Horrid week
Well, I haven't updated in a while. I've been really busy, with school and stuff, and just for the record, it SUCKS. I may move soon, out to Niles or Austintown. I hate where I am now. People are assholes, well, you could probably find that anywhere, but I've just been in Girard my whole life, and have had many horrible things happen to me. Yes, I had a boyfriend up until this morning at about 12AM. I found out that my boyfriend didn't want to be with me anymore.. I don't think he ever did. So, I didn't sleep for more than 5 hours last night, andI have a major migrane. I was just lying in bed, thinking what could be wrong with me. I can never find someone who actually loves me for who I am and isn't really shy around me either. I fucking hate it, and I'm beginning to hate myself I think. I frequently find myself wishing to be in another place, or I'd wish that I was someone else.. The fighting with my dad constantly doesn't help either. I don't cut anymore, but It has crossed my mind a lot lately. I just need someone to make me feel like I was human, like I was loved, but I can't EVER seem to find someone who could do that for me... I do have a couple of friends who try to help me, and usually they do, but, man, I fucking LOVED that kid.. and then to find out that he never really loved you back.. well.. it hurts.. a lot.. and I want to find my biological mother, but things don't look so good on that part either. It is almost impossible, because #1, my adoptive parents "say" they don't know anything, but I don't believe them, because not once have I seen my birth certificate. I think I was born at this one hospital in Warren, but I don't know. So, I will stop complaining in my livejournal, so you can get back to your lives.. Comment if you care