(no subject)
. . . Another essay?! Half state of the catgirl, half progression.
At three years and a month, Kizna has an interesting emotional growth on what little experience she has.
Where a baby has parents and people to depend on, Kizna started out on her own. There was no one waiting for her and no one ever came. What's more - She had to work from a really jilted position. Kizna was an amnesiac, so she didn't really have anything to depend on and was set apart from everyone else too. Life has always been her figuring everything out on her own through a set of inexperienced eyes. Kizna has a fierce sense of independence that she isn't really aware of from this. Before anyone else, she depends on herself.
And Kizna can depend on herself well. She has an excellent coping system where she lets herself cry or yell as she needs to. She doesn't hold back her feelings from herself and spends a lot of time examining herself. Kizna is her own greatest mystery which means she's always puzzling herself over to an extent. Her ineptness and inexperience is known to her. She will never try to hide the fact that she's a few steps behind everyone else, but she expects for people to step back and help her forward. It's what she's used to.
The environment of G.O.A. was so incredibly good for Kizna when she was starting out. Everyone walks in not knowing what's going on and they all get pushed to their limits. It builds an innate sense of trust and camaraderie, so she knows when she's wearing her uniform that there are a few hundred other girls in the same uniform that know what's up. Yes, there are going to be fights and people will not always get along, but Kizna is raised on the concept of acknowledging differences and pushing through. You can hate someone, but you have to be able to trust that they have your back if you're going to fight to your fullest to protect everyone. Now, Kizna wasn't involved in direct combat, but she was raised as support for that. She's still taking the same journey as her partner too.
Camp is what jumbles her up. It's so different that the comparison between what she's known and where she's at now is impossible. There is a huge separation between her and everyone else. The fact that she is an inexperienced amnesiac becomes pronounced in so many ways. She can't understand even the people she wants most to and has to deal with having to worry over other people, because she can't know what's going on, and can't help or just accept it. Kizna is discovering walls between her and others for the first time. It frustrates her to no end. So, she can be as close as she wants to someone and still know that she's not inside at all. It pushes her to do the same in kind. Kizna is used to being able to lean on others, but has to pull back and keep it to herself now. People don't want to be burdened or can't understand how she operates with others, so she has to adapt.
Basically, Kizna is mirroring what she's seeing which is putting walls up and keeping people out. It's not something she likes, but she's finding more and more reason to do so. Now, she has to take her time, so right now she's just sort of playing defensively hoping no one will touch her wall in the right spot to make it crumble. Ironically enough, it's only strengthening her bond with herself as her number one support. So, given enough time. . . Yeah, she will be in so many ways self-sufficient emotionally.
Questionsss?
At three years and a month, Kizna has an interesting emotional growth on what little experience she has.
Where a baby has parents and people to depend on, Kizna started out on her own. There was no one waiting for her and no one ever came. What's more - She had to work from a really jilted position. Kizna was an amnesiac, so she didn't really have anything to depend on and was set apart from everyone else too. Life has always been her figuring everything out on her own through a set of inexperienced eyes. Kizna has a fierce sense of independence that she isn't really aware of from this. Before anyone else, she depends on herself.
And Kizna can depend on herself well. She has an excellent coping system where she lets herself cry or yell as she needs to. She doesn't hold back her feelings from herself and spends a lot of time examining herself. Kizna is her own greatest mystery which means she's always puzzling herself over to an extent. Her ineptness and inexperience is known to her. She will never try to hide the fact that she's a few steps behind everyone else, but she expects for people to step back and help her forward. It's what she's used to.
The environment of G.O.A. was so incredibly good for Kizna when she was starting out. Everyone walks in not knowing what's going on and they all get pushed to their limits. It builds an innate sense of trust and camaraderie, so she knows when she's wearing her uniform that there are a few hundred other girls in the same uniform that know what's up. Yes, there are going to be fights and people will not always get along, but Kizna is raised on the concept of acknowledging differences and pushing through. You can hate someone, but you have to be able to trust that they have your back if you're going to fight to your fullest to protect everyone. Now, Kizna wasn't involved in direct combat, but she was raised as support for that. She's still taking the same journey as her partner too.
Camp is what jumbles her up. It's so different that the comparison between what she's known and where she's at now is impossible. There is a huge separation between her and everyone else. The fact that she is an inexperienced amnesiac becomes pronounced in so many ways. She can't understand even the people she wants most to and has to deal with having to worry over other people, because she can't know what's going on, and can't help or just accept it. Kizna is discovering walls between her and others for the first time. It frustrates her to no end. So, she can be as close as she wants to someone and still know that she's not inside at all. It pushes her to do the same in kind. Kizna is used to being able to lean on others, but has to pull back and keep it to herself now. People don't want to be burdened or can't understand how she operates with others, so she has to adapt.
Basically, Kizna is mirroring what she's seeing which is putting walls up and keeping people out. It's not something she likes, but she's finding more and more reason to do so. Now, she has to take her time, so right now she's just sort of playing defensively hoping no one will touch her wall in the right spot to make it crumble. Ironically enough, it's only strengthening her bond with herself as her number one support. So, given enough time. . . Yeah, she will be in so many ways self-sufficient emotionally.
Questionsss?