The road so far
Figured I should probably update you all on how I am
So it's been a month taking the anti-depressants. THe first weeek I was tired, upset, and they were probably just starting to affect me so I knew I wouldn't see results. Then the 2nd week I felt a change. I started getting up early, felt like I could do anything I wanted. I haven't felt that amazing in years lol I was actually getting up an hour before leaving for work instead of 15 mins!
Then stress mounted again and I felt like they weren't working. They probably were; I might have been a wreck without them. As it is I coped, and made it to recess. Now the past 2 weeks it's been recess, and I've felt exhausted every single day, neaseous after food, tired, not getting up till 11...but that could be cos it's recess and it's hot again and I'm used to being in an air-conditioned place now lol I've been spoilt :P
The true test will be going back to work on Monday. The last week there, I had a really bad day and just sat in the resource room crying, and then sat in the toilets crying; just a bad incident with a kiid that shattered confidence in myself and my ability and if I'd actually learnt anything. The good thing was that day I had a mentoring session with Raylene, and Laura came (she'd had to come to help with the kid) and she explained that even now they still learn things and that I shouldn't be so hard on myself and just to learn from it and move on. That it was ok not to know what to do in that kind of situation and that I wasn't a failure basically. And then I had a good talk with Raylene about working there and some issues I might have, and after that I felt so much better.
So no, I'm doing better than I was. I am in no way cured, pills don't do that; they allow you to function despite the depression, allow you the ability to go on while you build yourself back up. And I'm of course trying my best to be the best me I can be :)
So it's been a month taking the anti-depressants. THe first weeek I was tired, upset, and they were probably just starting to affect me so I knew I wouldn't see results. Then the 2nd week I felt a change. I started getting up early, felt like I could do anything I wanted. I haven't felt that amazing in years lol I was actually getting up an hour before leaving for work instead of 15 mins!
Then stress mounted again and I felt like they weren't working. They probably were; I might have been a wreck without them. As it is I coped, and made it to recess. Now the past 2 weeks it's been recess, and I've felt exhausted every single day, neaseous after food, tired, not getting up till 11...but that could be cos it's recess and it's hot again and I'm used to being in an air-conditioned place now lol I've been spoilt :P
The true test will be going back to work on Monday. The last week there, I had a really bad day and just sat in the resource room crying, and then sat in the toilets crying; just a bad incident with a kiid that shattered confidence in myself and my ability and if I'd actually learnt anything. The good thing was that day I had a mentoring session with Raylene, and Laura came (she'd had to come to help with the kid) and she explained that even now they still learn things and that I shouldn't be so hard on myself and just to learn from it and move on. That it was ok not to know what to do in that kind of situation and that I wasn't a failure basically. And then I had a good talk with Raylene about working there and some issues I might have, and after that I felt so much better.
So no, I'm doing better than I was. I am in no way cured, pills don't do that; they allow you to function despite the depression, allow you the ability to go on while you build yourself back up. And I'm of course trying my best to be the best me I can be :)