the back of his neck. They kiss and kiss some more, unable to get enough and if John could crawl into Rodney's skin he would, buzzing all over.
When Rodney breaks the kisses to mouth at John's jaw, pulling him in impossibly closer, John realizes he's making some urgent panting whines, trying to rub against Rodney's thigh.
"Shhhh, shhh," Rodney croons, trying to calm him down.
Rodney brings his hand around, glides it down to John's crotch and grabs his erection through the shiny material, making John rock forward, grunting. God, it feels fantastic, but he needs more.
"You're so fucking hot, John," Rodney whispers.
John thinks he's going to die if he doesn't come soon, he needs it so much.
"Rodney, Rodney, please, please, anything," he says, panting, rubbing against the heel of Rodney's hand and it sends bursts of colors behind John's eyelids.
"Can we get this off?" Rodney asks, trying to pull at the zipper near John's neck.
God, if it was hell to put on, now that he's all sweaty, the fucking under-suit just won't want to come off, John's sure of it. He groans, desperate.
"Fuck, no, dammit! God Rodney, later, later I'll do everything you want, just, just keep..."
And that's when Rodney starts whispering in his ear.
"Yeah, okay, okay, I've got you. It's just that I really really want to blow you right now, John," Rodney says, urgent and John paws at his shoulders, shoving against Rodney's hand with a need that ratchets up his spine. "The things I'll do to you, John, I swear I'll make you lose your mind, you have no idea."
John has absolutely no worries that Rodney is awesome and imaginative in bed and he wants it all.
"Fuck yeah, god, Rodney, I want, I need, please..."
Rodney is rubbing John's erection up and down through the suit, foregoing finesse to be as effective as possible with pressure and it's all John needs. He frames Rodney's face with his hands and kisses him again, fucking Rodney's mouth with his tongue like he wishes he could do with his cock and that's it, he's losing it and coming with frottage only, the release so mind-blowing that his knees actually buckle. John would fall down if Rodney didn't hook a leg around his thighs and grab his upper arm.
Holy shit, that was intense. As in the top ten of all times intense and no one got even a tiny bit naked! This forebodes well for the future, John thinks as he wheezes, relying totally on Rodney for support. When he's come down enough to be aware of his surroundings again, he realizes that Rodney's caressing his back up and down soothingly, but that every pass goes a minute bit lower towards his ass. God he can't wait for the naked part, to feel those hands on his skin. John hums happily and Rodney starts laughing.
"I should have expected that you'd be even more laconic post-coital."
John raises his forehead from Rodney's awesome shoulder and grins at him, then softly gives him a peck on the lips.
"It was awesome."
The happy smile he gets in return is worth it, ten fold.
"You did seem to enjoy," Rodney says, a bit smug.
John wiggles his eyebrows which gives him the you-are-such-a-dork eye roll from Rodney, who then shifts and it makes John remember that there's some unfinished business here. He looks down at Rodney's lap and yeah.
"Little Rodney deserves a little enjoyment too, don't you think?" John asks, wondering the best way to do this. Should he keep the blowjob for later, when they have the time and place to do this properly? But on the other hand, making Rodney come with his mouth would be pretty awesome for a first time, and John has fantasized about this often enough so it seems almost required.
Rodney groans, but it's not of the good kind.
"Let's be clear, here, John. You will never, ever, call my penis Little Rodney again."
It's too easy, Rodney walked right into that one.
"Because it's big?" John says, with his most smartass smile and he gets cuffed behind the head at that, which makes him laugh out loud.
"Oh my god, you're such a child," Rodney says.
But now that he can actually reach and touch, John wants to know everything about Rodney's penis, so he takes the opportunity to do just that. John lowers himself to the ground, on his knees still in between Rodney's legs. He's at exactly the right height to nuzzle and breathe in the amazing smell of Rodney right over the wet spot on his khakis, male and aroused and John's mouth is watering already.
"Oh," Rodney says, speechless for once and John just tears his button and fly open, snakes his hand in the flap of Rodney's boxers and pull out his cock that is definitely nothing to call little. John almost purrs.
"Niiiiice."
He licks it from root to tip and yeah, nice indeed. He can already imagine many many hours of fun with Rodney's dick.
"Holy fuck," Rodney says, and once again the fact that he's pretty much stole Rodney's words make John proud. He decides that he'll aim for incoherent just in case they even come back before this is over. John starts to lick and stroke, but it's not long before even he can't stand the teasing so he sucks Rodney right in, leaning his shape and taste, loving how he has to stretch his mouth around his girth. Rodney makes the most incredibly sexy sounds, needy and a tad desperate, and not even couple of minutes later he's tugging at John's hair.
"John, oh god, John, I, I..."
John sucks harder and his mouth is flooded with the bitter taste of come. He swallows and hums in satisfaction as he slows his movements to ease Rodney through the aftershocks.
"Wow. Wow. Who knew," Rodney says, petting his hair now, as if to be forgiven from pulling it earlier.
With a smile, John lets Rodney's cock slip out and teases.
"That I give decent head?" he asks.
Rodney laughs.
"Very good head. The visuals alone..." Rodney says, dragging his thumb below John's lower lip slowly, and John can't help the shiver that goes does his spine. He's from the school of thought that a blowjob is never totally bad - because heck, blowjob - but to know that Rodney loved it makes him want to preen.
"Sweet," John says, pleased.
"Come here," Rodney says, trying to grip John's upper arm to haul him upright. It's unfortunately hard to get up, with his damn right knee shot for shit that crackles like Rice Krispies, but he manages so without complaining.
Rodney brings him close for a kiss that's less urgent now and so tender it makes something shift and rearrange in John's chest in a way that hurts slightly, but in a good way. He kisses back with all he's got, trying to show how much he wants this, them. When they finally break the kiss Rodney pulls him into a fierce hug, like the ones he's had before but only after almost death experiences. John puts his face in Rodney's neck and hugs back.
When Rodney finally releases him, because he's had his fill or he thinks it would be good to let some air go to their respective lungs, John smiles, happier he's been in forever.
"Yeah. So, wanna catch a movie later?"
He's asking Rodney on a date. A real, honest to god, date. Rodney gets it, smiles wide.
"Yes, I'd like that very much." He rubs his hands on his own pants, and then gestures between him and John. "I approve of this. What do you say that we finish what we're here for and go, hum..."
"See a movie and then go back to the hotel to fuck like rabbits?" John proposes with a leer.
It should not be so adorable that Rodney turns pinks. He nods, with a smile of barely suppressed glee.
"Sounds like a very good plan."
"We'd better call Stark," John says, because he's pretty fond of The Plan too and would like to get on it ASAP.
Rodney looks around, as if he just realized that Stark should be around.
"Where's Tony?"
His first name again, and it's not getting easier for John. But he just got a whole lot of 'John's', so he can be the better man and let it slide.
"He went up when he was done with his matchmaking. He made me listen, earlier, when you guys discussed me being straight or not. I'm pretty sure it was to make me understand you were not totally straight yourself. Which, by the way," John hits Rodney on a shoulder, with a sharp punch of knuckles.
"Ow! What was that for?" Rodney says, looking wounded and rubbing the spot.
"You could have mentioned that you did guys! Jeez!" John says, hands on his hips. The time they lost, it's ridiculous.
"Like you ever did!" Rodney answers, defensive.
John rolls his eyes.
"Come on, Rodney, you know I can't advertise I like cock once in a while!" he says.
Rodney has the decency to look a bit mollified.
"I guess you can't," Rodney says, before finding a bit of self righteousness. "But still, I'm your friend, you could have told me."
With the hybrid of a snort and a laugh, John shakes his head.
"Yeah, tell the apparently straight guy you've had a crush on for years that you like men. That's not awkward at all."
Rodney's eyes jump to his, surprised.
"Years?" he asks with disbelief.
Okay, so telling this particular bit of information was maybe not the best idea and John refrains from a wince. But he can't take it back now, so he rubs his nape.
"Yeah."
"Well maybe my own crush is not... recent either," Rodney says, looking sheepish.
John laughs and Rodney sniggers.
"We're pretty pathetic," Rodney declares.
"Yeah." They so are. John's always been so bad at this, but he's determined to try and make it work. "But it's going to be fine now."
He reaches and cups Rodney's cheek, the touch practically electric once again. John wants nothing more than step forward and take again and by the way Rodney's looking at him, he's not alone.
"The fucker must be filming us right now," Rodney says, eyes finally leaving John to dart around. When he realizes that it's probably done already, his eyes go wide. "Shit, John, what if..."
That's something John had not considered, but so true. John reluctantly steps back, but he's not worried.
"S'okay, I'm sure he's not gonna use it against me," John says.
"He's dead if he tries," Rodney growls and John shouldn't find that sexy.
"Hey, Jarvis!" John says aloud, feeling a bit stupid.
"Colonel?" The AI answers and once again John would like to have something to look at to speak up, this is weird.
"Is Stark on speaker?"
"He is now."
"Get your butt back down here, Tony, we've got work to do," Rodney says, getting up and going back to the 3D model of the gun. John follows and whoa, this is way cool, maybe if he asks nicely they could let him play with it too.
"Already?" Stark's voice rings, amused.
"Ha ha, you're hilarious," Rodney grumbles.
"I know," Stark says but he's coming down the stairs, looking mischievous and giving them an interested once over when he opens the door and get in the workshop. John's pretty glad the frigging under-suit doesn't show the wet spot that he can definitely feel from inside, which all things considered is a bit disgusting.
"All good, John?" Stark teases, sweeping his eyes down and John can't help it, he feels the tip of his ears heat up.
"Never better," he answers with a smile that's got maybe a bit too much teeth, putting a proprietary hand on Rodney's lower back. Mine. Rodney doesn't react but from a minute shift into the touch and if John's not mistaken he's turning a bit pink in the neck, too.
Stark's reaction is to throw his head back and laugh.
"You're adorable," he says and John feels himself turn at least three deeper shades of red.
"What?" Rodney says, turning around, looking between Stark and John, and missing what's going on by a mile. He's always been pretty oblivious. "Could we stop with the nonsense and get this over with, please?"
"Sure thing, Rodney," Stark says, dragging a stool over to sit down beside him, then drags the laptop close to flip back to a screen full of code. "You mentioned that those nanites build tolerance on exposure so I thought of something."
Okay, so John feels casually dismissed right now. Which is fine, he's pretty sure he could not follow anyway, since Rodney and Stark start to speak in half sentences, slipping easily into completing each other's thought at a level that almost reaches the brain communion Rodney and Radek sometimes share.
"I'm gonna go change," he says out loud, getting a ok-go-on-shoo hand wave from Rodney and a wink from Stark. Reassured that Stark doesn't seem to want to make a play for Rodney, John gives him his most shit eating grin before turning around and making his way to the room where his clothes are.
Not surprisingly, the speaker come to life again as he enters the room. If he'd had a five dollar to bet, he'd put it as a way for Stark to keep John informed on what they're working, so he doesn't miss too much as he get cleaned.
"Great catch, pal."
Then again, maybe not.
"What? John? Hey, you better not try to steal him from me now!" Rodney says, sounding worried.
Stark laughs again.
"Nah. I've got a Lieutenant Colonel of my own, if you must know. Rhodey would snap my neck if he'd learn I even touched your precious John."
The info is offered casually, but it's clearly a show of trust. Don't worry, I won't sell you out: I'll watch your back if you watch mine. John manages to unzip the under-suit and getting out of it is as bad as he thought. If the material stuck to his skin earlier, now that he's sweaty and sticky it's almost like duct tape.
"Rhodey? Jim Rhodes? He was with us at MIT, right?" Rodney says.
"Yep, the one and only. The suit John tried is for him," Stark confirms.
"Oh. Oh. It's pretty serious, then. That must be your version of an engagement ring, with bonus danger and mayhem."
Stark's laugh is delighted and John has to smile too.
"Oh, Rodney, no wonder I've always liked you. Seriously, together we'd rule the world."
There's soft sniggering.
"Or blow it up," Rodney says, and yeah, John can see that outcome pretty well.
"Come on, Rodney. Come and work with me," Stark pleads.
Suit now off to the waist, John freezes; his gut almost falls to the ground at Starks proposition. Work with Stark, not for him, it's very clever phrasing. John can imagine how he'd give Rodney everything he asks for to play with and then add fortune, fame and research in a field that's not classified and could bring Rodney that Nobel he wants so much. It's downright terrifying. Rodney sighs.
"Tony, you offer me a job every time my contract with the Army is due; you tried to bribe me countless times, very creatively I must admit, into coming to work for you. But what do I always say?"
"I know, I know, but I'm not doing army gear anymore! Your main argument is now invalid," Stark says.
"I can't," Rodney says, definitive.
John breathes a little more easily.
"I'd hire John as a test pilot, pay you two an obscene amount of money," Stark promises.
"It's still no. Look, I can't tell you much, but what we do is important. I don't want to leave, and certainly John can't. He holds everything together over there."
John thinks Rodney pretty much holds the city afloat against all odds most of the time by sheer force of will, but the words warm him up none the less.
"You're saving Earth from evil aliens a couple of times a week, I bet," Stark says.
"Twice on Sundays."
"Promise me you'll call me as soon as you're tired of your probably very stressful and thankless job," Stark says, sounding resigned.
"Yeah, like working with you would be a walk in the park. We'd be at each other's throat in days," Rodney says.
"I'm not so sure about that," Stark's tone is teasing, and the rest is playful: "We'd be great together."
Rodney makes a surprised squeak.
"Oh my god, tell me you're not hitting on me! John, John, come and save me from this pervert!"
"Hands off, Stark!" John shouts, pretty sure it's going to be relayed. "I know Rhodes, and he's not the only one who could snap your neck!"
He's pretty sure that Stark is only teasing Rodney, though, so there is no need to go to Rodney's rescue.
"Feisty! I like it. Ow, Rodney, sheesh. I like you guys, you're the cutest pair of oblivious fools in love I've seen in a long time." John feels his cheeks heat at the big 4 letter word. Not that he has any ground to deny it. "Do you want the video of your first time as a I-finally-got-a-clue present? I'm sure it's really hot," Stark adds.
"I knew it, I knew you'd hang this over our heads, you insufferable jerk!" Rodney shouts.
There's the sound of the stool screeching on the floor and if John's not mistaken some running around.
"Ow, stop hitting me Rodney! It was a joke, you know I wouldn't..." Stark manages to say between uncontrolled bouts of laughter.
"You're going to erase every single frame of everything you've recorded, from all servers and backups. Do you understand," Rodney hisses.
John agrees with the sentiment, it's the sensible thing to do. But deep down, he'd maybe have liked to have a copy. For, huh, sentimental reasons.
"Whoa, god, owowow! Where did you learn to do arm locks like this?" Stark says, still amused but with an undercurrent of pain. John's tempted to ask Jarvis if there's a video feed, it sounds like a hilarious show.
"Ronon showed me and he's the one I'll let lose on your sorry hide if you even touch one of the ridiculous hair on the top of John's head," Rodney says. "You'll never know what hit you, seriously. Even worse I could send him with Teyla."
It's sad that Stark can't know the level of threat this is. John finally manages to shove the under-suit down his thighs and winces at the mess he made. He'd better take it in the shower to rinse it out.
"Okay, okay, Jesus, let go before you snap my arm off, I need it," Stark says.
"Give me your word," Rodney says. John's surprised he's not making him cry uncle.
"Of course, I'll erase it all. Jarvis, do it now," Stark says.
"The files are now destroyed," Jarvis declares.
"You promise you'll make sure it's all gone?" Rodney asks, intent.
"Yes, I swear," Stark says, then with evident relief: "jeez, you almost popped my shoulder out of its socket."
"Good, maybe you'll take me seriously, for once. Can we work now?"
"I don't know, I think I don't have feeling in my fingers at the moment," Stark almost whines.
"Stop complaining, you wuss. And they call you a superhero?" Rodney says, sounding smug.
"I am, everyone loves me and you're green with jealousy. Admit it," Stark counters, sounding even more insufferable.
John almost starts laughing out loud. Stark sure knows how to rile up Rodney.
"No way," Rodney says, outraged.
John opens the shower doors and gets under the spray that started automatically, drowning the banter. He's going to have to go down there before they start pulling each other's hair, but everything is going to be fine.
Better than fine, in fact. It's going to be downright fantastic, John thinks. He's got Rodney and cool new guns to get the job done. But most of all, Rodney.
John smiles: it doesn't get better than that.
The End
ETA: there is now a short sequel, Unexpected
I hope you enjoyed :)
Note: using for cliche_bingo: crossover TV show/Movie