In Joy And Sorrow - Chuck/Blair - 1/?

[gothicyuna]

Title: In Joy And Sorrow
Pairing: Chuck/Blair (mentions of Eva)
Summary: Set after the last season finale. Chuck and Blair are both in Paris and bump into each other. Is their love story really over?
Rating: nc-17
Disclaimer: I don’t own Gossip Girl nor Chuck and Blair.



Shocked.
That was the only adjective she could think of regarding her state of mind at the moment.

He bumped or better - her taxi almost hit him, two days before. He didn't look at her until the driver rang the clacson. Their eyes met, and it was weird. It seemed like they haven't met for ages, centuries. More, it seemed like they didn't even know who the other was.

He looked so numb, and so did she. She didn't expect to see him there, in Paris. He thought he would have lived his life in New York banging prostitutes for the rest of his life, now that she didn't want him anymore, and she would have met him at least till September.

Of course things never went the way she expected.

But he was there, handsome and elegant like always, carrying a cane.

That was the thing she kept thinking of on the ride back to Cyrus and Eleanor's house.

What did happen to him? He was... limping.

Did Dan Humprey beat him up after that bad accident back in May causing some bad injury to his leg? She thought Humprey wasn't that type of guy that would settle with Chuck after the punch he gave to him. One was enough.

She shook her head while she walked into a crowded street with a lot of bags on her arms, not caring much about what people would have think. She decided that she should buy something that day for no reason.

She was walking quietly when she felt the need to drink something. She found an open shop and got in. She smelled the air around her, and it tasted like strawberries. Weird odor for a water and wine shop. She looked around, and there was no one there.

“Bonjour?” she said, looking annoyed.

She felt some footsteps behind her, then a voice. “Excusez-moi, J'étais...” The person who was talking stopped when she turned to face him.

Her mouth fell open. She tightened her grip on her bags, ready to leave without saying anything, but she felt like she couldn't find the strength to do it. Her eyes fell on his cane, still there like days before. She was starting to feel uncomfortable about the whole thing, but she didn't want to talk to him, curious or not to find out.

She decided she needed to leave after a minute they both staring at each other without saying a word. She started to walk fast despite the bags, but she couldn't be that faster like she hoped, because he blocked her, gripping his hand on her arm.

“Don't go.” He said under his breath. “I... Didn't expect to see you here.”
Blair sighed and looked at him with a serious expression. “I wish I could believe you... But I can't.” She said as she removed his hand from her arm and got out of the shop.

He followed her, trying to walk as fast as his leg could help him, until he reached her again. She noticed him behind her, and instinctively walked slowly.

“Please. I really didn't know that you were here.”
“Try a better excuse.” She answered coldly.
“It's just the truth. Could you... Could you please stop for a second and listen to me? I can't keep your pace.”

She stopped in no-time, not knowing why she listened to his request, and she started staring at him with eloquent eyes. “I'll give you one minute.”
“It won't take one minute to say everything. Give me a night.”
She rolled her eyes. “Are you kidding me?”

“I'm serious. It's not something I can say in sixty seconds.”
“What do you want?”
“I want you listen to me.”
“Why?”

“This is not a police interrogation. Stop asking questions or I won't give you answers.”
“I haven't asked for anything. It's you that talked first. I'm not sure I want to listen to your garbage, that's why.” Blair said trying to look uncaring.

“Okay, then” he looked at his watch, “I'm sorry but I have to go. Work awaits. If you ever think about listening to my garbage, come to the Plaza. I'm staying there. Aurevoir, Blair.”

Chuck walked away limping while she watched him. She waited until he got into the shop again and then turned her back and came back home.

* O * O * O * O * O * O * O * O * O * O * O * O *

Three days passed.

Blair thought about going to the Plaza a lot of times, but was afraid to go and hear what he had to say. She was sure he would have told her why he had the cane, and she already felt pity for him, even if he didn't deserve anything.

“Blair, what's wrong?” Serena asked concerned.
Blair looked up. “There's nothing wrong, Serena. Why worry so much?”
“You look like you're thinking about something that bothers you.”
“I... don't. Just... I'm tired.”
“Are you... Maybe thinking about... Him?”
“Who? The guy we met last week? It's over, S. I don't like him.”

Serena came to sit near her on the couch. “I didn't refer to that guy, B. I... You know who I met the other day? I know you may not want to hear this, but... I met Chuck.”

Blair tried to look surprised and indifferent. “Really? I bet he was with some random girl.”
“This time you're wrong. He was... Well, he was working.”

“Chuck Bass working?” Blair laughed, “The only work I saw him doing was control his Hotel. Chuck isn't really the type to do some physical work that's not sex. Even if I...”

“Even if? Blair, are you hiding me something?”
“What? Serena, what do you think?” She laughed hard.
“I know you. Don't tell me you bumped into him too.”

Blair looked down and bit her lip. “It was hot, right? I mean, the weather... And I needed water. I got into that shop and we talked for a while. He wanted to tell me something and said I would have found him at Plaza Hotel. But I don't want to hear any of his garbage.”

“Did he really ask you to meet him? Blair, I think you should go.”
“I'm over the Bass-era, S. I thought you know it.”

“I do! You never talked about him the whole summer, but I bet you are curious to hear why he carries that cane.”

“I bet it's for scene. I think he called someone that told him I was here with you, and so he came, hoping for forgiveness. I'm picturing him doing a pity speech about how he got his leg hurt and blah, blah, blah. I don't buy that anymore.”

“Are you really serious? Remember the last time you miss a date what happened?”
“I'm trying to forget, thank you.”
“Well, do you really want it to happen again? At least hear what he has to say. Maybe you'll be surprised by what he tells you.”

Blair sighed, faking annoyance with the conversation. “I don't care about what he says, S. It's over. Chuck is the past I thankfully left behind. Columbia is the future.”

“Chuck got you into Columbia,” Serena remembered her.
Blair frowned, “it doesn't matter! Look. I'm so stressed now. I'm going to go shopping.”

* O * O * O * O * O * O * O * O * O * O * O * O *

In the end, the evening of the fourth day after she met Chuck, she decided to go to the Plaza.

She knew she told Serena she wouldn't have gone, but her friend was currently busy with some new guy she met the day before at a restaurant and she had a date with him.

What could happen after all? She told herself not to follow him anywhere or get drunk. They could talk into the lobby with people around them. She promised herself to be careful.
Chuck Bass couldn't trick her now. She was stronger.

She went there at around eight in the evening.

If Chuck was working, that was the right time to wait for him and see him. Shops usually closed at seven o' clock in Paris.

She was waiting for him near the doors of the Hotel. She didn't want to be announced by the receptionist when he would come back. What a shame.

She didn't wait long. Chuck showed up at around half past eight. She saw him exiting a car, and he wasn't alone. Blair's heart skipped a beat when she saw him taking the hand of the girl to help her going out of the car. She smiled back at Chuck, and he did the same. Blair felt suddenly out of place there, she was getting jealous.

Chuck and the girl didn't walk to the Hotel's doors. They stopped to talk where the car left them. Blair was really done with that. She couldn't bear it. She thought she was over Chuck, but she obviously wasn't.

She waited for about five minutes there, and wondered why. Then she decided to go home. It really wasn't worth staying there. She felt like she was out of place.

She sighed one last time and then she turned to leave.

What she didn't expect was the rain. She wasn't that far from the entrance of the Plaza that a heavy rain started. She was drenched in a second. She then went under the ledge of the Hotel to repair. Passed her hands in her hair and sighed. She shouldn't have gotten there.

“Blair!” someone shouted from far. It was him. He was a bit drenched with water too. He was under the canopy near the entrance.

Blair turned pretending he wasn't there, but he slowly got near her. She couldn't go further because it rained a lot.

“I didn't expect to see you here,” he confessed with a pleased expression.
“I'm here because it started raining and I needed a shelter.”

“Yes, I believe you.” He laughed. “So, you're drenched, why don't you come up in my suite? I'll give you some towels to dry your hair.”

Blair made a face. “No, thanks. I'll call Serena.”
“Blair. I know you're not happy to see me but at least let me be kind to you. You can't go back home with this weather.”

Blair bit her lip and sighed, shaking her head. “Just until I'm dried.”
Chuck nodded and started walking to the entrance. “Let's go then.”

* O * O * O * O * O * O * O * O * O * O * O * O *

“You know, I have to confess one thing,” Chuck started to say while Blair dried her hair with a towel, “if you want to hear of course.”

She looked up and scrolled her shoulders. “Even if I say no, you'll say it anyways, so... Go on.”

Chuck started walking in the room. He was limping, and she was afraid to look at his weird leg. It looked like this guy wasn't the old Chuck Bass. At least from the outside.

“You wonder why I'm here.”
“To stalk me, right? I bet you called Nate and he told you I was here.”
“I'm sorry to disappoint you, Blair, but I haven't called anybody. Actually, I haven't heard anything about Nate for months.”

Blair nodded, “Yeah, guess you've been busy with girls in Paris.”
Chuck smiled, pleased, “Are you jealous? By the way, it's nothing you may think I did.”

She shrugged and sat on the leather couch that was in the room. She was really paying attention to him. She was curious to hear about this 'story'.

“I... well, after what it happened, I left the country. Despite all you may think, I was so broken and guilty after what I did to you, I couldn't bear having you far from me,” Chuck continued. She noticed he was looking at a picture on the wall while he talked, and he really looked guilty. “I was... really ready to make a big step but I lost myself...”

“You know I couldn't be with you, Chuck. After all that... I can't trust you anymore.”
“I know,” he turned to her, “and I'm not asking you to make up your mind or something. I just want to talk because I wasn't given the opportunity a few months ago.”

“If you're trying to make me change my mind with that thing... You're doing it wrong.”

“I've told you. I'm just apologizing because I couldn't do it. And as for this thing...” he looked down at the cane,  “I really can't live without, I'm not steady yet.”

“Did Humphrey beat you? I guess he must have been really pissed to break your leg.” She laughed a bit, not sure at all he was telling the truth.

“Funny, but it wasn't Dan. It happened when I was in Prague and for the record it wasn't that easily as you're making it.”

Blair looked down then. He was staring at her, and she didn't want that. Chuck came to sit near her. Not really near, but a normal distance she could bear. The story was getting interesting but at the same time weird.

“What happened?” she asked without seeming too concerned.
Chuck laughed slightly and shook his head. “I bet you won't think it's real.”

“Oh, Chuck, spill it. You wanted to say something, then say it or I'll go.”

“I got shot.”

There was a long silence after that. “Are you kidding... Right?” Blair asked then. It couldn't be real. It was like a movie more than real life, that's why.

“I'm not. I've been... Like a month at a Hospital, in Prague. I was alone, didn't want to upset anybody. And I'm thankful I'm still here, alive. I wish I could forget that night.”

“Oh my God.” Blair said suddenly getting up from the couch and massaging her temple. She knew she should hate him in that moment, but she just couldn't. What if Chuck... “Where did they shot you?”

“Here, in the stomach...” he pointed there while Blair looked at him like she wanted to cry. “It hit some nerves. I couldn't walk for two weeks, but then I started to recover and now I only need a cane. They told me I should carry it for a while.”

Blair stood steady in front of him, biting her lower lip. She felt like she wanted to cry, but tried to stop the urge. She couldn't cry in front of him. He would have taken it like pity, and Chuck hated being pitied by people, above all Blair.

“Did they rob you or something?”

Chuck sighed but smiled after, “They did. It was a precious thing I'll never have again...”
“That ugly ring you had?” she asked, noticing his left hand free from the gold ring.

“No, it wasn't that ring. I'm sure you don't want hear that, Blair.”
“Why?” she asked without thinking, “you... could have died, Chuck.”
“I could... Maybe you would have been happier too... I would have what I certainly deserved.”
“You're stupid, Chuck. Even if I hate you now, it doesn't mean I wanted you to die.”

“Good to hear that,” he whispered, “but I still think it was owed. Maybe that was destiny. Like being apart from you and all. And hurt you. And... Well, now I'm paying for it.”

Blair looked down. In a way, she was feeling guilty. He wasn't the one who was making her feel that way, she felt guilty just for the simple fact all happened because she was late at that damned date on the top of the Empire State Building. If Georgina didn't bump into her and Dorota didn't deliver she surely wouldn’t be standing on that couch almost crying. She would have been on that same couch happy to be with him in the city of love enjoying their trip.

“What?” he asked, seeing her looking down. “Do you want something to drink?”

Blair looked up, trying to look calm. “A Martini, please” she murmured. She didn't dare to look at him though.

Chuck came back after five minutes with the drink in hand. He didn't say a word the whole time, he just looked at her looking at the floor. He hoped she was okay. He couldn't bear her being sad or angry because of him. He was regretting telling her the truth.

He sat back on the couch and gave her the drink. She sipped it all like it was bad medicine while he carefully watched.

The atmosphere was really weird, but it was normal since they haven't met for months.

“I'm sorry, Chuck” she said after a while. She slowly turned her head and smiled. He noticed her eyes were a bit red.

“Don't be. Don't apologize for something you haven't done.”

Blair bit her lip. She didn't know how to respond. She didn't even know why she apologized for nothing. She was just... Making movies in her mind. About how all could have been... without him. It looked painful. That's why she felt guilty for all.

They locked eyes for a good minute. Chuck couldn't handle all the tension that was creating between them, so he moved a little near her, and did what he always did when she was down and they were alone.

He placed his hand on her back and massaged it, while she was obviously still shocked. She kept looking down until she turned to face his hand on her back.

He was calm, didn't want to do nothing more rather than calm her too. She had to be calm. He was still alive, so there wasn't anything to cry about. But he was appreciating the concern.

She was crying now, all of a sudden. She couldn't contain her tears more.

Chuck put his hand on her cheek to dry her tears. It was an automatic gesture; it wasn't the first time he was doing that. He could say he was used to that. He then moved closer, putting his forehead on hers. It was an automatic gesture too, like what he did after.

She closed her eyes and so he went to kiss her lips. He felt the tears falling again and wetting his hand, but he didn't care. Tears would have stopped after a bit.

He felt the need to kiss her. Not only to make her feel comfortable, but to make her feel like she was home, like she could still rely on him and all the rest.

He just wanted that, but then the feelings took over him, and the hand that was on her cheek slowly fell on her back, starting designing paths over there.

She didn't push back until she felt his hot hand under her shirt. It was sliding on her sweat and it gave her chills. Weird feeling for a summer hot night.

“Chuck...” she whispered in between a kiss, “we can't... we can't do this.”
“I'm sorry” he answered, sighing, going away. “I shouldn't have...”

Blair trailed him off, she was breathing faster.  “Don't be!” She bit her lip again, repeating the same words he used before. “I've missed you, Chuck.” She then kissed him fiercely, unable to stop, and he did the same.

Their kisses were wild and full of angst, like they couldn't get enough of the other. Maybe it was because they haven't seen each other for weeks, maybe because they both wanted this since the day they have broken up. One thing was clear, it seemed like they couldn't stop.
She knew she was giving up on her promise, but who cared now that she was there, right? The only thing that counted were his lips and his body, and the fact that he was alive. Maybe that was what made her change her mind.

Chuck's lips went on her neck to kiss it kindly, giving her chills as his right hand moved on her back. She was pushed on the couch then, and her head hit one of the pillows.

Blair continued kissing him trying to open his shirt and get her hand inside to brush his chest hair. She felt like she missed touching him there. It was one of her favorite spots because it was a warm place and because there was his heart. She used to sleep several times with her head put on the left side of his chest. It felt so comfortable, like he was protecting her.

His other hand reached her hair and kept messing them around while he tried to remove her shirt with the other hand. It was a bit hard, so she removed her lips from his for a second and with a smile she threw her silk shirt on the floor.

It was easy now, for him, reaching the hook of her bra. But first, he had to undone the zip of her skirt. This time was harder because she lied down, and she noticed it, so she stood up and gave her hand to him to help, and he moved his hands on her hips to loosen it.

That flowered skirt fell near the shirt, and few seconds later was followed by his white shirt, the same he used to work when she saw him.

Blair went to undo his belt. It was like she was in a hurry; she practically opened it with rage and throw it on the couch, almost hurting her finger as the belt didn't want to collaborate.

They both laughed when this happened, and she suddenly saw his eyes, now happy and clearly sincere, and she felt like she was at home, like none of what happened months before really did happen. It felt weird. Maybe because she knew she was just giving up on a temptation and following Oscar Wilde's philosophy wasn't the right thing to do.

Their lips crushed hard after.

He started to walk slowly then, because of his leg, and they reached the big bed.

Blair felt the silk on her skin. She saw the bed few minutes before, but she was confused now to think what the color of the sheets might be, as if it cared at that moment.

She gripped her leg on his back, and her hands too. Her nails almost scratched his back, but he didn't complain. He kept kissing her everywhere instead, uncaring of the thunders that started to thud outside the window. Theirs was a better tempest that could compete with the one that was happening outside.

Chuck went to kiss her chest, then decide to remove her bra to better kiss her breasts, and suck one of her nipples like he was a little baby. All of it, did it with kindness and with love. Yes, because they both know that wasn't the lust and the will to have sex again that pushed them that far in few minutes, it was love the engine that was leading them to that point.

She moaned a little when he tasted her flesh between his teeth. He was gently, she moaned only because obviously he turned her on with his kisses.

His mouth descended to her panties that he removed with his teeth and hands before kissing the inner of her leg, making her jolt for pleasure.

He then raised his head. She was looking at him, and they were holding gazes for a while before she sat on the bed and reached for his pants and then his boxers. “Take me now” she then whispered gripped on his arms.

She lied down again as he literally jumped on her body and angrily entered her. She moaned a lot then, while he tried to distract her kissing her neck. It was too much to handle at the same time. He kept moving as he kissed her, while her hands nailing them into his back.

The next morning she was woken by the sun on her face. She rolled left and she saw his arm under her head. She was sure she slept with her head on his chest. She dreamt about it, to be honest, couldn't figure out if it was reality or fantasy. Looking by how that point looked red right now, it was true. It wasn't a dream. It wasn't unreal even the night of sex they had.

She looked down, she was naked under silk black sheets. This thing bother her a bit, she remembered trying to tell herself she was stronger now, she could resist Chuck, but then...

She sighed and saw one of his shirts on the chair near the bed. She moved his hand away from her back and got off the bed to wear that thing.

Suddenly she felt something move behind her. She thought it was him, but she turned and he was asleep like a little baby. It was insisting, so she put her panties on and checked his phone.

There was a text. She felt like didn't check because it might have been private, but the curiosity was a lot, because it was too early. Who texted Chuck Bass at nine o' clock sharp?

She opened it by the way. She sighed loudly when she saw who sent it. It was a name she didn't know. Eva... Who was Eva?

She tried to control her anger after she read the text, and threw his blackberry on the bed, trying not to wake him, then she went into the other room, got dressed and was ready to leave.

“Hey,” she suddenly felt few minutes later. She turned to face a sleepy Chuck all smiling in the bed. He looked handsome in that moment she couldn't even contain herself.

She answered him with a glare, collecting her bag near there.
“It's too early... Why don't you come in bed again?” he proposed.

Blair bit her lip, but didn't answer. “Once I learned one can't be sitting on two horses.”
Chuck shook his head and looked straight in her eyes. “What? Are you insane, Blair?”
“I'm not. Seems like you never learn. You're such a bastard!” She said as she turned to leave.

“Blair!” he called, going out of the bed with a robe, “You can't leave like this. Without an explanation. You wanted this. You agreed. Now don't blame me.”
“I'm not blaming you for this. I'm blaming you because you are a liar.”

He managed to reach her, and she was disturbed by his limping. She forgot that detail. “Blair, calm down. Tell me what happened. All has an explanation.”

“Who is Eva?”
Chuck frowned, “Have you looked into my texts?”
“I did. That phone kept vibrating and I was angry to hear that sound so I checked.”
“You violated my privacy.”
“But I guess it wasn't wrong to do it, right? Because I realized you never changed, Chuck.”

“You don't know anything.” He said harshly as Blair looked away.
“I may don't know anything, but want thing I know. I don't want to be your mistress.”

She then turned to leave, and Chuck didn't stop her because she was too fast. All this mess had to be explained someday. For the first time, he wasn't guilty.