scary night mares
i had horrible dream/s again uhm let me rephrase that dream night mare.
i think it was related to something i watched a few weeks ago. early this morning i
dreamt of chiropterans, thier vampires that can shapeshift, mainly thier true form is
a beast looking creature. i dont fully remember the dream but it was in a forest and
we saw a chipteran lair, i was with someone.or waiting for someone and we had to
hide other wise we would be eaten then, my grandmother lied down beside me in my bed
and we were talking about something, then i think i woke up i know thats senseless,
but hiding from a chiropteran is scary man, geesh when i woke up i couldnt sleep
again.
(now that ive written all of this i remembered a part we were in a house first adn
were still hiding from chripterans, i was waiting for someone and i coulndt wait so
i guess i went outside)
but i did.
and this time my dream/nightmare was a full on movie!!!
geesh why do i have this long dreams. hahah its like i have a free ticket to a
cinema, to watch a horror movie and i dont really watch horror films, so basically i have night mares...
anyways this is how it goes.
i dont fully remember how it started, so probably some parts are gonna be missing,
but it was in my room, there were two people outside and i was with a girl inside my
room, she was smoking pot and comfortably lying down on the other bed and then shes
urging me to smoke pot, when when i took it, it was burning like, really burning like
it was a fist sized paper, burning, then someone came in and i had to hide it, and it
was like smoking , and so that was funny coz it was so obvious but i was still trying
to hide it, then somehow my cousin came in the picture and wanted to go to the mall,
so we can buy clothes and stuff, and so we were in the mall, for some reason we were
in the gown and girly section it was a really huge bad ass mall, like elite looking,
the walls were cream and the clothes were amazing.
the first batch of clothes that we went too were ok, but they were kind of not my size
it was on the the center left part and there were silver glittery tops, and green gown
tops, and blue dresses, it was ver couture and there were even sales lady too wehehe,
so my cousin was loooking for stuff, we were with some one else but i dont know who.
i tried on a gown like a grey gliitery one i think or blue gray i dont know dreams
are wierd so i dont really remember or know if that was even a color. i think it was
mine, but it was way to tight for me it was long flowing so i had to try another one,
and then we looked at another section it was the front section and it has this
beautiful amazing clothes a manequin was wering this purple dress with purple rhine
stone, is that what you call it?, i dont really know how to descibe it, but it had a
puple top and a sort of belt shawl that had a design on it, then it had this reall;y
huge purple stones hwee.. i wanted it but i felt like i couldnt possibly afford it, i
had to move on to another section in the right part and then when i walked towards
the other section my cousin went for the gown or clothes that i was eyeing on, andthen
tookit and tried it on even though we didnt have no money...
then the next thing you know we had to leave and then i was in a cementery, and i
saw all the graves of dead people that i know... my grandfathers grave and other
people, that i know.. or felt i know, only the grave was different looking from the
real one but i knew whose grave it was....
there were several sections, we went to the first section, the second section was were
my grandpa was and i had to touch the writings and then we had this third section,
and i think i was crying or a girl was crying, coz i ws wathing it too but feeling i
was the one crying all at the same time,so her mom was talking to her she was crying
because her mom wanted to leave her in the grave..in the cementary, to read
something, to read a writing on the grave, or a say a prayer that she only knows, for
something in the grave.
then she left me, i saw my self being left by my mum , for some reason , it was
snooky cerna wahahah,...wierd.
then she was crying.
then i went after my mum.., and ran for my life coz geesh i was scared of the cementary, and for some reason, i felt like there was someone following me..
and what do you now...
there were vampires fallowing me, they were from the grave jesus christ...
my mom wanted to leave me there so i can read something, and that something, was to
stop them from rising ever again,. so i was ahead of them, and i ran, they werent
really after me, they were after some one else or some people i think snooky cerna got killed or something, but all i know is when i saw them i ran for my life.
and the odd thing is when i went out of the cementary, it was a vast land of
nothingness, nothing but dirt and mud... and few unfinished old buildings almost buried to the pile of dirt and mud... there was a space in between the cementary and the other
land so i had to jump and thankfully i was able to make it, there was half mountain of dirt that i can hide in..so they wont see where i was going r if i was there, i had to skip to another land again, so i ran and i ran , and i felt like i was sinking in the mud, but i still
ran, i ran till i can run on dry land, it was pretty dry i dont really know whay i was
sinking but i ran till i was stable, until i can feel thier far enough, and for some reason i knew this place had
survivors and alas, there were survivors ( thats actually my mind controlling it now right?...) they were up in a high uhm i dont know what its called but its a pile of metals together and old unfinished building was beside it
but its distorted that it didnt really matter that it was there....
there were people in the higher plane...and boy i was so glad seeing them, seeing
other humans, i know that the plane was half assed built and i know it was ridiculous
to stand there because the vampire would get there because it wasnt that high and it was
just metal scraps put together and their weapons were metal scraps too, but they did invite me so i did go
and went up to the higher plane for safety, and boy do i feel relieved, from running, although i was still worried, for some reason i saw the sun setting and we knew that the vampires were coming, they were coming to get us, they were coming to get the last of us. i think. or maybe there were other people i just didnt kow, and for
some reason...
after that we went to a head quarter or hiding base and boy it was really roomy it was you know like in the water world where everything was hanging only this place was in a high plane, and the technology, was advanced, there was like this escalator place with the sides and the top with blue lights, similar to a vortex or i dont know what its called, but this was use to travel from place to place and while we were in it , we were talking to this high boss we were to discuss what was the plan to over throw these vampire, for some reason i
didnt tell them then i can stop these vampire from reading whatever it was on that
cemntary, it was a writing in the grave...but for some reason they knew , or they
knew what was on my mind,and i felt like responsible for saving our kind.
hmmm....
and for some reason,i felt like i had to save the day and some of my new friends
wanted to go with me, and some of us, a guy and a girl we went ho this car place,
i dont know if it was a shop, but we certainly broke in, but the odd thing is the cars
were inside this rooms with see through glass panes ,and they were i think ferraris
and really really very expensive cars but it had house stuff inside the room too, for
some reason i thought the other room was dangerous so we went to the other room,
tit looked suspicious as well but it looked less suspicious than the other one, it was in the right rrom, so we went there
the funny thing is when we went inside the room it was so much spacier, there was a
child looking doll standing and a woman sitting in a sofa adn she was not facing us for some reasn she really gave us the creeps, the car was in the middle
and we were to steal the car, until i got the feeling were to attack the place... we
were standing for a few moments when the mom/woman, became a vampire simoltaneously
withh the child vampire...and attacked us.
so i think the guy fought the woman vampire and the small girl that we went with
fought the woman too.
and i was stuck with the child vampire, she just became this scary creature all of a
sudden and attacked me, but i was able to kill her by decapitatihg her head i had
a hard time, but it was done, the other vampire was decapitated too, and died that
small girl woman that we went with killed the vampire woman.. and then the small girl
woman walked towards me and was very angry and was saying some things and for some reason i looked at the child vampire it was head of a doll, and there was blood al over it, while looking i just got the feelinf that we stole tha car so we did, just stole the car and escaped... then i was woken up
to eat dinner....
geesh that was scary i still have goosebumps thinking about it.
all in all i think it has something to do with me being scared of whats gonna happen to me, im not in a great place right now, not that i ever was, but im really trying to just be positive on my own, :p, its really hard when im manic depressive and borderline and add and monster parents to deal with, i have all this problems just convulating at me but i guess i have to deal, and i am trying to make myself smile everyday..i dont know how i do it, the thing is it happens for waht a few minutes, then i have to find something else to do, then im back with my head, geesh, what scares me most is my inabilty to deal with people, and lack of knowledge of the thing that i want to do most in life, coz clearly i dont wanna be an it person, or be a call center agent, ...i dont wanna do a job that i feel like i will vomit everytime that i do it, plus if you hate the job your doing youll proly do it half assed and youll always be in trouble right, and i guess, this is why trouble is always trying to be my friend, geesh, i really dont know what to do.
uhg im so confused right now. and really sick. discombobulated and strange. wahahah. its so fucking lame and stupid to be this sad, -.-, i hate wondering what other people are doing right now. i hate being scared all the time. and hating too much, it gets tiring, it really does corrupt your mind especially your soul, what happens is when someone hurts you, your in this deep pain, and then if it happens for a long tme it turns to hate, unstoppable raging hate, sigh and it corrupts you in the long haul, you need doctors prescriptions, to stop, the things that are just popping out of your head, thats why im so shelved and quiet, and i never talk, i just dont wanna show to much emotion, coz whenver i talk it shows im sad and thats lame, i dont wanna ruin peoples mood, and i never really fight back , coz i really dont want drama, and complications, as much as possible peace would be the greatest option, geesh theres nothing wrong with not wanting to hurt your fellow kinsman, but alot of us still do it, sometimes unintentionally., coz we all grew up in different culture adn we all have different beliefs and values, something that is right to you might not necessarily be right to me, do you get the whole picture, thats why im very much tolerant, to everything i shut up and suck it in, well, if really needed i would fight for myself if some one hit me id be like im gonna slap the son of a bitch down to the ground but as long as its nothing serious, peace be with you,i mean as long as its not hurting no one, people should just relax,...geesh, i hate myself, yet i pity myself. sigh well, suck it in sissy pants.!!!!
uhm anyway back to reality sucks,.
darn it, im making comics again, i found out ive been really into this story telling thingy, and well i found out that i was great in pencil and i suck at tracing it, when using a pen, so what happens is that i draw beautifully using a pencil and after wards when its traced, it becomes this completely different character from the one i drew using the pencil, so everything seems half assed drawn and it really completely pisses me of. darn it. heheh, huwah you guys should listen to yann tiersen he really inspires me to do artsy stuff.
when i listen to imogen heap i get inspired to make songs, and when i read i write stories, and when i listen to yann tiersen i just paint, write and make songs its really wierd what music can do to your senses, it like fills u up. hmm i really have this strange fixation with music wahahah i think i love it more than i can love a human waheheh i know thats evil but its the truth, waheheh anyways this has been too long and i have to download and watch sme stuff. im gon be watching american pyscho i watched ed wood a few days ago it was budass!! sweet! ayt! peace adn rock on /m/
Currently Watching: hmmm
Currently Reading: still great tales of edgar allan poe
Currently Listening: yann tiersen