Sometimes your just lost....
Brett was my friend. I will miss him like a brother for my friends are my family.
It was very hard to be with everyone at not only the viewing and the funeral itself but also the wake. I wanted to pay my respects and remember Brett with those who loved him. It was difficult because I didn't know him as long as the rest of the crew/tribe/gaggle. I felt a bit like a poser but it was important to me to be there because he was my friend.
I liked Brett the instant I met him. I remember every detail about when I met him like it was yesterday.
Freddy Kruger christmas sweater and a big silly sarcastic grin looking out of the Spencer's store at Rick and I while he was taking someones money. That image is burned into my mind's eye. That is Brett to me. I think he found me amusing on occasion or at least worth a small smile although I'm sure he was thinking what the hell kind of music is this when he was at my house for a party.
He surprised me on Christmas by bringing me a present of Jack Daniels. It meant alot to me because he and I had only talked and hung out a few times. I'll never drink Jack again with out smiling at the memory of Brett.
I went to a sorta wake thing with Danielle and was welcomed with open arms by both Justin and Ron who I expected to be mad that I was there. I was surprised by them both at their thanks and welcome. I was very wrong about them both. I listened to other peoples opinions instead of getting to know them and made judgments during a party while drinking. All of these things I like to think I don't do or at least not normally but I did in this case. I can say I was wrong and glad to find out that I was. It was good to be with others that cared about Brett. I wanted to help those there but I know that only time can really help. So I just swallowed my Jack (dedicated to Brett) did my best to be there where I could.
The viewing was difficult because everyone was so broken up and having a hard time hanging in there. I wanted to help everyone but again nothing that I can say or do that will really help other than to remember that picture in my head of Brett. The person in that room that day was not Brett to me. Brett will always have that sarcastic grin and will always make me smile. I made some comments that I thought some people should have been there but then it occurred to me. Who am I to say that. Maybe they couldn't handle it yet. Maybe there grief was that severe. Maybe they had to work and had no choice. It was wrong of me.
The funeral was tough. I watched them close the coffin and I thought it was the worst thing to do to a room full of people who loved the person they just closed the lid on. It just could have been handled more delicately. The service went on and I listened to each person who got up and said their things. Catie's description of Brett was moving and right on. I feel for her and wish I could do something for her and would at the call, anything she needed, but it's difficult to relay that and not sound..... I don't know stupid, lame, something. It would be sincere I just don't want it to come across as sympathetic or lame. I just want to help anyway I can.
I fumed at the way some of the speakers attempted to subtly attack the crew who was Brett's family. They remember Brett one way and we remember him another way. Why can't we just say that we loved the man and cared for him. But alas it was not to be.
We did not go to the burial. It was a tough decision but I felt very sick and the medicine was wearing off and I'm sure that the emotional state I was in was not helping me feel any better.
I hope Catie and Brett's family find a way to deal and to move on.
I hope to be there for my friends if they need me.
I hope to one day be as good a guy as Brett was.
(slam shot of Jack....) to you Brett
It was very hard to be with everyone at not only the viewing and the funeral itself but also the wake. I wanted to pay my respects and remember Brett with those who loved him. It was difficult because I didn't know him as long as the rest of the crew/tribe/gaggle. I felt a bit like a poser but it was important to me to be there because he was my friend.
I liked Brett the instant I met him. I remember every detail about when I met him like it was yesterday.
Freddy Kruger christmas sweater and a big silly sarcastic grin looking out of the Spencer's store at Rick and I while he was taking someones money. That image is burned into my mind's eye. That is Brett to me. I think he found me amusing on occasion or at least worth a small smile although I'm sure he was thinking what the hell kind of music is this when he was at my house for a party.
He surprised me on Christmas by bringing me a present of Jack Daniels. It meant alot to me because he and I had only talked and hung out a few times. I'll never drink Jack again with out smiling at the memory of Brett.
I went to a sorta wake thing with Danielle and was welcomed with open arms by both Justin and Ron who I expected to be mad that I was there. I was surprised by them both at their thanks and welcome. I was very wrong about them both. I listened to other peoples opinions instead of getting to know them and made judgments during a party while drinking. All of these things I like to think I don't do or at least not normally but I did in this case. I can say I was wrong and glad to find out that I was. It was good to be with others that cared about Brett. I wanted to help those there but I know that only time can really help. So I just swallowed my Jack (dedicated to Brett) did my best to be there where I could.
The viewing was difficult because everyone was so broken up and having a hard time hanging in there. I wanted to help everyone but again nothing that I can say or do that will really help other than to remember that picture in my head of Brett. The person in that room that day was not Brett to me. Brett will always have that sarcastic grin and will always make me smile. I made some comments that I thought some people should have been there but then it occurred to me. Who am I to say that. Maybe they couldn't handle it yet. Maybe there grief was that severe. Maybe they had to work and had no choice. It was wrong of me.
The funeral was tough. I watched them close the coffin and I thought it was the worst thing to do to a room full of people who loved the person they just closed the lid on. It just could have been handled more delicately. The service went on and I listened to each person who got up and said their things. Catie's description of Brett was moving and right on. I feel for her and wish I could do something for her and would at the call, anything she needed, but it's difficult to relay that and not sound..... I don't know stupid, lame, something. It would be sincere I just don't want it to come across as sympathetic or lame. I just want to help anyway I can.
I fumed at the way some of the speakers attempted to subtly attack the crew who was Brett's family. They remember Brett one way and we remember him another way. Why can't we just say that we loved the man and cared for him. But alas it was not to be.
We did not go to the burial. It was a tough decision but I felt very sick and the medicine was wearing off and I'm sure that the emotional state I was in was not helping me feel any better.
I hope Catie and Brett's family find a way to deal and to move on.
I hope to be there for my friends if they need me.
I hope to one day be as good a guy as Brett was.
(slam shot of Jack....) to you Brett