nin sense
i dont know if ive discussed this before, but i
had this creepy dream.
i remember some parts but sme parts i feel as if
its made by my vast imagination.
hmm i feel creeped out writing it but i guess i
should continue now that ive started to,
well ive had this strange dream that i sort of
felt like i was tricked into selling my soul,
and the price was living forever, staying young
forever
(But i didnt sell my soul! i would never sell my
soul!!!, never!),
(talk about ghost rider huh!...)..
well ud think to ureself that it would be nice
to be forever young,
living out the days of my life that i regret,
starting a new one, without consequences or pain.
hmmm how the dream went was pretty creepy...
well..
there was this guy that whisphered in my ear..
i forgot what his exact words where but the
sense was...
to live forever .. that i was gonna BE AN
IMMORTAL. somethin like
"your going to live forever"... duh.
uhmmm like eternal ife...
the moment felt it was so real ike you werent
dreaming, like you were awake only the place
and time was magical adn surreal, and wierd,
adn it was black and blue, and the peoples skin
were whit, woooohhh,,,,
hmmmm and oddly one should be happy to be
immortaL,
but i felt like i actually didnt want to live
forever.... especially if it had a price. the
price was never discussed, it just something
felt. (AND ONCE AGAIN I DID NOT SELL M SOUL!!!i
do not have any rights to do that!i believe in
god!)anyways moving on...
besides the fact that its creepy, i wonder why i
was scared to live forever, there are some
thoughts that made itself present like leaving
people behind or being left behind and being
alone for all
eternity..............................thats kind of
scary....there was sort of a time frame in my
mind that showed up like your passing time and
again it was in black and bleu and dark
stuff...
but honestly i dont really have much people that
i would leave or leave me.
i guess what was really scary was the passing
of time. for a moment just now i dont know if it
was after the dream or if it was part of the
dream that i would still exist till the end of
time...
hmmm i mean the existence of earth, falling in
space. then that was it,. ahahah that was
freaky and creepy but well it was a dream way
way back i wonder if iver written it down
wehehehe.....ill look for it..
hmmmm, im looking at numbers...... it grosses me
out to look at how old people have grown, it
reminds me of how life has passed me by. it
saddens me how it has come to this .
i bring a sigh if pain once in a while it seems
as if theres nothing much i can do.
hmmmi cant help but be lazy i feel as if life is unfair beised the humungous burden ive faced adn is still facing, im not even smart or pretty, or brave, or friendly what the heck kind of life is sthis... sigh once again the sigh of pain. and i seem to be a target of people who likes to hurt other people ... sigh.. why cant you ust leave me alone, leave me be.............!!! go fuck yourself or something mhan!
im still completely dumb founded as to how some
people can take and take and take ans still
want some more.. when the victim thier taking
from has nothing left.
worst is that the victim gets blamed for things
she didnt do or just stupid stuff,, id love to
make a move and fight for my life.
but it saddens me to say that some people were
made weak through time, you would think that
one should be strong through experience, but
understand that one can only suffer so much ,
and out of being drained one can collapse out
of exhaustion...
what the heck am i talking about...
on to the lighter side of things...
im reading edgar allan pos work.. boy h boy that guy creepy............and its great!buhahahahah!!!!!
ahahahah im watching bam margera and tom
green right now.. thier so funny ehehehehehe...
oohh synthesizers and samplers adn piano are fun!!!! woohooo!!!im such a loner freak, sigh id love to lie in here ansay i have a happy life but i cant sigh)....
i wanna change my skins here.. oohh.............
i just finshed claymore,melancholy of haruhi susumiya and nodame cantanoble...and thier all so kakoi,,, stekki!!!!hmmm i think im the problem is i just wanna meet some aliens, withces, vampires, and espers, adn magical faeries and stuff like that.. i shall never grow up make believe is much too fun.. and ive decided no one will hurt me. at least just inside. coz i am dead,anyways.wahahahahahaha..... this is a diary.. if ure freaked out by what your reading go fuck yourself adn reads someone elses blog...
sigh love love ove piano...
glad... im back to basic heavy metal music is playin in my head in my brain in my er adn its amazing.. some jrock island trip hop...love love love music.. i believe its the only thing ioll ever love ....
[/break]
MUSICCCCCC.............
is life.....................
^-^.
Currently Watching: kung fu panda, zohan,anime
Currently Reading: tell tales of edgar allan poe
Currently Listening: him - wicked game/blood + ost