Mother*%#$@!
Well I had a huge entry all written out and it got dropped.
I can feel my depression moving silently in the shadows of my mind stalking me. Moving just out of sight all around me. I feel like my resistance is wearing out and my rage has reappeared just beneath the surface. I've started looking at people around me like targets again. First thought has become what is their most vulnerable point of attack, what are my escapes, what am I thinking thinking this things again. I am having to mentally contain my anger at myself and at others. I catch myself grinding my teeth and curling my fingers again. It scares me that it's their lurking inside of me again and it scares me even more that I almost want to welcome it. My anger always protected me and pushed me to work harder. Not sure if this is just all ramblings or if it actually has meaning or not.
It might be work since it's been such a pain in the ass recently.
Might be my brother who I would do anything for has grown up and sorta turned into a flake and is unreliable
Might be that I can't seem to communicate with the ones I love
Might be that I'm losing my fucking mind again.
Oh well
I'll continue to walk my road
I can feel my depression moving silently in the shadows of my mind stalking me. Moving just out of sight all around me. I feel like my resistance is wearing out and my rage has reappeared just beneath the surface. I've started looking at people around me like targets again. First thought has become what is their most vulnerable point of attack, what are my escapes, what am I thinking thinking this things again. I am having to mentally contain my anger at myself and at others. I catch myself grinding my teeth and curling my fingers again. It scares me that it's their lurking inside of me again and it scares me even more that I almost want to welcome it. My anger always protected me and pushed me to work harder. Not sure if this is just all ramblings or if it actually has meaning or not.
It might be work since it's been such a pain in the ass recently.
Might be my brother who I would do anything for has grown up and sorta turned into a flake and is unreliable
Might be that I can't seem to communicate with the ones I love
Might be that I'm losing my fucking mind again.
Oh well
I'll continue to walk my road