After thinking it threw.
Since I have nothing better to do I was thinkin, something that i think/say a lot is.. "is love just a four letter word" and ive gotten a lot of peoples coments on that. And every time i see a movie like The Notebook or The First daughter, or How to lose a guy in 10 days, or The 10 things i hate about you ((many more)) i say that only happens in the movies and that will never happen for me, that happens to other people not me..and it never will. K funk yells at me and says that i need to stop and that it will, and i realized tonite.. it will. im only 17 years old. and i always think o i need a boy, well i dont, and im having fun hanging out with all my guy friends and they all care about me, obvously more than all the guys i date cos they al seem to leave, even the ones that you think are "the one" nope they alll suck, so i have to say that my standards have gone up like A LOT, in one night lol.. i expect a lot and i think thats y i always got let down, well they obvously werent for me, cos if you let me down before you will do it again, and i cant do that, I dont regret any thing that i have done, NOTHING. and i think that all the stupid guys i have dated have helped me realize alla this, I havent been in love yet, i seriously thought that i was, more than anything, i thought i knew.. and wen i find that "foot pop" love, ill look back and ill think, wow, was i wrong. While i was thinkin alla this i thought well wen will i be happy with just what i have, cos wen im dating someone im always looking for something better.. I cant fall in love untill i can stand on my own two feet and say, im ready, well im not, im not ready to be comitted, im not ready to have to do the whole y isnt he calling me thing, and the introducing him to mom thing, and the whole do my friends like him thing..not again...not so soon, i cant even say that i honestly even "like" any one right now, Mouse the other day goes you HAVE to have a crush on somebody, nope, i mean i would date a few of the guys i chill with, but im cool just bein friends with them, and i dont really think about dating them.. I dont think about dating anyone, im not ready, there is soooo much going on right now that i cant even take it lol. it's the last spring break of high school. Im going to the bahamas in like 5 days. after we go back to school have 6 weeks left. We graduate. I turn 18, get a new "real" job, go to college, and move out. R u kidding, wow, i never thought that i would get here, EVER! lol. and we are, and im torn with emotions, i dont know what to think n e more, there will proly be a lot of these kind of LJ entys untill grad lol. oh i was also thinkin, i do want kids, sam came in with cameron tonite, o ya i want a baby, now, and i know taht is sooo bad, i cant have kids for like a long time you know cos i have plans but OMG i want a baby, sooooo bad, i felt like i was gonna cry, i have noo clue why lol i think im PMSive, lol. but ya i want a kid.. Wow. Im gonna miss ppl so much, people from publix too, after i leave. itll be hard for me. i dont know ne more, i think i might keep like 1 day at the big P just for old tome sake. lol. idk i need to move on with muh life tho, start a new one, me wrking at the hospotal, 10 bucks and hour, hells ya. well im out LAYte