Waiting for you to come through (part 1/4), Jensen/Jared, NC-17
Title: Waiting for you to come through (part 1/4)
Prompt: Someone like you, for abouttwoboys
Pairing: Jensen/JDM, various minor pairings with Jared including Jared/Sandy, Jensen/Jared.
Rating: NC-17
Words: almost 20 000 words overall
Beta: by my dear friend Sue ♥
Disclaimer: Not mine. I really lifted a lot more than I thought from the movie and the book it's from, "Animal Husbandry" by Laura Zigman. It just.... worked for me that way. Please don't sue!
Summary: The story about the one that got away and the one he never saw coming.
There is a faint buzzing in the audience as everyone waits for the end of the commercial break. Jensen knows that the next segment will have Samantha going for the kill with her current guest, the high point of today's show. It is a chance to score points with the network executives and prove that they deserve their new national syndication. The Samantha Ferris Show aims to take over ratings in the afternoon slot just before Oprah, nothing less.
The crowd animator riles the audience which brakes into applauses as they get back on air. Jensen walks to the edge of the set, curious to see if it will go as planned in the production meeting.
Samantha smiles at the camera, all charm and rugged sensuality in her form fitting black business suit.
"We're back with Former senator George J. Mitchell, who's actually conducting a vast investigation on steroid use in Major league baseball."
Jensen is pretty proud of having managed to book the senator for today. Barry Bonds is closing fast on Hank Aaron's home run record and the odor of scandal follows half a step behind. Everyone is on edge as if Mitchell has answers and will spill the beans before the publication of his report set for later in the year.
The goal of the show is to entertain but also to appeal to the common sense and criticism of the audience. Jensen's job is to supply a steady diet of raw meat to satisfy Samantha. She's demanding and requests guests who constitute a challenge: she loves ribbing them until they finally crack. Right now, she has found a way to make Mitchell admit that he has hard proof and testimonies about several big names.
The 'ohhhh' of the crowd makes Jensen grin. He flips his phone open and goes back to work.
"Hey Rick! It's Jensen! How are ya?"
"Jensen? Doing fine, man, thanks. Busy, busy busy!"
In short: get to the point.
"Did you hear? We've gone national!" He says, putting as much enthusiasm as he can in his voice.
"Really? Congratulations!"
"Thanks. Well it's a new format. We're just starting up, major exposure, and I think it's right up Rihanna's alley."
"She is about to go to NY to give a couple of shows."
He is thoughtful, a good sign.
"Surely Def Jam would appreciate the push and I'm lining up great company. Trust me, everyone wants on."
"It's noted, I'll run it by them. I'll get back to you soon."
It's good for a first approach and Jensen makes a mental note to call him again in two days if he hears nothing.
"Great! Don't wait too long though, it's filling up! Bye Rick!"
Closing his phone, Jensen goes next to Jared Padalecki, the show's writer and producer. Though they have worked together for six months and have offices right next to each other, Jensen knows little about Jared but that he is tall, charming, and according to office legend, a serial womanizer. Jared is looking at the set with a smirk, visibly satisfied, when Jensen whispers.
"Going as planned?"
Jared clamps a hand on the microphone part of his headset, looks at Jensen while making a thumb up.
"Hell yeah. Several big players agencies are on the phone freaking out and threatening to sue if we air any names!"
"Cool!"
"You book 'em, I cook 'em." Jared winks.
When the show ends, Jared and Jensen walk toward the office space. Jared immediately lights up a cigarette, ignoring as usual the non-smoking law. That's when Jensen's phone vibrate. It's Gabe.
"Yeah? Any news on Viggo?"
"Fuck Jen, I just can't get through! It's like I'm trying to get hold of Bin Laden. They tell me he's off in the woods and they can't get a hold of him? Geez."
Jensen sighs.
"Well keep trying man!"
"Yeah yeah."
Pocketing his phone, Jensen whines.
"Jesus, tracking down Viggo is going to kill me. There is absolutely no way to get through and Samantha won't let it go. She's fucking obsessed."
Jared waves dismissively and takes another drag.
"You'll never get through. He's a crazy fucker, if he doesn't want to be found, it can take weeks."
That's helpful! Jensen lets his voice drip with sarcasm.
"Thank you Jared. You always know what to say to motivate me. What would I do without you, I don't know."
Shaking his head, Jared sniggers.
"Well, you are losing your time over this. If you can't have Viggo, go for Exene."
"And who would that be?"
"Exene Cervenka, his ex-wife. They're still friends, as far as I've heard. She's an ex-punk princess, very interesting and who knows, maybe she'll let go a gem or two about Viggo in the process. Pretty sure Samantha would find her fascinating."
Seeing the new PA walking towards them, a short blonde with a cute smile, Jared digs in his front jean pocket and extends his big paw to her, a pair of good loops in his palm. He smiles at her, and casually remarks.
"Hey, Alona! You left these earrings in my bathroom."
He just ambles on, not even pausing and the poor girl stops in her tracks, blinking at her hand. Girl who set foot in the studio for the first time ever the day before, it has to be said. Must be a personal record for Jared at the office, although Jensen would not bet on it.
"You don't waste any time."
Jared only shrugs a bit.
"Cynic."
Rolling his eyes, Jensen grumbles.
"Slut."
**
In the little kitchenette, they come face to face with a tall man who gives them a bright dimpled smile. Jared shakes his hand, clapping him on the shoulder amicably.
"Hey Jeff!"
"Jared! Nice to see you!"
He then turns to smile at Jensen, who feels his heart thud. He is gorgeous.
"Hi, I'm Jeffrey Dean Morgan."
Still a bit awestruck, Jensen has to blink once before gathering his wit. He thinks he's supposed to recognize the name. No one he's booked though. He'd know.
"Huh, hi."
Grabbing a handful of sugar cubes, Jared dumps them in his coffee before helpfully pushing the conversation forward.
"Jeff's our new executive producer."
It all comes back in a flash, and Jensen almost hits himself on the forehead.
"Oh, right! Right! We've seen a sample of your work for ABC. I can't wait to hear your ideas for our show."
Jeff smiles widely. He is definitely very very handsome.
"Really? Thanks, I am sure we'll work great together."
As he says it, his eyes do a quick up and down assessing of Jensen, who feels a blush rising. If he is reading this right, the interest is mutual. Jensen looks toward Jared who has his eyebrows raised in amusement and makes a crude blowjob gesture behind Jeff's back. That guy is just unbelievable. Ignoring him, Jensen extends his hand.
"I'm Jensen Ackles."
Beautiful hands, too, he can't help but notice, and a handshake that maybe lasts a tad too long.
"Very pleased to meet you, Jensen. I heard that Amy Winehouse's people are giving you a hard time?"
Shaking his head, Jensen agrees.
"Yeah, they're afraid it's gonna turn into questioning about rehab and drug abuse."
"Which is, uh, right."
They exchange a grin.
"Of course."
Jeff winks.
"So guarantee Samantha won't bring it up, and we'll plant somebody in the audience to initiate it during Q&A."
Impressive. And sneaky. There is only one thing to say.
"I think you came to the right show, Jeffrey Dean Morgan."
**
Both feet on Chris' living room table, Jensen takes a sip of his beer as his best friend tunes his guitar for the fifth time in the last half hour. He's flipping half heartedly through the latest issue of the men's magazine Chris works at as an editor.
"So he's cute."
Chris' affirmation jars Jensen out of his daydream. He approves.
"Very."
Tilting his head, Chris makes a humming noise.
"Care to elaborate?"
That's easy because Jensen has been observing very, very closely every chance he got in the last week. Enough to have counted the number of times Jeff passes in front of his office each day (on a good day, about six).
"Manly. Warm brown eyes, wide shoulders, awesome ass that even a straight man would want to take a bit of. Usually dresses casual with jeans plus a shirt and tie."
A snort escapes Chris.
"Oh, that guy again."
Jensen flips him off and sighs, peeling off his beer label. Sensing the catch, Chris prompts him.
"D'you think he bats for the home team?"
Groaning, Jensen lets his head fall against the couch.
"My gut feeling is that he does, but I learned he has a girlfriend."
"Why are we having this conversation?"
Straightening up, Jensen puts his empty bottle on the table and rubs his hands on his thighs.
"You know what? You're right. He's too much work. And even if he was up to it, with my luck, he'd probably end up marrying her anyway."
Chris winks.
"Wow. There's the cynical bitch I know and love."
Saying it firmly, as if it would just push the want away, Jensen makes a gesture in the air.
"So that's it. Case closed. Leaving this one alone."
**
Of course that resolution gets thrown aside at the first occasion. Meaning that when Jeff appears in Jensen's office doorway and leans on the frame, all charm and sex appeal, and asks if he wants to go grab a bite? Jensen just smiles widely and agrees. Fervently.
They are eating hot dogs in Battery Park when Jensen takes a deep breath and asks:
"So, what else do I need to know about you? Apart from the fact that you drown all the food I've seen you eat in Ketchup, most probably to the chagrin of your girlfriend?"
He makes the word girlfriend sound like a question, and Jeff nods with a smile while he looks away.
"Sammy. Yeah. She hates it."
It stings, but Jensen feels a deep masochist need to know more. To know everything.
"Whom you've been dating now for…"
"Three years."
Jensen almost chokes on his bite.
"Three -" He clears his throat and tries to hide his dismay the best he can. "Excuse me. Three years. Wow. That's, um-- huh. More serious than I ... would've guessed, you know, off the cuff."
He shrugs, hoping that he looks totally nonplussed and surely makes a very bad job of it. Jeff seems to be miles away.
"I guess it is." He suddenly turns all of his attention to Jensen. "You think you ever get to the moment where you just now it's the right one? That's it. That's the person you're meant to be with forever."
Sighing, Jensen raises his eyebrows and smiles softly. He does wish for an epiphany like that, needs to think it can happen. So he's honest.
"Probably. I hope so."
And as Jeff smiles back, Jensen's heart clenches. God he is cute.
**
Jensen walks in the office and sees that Jared is taking a paper off the bulletin board. He sniggers, knowing it is Jared's add to find a roommate on which Alona wrote "ASSHOLE" in big red letters.
Making a ball of the paper and throwing it away, Jared greets him.
"Good morning."
Gesturing to the waste basket, Jensen goes for the coffee machine.
"Don't bother Jared. I already know you are an asshole."
Thoughtful, Jared looks at him with narrowed eyes.
"Hey, you're always complaining your apartment's too small. Why don't you move in with me?"
The mere suggestion is ridiculous, as they aren't even close to being friends, barely speaking more than the strict minimum work asks for.
"You can't be serious."
"Why not? This would be a strictly financial arrangement. Cannot think it's because I want to get in your pants or anything."
"What a relief."
Pouting, Jared makes his pleading puppy dog look, the one that does ravages with almost everyone.
"Come on. Is that a no?"
Jensen loves his apartment, even if it's about the size of a postage stamp.
"Actually, it's a "thanks, but not if my life depended on it.""
He says as he goes for his office, passing in front of a smiling Jared.
**
Elbow deep in soap suds, the phone rings while he's making the dishes before going to bed. He's not expecting any call, thinks it's probably an error.
"Hello."
"Hey. You up for a game or two of pool?"
Jensen's heart thuds as he recognizes Jeff's warm voice and he almost drops the phone in the sink.
**
They play more than two games, but no one keeps scores. After a couple of tequilas, the accidental-on-purpose subtle brushing against each other as they circle the table becomes more frequent, but they keep the conversation friendly and denuded of innuendo. When all the lights are turned on and it's time to go, they just start walking down the street, not ready to let the night end just now. By habit Jensen goes toward his apartment and Jeff's steps fall in synch beside him. Once at his door, Jensen frets for a second.
"Care for a nightcap?"
Jeff nods and they go up, grab a six pack from the fridge and go sit on the roof on old lawn chairs, enjoying the nice summer night. It's easy, so easy, chatting and laughing while telling their college stories and other adventures. Jeff never says it in so many words, but Jensen gets the general idea that his relationship has problems, that they lost each other along the way and are still together because it's easier that way. The sun rises, red and vibrant and Jensen knows he's in trouble, hooked beyond reason. He wants more, hopes Jeff will make a clear sign that he's looking for more than friendship too. A silence but it's amicable, easy. Stretching, Jensen stifles a yawn.
"You think it's 7 yet?"
Jeff asks, all sprawled in his chair, legs on the little wall at the edge of the building. Jensen checks his watch.
"Almost, in ten. Somewhere you ought to be?"
Can't help thinking about the girlfriend with a ping of jealousy. Jeff shakes his head and smiles.
"Nah. But I usually watch Sponge Bob."
Jensen laughs and gets up, giving Jeff a hand. When he hauls him up, they are a tad too close for a beat or two before Jensen steps back.
"C'mon. I'm starving. And I do have the cartoon channel."
**
They sit on the bed in the blue light, eating Cocoa Puffs and laughing at the cartoons, reminiscing childhood favorites and engaging in very serious discussions about super heroes. Between two bites, Jensen stares for a second and he's called on it.
"What?"
The words tumble out, seems there is no filter in place at the moment.
"I was just thinking how good my apartment looks with you in it."
Jeff smiles, and while he leans towards him, Jensen's heart rate goes on overdrive. Finally, it is going to happen, this is for real. There is a hot hand on his shoulder, then fingers that caress his jaw lightly before the first soft contact of their lips that makes the bottom of Jensen's stomach drop at the perfection of it. They separate for a beat, unsure and hovering on the line, but dive again at the same time, seeking more of each other, lips parting and tongues meeting in soft caresses. It makes Jensen remember what a small miracle it is to like someone and have them like you back.
Careful not to spill its content, Jensen puts his cereal bowl on the nightstand without breaking the kiss. He then finds a way better use of his hands.
**
Walking towards the production office, Jensen is incredibly nervous. What now? He's not sure if it was a one night thing or if Jeff is interested to push this more. If he looks too eager, he's afraid to scare him off. Earlier on the phone, Chris offered his advice.
"Jenny, he's living with a woman."
He sighed, rolling his eyes.
"I told you, Chris, they're having problems. They're not engaged."
"Yet." Stern, trying to damper the hope, but contradicting himself on the next breath. "Nevertheless, he does sound like an interesting prospect, so here's what you do. Pretend she doesn't exist. Never mention her name. If he mentions her, you just nod politely, change the subject."
The idea of not knowing but not pushing the issue was not appealing.
"Why?"
"Because if you bring her up, he's gonna feel pushed and resentful. This way, it's like" Chris used a falsetto voice "I'm healthy, I'm happy. No pressure. Getting sex other places too." He laughed and added "It's gonna drive him nuts. You know the drill."
Groaning, Jensen finished fixing his coffee, eyeing around to be sure no one was listening.
"You know what I really need to know? What do I do right now when I see him in my staff meeting in five minutes?"
"That's easy. Pretend HE doesn't exist."
**
In the office, Jensen is relieved to see Jeff is not there yet. A bit more time to compose himself is good news. He goes to sit next to Jared who's reading the newspaper.
"Morning Jared."
He looks up and smiles but Jensen's eyes are draw to a large purple mark on his neck.
"What is on your neck?"
With a smirk, Jared turns the page of the International section.
"I bit myself shaving."
He's not even embarrassed, as if everyone shows up to work with the words largest hickey every day. Shaking his head, Jensen asks.
"Isn't that why god invented turtlenecks?"
Deadpan, Jared doesn't even lift his eyes from his reading.
"No. that's why God invented Kristen."
"You are so gross."
He's actually tempted between grinning and facepalming, when Jeff enters the room with a coffee and a notepad. He went to change at his place before coming in and looks as dashing as usual. He smiles a bit before sitting down on the other side of Jensen.
"Hey, Jared. Hi Jensen."
"Hey Jeff. Mornin'" Jensen says casually. Jeff innocently remarks.
"You okay? You look a little tired."
Before Jensen has the time to retort, Samantha comes in with her assistant following on her heels, juggling coffee and a bottle of water. She apologizes.
"Okay I am late, I know, I am sorry."
Everyone calls out.
"Morning."
"I locked myself out of the apartment. Keys, wallet, total nightmare. The only reason I am standing here right now is because of Jim, the nicest cab driver in the city of New York. Okay, now, who saw ABC's 4 a.m. newscast?"
Stretching, Jeff says what everyone thinks but doesn't dare to say.
"I think a lot of us missed that, Samantha."
"There's a big story on how more and more interactive with the audience a TV show and its host ought to be in 2007. Jeffrey, where are we with my personal blog?"
Jeff looks at his notes.
"The site should be up and running on Monday."
Samantha is passionate.
"No, not should be. Will be! And we got to make its content riveting. Remember, it is all about..." Everyone ends the sentence with her, "..the get."
She goes on.
"We cannot make a splash if we only get the gets that everybody's already gotten. I need the ungettable get, got it?"
Everybody nods and Jensen agrees out loud. That's what he's paid for, literally.
"Got it."
Samantha smiles for a second, but of course comes back with the one million dollar question.
"Good. Okay, where are we on Viggo?"
Flipping his notes, Jensen tries to think of a creative way to buy some more time.
"Uh, well, I spoke with huh, Henry, his son, who told me he's doing some research for a future part, so..."
From the corner of his eyes, Jensen sees that Jeff is writing down something but all of his attention needs to be on Samantha, still pushing the issue.
"And what did he say? That he might be interested? Did he say that he'd call back to discuss his availability?"
Jeff angles his pad towards him and Jensen reads: "Dinner?" and "Check one" clearly superfluous seeing the two check boxes below "yes" and "no". Jensen momentarily has flashback of middle school and stifles a grin, rubs the back of his neck while he reaches to Jeff's notepad and checks the "Yes" box. Samantha is still talking and Jensen snaps back to attention when he hears his name. He has no idea what the question was.
"Sorry?"
Samantha is mildly annoyed she has to repeat herself.
"I said what do you think your chances are of getting this guy?"
The smile comes, easy.
"I think they're good, Samantha. I think they're very good."
**
Spitting the mouthwash in the bathroom sink, Jensen eyes his reflection critically. Okay, so he's ready. Jeff is on his couch, waiting, and probably expecting more than a hand job this time. The question is: blowjob or more? He's bought cherry flavored lube but can't see himself tossing it casually and bending over with a sly remark. So he tucks it in the back of his pants, takes a deep breath and steps in his living room/kitchen/bedroom biting his lower lip. As he comes out, Jeff tosses away a magazine, looking a little guilty and color rises on Jensen cheeks when he realizes it's the QR magazine with the in-depth sexual preference survey. That he filled out directly on the page.
"Sorry. I had, huh... whatever. It's okay now."
He sits down next to Jeff, subtly taking the lube from his waistband to bury it between the cushions. There are almost blue sparks between them, a force that screams OMG, straddle him now and get the show on the road!. They sit still in awkward silence for a couple of seconds before lunging at each other, frantic and uncoordinated. Jensen climbs on Jeff's lap as they kiss hard and messy, more teeth than anything. Jeff tries to flip him down on the couch but they fall off, all the air coming out of Jensen in a "oooof".
From then on it's grunts and moans as they fight with their clothes to get them out of the way as fast and possible. All they want is more skin, more contact and it cannot happen soon enough. Hooking a leg around Jeff's, Jensen turns them over so he's on top again, hitting the coffee table hard in the process. He can't be bothered with button and pulls at Jeff's shirt, sending buttons flying everywhere. Jensen then heaves his own t-shit over his head, and starts to lick and nip at Jeff's broad chest, sucking on pebbled nipples as he manages to open Jeff's pants and yank down his boxers. Fabric out of the way, Jensen grips Jeff's cock and that makes him curse.
"Oh, fuck. Yeah. I just... can't get you out of my head Jen."
Grinning, Jensen locks eyes with Jeff and then licks him from base to tip, before taking the head of his cock in his mouth. He smells hot and musky, tastes even better and Jensen hums as he starts bobbing his head up and down, while Jeff tries to find some grip in his hair to hold on to.
"Jesus, that mouth... So hot. You're so hot. Don't stop. Please don't stop."
Jensen has no intention to stop at all, even if he's reduced to basically hump Jeff's knee to get a bit of friction. With the sounds Jeff is making and the erratic way his hips are pumping shallowly, he's visibly not going to last. It makes him hot all over to have this power to render Jeff mostly incoherent and non-stop moaning. Sucking harder, Jensen makes a quick work in opening his jeans and jerks himself hard and fast, feeling already on the edge. When Jeff loses it and shoots in his mouth, gripping his neck, Jensen comes so hard all over his hand he's left a bit dizzy.
Panting, he just can think with amazement that they didn't get to the part involving the lube yet. Awesome.
**
It's a gorgeous late afternoon and the sidewalks of Soho are busy. Every time they meet someone, Jensen feels Jeff's hand slide on his lower back as he steps behind, and it never fails to make him smile like an idiot.
"Tell me again what we're doing here, please."
The words are purred in Jensen's ear as they are momentarily stopped in their progression by a delivery truck unloading.
"We're coming up for air."
"Oh, right."
"Besides I owe you a shirt."
He loaned Jeff an old t-shirt to put under it, seeing it's now almost button free. T-shirt which is stretched across his chest in the most delicious way, and Jensen wonders for a moment why he had the stupid idea to take a break from fucking like rabbits. Looking down at himself, Jeff toys with the side of his shirt, assessing the damages.
"Mmmm. Yeah. You sort of ruined it."
There are a couple of clothes racks on the sidewalk clearance sale and Jensen starts looking through them. He spots a nice shirt.
"Grey?"
Looking over his shoulder, Jeff agrees.
"Yeah."
Putting it in front of Jeff, Jensen tilts his head to the side and makes an approving noise. It makes Jeff smile.
"You like this one?"
"Yeah. Suits you."
"Could be risky, given your impatience with buttons."
Grinning back, Jensen can totally imagine ripping this one off him too. Could become a ruining habit, or he'll have to learn how to use a needle and thread effectively. He shrugs.
"Well -"
A bit unexpectedly, since they are out in public after all, Jeff leans down to kiss him, slow and sweet. It makes something warm spread insides Jensen. Jeff takes the hanger and without distancing himself, he gives it to the sales lady who's been hovering close by the whole time.
"I love it. We'll take this one."
Jensen reaches for his wallet but Jeff gestures him off.
"Naw, got it..."
Rolling his eyes, Jensen takes out his money and gives it to the girl.
"Shut up. Let me buy you a shirt."
He surrenders with a soft smile and a squeeze of his arm.
"Thanks."
As the sale girl brings back his change, Jensen notices Jared walking towards them with a newspaper. He barely has time to take a step back from Jeff then Jared is there and smiling at them. Such a tall fucker should not be able to sneak up on people. Must be the freakish long legs' fault.
"Hey guys!"
Pocketing his money, Jensen goes for casual.
"Jared! Hey! Wow. We were - I mean, I just, uh - "
Well that's just awesome, Jared's amused smile is widening by the second. Without much more success, Jeff chimes in.
"He's helping me pick out a shirt."
Which is technically true. Jensen nods.
"Yeah."
Jared just raises his shoulders, as if it makes no difference to him what they do in their spare time. Also like he doesn't believe a word of it and can read right through them.
"Well, I didn't mean to intrude."
They overlap in their denial.
"Not at all. You're not."
"No, no, no. S'cool man."
"No."
There is an awkward couple of seconds until Jeff turns, grabs the bag with the shirt and almost runs for it.
"Listen, I gotta go to a thing. I gotta hit this - " He turns to Jensen who is almost facepalming at the embarrassment of it all. "Great running into you."
He nods.
"Okay. Huh. See you around."
"All right."
Jeff claps Jensen on the shoulder once, and scurries off. Blinking, Jensen curses inwardly that he's left alone to get out of this mess. If he can, that is, because he can see that Jared is totally seeing through their bad little act. It's pretty clear by the way he drags his next word like it has five syllables.
"Okay."
Rubbing the back of his head, Jensen tries once more, a bit too passionately.
"Yeah. What a coincidence. First I run into Jeffrey, and then we run into you. I didn't even know he lived around here, and then, boom! All of a sudden, there he is. Um, so, uh -"
Jared just nods, smiling, as Jensen digs himself a hole. Damnit. They were supposed to keep this, whatever it was between them, a secret for now. Crossing his arms in front of his chest, Jensen finally gives up on the pretending and spits it out.
"Wha- Okay. So I am sleeping with him. Jared, if you tell anyone at the office, so help me God -" He scrunches up his face, worried about Jared's reaction. Everyone at the studio knows he's gay, but Jeff... "What are you thinking?"
Instead of unwanted advice, Jared just shrugs.
"I'm thinking the same thing you are, Jensen. That you and Jeff will have a dashing commitment ceremony and live happily ever after with matching Volvos and chocolate labs." He turns to cross the street giving Jensen a little wave. "See you Monday."
The nerves of this guy! Jensen shouts to Jared's back.
"Did you have ANY friends growing up?"
Jared turns and smirks, then points to the corner of the street with his newspaper.
"Better hurry. I think he's waiting down the street."
**
In the following weeks, Jeff and Jensen steal time to make out any chance they've got. Lunch breaks turn into thrilling secret rendezvous and sometimes, when the urges get too strong, they find themselves touching or kissing in a hidden corner of the studio. But even if the physical side of their relationship is more than unbelievably hot and active, Jensen realizes he's cherishing just as much the quiet time when they are sprawled on the couch watching a game or eating a bite after they've been out to see a movie.
Just as Christian advised, Jensen never brings up the girlfriend even if every moment Jeff spends with her eats him inside. He's tempted to ask for a decision, but is afraid to break the spell. Those nights when he's alone and miserable, everything he looks at reminds him of how good he feels when they are together. It's worth it, he decides every single time, so he can wait a little bit more.
**
Sometimes after eleven o'clock on a Friday night, Jeff and Jensen are putting fresh sheets on Jensen's bed. Jensen reaches across his side of the bed to pull up the corner of the sheet and waits for Jeff to pull the other side. But Jeff is serious, watching him intently. When Jensen looks at him with a frown, wondering what is wrong, Jeff declares:
"I love you, Jensen."
Bam, just like that, out of nowhere. It's frankly surprising since Jeff is not exactly the type to vocalize his emotions. It makes Jensen's heart flutter though, because the fear of being only an experiment or a meaningless affair has been there all along. Without really knowing if it is true, even though in retrospect, of course, it was, Jensen answers in kind.
"I love you too."
Jeff smiles, and probably to compensate this totally embarrassing moment of girlish behavior, whacks him hard at the head with a pillow. It evidently leads to a wrestling match. That turns into something more.
**
If he's honest, 24 hours later at the diner Jensen is still stunned as he tells Chris all about the new developments in his life, between two bites of his panini.
"He just came right out and said it, after only six weeks."
Chris narrows his eyes. He's clearly skeptical.
"Really? And you were not blowing him at the time or anything?"
Snorting, Jensen raises his hands in the air.
"Not even touching."
Chewing on a fry, Chris nods.
"What about the girlfriend?"
"He's telling this weekend."
"Why didn't he tell her already?"
As always, Jensen feels the need to defend Jeff and it comes easy now, he firmly believes it's only a matter of time.
"He's in a complicated situation. Anyhow, if he were having second thoughts, I hardly think he would've asked me to live with him."
Chris looks shocked and Jensen smiles.
"He asked you to live with him? Whoa. What did you say?"
Shrugging as if it's nothing, he drops the bomb.
"I must've said yes or something to that effect because he started calling realtors, and I gave my landlord notice."
A whistle at that, that comes with a clap on the shoulder and a grin.
"Good for you man, good for you."
**
They see an out of price one bedroom with pigeons nesting in a window. One with a bathtub in the kitchen, and one that Jensen can't put his finger on what's wrong until he gets it: there are absolutely no counters at all in the kitchen. One night they walk into near perfection, with an honest to god sunken living room. Looking around the apartment with wide eyes, Jensen can totally imagine living with Jeff in this one. He's about to say just as much when he's suddenly backed up against the wall and Jeff is kissing him hard and deep. Jeff only steps back when the realtor comes back in the room and stutters, but Jensen's a bit hazed and has no idea what she was even talking about. Not that he minds being kissed stupid now and then.
"I didn't mean to intrude."
Jeff smiles sweetly and tugs Jensen along to continue the visit.
"No, s'fine."
The woman's heels clack on the hardwood floors and resonate in the empty apartment as she continues the visit.
"Didn't you want to see the patio? Come on out. Isn't it just wonderful? Wait until you see the view. It's just spectacular. Right this way."
They step out and she is not kidding, the view of the city is great.
"It's such a jewel box. I guess I'll leave you two alone to talk things over."
It's a bit risky to gush and look enthralled in front of someone aiming for a sale, but they barely wait until she's back inside.
"It's unbelievable."
"I know! Fuck."
They are both smiling like fools, and Jeff pulls on Jensen's hip until he's flush in front of him.
"It's amazing! I love you."
Says it again, just like the first time. On the top of a building, in the open air, for everyone to hear. One thing is for sure, Jensen's never been so happy.
**
It's the law when you're a happy gay male that you have to tell everything to your best friend in an exceedingly detailed fashion to rub it in. That's exactly what Jensen is doing when he sees Jeff walk towards his office, looking rumpled and tired the morning after "The Talk". He ends the conversation with Chris hurriedly.
"I gotta go. Fuck, he looks like he's been hit by a bus. I'll call you back."
Jeff knocks on the door frame and stands there, looking exhausted.
"I feel like I've been hit by a bus."
"You told her?"
Pulling a chair, Jeff sits down heavily, wipes his forehead and rubs his eyes. Every instinct in Jensen is screaming that there is trouble. He dares to ask.
"Was it bad?"
"Not like I thought. I mean, she -uh, didn't go hysterical or anything like that." He reaches back to swing the office door closed. "She just, uh, was kinda you know, eerily calm about the whole thing."
Then he cannot see what the problem is and why Jeff seems so thrown.
"Well, that's good, right?"
"Yeah, yeah. I just meant, you know, it wasn't what I expected is all."
"What'd she say about us?"
The floor suddenly seems very interesting to Jeff who taps his fingers on his thigh.
"She just, she just - I didn't tell her. Jen, I just didn't think it was necessary. I mean after three years, to hit her over the head that I'm seeing someone else and that on top it's another man, it just seemed harsh." He looks up. "I just told her that it was over. You know? And I think that's all she needs to know. Right?"
He agrees that it would have been a big blow to that girl's self esteem and confidence. But on the other hand, Jensen hates the feeling that he's still a dirty secret. At least Jeff broke up with her and that's what important, so Jensen nods.
"Sure. And she was okay with that?"
Jeff exhales loudly.
"Yeah. I mean, I guess. I don't know. It was so- it was just weird. I mean, she just kinda went cold on me. I mean, she's upset. She gotta be upset. She's- You know. She just didn't seem terribly upset, so-"
It seems to be a problem to Jeff that she didn't make a scene. Which, you know, is weird.
"Well, you're okay with it, right?"
He nods slowly. Jensen cannot help but think that there is something going terribly wrong. He composes a hopeful smile, tries to bring the conversation back to them.
"I mean, you're happy."
"Happy? I am so happy. I mean, this is what I wanted." The thing is that he doesn't look terribly happy but does try to smile. "I mean, there's nothing between us anymore, you know, and that's - that's what I was looking for, so I'm happy."
It's not tremendously reassuring but Jensen smiles back. It's going to be okay: Jeff just needs time to adjust to this new reality, that's all.
(click for part two)
Prompt: Someone like you, for abouttwoboys
Pairing: Jensen/JDM, various minor pairings with Jared including Jared/Sandy, Jensen/Jared.
Rating: NC-17
Words: almost 20 000 words overall
Beta: by my dear friend Sue ♥
Disclaimer: Not mine. I really lifted a lot more than I thought from the movie and the book it's from, "Animal Husbandry" by Laura Zigman. It just.... worked for me that way. Please don't sue!
Summary: The story about the one that got away and the one he never saw coming.
There is a faint buzzing in the audience as everyone waits for the end of the commercial break. Jensen knows that the next segment will have Samantha going for the kill with her current guest, the high point of today's show. It is a chance to score points with the network executives and prove that they deserve their new national syndication. The Samantha Ferris Show aims to take over ratings in the afternoon slot just before Oprah, nothing less.
The crowd animator riles the audience which brakes into applauses as they get back on air. Jensen walks to the edge of the set, curious to see if it will go as planned in the production meeting.
Samantha smiles at the camera, all charm and rugged sensuality in her form fitting black business suit.
"We're back with Former senator George J. Mitchell, who's actually conducting a vast investigation on steroid use in Major league baseball."
Jensen is pretty proud of having managed to book the senator for today. Barry Bonds is closing fast on Hank Aaron's home run record and the odor of scandal follows half a step behind. Everyone is on edge as if Mitchell has answers and will spill the beans before the publication of his report set for later in the year.
The goal of the show is to entertain but also to appeal to the common sense and criticism of the audience. Jensen's job is to supply a steady diet of raw meat to satisfy Samantha. She's demanding and requests guests who constitute a challenge: she loves ribbing them until they finally crack. Right now, she has found a way to make Mitchell admit that he has hard proof and testimonies about several big names.
The 'ohhhh' of the crowd makes Jensen grin. He flips his phone open and goes back to work.
"Hey Rick! It's Jensen! How are ya?"
"Jensen? Doing fine, man, thanks. Busy, busy busy!"
In short: get to the point.
"Did you hear? We've gone national!" He says, putting as much enthusiasm as he can in his voice.
"Really? Congratulations!"
"Thanks. Well it's a new format. We're just starting up, major exposure, and I think it's right up Rihanna's alley."
"She is about to go to NY to give a couple of shows."
He is thoughtful, a good sign.
"Surely Def Jam would appreciate the push and I'm lining up great company. Trust me, everyone wants on."
"It's noted, I'll run it by them. I'll get back to you soon."
It's good for a first approach and Jensen makes a mental note to call him again in two days if he hears nothing.
"Great! Don't wait too long though, it's filling up! Bye Rick!"
Closing his phone, Jensen goes next to Jared Padalecki, the show's writer and producer. Though they have worked together for six months and have offices right next to each other, Jensen knows little about Jared but that he is tall, charming, and according to office legend, a serial womanizer. Jared is looking at the set with a smirk, visibly satisfied, when Jensen whispers.
"Going as planned?"
Jared clamps a hand on the microphone part of his headset, looks at Jensen while making a thumb up.
"Hell yeah. Several big players agencies are on the phone freaking out and threatening to sue if we air any names!"
"Cool!"
"You book 'em, I cook 'em." Jared winks.
When the show ends, Jared and Jensen walk toward the office space. Jared immediately lights up a cigarette, ignoring as usual the non-smoking law. That's when Jensen's phone vibrate. It's Gabe.
"Yeah? Any news on Viggo?"
"Fuck Jen, I just can't get through! It's like I'm trying to get hold of Bin Laden. They tell me he's off in the woods and they can't get a hold of him? Geez."
Jensen sighs.
"Well keep trying man!"
"Yeah yeah."
Pocketing his phone, Jensen whines.
"Jesus, tracking down Viggo is going to kill me. There is absolutely no way to get through and Samantha won't let it go. She's fucking obsessed."
Jared waves dismissively and takes another drag.
"You'll never get through. He's a crazy fucker, if he doesn't want to be found, it can take weeks."
That's helpful! Jensen lets his voice drip with sarcasm.
"Thank you Jared. You always know what to say to motivate me. What would I do without you, I don't know."
Shaking his head, Jared sniggers.
"Well, you are losing your time over this. If you can't have Viggo, go for Exene."
"And who would that be?"
"Exene Cervenka, his ex-wife. They're still friends, as far as I've heard. She's an ex-punk princess, very interesting and who knows, maybe she'll let go a gem or two about Viggo in the process. Pretty sure Samantha would find her fascinating."
Seeing the new PA walking towards them, a short blonde with a cute smile, Jared digs in his front jean pocket and extends his big paw to her, a pair of good loops in his palm. He smiles at her, and casually remarks.
"Hey, Alona! You left these earrings in my bathroom."
He just ambles on, not even pausing and the poor girl stops in her tracks, blinking at her hand. Girl who set foot in the studio for the first time ever the day before, it has to be said. Must be a personal record for Jared at the office, although Jensen would not bet on it.
"You don't waste any time."
Jared only shrugs a bit.
"Cynic."
Rolling his eyes, Jensen grumbles.
"Slut."
**
In the little kitchenette, they come face to face with a tall man who gives them a bright dimpled smile. Jared shakes his hand, clapping him on the shoulder amicably.
"Hey Jeff!"
"Jared! Nice to see you!"
He then turns to smile at Jensen, who feels his heart thud. He is gorgeous.
"Hi, I'm Jeffrey Dean Morgan."
Still a bit awestruck, Jensen has to blink once before gathering his wit. He thinks he's supposed to recognize the name. No one he's booked though. He'd know.
"Huh, hi."
Grabbing a handful of sugar cubes, Jared dumps them in his coffee before helpfully pushing the conversation forward.
"Jeff's our new executive producer."
It all comes back in a flash, and Jensen almost hits himself on the forehead.
"Oh, right! Right! We've seen a sample of your work for ABC. I can't wait to hear your ideas for our show."
Jeff smiles widely. He is definitely very very handsome.
"Really? Thanks, I am sure we'll work great together."
As he says it, his eyes do a quick up and down assessing of Jensen, who feels a blush rising. If he is reading this right, the interest is mutual. Jensen looks toward Jared who has his eyebrows raised in amusement and makes a crude blowjob gesture behind Jeff's back. That guy is just unbelievable. Ignoring him, Jensen extends his hand.
"I'm Jensen Ackles."
Beautiful hands, too, he can't help but notice, and a handshake that maybe lasts a tad too long.
"Very pleased to meet you, Jensen. I heard that Amy Winehouse's people are giving you a hard time?"
Shaking his head, Jensen agrees.
"Yeah, they're afraid it's gonna turn into questioning about rehab and drug abuse."
"Which is, uh, right."
They exchange a grin.
"Of course."
Jeff winks.
"So guarantee Samantha won't bring it up, and we'll plant somebody in the audience to initiate it during Q&A."
Impressive. And sneaky. There is only one thing to say.
"I think you came to the right show, Jeffrey Dean Morgan."
**
Both feet on Chris' living room table, Jensen takes a sip of his beer as his best friend tunes his guitar for the fifth time in the last half hour. He's flipping half heartedly through the latest issue of the men's magazine Chris works at as an editor.
"So he's cute."
Chris' affirmation jars Jensen out of his daydream. He approves.
"Very."
Tilting his head, Chris makes a humming noise.
"Care to elaborate?"
That's easy because Jensen has been observing very, very closely every chance he got in the last week. Enough to have counted the number of times Jeff passes in front of his office each day (on a good day, about six).
"Manly. Warm brown eyes, wide shoulders, awesome ass that even a straight man would want to take a bit of. Usually dresses casual with jeans plus a shirt and tie."
A snort escapes Chris.
"Oh, that guy again."
Jensen flips him off and sighs, peeling off his beer label. Sensing the catch, Chris prompts him.
"D'you think he bats for the home team?"
Groaning, Jensen lets his head fall against the couch.
"My gut feeling is that he does, but I learned he has a girlfriend."
"Why are we having this conversation?"
Straightening up, Jensen puts his empty bottle on the table and rubs his hands on his thighs.
"You know what? You're right. He's too much work. And even if he was up to it, with my luck, he'd probably end up marrying her anyway."
Chris winks.
"Wow. There's the cynical bitch I know and love."
Saying it firmly, as if it would just push the want away, Jensen makes a gesture in the air.
"So that's it. Case closed. Leaving this one alone."
**
Of course that resolution gets thrown aside at the first occasion. Meaning that when Jeff appears in Jensen's office doorway and leans on the frame, all charm and sex appeal, and asks if he wants to go grab a bite? Jensen just smiles widely and agrees. Fervently.
They are eating hot dogs in Battery Park when Jensen takes a deep breath and asks:
"So, what else do I need to know about you? Apart from the fact that you drown all the food I've seen you eat in Ketchup, most probably to the chagrin of your girlfriend?"
He makes the word girlfriend sound like a question, and Jeff nods with a smile while he looks away.
"Sammy. Yeah. She hates it."
It stings, but Jensen feels a deep masochist need to know more. To know everything.
"Whom you've been dating now for…"
"Three years."
Jensen almost chokes on his bite.
"Three -" He clears his throat and tries to hide his dismay the best he can. "Excuse me. Three years. Wow. That's, um-- huh. More serious than I ... would've guessed, you know, off the cuff."
He shrugs, hoping that he looks totally nonplussed and surely makes a very bad job of it. Jeff seems to be miles away.
"I guess it is." He suddenly turns all of his attention to Jensen. "You think you ever get to the moment where you just now it's the right one? That's it. That's the person you're meant to be with forever."
Sighing, Jensen raises his eyebrows and smiles softly. He does wish for an epiphany like that, needs to think it can happen. So he's honest.
"Probably. I hope so."
And as Jeff smiles back, Jensen's heart clenches. God he is cute.
**
Jensen walks in the office and sees that Jared is taking a paper off the bulletin board. He sniggers, knowing it is Jared's add to find a roommate on which Alona wrote "ASSHOLE" in big red letters.
Making a ball of the paper and throwing it away, Jared greets him.
"Good morning."
Gesturing to the waste basket, Jensen goes for the coffee machine.
"Don't bother Jared. I already know you are an asshole."
Thoughtful, Jared looks at him with narrowed eyes.
"Hey, you're always complaining your apartment's too small. Why don't you move in with me?"
The mere suggestion is ridiculous, as they aren't even close to being friends, barely speaking more than the strict minimum work asks for.
"You can't be serious."
"Why not? This would be a strictly financial arrangement. Cannot think it's because I want to get in your pants or anything."
"What a relief."
Pouting, Jared makes his pleading puppy dog look, the one that does ravages with almost everyone.
"Come on. Is that a no?"
Jensen loves his apartment, even if it's about the size of a postage stamp.
"Actually, it's a "thanks, but not if my life depended on it.""
He says as he goes for his office, passing in front of a smiling Jared.
**
Elbow deep in soap suds, the phone rings while he's making the dishes before going to bed. He's not expecting any call, thinks it's probably an error.
"Hello."
"Hey. You up for a game or two of pool?"
Jensen's heart thuds as he recognizes Jeff's warm voice and he almost drops the phone in the sink.
**
They play more than two games, but no one keeps scores. After a couple of tequilas, the accidental-on-purpose subtle brushing against each other as they circle the table becomes more frequent, but they keep the conversation friendly and denuded of innuendo. When all the lights are turned on and it's time to go, they just start walking down the street, not ready to let the night end just now. By habit Jensen goes toward his apartment and Jeff's steps fall in synch beside him. Once at his door, Jensen frets for a second.
"Care for a nightcap?"
Jeff nods and they go up, grab a six pack from the fridge and go sit on the roof on old lawn chairs, enjoying the nice summer night. It's easy, so easy, chatting and laughing while telling their college stories and other adventures. Jeff never says it in so many words, but Jensen gets the general idea that his relationship has problems, that they lost each other along the way and are still together because it's easier that way. The sun rises, red and vibrant and Jensen knows he's in trouble, hooked beyond reason. He wants more, hopes Jeff will make a clear sign that he's looking for more than friendship too. A silence but it's amicable, easy. Stretching, Jensen stifles a yawn.
"You think it's 7 yet?"
Jeff asks, all sprawled in his chair, legs on the little wall at the edge of the building. Jensen checks his watch.
"Almost, in ten. Somewhere you ought to be?"
Can't help thinking about the girlfriend with a ping of jealousy. Jeff shakes his head and smiles.
"Nah. But I usually watch Sponge Bob."
Jensen laughs and gets up, giving Jeff a hand. When he hauls him up, they are a tad too close for a beat or two before Jensen steps back.
"C'mon. I'm starving. And I do have the cartoon channel."
**
They sit on the bed in the blue light, eating Cocoa Puffs and laughing at the cartoons, reminiscing childhood favorites and engaging in very serious discussions about super heroes. Between two bites, Jensen stares for a second and he's called on it.
"What?"
The words tumble out, seems there is no filter in place at the moment.
"I was just thinking how good my apartment looks with you in it."
Jeff smiles, and while he leans towards him, Jensen's heart rate goes on overdrive. Finally, it is going to happen, this is for real. There is a hot hand on his shoulder, then fingers that caress his jaw lightly before the first soft contact of their lips that makes the bottom of Jensen's stomach drop at the perfection of it. They separate for a beat, unsure and hovering on the line, but dive again at the same time, seeking more of each other, lips parting and tongues meeting in soft caresses. It makes Jensen remember what a small miracle it is to like someone and have them like you back.
Careful not to spill its content, Jensen puts his cereal bowl on the nightstand without breaking the kiss. He then finds a way better use of his hands.
**
Walking towards the production office, Jensen is incredibly nervous. What now? He's not sure if it was a one night thing or if Jeff is interested to push this more. If he looks too eager, he's afraid to scare him off. Earlier on the phone, Chris offered his advice.
"Jenny, he's living with a woman."
He sighed, rolling his eyes.
"I told you, Chris, they're having problems. They're not engaged."
"Yet." Stern, trying to damper the hope, but contradicting himself on the next breath. "Nevertheless, he does sound like an interesting prospect, so here's what you do. Pretend she doesn't exist. Never mention her name. If he mentions her, you just nod politely, change the subject."
The idea of not knowing but not pushing the issue was not appealing.
"Why?"
"Because if you bring her up, he's gonna feel pushed and resentful. This way, it's like" Chris used a falsetto voice "I'm healthy, I'm happy. No pressure. Getting sex other places too." He laughed and added "It's gonna drive him nuts. You know the drill."
Groaning, Jensen finished fixing his coffee, eyeing around to be sure no one was listening.
"You know what I really need to know? What do I do right now when I see him in my staff meeting in five minutes?"
"That's easy. Pretend HE doesn't exist."
**
In the office, Jensen is relieved to see Jeff is not there yet. A bit more time to compose himself is good news. He goes to sit next to Jared who's reading the newspaper.
"Morning Jared."
He looks up and smiles but Jensen's eyes are draw to a large purple mark on his neck.
"What is on your neck?"
With a smirk, Jared turns the page of the International section.
"I bit myself shaving."
He's not even embarrassed, as if everyone shows up to work with the words largest hickey every day. Shaking his head, Jensen asks.
"Isn't that why god invented turtlenecks?"
Deadpan, Jared doesn't even lift his eyes from his reading.
"No. that's why God invented Kristen."
"You are so gross."
He's actually tempted between grinning and facepalming, when Jeff enters the room with a coffee and a notepad. He went to change at his place before coming in and looks as dashing as usual. He smiles a bit before sitting down on the other side of Jensen.
"Hey, Jared. Hi Jensen."
"Hey Jeff. Mornin'" Jensen says casually. Jeff innocently remarks.
"You okay? You look a little tired."
Before Jensen has the time to retort, Samantha comes in with her assistant following on her heels, juggling coffee and a bottle of water. She apologizes.
"Okay I am late, I know, I am sorry."
Everyone calls out.
"Morning."
"I locked myself out of the apartment. Keys, wallet, total nightmare. The only reason I am standing here right now is because of Jim, the nicest cab driver in the city of New York. Okay, now, who saw ABC's 4 a.m. newscast?"
Stretching, Jeff says what everyone thinks but doesn't dare to say.
"I think a lot of us missed that, Samantha."
"There's a big story on how more and more interactive with the audience a TV show and its host ought to be in 2007. Jeffrey, where are we with my personal blog?"
Jeff looks at his notes.
"The site should be up and running on Monday."
Samantha is passionate.
"No, not should be. Will be! And we got to make its content riveting. Remember, it is all about..." Everyone ends the sentence with her, "..the get."
She goes on.
"We cannot make a splash if we only get the gets that everybody's already gotten. I need the ungettable get, got it?"
Everybody nods and Jensen agrees out loud. That's what he's paid for, literally.
"Got it."
Samantha smiles for a second, but of course comes back with the one million dollar question.
"Good. Okay, where are we on Viggo?"
Flipping his notes, Jensen tries to think of a creative way to buy some more time.
"Uh, well, I spoke with huh, Henry, his son, who told me he's doing some research for a future part, so..."
From the corner of his eyes, Jensen sees that Jeff is writing down something but all of his attention needs to be on Samantha, still pushing the issue.
"And what did he say? That he might be interested? Did he say that he'd call back to discuss his availability?"
Jeff angles his pad towards him and Jensen reads: "Dinner?" and "Check one" clearly superfluous seeing the two check boxes below "yes" and "no". Jensen momentarily has flashback of middle school and stifles a grin, rubs the back of his neck while he reaches to Jeff's notepad and checks the "Yes" box. Samantha is still talking and Jensen snaps back to attention when he hears his name. He has no idea what the question was.
"Sorry?"
Samantha is mildly annoyed she has to repeat herself.
"I said what do you think your chances are of getting this guy?"
The smile comes, easy.
"I think they're good, Samantha. I think they're very good."
**
Spitting the mouthwash in the bathroom sink, Jensen eyes his reflection critically. Okay, so he's ready. Jeff is on his couch, waiting, and probably expecting more than a hand job this time. The question is: blowjob or more? He's bought cherry flavored lube but can't see himself tossing it casually and bending over with a sly remark. So he tucks it in the back of his pants, takes a deep breath and steps in his living room/kitchen/bedroom biting his lower lip. As he comes out, Jeff tosses away a magazine, looking a little guilty and color rises on Jensen cheeks when he realizes it's the QR magazine with the in-depth sexual preference survey. That he filled out directly on the page.
"Sorry. I had, huh... whatever. It's okay now."
He sits down next to Jeff, subtly taking the lube from his waistband to bury it between the cushions. There are almost blue sparks between them, a force that screams OMG, straddle him now and get the show on the road!. They sit still in awkward silence for a couple of seconds before lunging at each other, frantic and uncoordinated. Jensen climbs on Jeff's lap as they kiss hard and messy, more teeth than anything. Jeff tries to flip him down on the couch but they fall off, all the air coming out of Jensen in a "oooof".
From then on it's grunts and moans as they fight with their clothes to get them out of the way as fast and possible. All they want is more skin, more contact and it cannot happen soon enough. Hooking a leg around Jeff's, Jensen turns them over so he's on top again, hitting the coffee table hard in the process. He can't be bothered with button and pulls at Jeff's shirt, sending buttons flying everywhere. Jensen then heaves his own t-shit over his head, and starts to lick and nip at Jeff's broad chest, sucking on pebbled nipples as he manages to open Jeff's pants and yank down his boxers. Fabric out of the way, Jensen grips Jeff's cock and that makes him curse.
"Oh, fuck. Yeah. I just... can't get you out of my head Jen."
Grinning, Jensen locks eyes with Jeff and then licks him from base to tip, before taking the head of his cock in his mouth. He smells hot and musky, tastes even better and Jensen hums as he starts bobbing his head up and down, while Jeff tries to find some grip in his hair to hold on to.
"Jesus, that mouth... So hot. You're so hot. Don't stop. Please don't stop."
Jensen has no intention to stop at all, even if he's reduced to basically hump Jeff's knee to get a bit of friction. With the sounds Jeff is making and the erratic way his hips are pumping shallowly, he's visibly not going to last. It makes him hot all over to have this power to render Jeff mostly incoherent and non-stop moaning. Sucking harder, Jensen makes a quick work in opening his jeans and jerks himself hard and fast, feeling already on the edge. When Jeff loses it and shoots in his mouth, gripping his neck, Jensen comes so hard all over his hand he's left a bit dizzy.
Panting, he just can think with amazement that they didn't get to the part involving the lube yet. Awesome.
**
It's a gorgeous late afternoon and the sidewalks of Soho are busy. Every time they meet someone, Jensen feels Jeff's hand slide on his lower back as he steps behind, and it never fails to make him smile like an idiot.
"Tell me again what we're doing here, please."
The words are purred in Jensen's ear as they are momentarily stopped in their progression by a delivery truck unloading.
"We're coming up for air."
"Oh, right."
"Besides I owe you a shirt."
He loaned Jeff an old t-shirt to put under it, seeing it's now almost button free. T-shirt which is stretched across his chest in the most delicious way, and Jensen wonders for a moment why he had the stupid idea to take a break from fucking like rabbits. Looking down at himself, Jeff toys with the side of his shirt, assessing the damages.
"Mmmm. Yeah. You sort of ruined it."
There are a couple of clothes racks on the sidewalk clearance sale and Jensen starts looking through them. He spots a nice shirt.
"Grey?"
Looking over his shoulder, Jeff agrees.
"Yeah."
Putting it in front of Jeff, Jensen tilts his head to the side and makes an approving noise. It makes Jeff smile.
"You like this one?"
"Yeah. Suits you."
"Could be risky, given your impatience with buttons."
Grinning back, Jensen can totally imagine ripping this one off him too. Could become a ruining habit, or he'll have to learn how to use a needle and thread effectively. He shrugs.
"Well -"
A bit unexpectedly, since they are out in public after all, Jeff leans down to kiss him, slow and sweet. It makes something warm spread insides Jensen. Jeff takes the hanger and without distancing himself, he gives it to the sales lady who's been hovering close by the whole time.
"I love it. We'll take this one."
Jensen reaches for his wallet but Jeff gestures him off.
"Naw, got it..."
Rolling his eyes, Jensen takes out his money and gives it to the girl.
"Shut up. Let me buy you a shirt."
He surrenders with a soft smile and a squeeze of his arm.
"Thanks."
As the sale girl brings back his change, Jensen notices Jared walking towards them with a newspaper. He barely has time to take a step back from Jeff then Jared is there and smiling at them. Such a tall fucker should not be able to sneak up on people. Must be the freakish long legs' fault.
"Hey guys!"
Pocketing his money, Jensen goes for casual.
"Jared! Hey! Wow. We were - I mean, I just, uh - "
Well that's just awesome, Jared's amused smile is widening by the second. Without much more success, Jeff chimes in.
"He's helping me pick out a shirt."
Which is technically true. Jensen nods.
"Yeah."
Jared just raises his shoulders, as if it makes no difference to him what they do in their spare time. Also like he doesn't believe a word of it and can read right through them.
"Well, I didn't mean to intrude."
They overlap in their denial.
"Not at all. You're not."
"No, no, no. S'cool man."
"No."
There is an awkward couple of seconds until Jeff turns, grabs the bag with the shirt and almost runs for it.
"Listen, I gotta go to a thing. I gotta hit this - " He turns to Jensen who is almost facepalming at the embarrassment of it all. "Great running into you."
He nods.
"Okay. Huh. See you around."
"All right."
Jeff claps Jensen on the shoulder once, and scurries off. Blinking, Jensen curses inwardly that he's left alone to get out of this mess. If he can, that is, because he can see that Jared is totally seeing through their bad little act. It's pretty clear by the way he drags his next word like it has five syllables.
"Okay."
Rubbing the back of his head, Jensen tries once more, a bit too passionately.
"Yeah. What a coincidence. First I run into Jeffrey, and then we run into you. I didn't even know he lived around here, and then, boom! All of a sudden, there he is. Um, so, uh -"
Jared just nods, smiling, as Jensen digs himself a hole. Damnit. They were supposed to keep this, whatever it was between them, a secret for now. Crossing his arms in front of his chest, Jensen finally gives up on the pretending and spits it out.
"Wha- Okay. So I am sleeping with him. Jared, if you tell anyone at the office, so help me God -" He scrunches up his face, worried about Jared's reaction. Everyone at the studio knows he's gay, but Jeff... "What are you thinking?"
Instead of unwanted advice, Jared just shrugs.
"I'm thinking the same thing you are, Jensen. That you and Jeff will have a dashing commitment ceremony and live happily ever after with matching Volvos and chocolate labs." He turns to cross the street giving Jensen a little wave. "See you Monday."
The nerves of this guy! Jensen shouts to Jared's back.
"Did you have ANY friends growing up?"
Jared turns and smirks, then points to the corner of the street with his newspaper.
"Better hurry. I think he's waiting down the street."
**
In the following weeks, Jeff and Jensen steal time to make out any chance they've got. Lunch breaks turn into thrilling secret rendezvous and sometimes, when the urges get too strong, they find themselves touching or kissing in a hidden corner of the studio. But even if the physical side of their relationship is more than unbelievably hot and active, Jensen realizes he's cherishing just as much the quiet time when they are sprawled on the couch watching a game or eating a bite after they've been out to see a movie.
Just as Christian advised, Jensen never brings up the girlfriend even if every moment Jeff spends with her eats him inside. He's tempted to ask for a decision, but is afraid to break the spell. Those nights when he's alone and miserable, everything he looks at reminds him of how good he feels when they are together. It's worth it, he decides every single time, so he can wait a little bit more.
**
Sometimes after eleven o'clock on a Friday night, Jeff and Jensen are putting fresh sheets on Jensen's bed. Jensen reaches across his side of the bed to pull up the corner of the sheet and waits for Jeff to pull the other side. But Jeff is serious, watching him intently. When Jensen looks at him with a frown, wondering what is wrong, Jeff declares:
"I love you, Jensen."
Bam, just like that, out of nowhere. It's frankly surprising since Jeff is not exactly the type to vocalize his emotions. It makes Jensen's heart flutter though, because the fear of being only an experiment or a meaningless affair has been there all along. Without really knowing if it is true, even though in retrospect, of course, it was, Jensen answers in kind.
"I love you too."
Jeff smiles, and probably to compensate this totally embarrassing moment of girlish behavior, whacks him hard at the head with a pillow. It evidently leads to a wrestling match. That turns into something more.
**
If he's honest, 24 hours later at the diner Jensen is still stunned as he tells Chris all about the new developments in his life, between two bites of his panini.
"He just came right out and said it, after only six weeks."
Chris narrows his eyes. He's clearly skeptical.
"Really? And you were not blowing him at the time or anything?"
Snorting, Jensen raises his hands in the air.
"Not even touching."
Chewing on a fry, Chris nods.
"What about the girlfriend?"
"He's telling this weekend."
"Why didn't he tell her already?"
As always, Jensen feels the need to defend Jeff and it comes easy now, he firmly believes it's only a matter of time.
"He's in a complicated situation. Anyhow, if he were having second thoughts, I hardly think he would've asked me to live with him."
Chris looks shocked and Jensen smiles.
"He asked you to live with him? Whoa. What did you say?"
Shrugging as if it's nothing, he drops the bomb.
"I must've said yes or something to that effect because he started calling realtors, and I gave my landlord notice."
A whistle at that, that comes with a clap on the shoulder and a grin.
"Good for you man, good for you."
**
They see an out of price one bedroom with pigeons nesting in a window. One with a bathtub in the kitchen, and one that Jensen can't put his finger on what's wrong until he gets it: there are absolutely no counters at all in the kitchen. One night they walk into near perfection, with an honest to god sunken living room. Looking around the apartment with wide eyes, Jensen can totally imagine living with Jeff in this one. He's about to say just as much when he's suddenly backed up against the wall and Jeff is kissing him hard and deep. Jeff only steps back when the realtor comes back in the room and stutters, but Jensen's a bit hazed and has no idea what she was even talking about. Not that he minds being kissed stupid now and then.
"I didn't mean to intrude."
Jeff smiles sweetly and tugs Jensen along to continue the visit.
"No, s'fine."
The woman's heels clack on the hardwood floors and resonate in the empty apartment as she continues the visit.
"Didn't you want to see the patio? Come on out. Isn't it just wonderful? Wait until you see the view. It's just spectacular. Right this way."
They step out and she is not kidding, the view of the city is great.
"It's such a jewel box. I guess I'll leave you two alone to talk things over."
It's a bit risky to gush and look enthralled in front of someone aiming for a sale, but they barely wait until she's back inside.
"It's unbelievable."
"I know! Fuck."
They are both smiling like fools, and Jeff pulls on Jensen's hip until he's flush in front of him.
"It's amazing! I love you."
Says it again, just like the first time. On the top of a building, in the open air, for everyone to hear. One thing is for sure, Jensen's never been so happy.
**
It's the law when you're a happy gay male that you have to tell everything to your best friend in an exceedingly detailed fashion to rub it in. That's exactly what Jensen is doing when he sees Jeff walk towards his office, looking rumpled and tired the morning after "The Talk". He ends the conversation with Chris hurriedly.
"I gotta go. Fuck, he looks like he's been hit by a bus. I'll call you back."
Jeff knocks on the door frame and stands there, looking exhausted.
"I feel like I've been hit by a bus."
"You told her?"
Pulling a chair, Jeff sits down heavily, wipes his forehead and rubs his eyes. Every instinct in Jensen is screaming that there is trouble. He dares to ask.
"Was it bad?"
"Not like I thought. I mean, she -uh, didn't go hysterical or anything like that." He reaches back to swing the office door closed. "She just, uh, was kinda you know, eerily calm about the whole thing."
Then he cannot see what the problem is and why Jeff seems so thrown.
"Well, that's good, right?"
"Yeah, yeah. I just meant, you know, it wasn't what I expected is all."
"What'd she say about us?"
The floor suddenly seems very interesting to Jeff who taps his fingers on his thigh.
"She just, she just - I didn't tell her. Jen, I just didn't think it was necessary. I mean after three years, to hit her over the head that I'm seeing someone else and that on top it's another man, it just seemed harsh." He looks up. "I just told her that it was over. You know? And I think that's all she needs to know. Right?"
He agrees that it would have been a big blow to that girl's self esteem and confidence. But on the other hand, Jensen hates the feeling that he's still a dirty secret. At least Jeff broke up with her and that's what important, so Jensen nods.
"Sure. And she was okay with that?"
Jeff exhales loudly.
"Yeah. I mean, I guess. I don't know. It was so- it was just weird. I mean, she just kinda went cold on me. I mean, she's upset. She gotta be upset. She's- You know. She just didn't seem terribly upset, so-"
It seems to be a problem to Jeff that she didn't make a scene. Which, you know, is weird.
"Well, you're okay with it, right?"
He nods slowly. Jensen cannot help but think that there is something going terribly wrong. He composes a hopeful smile, tries to bring the conversation back to them.
"I mean, you're happy."
"Happy? I am so happy. I mean, this is what I wanted." The thing is that he doesn't look terribly happy but does try to smile. "I mean, there's nothing between us anymore, you know, and that's - that's what I was looking for, so I'm happy."
It's not tremendously reassuring but Jensen smiles back. It's going to be okay: Jeff just needs time to adjust to this new reality, that's all.
(click for part two)