Amen (Nick/Ellis R)
Title: Amen
Rating: PG13 or R (Depending how you take the language)
Pairing: Nick/Ellis
Words: 2,307 (according to Microsoft Word)
Warnings: Language,Mild Violence, Character Death Not Betaed, Huge amount of Angst
Summary: They both kept looking down at Nick’s lower body. Nick knew he shouldn't look, so he only glanced down for a second. That was enough to make him very nauseous. “Oh shit,” he breathed.
The sound of crunching bone was fairly loud. Just the sound alone was enough but to add insult to injury Nick could have sworn he heard the thing chuckling. The fucking ass zombie was laughing at him as it ripped him apart. Now that was just cruel and unusual. If only he had a pipe bomb right at that moment he’d shove it down the fucker’s face. But of course he didn’t and even if he did he didn’t have the strength, he was just numb all over. He couldn’t stop the slight shaking, not out of fear but out of cold. When had it got so damn cold in the south? All sound became muffled as Nick wished he cloud close his eyes. Then again he had never gotten a clean look at a hunter in kill mode before. For a moment he could almost think that this thing was just a mugger looking for drug money. For some reason that idea was easier to take, like the world wasn’t infested by the horde and this was just another accident of regular life.
There was a muffled boom sound as the hunter’s head exploded. Nick flinched only slightly as pieces of skull, brain matter, and other various bits rained down on his face. He could taste the bitter metallic taste on his tongue and he involuntarily swallowed pieces of infected. Damn it, he hoped that this wasn’t going to mean that he was infected now as well like eating tainted sushi. Suddenly his torso was being lifted into the air and Nick was being dragged across the muddy ground. Still unable to close his eyes he was forced to watch the horde as the rushed towards him and whatever was dragging him along. They were like a tidal wave of death approaching ready to crash on him and pull him under. But the rush suddenly disappeared as the safe door closed and the image disappeared.
Of course this was about the point that Nick’s vision began to blur and everything became moving blobs. He could hear talking, or was it shouting? He couldn’t be sure it was so muffled, kind of like the sobbing of a witch. Finally the world stopped moving and Nick felt the cold of concrete against his back. Something warm held his cheek, his head turned towards it. The fog dissipated and Nick was glad it was Ellis’s bright shining face that came into view.
“Nick? Can ya’ talk buddy?” the kid asked worriedly, his voice clearing away the shit in the conman’s ears.
Through the pain Nick put on a small smirk. “I saved your ass again farm boy.”
Ellis grinned that pretty little white boy grin of his. Someone could have called it innocent if it weren’t for the blood spatters on the kids face. “You did Nick,” he said almost cheerfully. “I don’t know what it is about those damn infected shits but they keep gunnin’ for me!”
“It’s because you look to damn innocent,” Nick muttered shaking his head. “You’re like little freakin’ little red ridding hood out there!”
“Are ya callin’ me a girl Nick?”
“So what if I am, you going to try to fight the man that just saved your ass?”
Ellis actually smiled more and laughed. “Well maybe not right now but some day Nick, one of these days…”
Nick laughed. “Your welcome to try farm boy but don’t go thinking that I’ll go easy on you!” Deep inside Nick was strangely proud of the kid. Of course Nick was impressed that Ellis had managed to make it this far but in some ways Nick always knew he would. The kid was strong after all, plus the kid had Nick looking out for him. Of course then the gambler happened to look over Ellis’s shoulder and could see the real shit they were in. Coach was a little more stoic but Rochelle was a big give away. She kept looking at him with a pitiful look, trying to smile sadly as she looked away. They both kept looking down at Nick’s lower body. Nick knew he shouldn’t look, so he only glanced down for a second. That was enough to make him very nauseous.“Oh shit,” he breathed.
Ellis caught on instantly. “Hey it’s okay,” the farm boy said rather forcefully. “You’re going to be okay Nick.”
Rochelle laid a hand on Ellis’s shoulder. “Ellis, sweetheart…”
The kid shook his head hard, showing that anything Ro had to say was going to be denied with great conviction. “It’s just a scratch…”
Nick raised an eyebrow, daring the kid to continue.
“Okay so it’s not a scratch but you’re alive and we’ve got a med pack so I’ll just bandage you...”
“Overalls,” Nick said looking at the younger man, “stop.”
“I got a med pack right here,” the boy answered pulling the med kit from off his shoulder. He began to pull out the bandages. “You’re goin’ to be fine Nick, I promise.”
Nick could see Rochelle and Coach looking as if they wanted to do something but didn’t have the heart. Of course it was the asshole that had to do all the shitty stuff. Nick sighed deeply.“Ellis,” Nick said again trying to get Ellis’s attention but the kid didn’t look up. Nick hissed as the kid brushed over the gaping wound. “dickhead, just stop!”
Ellis still didn’t look up. He looked something like those mindless drones outside, focused on one thing.
Nick didn’t want to get angry but the situation had just hit boiling. He couldn’t take it any more and he grabbed Ellis’s face with both hands and forced the younger man to look him in the eye. “I said stop!” he growled.
Ellis just looked at him with those big innocent doe eyes. “We need to stop the bleedin’ Nick,” he said as if Nick was the stupid one.
Nick sighed, feeling the rage wanting to bubble up and over flow like the blood from his body. “What are you trying to do farm boy?” he asked, keeping his green eyes focused on blue.
“I’m tryin’ to save your life Nick.”
Nick couldn’t tell if Ellis really was that stupid or just didn’t want to face reality.
“Ellis,” he said, still keeping steady eye contact, “don’t waste the bandages, it’s not worth it.”
“Of course it is Nick,” Ellis said with a small smile.
Nick couldn’t take it any more. “Ellis!” the gambling man cried gripping the boy’s face with more force. “The leg is gone! My freakin leg is gone! I’m a fucking one legged gimp! No amount of bandages is going to make up for the fact that I have no fucking leg!”
Ellis frowned deeply. Nick could see the understanding in those blue eyes but not the acceptance. “I need to stop the bleedin’,” he repeated.
“And then what farm boy? Then what are you going to do, grow me a new leg?! You gonna give me one of yours? I’m going to need another leg from somewhere because even a dumb southern fuck like you has to know that it takes two legs to run and to avoid zombies who want to rip what’s left of me apart!” It was all a bit cruel and Nick could see the anger in the face of the other two. It wasn’t like they were willing to say it. They just left it up to the asshole, to Nick the dick who says what everyone wants to say but has the heart in which to stop themselves from saying it. Nick kept his focus on the face he held in his hands, trying to force Ellis into reality. “What are you planning to do Ellis? Carry me like one of those ‘back humpers’?” Nick thought back to the chuckling hunter and laughed bitterly. He closed his eyes and his hands fall away from Ellis’s face.
“So ya just goin’ give up?”
Nick could hear the tears in the kid’s voice even before he opened his eyes. Leave it to Ellis to be the one to break his heart with those baby blue eyes.
“You said you weren’t gonna die out here,” Ellis said, voice wavering as he focused on Nick’s face. The tears were beginning to dribble just a little.
“Lady Luck dealt me a shit hand,” Nick answered. “She likes to drop the atomic bomb while the shit hits the fan. There’s nothing anyone can really do about it.” He could see more tears fall and he tried the trade mark smirk. “I really am surprised I lasted this long,” he said forcing the chuckle from his mouth. “I was betting on dying way before now.” Maybe that would have been better, then maybe he wouldn’t have had any hope of actually living nor would he have become so attached to these people.
Ellis said nothing but Nick could see that young lip quivering. Nick didn’t even flinch as Ellis buried his quivering lips as well as the rest of that pretty face into his neck. Ellis’s hands held on to his jacket tightly, knuckles nearly turning as white as the fabric use to be. “We were so close, Nick,” the kid whispered. “It’s not fair.”
“Yeah, it’s not,” Nick answered, rather gently. “But who better to die then the guy who insults Gibbs right? Maybe that’s what finally got me, who knew god was a Gibbs fan to.”
Ellis didn’t answer.
Nick could feel the skin of his neck becoming damp and he was feeling an emotion he hadn’t dealt with in a while, guilt. He actually had guilt for dying and for making Ellis cry. It so would have been easier to die earlier on. Nick looked over at Coach, seeing the man’s tough demeanor breaking with each tear. “I’m not really a praying man,” he said, guilt creeping into his speech. “I don’t know if I believe there is a God anymore but do you think God can forgive an asshole?”
“God is always forgiving.” Coach swallowed and smiled weakly. It wasn’t very convincing.
Nick nodded anyway. He couldn’t blame the big guy for having doubts that he himself had always had. What Nick couldn’t believe was that he was accepting this so easily. Maybe it was the blood loss. Ellis sniffled and Nick took the kid’s face into his hands once again, this time gently without the use of any force. Ellis’s eyes wouldn’t meet his but Nick smiled, brushing away tears with his thumbs. “Ellis, would you look at me for a minute. Just listen to a dying man’s wishes please.”
Ellis raised his eyes, blurred by the tears.
“I probably could be telling you to look after Rochelle and Coach, but hell I think they should be taking care of you,” Nick chuckled. “Without me you’re going to be in lot of trouble the first minute you step out of this safe room.” Nick’s face softened further as Ellis choked on a sob. “But that’s a lie. I know you’ll be fine because you can’t die. Your not going to let this get you down, you can’t let me the guy everybody hates make you loose your spirit.”
“I don’t hate you, Nick,” Ellis said quickly. “We don’t hate you!” He hiccupped again, voice fading. “I could never hate you brother…”
Tears pricked Nick’s eyes. He felt light headed and nauseous, from emotion and blood loss. He brought Ellis’s face in and their first and last kiss was as sweet as heaven and as close as Nick was ever going to get. At least lady luck couldn’t rob him of that. Nick leaned his forehead against Ellis’s, smiling a moment of silence. “I got one more favor to ask of you Ellis,” he said finally. He pulled the pistol from Ellis’s belt loop and put it in the kid’s hand.
Ellis shook his head. “No, no I won’t.”
“It’s either that or I bleed out, and I’d rather it be quick.” Nick sighed as he smiled. “If you could make it a headshot that would be great, just in case…you know…” He didn’t want to even think about it. For all his luck he’d become a boomer. He watched as Ellis shook his head. Nick brushed back tears from the Ellis’s face. “I want you to be the one to do it Ellis. Not because I want you to suffer but because you are the one I trust the most. I trust you to be strong and I trust you to do this right.” Tears trickled down Nick’s face as his smile wavered slightly. “I love you Ellis and I trust you.” It was the hardest thing he ever had to say and he could see the final connection in those baby blue eyes. Nick could barely register Rochelle and Coach kneeling down next to him. All he could focus on was the crying eyes of the young man in front of him.
“Dear lord,” Coach began, “please take our friend…our brother, Nick, into your arms. Let him experience your beautiful heaven and let him be at peace after all of this fighting. Let him be at peace and let us carry him within our hearts until we may join him.” The big man’s voice wavered through the tears. “Amen.”
“Amen,” Rochelle echoed.
“Amen,” breathed Nick.
Ellis said nothing.
Nick really hoped that this didn’t kill the kid’s spirit. It was the last thing in the world he wanted to do. He tried to look at Ellis but the truckers hat was pulled down shielding his face. It was disappointing but Nick felt the cool metal of the pistol pressed against his forehead. He smiled and closed his eyes. “Amen,” he breathed again as he felt Ellis’s fingers thread through his own.
End Notes: Okay, my first story in this fandom and I'm already killing off my favorite characters. After all the pain that Torchwood and Doctor Who has caused me you would think I'd know better. But of course a fanfiction writer can never escape angst as it is everywhere. The real thing I fear is that my Nick is too soft. Millionminds, who is fabulous, told me that it's probably okay because people get emotional when they are dying but I just don't know if I have the power to make Nick a complete dick (That's my nickname for him btw, Nick the loveable dickXD). All in all I don't hate it, I actually really love the end. Sorry to leave you hanging but when the end fits it just fits ya know?
Rating: PG13 or R (Depending how you take the language)
Pairing: Nick/Ellis
Words: 2,307 (according to Microsoft Word)
Warnings: Language,Mild Violence, Character Death Not Betaed, Huge amount of Angst
Summary: They both kept looking down at Nick’s lower body. Nick knew he shouldn't look, so he only glanced down for a second. That was enough to make him very nauseous. “Oh shit,” he breathed.
The sound of crunching bone was fairly loud. Just the sound alone was enough but to add insult to injury Nick could have sworn he heard the thing chuckling. The fucking ass zombie was laughing at him as it ripped him apart. Now that was just cruel and unusual. If only he had a pipe bomb right at that moment he’d shove it down the fucker’s face. But of course he didn’t and even if he did he didn’t have the strength, he was just numb all over. He couldn’t stop the slight shaking, not out of fear but out of cold. When had it got so damn cold in the south? All sound became muffled as Nick wished he cloud close his eyes. Then again he had never gotten a clean look at a hunter in kill mode before. For a moment he could almost think that this thing was just a mugger looking for drug money. For some reason that idea was easier to take, like the world wasn’t infested by the horde and this was just another accident of regular life.
There was a muffled boom sound as the hunter’s head exploded. Nick flinched only slightly as pieces of skull, brain matter, and other various bits rained down on his face. He could taste the bitter metallic taste on his tongue and he involuntarily swallowed pieces of infected. Damn it, he hoped that this wasn’t going to mean that he was infected now as well like eating tainted sushi. Suddenly his torso was being lifted into the air and Nick was being dragged across the muddy ground. Still unable to close his eyes he was forced to watch the horde as the rushed towards him and whatever was dragging him along. They were like a tidal wave of death approaching ready to crash on him and pull him under. But the rush suddenly disappeared as the safe door closed and the image disappeared.
Of course this was about the point that Nick’s vision began to blur and everything became moving blobs. He could hear talking, or was it shouting? He couldn’t be sure it was so muffled, kind of like the sobbing of a witch. Finally the world stopped moving and Nick felt the cold of concrete against his back. Something warm held his cheek, his head turned towards it. The fog dissipated and Nick was glad it was Ellis’s bright shining face that came into view.
“Nick? Can ya’ talk buddy?” the kid asked worriedly, his voice clearing away the shit in the conman’s ears.
Through the pain Nick put on a small smirk. “I saved your ass again farm boy.”
Ellis grinned that pretty little white boy grin of his. Someone could have called it innocent if it weren’t for the blood spatters on the kids face. “You did Nick,” he said almost cheerfully. “I don’t know what it is about those damn infected shits but they keep gunnin’ for me!”
“It’s because you look to damn innocent,” Nick muttered shaking his head. “You’re like little freakin’ little red ridding hood out there!”
“Are ya callin’ me a girl Nick?”
“So what if I am, you going to try to fight the man that just saved your ass?”
Ellis actually smiled more and laughed. “Well maybe not right now but some day Nick, one of these days…”
Nick laughed. “Your welcome to try farm boy but don’t go thinking that I’ll go easy on you!” Deep inside Nick was strangely proud of the kid. Of course Nick was impressed that Ellis had managed to make it this far but in some ways Nick always knew he would. The kid was strong after all, plus the kid had Nick looking out for him. Of course then the gambler happened to look over Ellis’s shoulder and could see the real shit they were in. Coach was a little more stoic but Rochelle was a big give away. She kept looking at him with a pitiful look, trying to smile sadly as she looked away. They both kept looking down at Nick’s lower body. Nick knew he shouldn’t look, so he only glanced down for a second. That was enough to make him very nauseous.“Oh shit,” he breathed.
Ellis caught on instantly. “Hey it’s okay,” the farm boy said rather forcefully. “You’re going to be okay Nick.”
Rochelle laid a hand on Ellis’s shoulder. “Ellis, sweetheart…”
The kid shook his head hard, showing that anything Ro had to say was going to be denied with great conviction. “It’s just a scratch…”
Nick raised an eyebrow, daring the kid to continue.
“Okay so it’s not a scratch but you’re alive and we’ve got a med pack so I’ll just bandage you...”
“Overalls,” Nick said looking at the younger man, “stop.”
“I got a med pack right here,” the boy answered pulling the med kit from off his shoulder. He began to pull out the bandages. “You’re goin’ to be fine Nick, I promise.”
Nick could see Rochelle and Coach looking as if they wanted to do something but didn’t have the heart. Of course it was the asshole that had to do all the shitty stuff. Nick sighed deeply.“Ellis,” Nick said again trying to get Ellis’s attention but the kid didn’t look up. Nick hissed as the kid brushed over the gaping wound. “dickhead, just stop!”
Ellis still didn’t look up. He looked something like those mindless drones outside, focused on one thing.
Nick didn’t want to get angry but the situation had just hit boiling. He couldn’t take it any more and he grabbed Ellis’s face with both hands and forced the younger man to look him in the eye. “I said stop!” he growled.
Ellis just looked at him with those big innocent doe eyes. “We need to stop the bleedin’ Nick,” he said as if Nick was the stupid one.
Nick sighed, feeling the rage wanting to bubble up and over flow like the blood from his body. “What are you trying to do farm boy?” he asked, keeping his green eyes focused on blue.
“I’m tryin’ to save your life Nick.”
Nick couldn’t tell if Ellis really was that stupid or just didn’t want to face reality.
“Ellis,” he said, still keeping steady eye contact, “don’t waste the bandages, it’s not worth it.”
“Of course it is Nick,” Ellis said with a small smile.
Nick couldn’t take it any more. “Ellis!” the gambling man cried gripping the boy’s face with more force. “The leg is gone! My freakin leg is gone! I’m a fucking one legged gimp! No amount of bandages is going to make up for the fact that I have no fucking leg!”
Ellis frowned deeply. Nick could see the understanding in those blue eyes but not the acceptance. “I need to stop the bleedin’,” he repeated.
“And then what farm boy? Then what are you going to do, grow me a new leg?! You gonna give me one of yours? I’m going to need another leg from somewhere because even a dumb southern fuck like you has to know that it takes two legs to run and to avoid zombies who want to rip what’s left of me apart!” It was all a bit cruel and Nick could see the anger in the face of the other two. It wasn’t like they were willing to say it. They just left it up to the asshole, to Nick the dick who says what everyone wants to say but has the heart in which to stop themselves from saying it. Nick kept his focus on the face he held in his hands, trying to force Ellis into reality. “What are you planning to do Ellis? Carry me like one of those ‘back humpers’?” Nick thought back to the chuckling hunter and laughed bitterly. He closed his eyes and his hands fall away from Ellis’s face.
“So ya just goin’ give up?”
Nick could hear the tears in the kid’s voice even before he opened his eyes. Leave it to Ellis to be the one to break his heart with those baby blue eyes.
“You said you weren’t gonna die out here,” Ellis said, voice wavering as he focused on Nick’s face. The tears were beginning to dribble just a little.
“Lady Luck dealt me a shit hand,” Nick answered. “She likes to drop the atomic bomb while the shit hits the fan. There’s nothing anyone can really do about it.” He could see more tears fall and he tried the trade mark smirk. “I really am surprised I lasted this long,” he said forcing the chuckle from his mouth. “I was betting on dying way before now.” Maybe that would have been better, then maybe he wouldn’t have had any hope of actually living nor would he have become so attached to these people.
Ellis said nothing but Nick could see that young lip quivering. Nick didn’t even flinch as Ellis buried his quivering lips as well as the rest of that pretty face into his neck. Ellis’s hands held on to his jacket tightly, knuckles nearly turning as white as the fabric use to be. “We were so close, Nick,” the kid whispered. “It’s not fair.”
“Yeah, it’s not,” Nick answered, rather gently. “But who better to die then the guy who insults Gibbs right? Maybe that’s what finally got me, who knew god was a Gibbs fan to.”
Ellis didn’t answer.
Nick could feel the skin of his neck becoming damp and he was feeling an emotion he hadn’t dealt with in a while, guilt. He actually had guilt for dying and for making Ellis cry. It so would have been easier to die earlier on. Nick looked over at Coach, seeing the man’s tough demeanor breaking with each tear. “I’m not really a praying man,” he said, guilt creeping into his speech. “I don’t know if I believe there is a God anymore but do you think God can forgive an asshole?”
“God is always forgiving.” Coach swallowed and smiled weakly. It wasn’t very convincing.
Nick nodded anyway. He couldn’t blame the big guy for having doubts that he himself had always had. What Nick couldn’t believe was that he was accepting this so easily. Maybe it was the blood loss. Ellis sniffled and Nick took the kid’s face into his hands once again, this time gently without the use of any force. Ellis’s eyes wouldn’t meet his but Nick smiled, brushing away tears with his thumbs. “Ellis, would you look at me for a minute. Just listen to a dying man’s wishes please.”
Ellis raised his eyes, blurred by the tears.
“I probably could be telling you to look after Rochelle and Coach, but hell I think they should be taking care of you,” Nick chuckled. “Without me you’re going to be in lot of trouble the first minute you step out of this safe room.” Nick’s face softened further as Ellis choked on a sob. “But that’s a lie. I know you’ll be fine because you can’t die. Your not going to let this get you down, you can’t let me the guy everybody hates make you loose your spirit.”
“I don’t hate you, Nick,” Ellis said quickly. “We don’t hate you!” He hiccupped again, voice fading. “I could never hate you brother…”
Tears pricked Nick’s eyes. He felt light headed and nauseous, from emotion and blood loss. He brought Ellis’s face in and their first and last kiss was as sweet as heaven and as close as Nick was ever going to get. At least lady luck couldn’t rob him of that. Nick leaned his forehead against Ellis’s, smiling a moment of silence. “I got one more favor to ask of you Ellis,” he said finally. He pulled the pistol from Ellis’s belt loop and put it in the kid’s hand.
Ellis shook his head. “No, no I won’t.”
“It’s either that or I bleed out, and I’d rather it be quick.” Nick sighed as he smiled. “If you could make it a headshot that would be great, just in case…you know…” He didn’t want to even think about it. For all his luck he’d become a boomer. He watched as Ellis shook his head. Nick brushed back tears from the Ellis’s face. “I want you to be the one to do it Ellis. Not because I want you to suffer but because you are the one I trust the most. I trust you to be strong and I trust you to do this right.” Tears trickled down Nick’s face as his smile wavered slightly. “I love you Ellis and I trust you.” It was the hardest thing he ever had to say and he could see the final connection in those baby blue eyes. Nick could barely register Rochelle and Coach kneeling down next to him. All he could focus on was the crying eyes of the young man in front of him.
“Dear lord,” Coach began, “please take our friend…our brother, Nick, into your arms. Let him experience your beautiful heaven and let him be at peace after all of this fighting. Let him be at peace and let us carry him within our hearts until we may join him.” The big man’s voice wavered through the tears. “Amen.”
“Amen,” Rochelle echoed.
“Amen,” breathed Nick.
Ellis said nothing.
Nick really hoped that this didn’t kill the kid’s spirit. It was the last thing in the world he wanted to do. He tried to look at Ellis but the truckers hat was pulled down shielding his face. It was disappointing but Nick felt the cool metal of the pistol pressed against his forehead. He smiled and closed his eyes. “Amen,” he breathed again as he felt Ellis’s fingers thread through his own.
End Notes: Okay, my first story in this fandom and I'm already killing off my favorite characters. After all the pain that Torchwood and Doctor Who has caused me you would think I'd know better. But of course a fanfiction writer can never escape angst as it is everywhere. The real thing I fear is that my Nick is too soft. Millionminds, who is fabulous, told me that it's probably okay because people get emotional when they are dying but I just don't know if I have the power to make Nick a complete dick (That's my nickname for him btw, Nick the loveable dickXD). All in all I don't hate it, I actually really love the end. Sorry to leave you hanging but when the end fits it just fits ya know?