Fic: "Definitely not Shambhala (but it's good money)", 3/3, Lost/SPN
Part 1
Part 2
Part 3
His fingers throb but Dean thinks he was definitely lucky to just get a couple of splinters under the fingernails before they stopped their loony from doing more damage. When he's pushed in the cell, now with his hands cuffed behind his back and not in front, the DHARMA security guys seem extremely happy to lock the door behind him. Dean can't resist yelling after them.
"Peace and love my ass! I hate the seventies."
With a panicked look at each other, the guards get the hell out of dodge. Dean guesses his little stoic act under torture will make the rounds in the village when they trade scary stories around the campfire.
When they're gone, Sayid comes to him, looking concerned. Looking down, Dean sees that there are several drops of blood on the floor.
"Let me see." Sayid says as he turns Dean around and grips his wrists.
"It's nothing. Hurts like a bitch, though."
"That's why it's so effective." Sayid says matter of factly. Dean hears fabric ripping and twists to see Sayid bandaging his hurt fingers with strips of his shirt.
"Thanks. Although purple is not really my color."
Sayid giggles a bit, probably still a bit high from whatever they gave him earlier. After it's done, Sayid goes to the other end of the cell again. There ain't much to do but to sit and wait for whatever happens next and since Sayid is lost in his bubble, there isn't hope for stellar conversation until they know their fate.
After maybe an hour, Sawyer opens the cell door and in two long strides goes right into Sayid's personal space.
"Hit me in the face." He demands.
Sayid chuckles.
"What?"
"Go on. You owe me one anyway, so make it a good one." Sawyer then makes his keys jangle. "Then I want you to take these keys out of my pocket and let yourself out. The guard outside is Phil. He's a dimwit, so I reckon you can get his gun before he even realizes you're out. Just promise me you won't shoot him."
That's doable, Dean thinks, but before they can get right on that plan, Sayid just flat out refuses.
"I appreciate the offer, but I am fine right here."
Sawyer stares, then blurts out:
"They're gonna kill you. They just took a vote. Even the new mom wants you guys dead."
Hippies my ass, thinks Dean. Human nature is naturally violent and cruel no matter what the pacifists say. But a more pressing matter is Sayid being totally pigheaded.
"I am going to stay here, James."
Growing frustrated, Sawyer argues.
"This morning you were begging me to let you go. Why would you change your-"
Looking totally calm and collected in a way Dean doesn't like at all, Sayid interrupts him.
"Because... when I woke up in the jungle and I realized I was back on this island...I felt there was no purpose to it. But now I know exactly why I am here."
And shit, that ain't good news when a desperate guy starts talking about purpose and destiny.
"To get shot? Then what?" Exclaims Sawyer. Both men stare at each other but it's clear from Sayid's stance and face that he's not budging. "You're out of your mind." Sawyer declares.
"Come on, Sayid, we can totally make it!" Dean pleads.
Sayid turns to him and there is not even one glimpse of doubt.
"No. I am staying here."
Sighing, Sawyer turns to Dean.
"Sorry man, but it's both of you or nothing. I can't let only you out without busting my cover. I'll think of something else. Son of a bitch."
With a last frustrated look at Sayid, Sawyer gets out of the cell and leaves them there to wait for their death sentence. Dean leans his head against the wall and even if he knows that Sayid has his mindset and therefore won't listen, he tries to reason with him anyway.
"Look, Sayid, I don't know what you think you're here to do, but if you want to change the future, I can already tell you it won't work."
At least Sayid answers him.
"You cannot know that."
Repressing a snort, Dean tries to be as earnest as possible.
"Oh yes, I know. I tried it, Sayid, and even doing my best to fix things I just made it worse and what was meant to happen did so anyway. A friend of mine told me you can't change destiny."
But it's clear Sayid doesn't believe him.
The door creaks open and Ben stands in the doorway, buried in a hoodie and looking a bit shifty. When knowing what to look for, it's weird for Dean to see traces of who Ben will become in that young face.
"What happened to your glasses?" asks Sayid. The two lenses seem to be held together with only scotch tape.
"My dad." Ben answers and Dean has a very nasty thought for Roger Linus.
"For bringing me the sandwich?" Sayid ask quietly. Ben nods, and Sayid continues. "I know. My father was a hard man as well."
The poor kid's voice breaks.
"I really hate it here." He takes a deep breath. "If I let you out...will you take me with you, to your people?"
Sayid has a small smile and to Dean's surprise, he says softly.
"Yes, Ben, I will. That's why I'm here."
Dean barely has time to process what that means when Sam busts in the room. He stops short when he sees Ben, who walks back towards the cell in surprise, looking terrified. But Sam doesn't give the kid a second glance and hurries to the door, putting a rucksack down and looking at the lock.
"Dean, thank god. Look, someone's attacking the camp, I'm getting you out of here right now."
It's definitely a relief to see Sam again and Dean can't wait to get out. He always gets antsy behind bars.
"Awesome. Though the kidlet beat you to this amazing plan. Move over Sammy."
Sam blinks up at Dean in confusion, then looks at Ben who timidly walks forward and unlocks the door with a big set of keys.
"Oh. Okay then. Thanks." Sam says as Sayid and Dean exit the cell and they all walk towards the door, before taking advantage of the confusion outside to run to the jungle line. There are shouts all around as one of the houses burns big and bright in the night, people trying their best to limit the fire from spreading out and no one even takes notice of four shadows slipping into the darkness. Once they're out of sight, Sam grabs Dean by the arm.
"Wait, wait a second." He turns Dean around and fiddles with the handcuffs until they click open. Sam puts them in one of his pockets but brings one of Dean's hand up to squint at it. "Hey, what the fuck..."
"It's nothing." And frankly, it is nothing at all. What worries Dean is that he's lost sight of Sayid and Ben. "Where did they go?"
"Sayid? They went that way."
Suddenly, Sayid's words about purpose and destiny come back to Dean juxtaposed with the fact he took Ben's offer and not Sawyer's. Could it be that...
"Fuck, Sam, we got to stop Sayid." He's not even finished saying so that he starts running through the jungle, Sam on his heels.
"What? Why?"
Dean really hope he's wrong, but then they reach a path where a DHARMA bus is stopped in the middle of a trail with Ben in the headlights and Sayid is speaking to Jin.
"They don't know he released me. Please, Jin, I need to keep moving."
Jin takes his radio.
"Okay. Let me talk to him first." Jin speaks into the transmitter. "LaFleur, it's Jin here."
Dean approaches carefully, Sam quiet by his side.
The radio crackles. "Come in."
But before Jin can answer, Sayid knocks him out. Jin goes down on the ground hard. Young Ben looks amazed.
"Whoa! Where'd you learn to do that? Come on. We better go. He called LaFleur."
When Sayid picks up a gun, Dean knows he's unfortunately guessed Sayid's so-called purpose. He shouts a warning.
"No! Don't do that Sayid. You don't really wanna do that, trust me!"
"Do what?" Sam asks Dean urgently.
Sayid's not listening to Dean at all, though, and addresses young Ben.
"You were right about me." Sayid says, looking totally wrecked.
Figuring it's all or nothing, Dean starts running towards Sayid, gun be damned. Ben looks confused and so innocent. Dean can only hope Sayid can't go on with it.
"What?" Ben asks and before Dean can get close enough, Sayid aims right for the kid's heart.
"I am a killer."
The gun shot is so startling - Dean really had hoped Sayid could not shoot a kid in cold blood even if he'd turn out to grow up to be an evil overlord - that he freezes in his tracks and watches with horror as Ben's eyes grow big and round before he falls to the ground. Sam curses and rushes towards the little prone form as Sayid, on his knees by the road, doubles forward with a sob.
Sam kneels by Ben and Sayid staggers up and still shaky runs forward on the path, clutching his gun.
"Shit! Holy fuck, Dean, god." Sam says as he checks out Ben.
Dean kneels by their side, caressing Ben's hair off his forehead.
"You're going to be fine, kiddo." He says, hoping he sounds reassuring and confident. "He's alive, right?" Dean asks Sam because he has to be, it can't be otherwise.
Ben is breathing, although with difficulty.
"Yeah, but he needs medical attention, right now." Sam's about to haul Ben off the ground when Dean stops him.
"Okay, take him to the barracks, find a doctor. But give me the cuffs first, I've got to find Sayid."
Sam gives them up but he's indignant.
"What? Why! That man's nuts, he just shot a kid! Fuck him."
"He shouldn't have done it, you're right. But he thought he was doing the world a favor. He had no way to know it wouldn't work."
"Doing the world a favor by shooting a twelve year old kid?" Sam yells, flailing. Dean points to the boy.
"A twelve year old Benjamin Linus, Sam. Sayid tried to change the future, stop the genocide, whatever happened to the crash survivors here on this island the first time around and probably lots of shit that happened after."
Sam gapes, then looks down at the kid.
"That's Ben? Shit. But he's a little boy!"
Dean sighs as he gets up.
"Yes, I know. Who grows up to be a very bad man, don't even doubt it. He's going to survive this, it's absolutely certain."
If Dean doesn't start to try to catch Sayid now, he's at risk of not finding him at all. It's maybe too late already, because Dean wouldn't be surprised Sayid wants to off himself now. He knows he'd think about it.
"I've got to tell Sayid there was nothing he could do, that he couldn't have stopped what happened."
"He could NOT have shot him!" Sam says, outraged. When Dean starts going anyway, Sam curses. "Dammit, Dean, we shouldn't split again, come on."
Dean hates it too.
"Do what you want, Sam, but I got to find him."
Jin is starting to groan and stir, and Dean leaves him with Sam and starts to jog in the general direction Sayid took. When he stops to try and hear a clue of Sayid's whereabouts, Dean's surprised to hear ruffling behind him and thinks to hide before Sam shouts after him.
"Wait for me, idiot."
"What about Ben?"
"Jin's taking him to Juliet." They can't really run in the undergrowth, especially as dark as it's now, and Dean just hopes Sayid just went straight ahead. After a minute, Sam asks quietly. "He's really going to be fine?"
"Yeah. For better or for worse."
Hysterical laughter coming from a bit ahead to their right makes them stop walking. Dean whispers to Sam.
"Look, let me handle him okay?"
Sam puts his backpack down and comes up with an old handgun. His face is set and hard.
"Okay, but he only looks at you funny and he's going down."
Dean nods, then he walks slowly in the clearing, both hands up while Sayid laughs so much he's taken with the hiccups.
"Hey, hey, Sayid! It's me, Dean."
Sayid looks up from where he's sitting cross-legged with his back to a tree.
"I can't."
He's smiling, but Dean can see that he's crying at the same time.
"What, Sayid? What can't you do?"
Showing Dean the gun, Sayid takes it, and then puts it in his mouth in one swift movement. Dean has only time to lunge forward crying "NO!" that he hears the click of the gun but no detonation. Sayid takes it out and laughs some more.
"I cannot kill myself. I could kill a child," Sayid voice's crack badly. "But the Island will not let me die."
Walking slowly and steadily, Dean reaches Sayid and manages to take the gun from Sayid's limp hands and put it in the back of his jeans.
"Ben's going to live, Sayid. You didn't kill him." He says softly. "No matter what you try to do, you can't change the future."
Sayid looks up at him with big watery eyes.
"He is alive?"
Dean nods.
"He is." Going with what Sayid told him just a second ago, Dean adds. "The Island is not going to let him die. You met him in 2004, he can't die in 1977. Jin's taking him to the doctor right now."
Blinking, Sayid's obviously tries to follow his logic, then his face crumbles.
"He lives." He says, tone deaf. "Nothing changes." Dean tries to suppress his wince, but Sayid sees it. "Oh." There's a long pause where Dean can't even meet Sayid's eyes. He looks down at the tips of his boots, shrugs.
"Everything stays the same."
After a couples of seconds of silence while it hits home, Sayid doubles up forward, and starts wheezing with big uncontrollable sobs that seems to rip him in half. And shit... do you come back from shooting a kid point blank? Not knowing what to do, Dean steps forward and puts a gentle hand on his shoulder blade, and when Sayid doesn't shrug him off, he rubs soothingly with small circles, which makes Sayid lose it even more.
"Shhhht." Dean whispers awkwardly, and to his surprise, Sayid grips him by the waist and hauls him close, clinging desperately to him while he cries into Dean t-shirt.
"Dean?" Sam shouts, worried.
Carding his fingers in Sayid's curly hair, Dean shushes him some more, then speaks up.
"It's okay, Sam. Give us a minute, will you? Please."
"Are you sure?"
"I'm sure. Just stand guard... just one moment, okay?" Sayid is shaking like a leaf and hanging on for dear life, and when Sam doesn't speak some more, Dean knows Sayid's got some privacy. "Okay, it's okay. Shhhht." He whispers to Sayid.
"Kill me. Please, Dean, please kill me." Sayid whines. He looks up at him, expectant. "You said you kill monsters for a living. I am a monster. Please."
It makes something twist deep in Dean's gut because he can relate so much, he's done so many horrors.
"We can all be monsters, Sayid. I was one, too. Worse than you could ever be."
Sayid shakes his head.
"No, no you are not. You are a good man, and you will do the world a favor by killing me, I can assure you of that."
"I can't judge if you deserve to live or die, it's not my job. I just need you to understand that what you just did had already happened. It's a fucking vicious circle, you had to do it because it was already written." Dean kneels down in front of Sayid, which brings them to the same level and he can look at the other man right in the eyes. "No one can change destiny."
He uses his thumb to swipe Sayid's cheekbone free of tears, and Sayid rolls his head into the touch, closing his eyes. Upon a crazily tender impulse to soothe that man who reminds him so much of himself, Dean kisses Sayid's forehead.
"I'm not gonna lie and tell you everything's going to be okay. But you'll learn to live with it."
Dean's totally surprised when Sayid inches closed and kisses him on the mouth.
Shocked, he doesn't move and that makes Sayid bolder, his kiss more insisting. Dean knows the desperate need for a connection of any sort when you're deep into despair, and yeah, he can give Sayid this, so he kisses back.
Sayid’s hands are now clenching Deans biceps, so hard he knows he'll get bruises. Dean brings his own hands up to Sayid's face and kisses him with all he's got. What Sayid needs right now is to feel something beside the pain taking all the place down inside. He's obviously totally shattered of having shot a child, even if was Ben, and it reassures Dean a bit because this is so much better than not caring at all. It means there are still morals deep down, no matter how twisted it comes out. Sayid's splintering in a thousand little pieces and if a little comfort can help him keep it together, Dean's going to give it.
There's nothing really sexual in the kiss, even if it's deep and hard: it's like Sayid wishes to climb out of his skin and hide in Dean's, get totally lost and never come back. When one of Sayid's hand moves up Dean's arm and sneaks into his t-shirt sleeve to splay open on his shoulder, Dean knows it's the the feeling of skin to skin that Sayid craves, not a sign that he wants more, wants him. Dean lets Sayid control the pace of the kiss for a bit before winding it down slowly. He doesn't stop all at once but gives Sayid shorter kisses, ending up close mouthed before pulling him in a hug. Sayid burrows his face in Dean's neck, and even if he's still crying a little, he's much calmer.
"Shht. I know, I know." Dean says, rubbing Sayid's back. He hates to push, but he has to. "You got to keep it together Sayid. And we have to leave now, the DHARMA guys will be here to look for us any minute now."
With a big shaking sigh, Sayid straightens up, and Dean lets him go. Sayid doesn't look strong and fearless like the guy he met just this morning, but he's definitely got his game face on.
"You go. I will turn myself in. Confess."
Dean shakes his head.
"If you do that, they'll kill you." Before Sayid adds a word, Dean stops him. "I know that's what you think you want, and if you still want to it later, I won't be able to stop you. But for right now, I need your help."
"My help?"
"Yes. Me and Sam, we don't know jack shit about this Island, how to get around. We need you to take us somewhere the black smoke is."
Sayid frowns, obviously taken aback.
"It's everywhere, but you need to get out of the fenced perimeter. The sonic wall stops it."
Dean nods.
"That's a start. But it would be easier if you could help us get around for a little bit. Could you do that for me? Please?"
It's a shameless attempt to give Sayid a bit of purpose and try to stall his self-destructive tendencies, but it's also true. They could use his help.
"I... I don't know."
If Dean leaves him here, Sayid will run to the village - or even worse, to Oldham - and beg to be killed. Dean's playing shamelessly on the sympathy points he just earned a few moments ago.
"I really need your help. Please."
Sayid takes a deep breath and seems to brace himself.
"Two days, maximum."
Dean closes his eyes in relief, nods and squeezes Sayid's shoulder.
"That's great. Thank you."
He gets up and whistles softly. After a couple of seconds Sam appears at the end of the clearing. He still has his gun out and gives Sayid a look that is full of hostility, before looking back at Dean.
"About time." He says curtly. "We need to get a move on, they're going to come looking real soon."
"Yeah, we're going." As Dean says so, Sayid gets up, dusts his pants and after a look at Dean, starts walking away from where he shot Ben. Sam's frowning but Dean gestures to him. "C'mon Sammy. We gotta go find where that demon's from."
***
It takes about an hour to reach the fence and Sayid confirms that Dean had a great idea climbing it coming in. A goddamn killing sonic fence! They shimmy up and down again, while Dean flips the bird to the camera. Those DHARMA guys are just blood thirsty freaks, for real. To avoid getting caught up easily, from then on, they avoid beaten paths and walk in the jungle. Dean makes them go back and forth, up and down through streams and using the terrain as much as possible with the best techniques to lose any followers he learned from John. It makes their progress a lot slower, but definitely safer. A bit before dawn, they stop for a break and Dean stretches on the jungle's floor, ready for a power nap.
"I will take first watch." Sayid says.
"I'm not tired." Sam replies, and one look at him tells Dean that he's definitely not trusting Sayid, and that his own watch will be more to keep an eye on the Iraqi than anything. Sam's sitting with his back to the tree that is between Dean and Sayid, like a watchdog.
"Okay then. C'mere Sayid." Dean says, patting the ground by his side. Sam glares at the motion but Dean ignores him. "You need to rest."
Sayid hesitates, but finally complies, walking in front of Sam and then lying down by Dean's side. He's about four inches away, so Dean rolls on his side so they are closer and puts a reassuring hand on Sayid's arm.
"You're probably not going to be able to sleep right now." Dean hears Sam snort derisively and Sayid tenses even more. Cursing silently at his righteous little brother, Dean squeezes Sayid's arm. "But close your eyes, try to empty your mind and breathe deeply."
Obediently, Sayid does as instructed and it's not long that Dean lets himself drift to sleep, knowing Sam's there to protect them.
***
Dean wakes up from a boot pushing his leg insistently. Completely groggy, he blinks up and up and up at Sam, who's checking out the jungle to his left.
"I've heard some people, real stealthy though. Definitely not DHARMA. They're gone now, they didn't see us, but we have to go." He whispers.
"Hostiles?" Dean whispers back. Sam nods and when Dean looks at Sayid, he sees the other man has his eyes open and is staring at Dean's hand on his arm. Dean must have fallen asleep like that. He squeezes Sayid's arm and sits up, checking his watch. He got maybe three hours of sleep, definitely not enough since he had not slept in god knows how long. Over two days, maybe more.
Knowing they are in Hostile territory now, Sam, Dean and Sayid make their way as silently as possible. Sayid whispered that he and his friends encountered the smoke monster around here before and to be on the watch for a clicking noise that announces it’s presence.
Sam and Dean exchange puzzled looks, because they've never heard a demon click, but nonetheless they stay alert. At one point, they reach a very old construction that looks like an old rock temple.
When asked, Sayid shakes his head: he's never seen it before. Sam's observing the artwork and hieroglyphs on the side when they hear footsteps coming closer. Sam hurries to hide with Sayid and Dean by the trees, and they see a man with short dark hair carrying a unconscious Ben in his arms. Sayid tenses up but Dean grips his arm so he stays still. When the man disappears inside the temple with Ben, Sam turns to Sayid.
"Do you know who that is?"
Sayid nods.
"He's one of the Others. Richard."
Sam looks at Dean.
"Oh. From what I learned, Richard Alpert is the Hostiles’ leader. But why is Ben here with him and not being taken care of by doctors?”
Shrugging, Dean gets up.
"I don't know. But I'm going in there to find out."
Without another word, the three of them slink by the door that permits them to cross an outer wall and opens up to more jungle. There is an eerie calm inside the walls; no birds chirping, not even the sound of the insects that were making Dean's life only minutes ago. It's creepy as fuck and Dean checks the gun he took from Sayid, reassuring himself with the motions but knowing it won't do any good if they come face to face with the demon right now. Being extra careful to be as discreet as they can, since any loud noise would detonate and reveal their presence, they walk for almost half a mile towards an almost pyramid-like structure that must be the temple itself.
There is no one around; Dean had been half expecting guards or something, but the horror stories about the infamous smoke monster seem to be enough to guarantee the temple against most trespassers. Once in by the main door, Sam and him sweep the small lobby and after wordless communication Dean goes first down the staircase that's the only way to the heart of the temple. The corridor is dark but there are flickering lights further away. They approach as silently as possible, Sayid who's unarmed in the middle as Sam takes the rear.
As Dean expected, the room at the end is lighted completely by candles - dozens of flames dancing, even more that aren't - all more or less burned. There are baskets littered around full of fruits and other offerings and Richard has placed Ben on an long rock altar near the back wall. The kid is so still he doesn't seem to breathe and Dean feels Sayid shudder. With his back to the door, Richard is oblivious to their presence and continues chanting in Latin about health and life, power and destiny.
As far as they can see, Richard seems to have both hands on Ben's chest and Dean wonders what they should do, if they should stop it. But he knows they can't change the past, so when Sam points to a demon uncoiling from a whole in the mouth of a big statue that looks like Anubis set on wall over the altar and that the smoke goes to hover over Ben's body, Dean raises a hand. It's not their place to intervene, he's sure of it, call it a gut feeling. This was Ben's destiny all along. Anyway, as soon as the demon touches Ben, there is a very loud buzzing that starts to get louder, just like it happened on the plane. Once more, a bright white light overtakes them and Dean loses consciousness.
***
He blinks awake in total darkness, and he's barely taken a deep breath when he hears Sam.
"Dean?"
"Right here, Sam. You there too, Sayid?"
"Yes."
There is some ruffling and a match cracks, which lets them see they are still in the temple before it flickers out between Sam’s fingers. Sam gets up and goes to light one of the candles, and then several more so they can look around a bit. One thing is for sure, it's that there are a lot more candles than a couple of minutes ago. The walls are covered with them almost from top to bottom. Sam's examining the Anubis-like statue, trying to investigate the whole while Sayid moves to a doorway at the side, leading to another room.
"Sam? Did you bring chalk or something like it?" Dean asks, going through Sam's sack. "I think this would be the perfect place for a Devil's Trap."
"Right. Yes, in the small pocket in the front."
Without waiting, they get to work, drawing a trap on the floor by the altar. Dean doesn't know when the demon will get back, but they're working as fast as they can, better be safe than sorry.
"So, that makes Richard a warlock?" Dean asks.
"I guess so." Sam says as he finishes the last sigil.
"Richard Alpert did not age at all between 1974 and 2004." Adds Sayid as he comes back in the room with a newspaper. He points to the header. "Dated from two weeks before Flight 316. It's the paper with the article about John Locke's death."
Dean's shoulder sag in relief when he realizes they're back in their own present. Or whatever. Time shifting is so confusing. He doesn't even want to think about why they made it back to their own timelines, because his head is going to explode. He'll let Sam theorize to his little heart's content, later.
"Oh thank god. I am sooo not cut for the seventies."
Sam grins.
"Really? You should update your music collection then, some could think otherwise."
Dean's about to rant about how Sam's never had any respect for the classics when there's some ruffling in the wall. Whatever is coming is doing it fast and just like that, the adrenaline spikes as the demon starts coming out of the statue's mouth. It comes straight for them, rapid and possibly deadly and Dean and Sam leap back out of the way. Luckily, in its haste to get to them, the demon goes right over the Devil's trap that’s not even hidden. It flattens against the invisible curved wall of the interior of the trap, barely inches from Dean's face. The smoke starts to circle around, fast and even faster like a tornado, clicking and making god awful noises that are almost mechanical. It's terrifying but also strangely beautiful and for a moment there Dean can only stand still and gape.
Sayid is hovering near the door, ready to flee but totally fascinated by it all too. Dean's got to admit is pretty impressive, they've never trapped a demon in its smoke form before.
The first to get his wits back is Sam. He starts declaiming the exorcism, and Dean is relieved to see he's using the old fashioned way. The Hand of Power had its utility before it got way too insane with the demon blood addiction, and Dean still has nightmares about how it nearly shot everything all to Hell. Literally.
Even with the Latin, Sam now knows how to bend the exorcisms so the demon is not only banished to Hell, but literally killed and that's what he does here. His voice is strong and confident, and Dean shivers thinking of the power he once had and could possibly seek again. The black smoke realizes that it's fucked half way, trashes around in the trap even more violently but then starts to flicker with bursts of light, making an oil-like puddle on the floor sizzling yellow and green until nothing is left.
The silence that follows feels eerily like being deaf.
***
"Really? Just like that? A prayer and the smoke monster is gone?" Hurley's eyes are opened so wide, Dean wonders if they are going to fall out of his head.
"Yep, that's it." Dean says, grinning.
They're all sitting in Sawyer and Juliet's living room, the house looking a little worse for wear as it seems it was abandoned from 2004 onward. Sayid's sitting by himself, looking out of the window. He hasn't spokenmuch since they came back from the temple to find everyone in the right era. Even Faraday's there now, although no one explained them howthat happened.
A smiling Sun is sitting on an equally ecstatic Jin's lap, and Dean hasn’t seen them not touching since they've arrived. Sun's absolutely gorgeous when she drops the ice queen facade, a real wet dream come true, but she and Jin are so cute that Dean feels guilty for even thinking it.
Sun and Frank, Flight 316's pilot, had their own crazy story to tell. They avoided the back to the future trip, but were lead to the barracks by a mysterious man who vanished just as they got to destination. Even if making sense of everything is as pleasant as banging your head on a brick wall, the theory that has the most followers is that everyone came back to 2007 once the Island was certain the events would proceed as supposed to, most having served a purpose in it all.
Jack, Sawyer, Kate and Juliet have mostly just stared and blinked as Sam and Dean told everyone how they took care the demon, but Miles has listened carefully and he's squinting at them, thoughtful.
"It's not Remington, is it." It's not even said as a question, more like an affirmation. Sam and Dean look at each other. "You guys are not Sam and Dean Remington, you're Sam and Dean Winchester." Mile adds.
Busted, but that doesn't matter, right? Dean rubs the back of his head and Hurley gapes.
"What, you've heard of them? Are they famous? Or did a ghost tell you that?"
Miles rolls his eyes.
"No ghost told me anything, Bib. I don't know what happened since I got here, but their dad is a crazy mofo well known in the hunter's community, and Deano here was starting to make a name for himself. There were even rumors the younger Winchester had joined the family business again."
"What?" Jack finally seems shaken out of his apathy. "You guys are demon hunters?"
There's no point in hiding anything now, and it's Sam who answers.
"Demons, ghosts, vampires, werewolves..." He shrugs when Jack just gapes.
"As thrilled as I am to learn all of this shit is maybe real," Sawyer says while drawling his words even more than usual, "How the hell do we get off this rock?"
Kate shakes her head.
"We can't go yet, we have to find Claire."
Sawyer winces.
"We haven't seen her in three years, Kate."
"You think she's dead?"
"Maybe she didn't move in time, that's why you never saw her." Sun suggests.
This time Sawyer nods.
"Could be.' He gets up. "Fine then, let's get a move on."
Obviously, Sawyer's gotten used to being in charge and his friends fall in step pretty quickly. Dean's checking the rifle he took in a house when Sam speaks up.
"I don't think we should all go in the jungle looking for Claire."
Sawyer stops, one hand on the door handle, and looks back with a raised eyebrow.
"You said you took care of the smoke monster. The more we are, the more chance we have to find her."
"I bet Claire must be wherever Jacob is. At the cabin." Says Sam. "We find it, we find her. No need to be all there."
"Dude, I'm not looking for that crazy hopping cabin again. No way." Protests Hurley.
"But you're our best chance at finding it, Hurley. We'll go with you, Miles too."
"And me!" Add Kate and Jack at the same time.
"Oh, I'm going too." Sawyer adds, resolute and it's clear no one will make him change his mind on that.
Sam shrugs as if he doesn't give a damn.
"Cool, if you want. The Island moves, but it does stay put for days at a time. Sayid, Dan and Juliet should go with Frank to that radio tower you guys talked about and try to rig something for a signal."
"Widmore gave me a frequency that we could try to use to contact him." Sun adds. Sayid minutely flinches at the name, but doesn't say anything. Dean has little doubt that something like 'the enemies of my enemies could be useful' is going trough his head.
"Maybe we'll get lucky." Dean chimes in.
"Lucky?" Hurley says, so disbelievingly that after a bit everyone starts laughing.
"Maybe our luck is turning, guys." Dean says with a grin. "And anyway, we've got nothing to lose trying."
"I have an idea." Sayid says, finally leaving his chair by the window and the wave of relief to see him finally react to something is palpable in the room.
Everyone but Sam and Dean have been walking on tiptoe around him, although Sayid has avoided all contact. Dean smiles and when Sayid walks by, he gives him a little tap on the back.
"Cool. Then we'll be out of here by no time, mark my words." Sayid doesn't smile, but almost, and Dean wonders if they're not going to get him out of his funk, after all. Sayid's a survivor; if he decides to fight, he'll be okay.
"Don't jinx it, pretty boy." Sawyer mutters, who then walks to Juliet and bends down to kiss her softly on the lips. "Be careful, okay? Smokey might be gone, but Richard and his merry gang are still out there, with Ben on top if Sun here didn't scramble his evil brain to mush."
Juliet smiles up at him.
"Okay, I'll be careful. You too."
Sawyer winks at her.
"You know I am, baby. And besides, I'm with the three ghostbusters, what could possibly go wrong?"
She rolls her eyes and pushes him in the center of the chest.
"Don't jinx it either, idiot."
***
Finding the cabin is surprisingly easy, after all. They follow Hurley, who keeps complaining about how unfair it is that it's always him doing the crazy stuff when suddenly there's a little rundown shack, right in the middle of a clearing.
As everyone walks forward, Dean notices a ring of dust on the ground and bends down to examine it, taking a bit in his fingers and smelling it.
"Goofer dust." He tells Sam. Usually for keeping something out, but maybe here to keep something safely in.
"Claire?" Bellows Jack and Dean winces. Way to go for being discreet until they know what they are up against.
The cabin door starts to open and everyone raises his or her guns - except Hurley, who uses Sam as a personal shield. A middle aged man leans against the door frame, smirking at them and visibly unimpressed by the fire power aimed right at him.
It's Jack who breaks the silence, with an incredulous "Dad?"
"Hi, son. It's about time."
Sawyer frowns, then looks at Jack.
"Didn't you tell me your daddy died?"
Jack closes his mouth shut for a second. He's obviously in shock, swallows audibly and manages to say roughly, on the verge of tears.
"He did, I put his corpse on the plane. You can see him? Does everyone see him?"
"We can see him, Jack." Kate says softly.
Dean's read the file on Christian, knows he died in Sidney, so he's as confused as everybody.
"It's a ghost." Miles says, and Christian turns his sardonic blue eyes towards him and smirks.
"Don't say that so demeaningly, boy." He looks at everyone in turn before fixing his gaze on Jack. "Now if you don't mind, I need to talk with my son for a minute. I've been waiting a long time to do so."
Dean and Sam share a look: it's maybe not the best idea in the world. But Miles tilts his head to the side.
"Go, Jack. It's safe, he has no bad intentions toward you."
Christian nods at him, but it's a bit ironic.
"Thank you, Miles."
Jack's rooted in place, but then Sawyer goes to him, puts briefly a hand on Jack's neck as he speaks in his ear. Jack looks at Sawyer for a long moment, then takes a deep breath and walks towards the cabin, where Christian has entered. The door closes with much cracking and Hurley finally comes out from behind Sam.
"Dude, that's freaky. At least Charlie was, you know, Charlie."
Sawyer makes a face, then looks around.
"You saw Charlie?"
"Oh, not here, in California. He had a new haircut, looked sharp. He told me to come back by Flight 316 and bring him a guitar."
"Ooookay" Sawyer drawls, but Hurley doesn't seem to care at all. It's Kate who's starting to fidget, looking at the cabin.
"What's going on? What if Jack needs help? And where is Claire?"
But as she says so, the door opens again and Jack comes out, eyes wide and then he smiles, stepping to the side. A petite blond girl, definitely Claire Littleton, looks out from the cabin, blinking, then smiles at her friends.
Kate cries out in joy and runs to her, taking Claire in a big embrace, closely followed by Sawyer who literally lifts her up in a bear hug, making her squeal in delight. She has barely touched ground when Hurley does the same, practically smothering the poor girl.
He hasn't seen people being this happy or even smile this much since they got on this frigging Island, with the exception Sun and Jin earlier, so the scene makes Dean grin too. To be honest, he had very thin hopes of finding the girl alive. Although...
Taken with doubt, Dean asks Miles.
"It's her, right?"
Miles nods.
"It's her alright." He turns to wink at Dean. "And she's still hot."
"What about Christian Shephard?" Wonders Sam.
Miles closes his eyes, then shakes his head.
"He's gone. Delivered his message, could move on. The only one left is Jacob."
"Where?" asks Sam, glancing around.
"He's all around, since we passed the goofer dust. In every blade of grass, in every tree, in the cabin itself. He's the soul of the Island."
"Can we get rid of him? Should we do anything?" Wonders Sam.
Miles concentrates, frowns.
"He just wants to be free to go where he wants on the Island, it's Richard who trapped him and in part it could have been to protect him from the demon. Or so he says."
"If we break the goofer dust, will he go kill Richard?" Dean asks.
"I don't think so, no. He loves him, Locke and the Others. Calls them his children. Even says the prodigal son is back and that he's happy about it. I think the best would be to leave him be."
Dean turns to Sam and they exchange a meaningful look. Without knowing exactly what holds Jacob to the Island, getting rid of the spirit would be extremely difficult anyway.
"Ok, then. Guys?" Dean cries out to the little gang still hugging and celebrating, "I think we should call the radio tower, see how it's going over there, what do you think?"
Sawyer, who when he's grinning has a killer sets of dimples, takes out his walkie-talkie.
"Right, good idea." He presses the button. "Jin? Do you read me? Come in."
"This is Jin, how are you guys doing?"
Sawyer grins.
"We're fine, we got the little mamacita back, safe and sound."
There's happy shouts at the other end, then "That's great news! We're still working on the tower."
"Everyone stay there, we're coming over. Copy that."
"We're not moving until you get here."
"Excellent. LaFle..., James out." With a grin, Sawyer announces. "Okay, boys and girls, we have a little walk on the program. Giddy up!"
As they walk by the goofer dust circle, Dean nudges a big groove open in it with his boot. He doesn't know what he was expecting, but apart from some rustling in the leaves and something that sounds like whispers whisking by them, there's no manifestation of Jacob at all. Dean's not really sad about that.
***
The best surprise was yet to come, though, because when their little group got to the tower, Sayid was talking excitedly on the radio, but he takes a moment to wave at them and smiles at Dean.
"Does he have a radio contact with the outside?" Jack asks, still holding hands with Claire. Turns out that Blondie is his half sister. That was not in their files, although Dean is pretty sure that the files held only what Ben wanted them to know and not one iota more.
Jin grins and gives them a double thumb up.
"Yes, and they're close! Sayid's arranging for a meeting point for us and for a big enough boat to go get the survivors of the plane crash on the smaller island."
"You better not be shitting me." Sawyer says, intent, as Juliet practically bounces to him with a smile that makes her look ten years younger than usual.
Shaking his head, Jin can't stop smiling either.
"I'm not. It is Desmond."
Sawyer's jaw falls open and Dean's got to admit the coincidence is enormous. Did the Scot go back to see Eloise and got new coordinates? Is it because he was not done with the Island, as she had said, and he more or less stumbled upon them by accident? Frankly, Dean doesn't give a crap, if they're getting off this Island ASAP. Judging by the hope on everyone's faces, he's not alone.
Jack's grin is particularly wide, and he brings Claire's hand to his mouth to kiss her fingers lightly.
"You hear that? We're going home."
The End
Final author's note:
Okay, so I've been obsessive in following a lot of the Lost S5 events in this fic, sometimes literally, which was my excuse for waiting so long before getting a good start on it. Obviously it could not fit all the way through, with Lost still going even after I finished the fic, but I hope you enjoyed it anyway. Even more so, I pray it was readable if you are not a Lost fan or only knew just a bit about the premises, and could follow Dean on the ride.
I want to acknowledge here the tremendous support I got from my friends for this, who always believed in me... way more than I did myself at one point. I could not have done it without you. I'd screw up and would miss a name - making me crawl under a rock in shame - if I tried to name you all, but you know who you are and I love you dearly. ♥
Lastly, comments are love in all forms, it's like FOOD FOR THE SOUL, GUYS! *grins* don't forget to go see the art made by chosenfire28 here and give her some love too!
Thank you so much for reading ♥
Part 2
Part 3
His fingers throb but Dean thinks he was definitely lucky to just get a couple of splinters under the fingernails before they stopped their loony from doing more damage. When he's pushed in the cell, now with his hands cuffed behind his back and not in front, the DHARMA security guys seem extremely happy to lock the door behind him. Dean can't resist yelling after them.
"Peace and love my ass! I hate the seventies."
With a panicked look at each other, the guards get the hell out of dodge. Dean guesses his little stoic act under torture will make the rounds in the village when they trade scary stories around the campfire.
When they're gone, Sayid comes to him, looking concerned. Looking down, Dean sees that there are several drops of blood on the floor.
"Let me see." Sayid says as he turns Dean around and grips his wrists.
"It's nothing. Hurts like a bitch, though."
"That's why it's so effective." Sayid says matter of factly. Dean hears fabric ripping and twists to see Sayid bandaging his hurt fingers with strips of his shirt.
"Thanks. Although purple is not really my color."
Sayid giggles a bit, probably still a bit high from whatever they gave him earlier. After it's done, Sayid goes to the other end of the cell again. There ain't much to do but to sit and wait for whatever happens next and since Sayid is lost in his bubble, there isn't hope for stellar conversation until they know their fate.
After maybe an hour, Sawyer opens the cell door and in two long strides goes right into Sayid's personal space.
"Hit me in the face." He demands.
Sayid chuckles.
"What?"
"Go on. You owe me one anyway, so make it a good one." Sawyer then makes his keys jangle. "Then I want you to take these keys out of my pocket and let yourself out. The guard outside is Phil. He's a dimwit, so I reckon you can get his gun before he even realizes you're out. Just promise me you won't shoot him."
That's doable, Dean thinks, but before they can get right on that plan, Sayid just flat out refuses.
"I appreciate the offer, but I am fine right here."
Sawyer stares, then blurts out:
"They're gonna kill you. They just took a vote. Even the new mom wants you guys dead."
Hippies my ass, thinks Dean. Human nature is naturally violent and cruel no matter what the pacifists say. But a more pressing matter is Sayid being totally pigheaded.
"I am going to stay here, James."
Growing frustrated, Sawyer argues.
"This morning you were begging me to let you go. Why would you change your-"
Looking totally calm and collected in a way Dean doesn't like at all, Sayid interrupts him.
"Because... when I woke up in the jungle and I realized I was back on this island...I felt there was no purpose to it. But now I know exactly why I am here."
And shit, that ain't good news when a desperate guy starts talking about purpose and destiny.
"To get shot? Then what?" Exclaims Sawyer. Both men stare at each other but it's clear from Sayid's stance and face that he's not budging. "You're out of your mind." Sawyer declares.
"Come on, Sayid, we can totally make it!" Dean pleads.
Sayid turns to him and there is not even one glimpse of doubt.
"No. I am staying here."
Sighing, Sawyer turns to Dean.
"Sorry man, but it's both of you or nothing. I can't let only you out without busting my cover. I'll think of something else. Son of a bitch."
With a last frustrated look at Sayid, Sawyer gets out of the cell and leaves them there to wait for their death sentence. Dean leans his head against the wall and even if he knows that Sayid has his mindset and therefore won't listen, he tries to reason with him anyway.
"Look, Sayid, I don't know what you think you're here to do, but if you want to change the future, I can already tell you it won't work."
At least Sayid answers him.
"You cannot know that."
Repressing a snort, Dean tries to be as earnest as possible.
"Oh yes, I know. I tried it, Sayid, and even doing my best to fix things I just made it worse and what was meant to happen did so anyway. A friend of mine told me you can't change destiny."
But it's clear Sayid doesn't believe him.
The door creaks open and Ben stands in the doorway, buried in a hoodie and looking a bit shifty. When knowing what to look for, it's weird for Dean to see traces of who Ben will become in that young face.
"What happened to your glasses?" asks Sayid. The two lenses seem to be held together with only scotch tape.
"My dad." Ben answers and Dean has a very nasty thought for Roger Linus.
"For bringing me the sandwich?" Sayid ask quietly. Ben nods, and Sayid continues. "I know. My father was a hard man as well."
The poor kid's voice breaks.
"I really hate it here." He takes a deep breath. "If I let you out...will you take me with you, to your people?"
Sayid has a small smile and to Dean's surprise, he says softly.
"Yes, Ben, I will. That's why I'm here."
Dean barely has time to process what that means when Sam busts in the room. He stops short when he sees Ben, who walks back towards the cell in surprise, looking terrified. But Sam doesn't give the kid a second glance and hurries to the door, putting a rucksack down and looking at the lock.
"Dean, thank god. Look, someone's attacking the camp, I'm getting you out of here right now."
It's definitely a relief to see Sam again and Dean can't wait to get out. He always gets antsy behind bars.
"Awesome. Though the kidlet beat you to this amazing plan. Move over Sammy."
Sam blinks up at Dean in confusion, then looks at Ben who timidly walks forward and unlocks the door with a big set of keys.
"Oh. Okay then. Thanks." Sam says as Sayid and Dean exit the cell and they all walk towards the door, before taking advantage of the confusion outside to run to the jungle line. There are shouts all around as one of the houses burns big and bright in the night, people trying their best to limit the fire from spreading out and no one even takes notice of four shadows slipping into the darkness. Once they're out of sight, Sam grabs Dean by the arm.
"Wait, wait a second." He turns Dean around and fiddles with the handcuffs until they click open. Sam puts them in one of his pockets but brings one of Dean's hand up to squint at it. "Hey, what the fuck..."
"It's nothing." And frankly, it is nothing at all. What worries Dean is that he's lost sight of Sayid and Ben. "Where did they go?"
"Sayid? They went that way."
Suddenly, Sayid's words about purpose and destiny come back to Dean juxtaposed with the fact he took Ben's offer and not Sawyer's. Could it be that...
"Fuck, Sam, we got to stop Sayid." He's not even finished saying so that he starts running through the jungle, Sam on his heels.
"What? Why?"
Dean really hope he's wrong, but then they reach a path where a DHARMA bus is stopped in the middle of a trail with Ben in the headlights and Sayid is speaking to Jin.
"They don't know he released me. Please, Jin, I need to keep moving."
Jin takes his radio.
"Okay. Let me talk to him first." Jin speaks into the transmitter. "LaFleur, it's Jin here."
Dean approaches carefully, Sam quiet by his side.
The radio crackles. "Come in."
But before Jin can answer, Sayid knocks him out. Jin goes down on the ground hard. Young Ben looks amazed.
"Whoa! Where'd you learn to do that? Come on. We better go. He called LaFleur."
When Sayid picks up a gun, Dean knows he's unfortunately guessed Sayid's so-called purpose. He shouts a warning.
"No! Don't do that Sayid. You don't really wanna do that, trust me!"
"Do what?" Sam asks Dean urgently.
Sayid's not listening to Dean at all, though, and addresses young Ben.
"You were right about me." Sayid says, looking totally wrecked.
Figuring it's all or nothing, Dean starts running towards Sayid, gun be damned. Ben looks confused and so innocent. Dean can only hope Sayid can't go on with it.
"What?" Ben asks and before Dean can get close enough, Sayid aims right for the kid's heart.
"I am a killer."
The gun shot is so startling - Dean really had hoped Sayid could not shoot a kid in cold blood even if he'd turn out to grow up to be an evil overlord - that he freezes in his tracks and watches with horror as Ben's eyes grow big and round before he falls to the ground. Sam curses and rushes towards the little prone form as Sayid, on his knees by the road, doubles forward with a sob.
Sam kneels by Ben and Sayid staggers up and still shaky runs forward on the path, clutching his gun.
"Shit! Holy fuck, Dean, god." Sam says as he checks out Ben.
Dean kneels by their side, caressing Ben's hair off his forehead.
"You're going to be fine, kiddo." He says, hoping he sounds reassuring and confident. "He's alive, right?" Dean asks Sam because he has to be, it can't be otherwise.
Ben is breathing, although with difficulty.
"Yeah, but he needs medical attention, right now." Sam's about to haul Ben off the ground when Dean stops him.
"Okay, take him to the barracks, find a doctor. But give me the cuffs first, I've got to find Sayid."
Sam gives them up but he's indignant.
"What? Why! That man's nuts, he just shot a kid! Fuck him."
"He shouldn't have done it, you're right. But he thought he was doing the world a favor. He had no way to know it wouldn't work."
"Doing the world a favor by shooting a twelve year old kid?" Sam yells, flailing. Dean points to the boy.
"A twelve year old Benjamin Linus, Sam. Sayid tried to change the future, stop the genocide, whatever happened to the crash survivors here on this island the first time around and probably lots of shit that happened after."
Sam gapes, then looks down at the kid.
"That's Ben? Shit. But he's a little boy!"
Dean sighs as he gets up.
"Yes, I know. Who grows up to be a very bad man, don't even doubt it. He's going to survive this, it's absolutely certain."
If Dean doesn't start to try to catch Sayid now, he's at risk of not finding him at all. It's maybe too late already, because Dean wouldn't be surprised Sayid wants to off himself now. He knows he'd think about it.
"I've got to tell Sayid there was nothing he could do, that he couldn't have stopped what happened."
"He could NOT have shot him!" Sam says, outraged. When Dean starts going anyway, Sam curses. "Dammit, Dean, we shouldn't split again, come on."
Dean hates it too.
"Do what you want, Sam, but I got to find him."
Jin is starting to groan and stir, and Dean leaves him with Sam and starts to jog in the general direction Sayid took. When he stops to try and hear a clue of Sayid's whereabouts, Dean's surprised to hear ruffling behind him and thinks to hide before Sam shouts after him.
"Wait for me, idiot."
"What about Ben?"
"Jin's taking him to Juliet." They can't really run in the undergrowth, especially as dark as it's now, and Dean just hopes Sayid just went straight ahead. After a minute, Sam asks quietly. "He's really going to be fine?"
"Yeah. For better or for worse."
Hysterical laughter coming from a bit ahead to their right makes them stop walking. Dean whispers to Sam.
"Look, let me handle him okay?"
Sam puts his backpack down and comes up with an old handgun. His face is set and hard.
"Okay, but he only looks at you funny and he's going down."
Dean nods, then he walks slowly in the clearing, both hands up while Sayid laughs so much he's taken with the hiccups.
"Hey, hey, Sayid! It's me, Dean."
Sayid looks up from where he's sitting cross-legged with his back to a tree.
"I can't."
He's smiling, but Dean can see that he's crying at the same time.
"What, Sayid? What can't you do?"
Showing Dean the gun, Sayid takes it, and then puts it in his mouth in one swift movement. Dean has only time to lunge forward crying "NO!" that he hears the click of the gun but no detonation. Sayid takes it out and laughs some more.
"I cannot kill myself. I could kill a child," Sayid voice's crack badly. "But the Island will not let me die."
Walking slowly and steadily, Dean reaches Sayid and manages to take the gun from Sayid's limp hands and put it in the back of his jeans.
"Ben's going to live, Sayid. You didn't kill him." He says softly. "No matter what you try to do, you can't change the future."
Sayid looks up at him with big watery eyes.
"He is alive?"
Dean nods.
"He is." Going with what Sayid told him just a second ago, Dean adds. "The Island is not going to let him die. You met him in 2004, he can't die in 1977. Jin's taking him to the doctor right now."
Blinking, Sayid's obviously tries to follow his logic, then his face crumbles.
"He lives." He says, tone deaf. "Nothing changes." Dean tries to suppress his wince, but Sayid sees it. "Oh." There's a long pause where Dean can't even meet Sayid's eyes. He looks down at the tips of his boots, shrugs.
"Everything stays the same."
After a couples of seconds of silence while it hits home, Sayid doubles up forward, and starts wheezing with big uncontrollable sobs that seems to rip him in half. And shit... do you come back from shooting a kid point blank? Not knowing what to do, Dean steps forward and puts a gentle hand on his shoulder blade, and when Sayid doesn't shrug him off, he rubs soothingly with small circles, which makes Sayid lose it even more.
"Shhhht." Dean whispers awkwardly, and to his surprise, Sayid grips him by the waist and hauls him close, clinging desperately to him while he cries into Dean t-shirt.
"Dean?" Sam shouts, worried.
Carding his fingers in Sayid's curly hair, Dean shushes him some more, then speaks up.
"It's okay, Sam. Give us a minute, will you? Please."
"Are you sure?"
"I'm sure. Just stand guard... just one moment, okay?" Sayid is shaking like a leaf and hanging on for dear life, and when Sam doesn't speak some more, Dean knows Sayid's got some privacy. "Okay, it's okay. Shhhht." He whispers to Sayid.
"Kill me. Please, Dean, please kill me." Sayid whines. He looks up at him, expectant. "You said you kill monsters for a living. I am a monster. Please."
It makes something twist deep in Dean's gut because he can relate so much, he's done so many horrors.
"We can all be monsters, Sayid. I was one, too. Worse than you could ever be."
Sayid shakes his head.
"No, no you are not. You are a good man, and you will do the world a favor by killing me, I can assure you of that."
"I can't judge if you deserve to live or die, it's not my job. I just need you to understand that what you just did had already happened. It's a fucking vicious circle, you had to do it because it was already written." Dean kneels down in front of Sayid, which brings them to the same level and he can look at the other man right in the eyes. "No one can change destiny."
He uses his thumb to swipe Sayid's cheekbone free of tears, and Sayid rolls his head into the touch, closing his eyes. Upon a crazily tender impulse to soothe that man who reminds him so much of himself, Dean kisses Sayid's forehead.
"I'm not gonna lie and tell you everything's going to be okay. But you'll learn to live with it."
Dean's totally surprised when Sayid inches closed and kisses him on the mouth.
Shocked, he doesn't move and that makes Sayid bolder, his kiss more insisting. Dean knows the desperate need for a connection of any sort when you're deep into despair, and yeah, he can give Sayid this, so he kisses back.
Sayid’s hands are now clenching Deans biceps, so hard he knows he'll get bruises. Dean brings his own hands up to Sayid's face and kisses him with all he's got. What Sayid needs right now is to feel something beside the pain taking all the place down inside. He's obviously totally shattered of having shot a child, even if was Ben, and it reassures Dean a bit because this is so much better than not caring at all. It means there are still morals deep down, no matter how twisted it comes out. Sayid's splintering in a thousand little pieces and if a little comfort can help him keep it together, Dean's going to give it.
There's nothing really sexual in the kiss, even if it's deep and hard: it's like Sayid wishes to climb out of his skin and hide in Dean's, get totally lost and never come back. When one of Sayid's hand moves up Dean's arm and sneaks into his t-shirt sleeve to splay open on his shoulder, Dean knows it's the the feeling of skin to skin that Sayid craves, not a sign that he wants more, wants him. Dean lets Sayid control the pace of the kiss for a bit before winding it down slowly. He doesn't stop all at once but gives Sayid shorter kisses, ending up close mouthed before pulling him in a hug. Sayid burrows his face in Dean's neck, and even if he's still crying a little, he's much calmer.
"Shht. I know, I know." Dean says, rubbing Sayid's back. He hates to push, but he has to. "You got to keep it together Sayid. And we have to leave now, the DHARMA guys will be here to look for us any minute now."
With a big shaking sigh, Sayid straightens up, and Dean lets him go. Sayid doesn't look strong and fearless like the guy he met just this morning, but he's definitely got his game face on.
"You go. I will turn myself in. Confess."
Dean shakes his head.
"If you do that, they'll kill you." Before Sayid adds a word, Dean stops him. "I know that's what you think you want, and if you still want to it later, I won't be able to stop you. But for right now, I need your help."
"My help?"
"Yes. Me and Sam, we don't know jack shit about this Island, how to get around. We need you to take us somewhere the black smoke is."
Sayid frowns, obviously taken aback.
"It's everywhere, but you need to get out of the fenced perimeter. The sonic wall stops it."
Dean nods.
"That's a start. But it would be easier if you could help us get around for a little bit. Could you do that for me? Please?"
It's a shameless attempt to give Sayid a bit of purpose and try to stall his self-destructive tendencies, but it's also true. They could use his help.
"I... I don't know."
If Dean leaves him here, Sayid will run to the village - or even worse, to Oldham - and beg to be killed. Dean's playing shamelessly on the sympathy points he just earned a few moments ago.
"I really need your help. Please."
Sayid takes a deep breath and seems to brace himself.
"Two days, maximum."
Dean closes his eyes in relief, nods and squeezes Sayid's shoulder.
"That's great. Thank you."
He gets up and whistles softly. After a couple of seconds Sam appears at the end of the clearing. He still has his gun out and gives Sayid a look that is full of hostility, before looking back at Dean.
"About time." He says curtly. "We need to get a move on, they're going to come looking real soon."
"Yeah, we're going." As Dean says so, Sayid gets up, dusts his pants and after a look at Dean, starts walking away from where he shot Ben. Sam's frowning but Dean gestures to him. "C'mon Sammy. We gotta go find where that demon's from."
***
It takes about an hour to reach the fence and Sayid confirms that Dean had a great idea climbing it coming in. A goddamn killing sonic fence! They shimmy up and down again, while Dean flips the bird to the camera. Those DHARMA guys are just blood thirsty freaks, for real. To avoid getting caught up easily, from then on, they avoid beaten paths and walk in the jungle. Dean makes them go back and forth, up and down through streams and using the terrain as much as possible with the best techniques to lose any followers he learned from John. It makes their progress a lot slower, but definitely safer. A bit before dawn, they stop for a break and Dean stretches on the jungle's floor, ready for a power nap.
"I will take first watch." Sayid says.
"I'm not tired." Sam replies, and one look at him tells Dean that he's definitely not trusting Sayid, and that his own watch will be more to keep an eye on the Iraqi than anything. Sam's sitting with his back to the tree that is between Dean and Sayid, like a watchdog.
"Okay then. C'mere Sayid." Dean says, patting the ground by his side. Sam glares at the motion but Dean ignores him. "You need to rest."
Sayid hesitates, but finally complies, walking in front of Sam and then lying down by Dean's side. He's about four inches away, so Dean rolls on his side so they are closer and puts a reassuring hand on Sayid's arm.
"You're probably not going to be able to sleep right now." Dean hears Sam snort derisively and Sayid tenses even more. Cursing silently at his righteous little brother, Dean squeezes Sayid's arm. "But close your eyes, try to empty your mind and breathe deeply."
Obediently, Sayid does as instructed and it's not long that Dean lets himself drift to sleep, knowing Sam's there to protect them.
***
Dean wakes up from a boot pushing his leg insistently. Completely groggy, he blinks up and up and up at Sam, who's checking out the jungle to his left.
"I've heard some people, real stealthy though. Definitely not DHARMA. They're gone now, they didn't see us, but we have to go." He whispers.
"Hostiles?" Dean whispers back. Sam nods and when Dean looks at Sayid, he sees the other man has his eyes open and is staring at Dean's hand on his arm. Dean must have fallen asleep like that. He squeezes Sayid's arm and sits up, checking his watch. He got maybe three hours of sleep, definitely not enough since he had not slept in god knows how long. Over two days, maybe more.
Knowing they are in Hostile territory now, Sam, Dean and Sayid make their way as silently as possible. Sayid whispered that he and his friends encountered the smoke monster around here before and to be on the watch for a clicking noise that announces it’s presence.
Sam and Dean exchange puzzled looks, because they've never heard a demon click, but nonetheless they stay alert. At one point, they reach a very old construction that looks like an old rock temple.
When asked, Sayid shakes his head: he's never seen it before. Sam's observing the artwork and hieroglyphs on the side when they hear footsteps coming closer. Sam hurries to hide with Sayid and Dean by the trees, and they see a man with short dark hair carrying a unconscious Ben in his arms. Sayid tenses up but Dean grips his arm so he stays still. When the man disappears inside the temple with Ben, Sam turns to Sayid.
"Do you know who that is?"
Sayid nods.
"He's one of the Others. Richard."
Sam looks at Dean.
"Oh. From what I learned, Richard Alpert is the Hostiles’ leader. But why is Ben here with him and not being taken care of by doctors?”
Shrugging, Dean gets up.
"I don't know. But I'm going in there to find out."
Without another word, the three of them slink by the door that permits them to cross an outer wall and opens up to more jungle. There is an eerie calm inside the walls; no birds chirping, not even the sound of the insects that were making Dean's life only minutes ago. It's creepy as fuck and Dean checks the gun he took from Sayid, reassuring himself with the motions but knowing it won't do any good if they come face to face with the demon right now. Being extra careful to be as discreet as they can, since any loud noise would detonate and reveal their presence, they walk for almost half a mile towards an almost pyramid-like structure that must be the temple itself.
There is no one around; Dean had been half expecting guards or something, but the horror stories about the infamous smoke monster seem to be enough to guarantee the temple against most trespassers. Once in by the main door, Sam and him sweep the small lobby and after wordless communication Dean goes first down the staircase that's the only way to the heart of the temple. The corridor is dark but there are flickering lights further away. They approach as silently as possible, Sayid who's unarmed in the middle as Sam takes the rear.
As Dean expected, the room at the end is lighted completely by candles - dozens of flames dancing, even more that aren't - all more or less burned. There are baskets littered around full of fruits and other offerings and Richard has placed Ben on an long rock altar near the back wall. The kid is so still he doesn't seem to breathe and Dean feels Sayid shudder. With his back to the door, Richard is oblivious to their presence and continues chanting in Latin about health and life, power and destiny.
As far as they can see, Richard seems to have both hands on Ben's chest and Dean wonders what they should do, if they should stop it. But he knows they can't change the past, so when Sam points to a demon uncoiling from a whole in the mouth of a big statue that looks like Anubis set on wall over the altar and that the smoke goes to hover over Ben's body, Dean raises a hand. It's not their place to intervene, he's sure of it, call it a gut feeling. This was Ben's destiny all along. Anyway, as soon as the demon touches Ben, there is a very loud buzzing that starts to get louder, just like it happened on the plane. Once more, a bright white light overtakes them and Dean loses consciousness.
***
He blinks awake in total darkness, and he's barely taken a deep breath when he hears Sam.
"Dean?"
"Right here, Sam. You there too, Sayid?"
"Yes."
There is some ruffling and a match cracks, which lets them see they are still in the temple before it flickers out between Sam’s fingers. Sam gets up and goes to light one of the candles, and then several more so they can look around a bit. One thing is for sure, it's that there are a lot more candles than a couple of minutes ago. The walls are covered with them almost from top to bottom. Sam's examining the Anubis-like statue, trying to investigate the whole while Sayid moves to a doorway at the side, leading to another room.
"Sam? Did you bring chalk or something like it?" Dean asks, going through Sam's sack. "I think this would be the perfect place for a Devil's Trap."
"Right. Yes, in the small pocket in the front."
Without waiting, they get to work, drawing a trap on the floor by the altar. Dean doesn't know when the demon will get back, but they're working as fast as they can, better be safe than sorry.
"So, that makes Richard a warlock?" Dean asks.
"I guess so." Sam says as he finishes the last sigil.
"Richard Alpert did not age at all between 1974 and 2004." Adds Sayid as he comes back in the room with a newspaper. He points to the header. "Dated from two weeks before Flight 316. It's the paper with the article about John Locke's death."
Dean's shoulder sag in relief when he realizes they're back in their own present. Or whatever. Time shifting is so confusing. He doesn't even want to think about why they made it back to their own timelines, because his head is going to explode. He'll let Sam theorize to his little heart's content, later.
"Oh thank god. I am sooo not cut for the seventies."
Sam grins.
"Really? You should update your music collection then, some could think otherwise."
Dean's about to rant about how Sam's never had any respect for the classics when there's some ruffling in the wall. Whatever is coming is doing it fast and just like that, the adrenaline spikes as the demon starts coming out of the statue's mouth. It comes straight for them, rapid and possibly deadly and Dean and Sam leap back out of the way. Luckily, in its haste to get to them, the demon goes right over the Devil's trap that’s not even hidden. It flattens against the invisible curved wall of the interior of the trap, barely inches from Dean's face. The smoke starts to circle around, fast and even faster like a tornado, clicking and making god awful noises that are almost mechanical. It's terrifying but also strangely beautiful and for a moment there Dean can only stand still and gape.
Sayid is hovering near the door, ready to flee but totally fascinated by it all too. Dean's got to admit is pretty impressive, they've never trapped a demon in its smoke form before.
The first to get his wits back is Sam. He starts declaiming the exorcism, and Dean is relieved to see he's using the old fashioned way. The Hand of Power had its utility before it got way too insane with the demon blood addiction, and Dean still has nightmares about how it nearly shot everything all to Hell. Literally.
Even with the Latin, Sam now knows how to bend the exorcisms so the demon is not only banished to Hell, but literally killed and that's what he does here. His voice is strong and confident, and Dean shivers thinking of the power he once had and could possibly seek again. The black smoke realizes that it's fucked half way, trashes around in the trap even more violently but then starts to flicker with bursts of light, making an oil-like puddle on the floor sizzling yellow and green until nothing is left.
The silence that follows feels eerily like being deaf.
***
"Really? Just like that? A prayer and the smoke monster is gone?" Hurley's eyes are opened so wide, Dean wonders if they are going to fall out of his head.
"Yep, that's it." Dean says, grinning.
They're all sitting in Sawyer and Juliet's living room, the house looking a little worse for wear as it seems it was abandoned from 2004 onward. Sayid's sitting by himself, looking out of the window. He hasn't spokenmuch since they came back from the temple to find everyone in the right era. Even Faraday's there now, although no one explained them howthat happened.
A smiling Sun is sitting on an equally ecstatic Jin's lap, and Dean hasn’t seen them not touching since they've arrived. Sun's absolutely gorgeous when she drops the ice queen facade, a real wet dream come true, but she and Jin are so cute that Dean feels guilty for even thinking it.
Sun and Frank, Flight 316's pilot, had their own crazy story to tell. They avoided the back to the future trip, but were lead to the barracks by a mysterious man who vanished just as they got to destination. Even if making sense of everything is as pleasant as banging your head on a brick wall, the theory that has the most followers is that everyone came back to 2007 once the Island was certain the events would proceed as supposed to, most having served a purpose in it all.
Jack, Sawyer, Kate and Juliet have mostly just stared and blinked as Sam and Dean told everyone how they took care the demon, but Miles has listened carefully and he's squinting at them, thoughtful.
"It's not Remington, is it." It's not even said as a question, more like an affirmation. Sam and Dean look at each other. "You guys are not Sam and Dean Remington, you're Sam and Dean Winchester." Mile adds.
Busted, but that doesn't matter, right? Dean rubs the back of his head and Hurley gapes.
"What, you've heard of them? Are they famous? Or did a ghost tell you that?"
Miles rolls his eyes.
"No ghost told me anything, Bib. I don't know what happened since I got here, but their dad is a crazy mofo well known in the hunter's community, and Deano here was starting to make a name for himself. There were even rumors the younger Winchester had joined the family business again."
"What?" Jack finally seems shaken out of his apathy. "You guys are demon hunters?"
There's no point in hiding anything now, and it's Sam who answers.
"Demons, ghosts, vampires, werewolves..." He shrugs when Jack just gapes.
"As thrilled as I am to learn all of this shit is maybe real," Sawyer says while drawling his words even more than usual, "How the hell do we get off this rock?"
Kate shakes her head.
"We can't go yet, we have to find Claire."
Sawyer winces.
"We haven't seen her in three years, Kate."
"You think she's dead?"
"Maybe she didn't move in time, that's why you never saw her." Sun suggests.
This time Sawyer nods.
"Could be.' He gets up. "Fine then, let's get a move on."
Obviously, Sawyer's gotten used to being in charge and his friends fall in step pretty quickly. Dean's checking the rifle he took in a house when Sam speaks up.
"I don't think we should all go in the jungle looking for Claire."
Sawyer stops, one hand on the door handle, and looks back with a raised eyebrow.
"You said you took care of the smoke monster. The more we are, the more chance we have to find her."
"I bet Claire must be wherever Jacob is. At the cabin." Says Sam. "We find it, we find her. No need to be all there."
"Dude, I'm not looking for that crazy hopping cabin again. No way." Protests Hurley.
"But you're our best chance at finding it, Hurley. We'll go with you, Miles too."
"And me!" Add Kate and Jack at the same time.
"Oh, I'm going too." Sawyer adds, resolute and it's clear no one will make him change his mind on that.
Sam shrugs as if he doesn't give a damn.
"Cool, if you want. The Island moves, but it does stay put for days at a time. Sayid, Dan and Juliet should go with Frank to that radio tower you guys talked about and try to rig something for a signal."
"Widmore gave me a frequency that we could try to use to contact him." Sun adds. Sayid minutely flinches at the name, but doesn't say anything. Dean has little doubt that something like 'the enemies of my enemies could be useful' is going trough his head.
"Maybe we'll get lucky." Dean chimes in.
"Lucky?" Hurley says, so disbelievingly that after a bit everyone starts laughing.
"Maybe our luck is turning, guys." Dean says with a grin. "And anyway, we've got nothing to lose trying."
"I have an idea." Sayid says, finally leaving his chair by the window and the wave of relief to see him finally react to something is palpable in the room.
Everyone but Sam and Dean have been walking on tiptoe around him, although Sayid has avoided all contact. Dean smiles and when Sayid walks by, he gives him a little tap on the back.
"Cool. Then we'll be out of here by no time, mark my words." Sayid doesn't smile, but almost, and Dean wonders if they're not going to get him out of his funk, after all. Sayid's a survivor; if he decides to fight, he'll be okay.
"Don't jinx it, pretty boy." Sawyer mutters, who then walks to Juliet and bends down to kiss her softly on the lips. "Be careful, okay? Smokey might be gone, but Richard and his merry gang are still out there, with Ben on top if Sun here didn't scramble his evil brain to mush."
Juliet smiles up at him.
"Okay, I'll be careful. You too."
Sawyer winks at her.
"You know I am, baby. And besides, I'm with the three ghostbusters, what could possibly go wrong?"
She rolls her eyes and pushes him in the center of the chest.
"Don't jinx it either, idiot."
***
Finding the cabin is surprisingly easy, after all. They follow Hurley, who keeps complaining about how unfair it is that it's always him doing the crazy stuff when suddenly there's a little rundown shack, right in the middle of a clearing.
As everyone walks forward, Dean notices a ring of dust on the ground and bends down to examine it, taking a bit in his fingers and smelling it.
"Goofer dust." He tells Sam. Usually for keeping something out, but maybe here to keep something safely in.
"Claire?" Bellows Jack and Dean winces. Way to go for being discreet until they know what they are up against.
The cabin door starts to open and everyone raises his or her guns - except Hurley, who uses Sam as a personal shield. A middle aged man leans against the door frame, smirking at them and visibly unimpressed by the fire power aimed right at him.
It's Jack who breaks the silence, with an incredulous "Dad?"
"Hi, son. It's about time."
Sawyer frowns, then looks at Jack.
"Didn't you tell me your daddy died?"
Jack closes his mouth shut for a second. He's obviously in shock, swallows audibly and manages to say roughly, on the verge of tears.
"He did, I put his corpse on the plane. You can see him? Does everyone see him?"
"We can see him, Jack." Kate says softly.
Dean's read the file on Christian, knows he died in Sidney, so he's as confused as everybody.
"It's a ghost." Miles says, and Christian turns his sardonic blue eyes towards him and smirks.
"Don't say that so demeaningly, boy." He looks at everyone in turn before fixing his gaze on Jack. "Now if you don't mind, I need to talk with my son for a minute. I've been waiting a long time to do so."
Dean and Sam share a look: it's maybe not the best idea in the world. But Miles tilts his head to the side.
"Go, Jack. It's safe, he has no bad intentions toward you."
Christian nods at him, but it's a bit ironic.
"Thank you, Miles."
Jack's rooted in place, but then Sawyer goes to him, puts briefly a hand on Jack's neck as he speaks in his ear. Jack looks at Sawyer for a long moment, then takes a deep breath and walks towards the cabin, where Christian has entered. The door closes with much cracking and Hurley finally comes out from behind Sam.
"Dude, that's freaky. At least Charlie was, you know, Charlie."
Sawyer makes a face, then looks around.
"You saw Charlie?"
"Oh, not here, in California. He had a new haircut, looked sharp. He told me to come back by Flight 316 and bring him a guitar."
"Ooookay" Sawyer drawls, but Hurley doesn't seem to care at all. It's Kate who's starting to fidget, looking at the cabin.
"What's going on? What if Jack needs help? And where is Claire?"
But as she says so, the door opens again and Jack comes out, eyes wide and then he smiles, stepping to the side. A petite blond girl, definitely Claire Littleton, looks out from the cabin, blinking, then smiles at her friends.
Kate cries out in joy and runs to her, taking Claire in a big embrace, closely followed by Sawyer who literally lifts her up in a bear hug, making her squeal in delight. She has barely touched ground when Hurley does the same, practically smothering the poor girl.
He hasn't seen people being this happy or even smile this much since they got on this frigging Island, with the exception Sun and Jin earlier, so the scene makes Dean grin too. To be honest, he had very thin hopes of finding the girl alive. Although...
Taken with doubt, Dean asks Miles.
"It's her, right?"
Miles nods.
"It's her alright." He turns to wink at Dean. "And she's still hot."
"What about Christian Shephard?" Wonders Sam.
Miles closes his eyes, then shakes his head.
"He's gone. Delivered his message, could move on. The only one left is Jacob."
"Where?" asks Sam, glancing around.
"He's all around, since we passed the goofer dust. In every blade of grass, in every tree, in the cabin itself. He's the soul of the Island."
"Can we get rid of him? Should we do anything?" Wonders Sam.
Miles concentrates, frowns.
"He just wants to be free to go where he wants on the Island, it's Richard who trapped him and in part it could have been to protect him from the demon. Or so he says."
"If we break the goofer dust, will he go kill Richard?" Dean asks.
"I don't think so, no. He loves him, Locke and the Others. Calls them his children. Even says the prodigal son is back and that he's happy about it. I think the best would be to leave him be."
Dean turns to Sam and they exchange a meaningful look. Without knowing exactly what holds Jacob to the Island, getting rid of the spirit would be extremely difficult anyway.
"Ok, then. Guys?" Dean cries out to the little gang still hugging and celebrating, "I think we should call the radio tower, see how it's going over there, what do you think?"
Sawyer, who when he's grinning has a killer sets of dimples, takes out his walkie-talkie.
"Right, good idea." He presses the button. "Jin? Do you read me? Come in."
"This is Jin, how are you guys doing?"
Sawyer grins.
"We're fine, we got the little mamacita back, safe and sound."
There's happy shouts at the other end, then "That's great news! We're still working on the tower."
"Everyone stay there, we're coming over. Copy that."
"We're not moving until you get here."
"Excellent. LaFle..., James out." With a grin, Sawyer announces. "Okay, boys and girls, we have a little walk on the program. Giddy up!"
As they walk by the goofer dust circle, Dean nudges a big groove open in it with his boot. He doesn't know what he was expecting, but apart from some rustling in the leaves and something that sounds like whispers whisking by them, there's no manifestation of Jacob at all. Dean's not really sad about that.
***
The best surprise was yet to come, though, because when their little group got to the tower, Sayid was talking excitedly on the radio, but he takes a moment to wave at them and smiles at Dean.
"Does he have a radio contact with the outside?" Jack asks, still holding hands with Claire. Turns out that Blondie is his half sister. That was not in their files, although Dean is pretty sure that the files held only what Ben wanted them to know and not one iota more.
Jin grins and gives them a double thumb up.
"Yes, and they're close! Sayid's arranging for a meeting point for us and for a big enough boat to go get the survivors of the plane crash on the smaller island."
"You better not be shitting me." Sawyer says, intent, as Juliet practically bounces to him with a smile that makes her look ten years younger than usual.
Shaking his head, Jin can't stop smiling either.
"I'm not. It is Desmond."
Sawyer's jaw falls open and Dean's got to admit the coincidence is enormous. Did the Scot go back to see Eloise and got new coordinates? Is it because he was not done with the Island, as she had said, and he more or less stumbled upon them by accident? Frankly, Dean doesn't give a crap, if they're getting off this Island ASAP. Judging by the hope on everyone's faces, he's not alone.
Jack's grin is particularly wide, and he brings Claire's hand to his mouth to kiss her fingers lightly.
"You hear that? We're going home."
The End
Final author's note:
Okay, so I've been obsessive in following a lot of the Lost S5 events in this fic, sometimes literally, which was my excuse for waiting so long before getting a good start on it. Obviously it could not fit all the way through, with Lost still going even after I finished the fic, but I hope you enjoyed it anyway. Even more so, I pray it was readable if you are not a Lost fan or only knew just a bit about the premises, and could follow Dean on the ride.
I want to acknowledge here the tremendous support I got from my friends for this, who always believed in me... way more than I did myself at one point. I could not have done it without you. I'd screw up and would miss a name - making me crawl under a rock in shame - if I tried to name you all, but you know who you are and I love you dearly. ♥
Lastly, comments are love in all forms, it's like FOOD FOR THE SOUL, GUYS! *grins* don't forget to go see the art made by chosenfire28 here and give her some love too!
Thank you so much for reading ♥