[Fic] Torn Asunder [Sephiroth/Genesis]
Title: Torn Asunder
Pairing: Sephiroth/Genesis, Angeal/Genesis, Angeal/Zack.
Rating: PG-13
Genre: Hurt/Comfort.
Wordcount: 4,769
Warnings: Emotional maelstrom!
Synopsis: We do things we don’t mean, but that doesn’t make it any easier on the ones we injure.
AN: Totally random idea whilst cleaning my fishtank.
“Legend shall speak, of sacrifice at world's end. The wind sails over the water's surface,
Quietly, but surely,” Genesis sighed and snapped his book shut without even turning the page to find another, devoid of printed worlds. Over the years he had been reading from that edition of LOVELESS, he had jotted down various theories and interpretations on the back few blank pages. He was not in the mood for contemplation or debating with himself, so he simply placed the book on the table.
The lack of distraction was worse than distracting: it was driving him out of his mind. He could hear the gentle, rhythmic click of his antique-style clock down the hall in his bedroom, and the hum of electricity in the walls. The sounds were ones he knew well; he could usually ignore them, but without another’s soft breathing and the scratch of pen on paper, they quickly grew annoying.
In the hope of anything, Genesis reached for his phone and flipped it open. No messages, no new calls and unread one email. It was from the City Planning Office so he immediately deleted it with a sneer and no interest. With another loud exhale, the SOLDIER stuffed the device into its pocket inside his coat.
At least, of all the sounds he was hearing not one of them with the scurrying of insects. A smile tugged at the corners of his lips, remembering earlier days in Midgar, after his best friend had received permission to keep potted plants in their dorm. The promotion to First Class and the private apartment that came with it was a Goddess-send. He remembered that Angeal had bought him his very own plant as a home-warming gift. That was quickly given to Director Lazard on pretence as a thanks for his signature on the promotion paperwork.
Genesis paused, sitting up straight on the sofa. He had heard a few mutters in the cafeteria at lunch that his best friend had returned from an assignment, but dismissed them as false because he had not been contacted by the younger SOLDIER to say that he was home. But it was one loose string that would occupy the redhead for all of five minutes.
He knew it was a waste of his time, as Angeal always called him the moment he set foot in the city limits. It was a silly habit they got into as Cadets, keeping a tab on each other as classes and mundane duties made it hard to keep up to date. They might have stayed in the same room together, but they rarely slept in it at the same time. And they had not slept together since before they entered SOLDIER.
Frowning, Genesis opened his front door and strolled down the corridor. SOLDIER had amplified all the virtues of his dark-haired friend, and that was his reason for the seemingly permanent block on their sexual relationship. How their relationship was dishonourable now, as it had never been in Banora, Genesis did not understand. He had tried to undermine Angeal many times, but the man was adamant. It had been difficult at start, but after a few months, Genesis had another target to chase, finding the prize surprisingly fulfilling.
Sephiroth had been glad to possess everything Angeal had discarded; becoming something much more and yet completely different. Genesis might have lost and gained a new lover, but he had kept his best friend, and that was all he really needed from Angeal. Although, he would not say no if Angeal decided to drop his morals for an hour or two.
He knocked twice on Angeal’s door. It was exactly the same as the others along the long corridor. The wooden façade over the metal gave each one a much more homely feel, whilst the staunchly spotless carpet and occasional artificial plant felt much more like a hotel. No one answered, unsurprisingly, and Genesis was just about to wander back up to his apartment when he heard a quiet giggle come from inside. The doors were all soundproofed, and he only heard it due to the silence around him.
The sound itself was far too childish for Angeal; most definitely that of the SOLDIER’s latest student, which erased some of the shock. Immediately, curiosity seized Genesis as to why the teenager would be in Angeal’s apartment whilst he was away. Then, why he would be giggling? For the sake of his friend, Genesis had to make sure he was not doing anything untoward.
Genesis scanned his keycard on the panel beside the door; opening it and sliding in with feline stealth and grace. Zack giggled again, much louder this time. Genesis pinpointed the origin to the bedroom. His eyebrows furrowed deeply. If Zack was amusing himself in Angeal’s bedroom, he had no idea just how much trouble that would get him into with his mentor. Genesis was already contemplating ideas of blackmail, or at least leverage.
“Fair?” the redhead called out, trying to hide the smirk that was plain on his face, and succeeded only a little.
His response was a scrabble of noise, and then a near silent “Oh, damn,” that was certainly not from the teenager. Genesis froze mid step, eyes wide for a moment before they narrowed. His feet carried him quicker than before to the bedroom door. It was slightly ajar, and he shoved it hard; ignoring the bang of it meeting the wall. His bright blue eyes narrowed further, hardening to the crystal they shared colour with.
Inside, Zack was on his back on the mattress and Angeal was quite happily nestled between his legs. Though they both wore underwear, it was quite clear that had Genesis been a few minutes later, it would have been a different story. The redhead’s lips pulled tight. Angeal withdrew from his mentee. There was no anger in his sapphire eyes, simply panic, embarrassment and apprehension. Genesis could see all the gears turning in Angeal’s head; how the man was trying to find the best way - quickly - as possible to defuse the situation. Let the man try!
“Gene-”
“What happened to your honour?” he spat. Hands balled tightly and the young Third Class shrunk back as one scarlet fist began to glow dimly.
“Genesis, I was going to tell you-”
“Tell me what?!” he shouted. It had been a while since he felt something like this, and almost exclusively, it was Sephiroth who made him feel it. “that you’d far rather had him than me?” his voice faltered for a second, betraying that the foundation of his fury was nothing but hurt. Betrayal, was the one word that reverberated in his head. No thoughts, no rational explanation, but that one word.
“It’s not like that, Gen-” Angeal spoke softly, as if it would help his cause.
Shaking his head sharply, Genesis averted his gaze to the floor. He clenched his jaw, speaking through gritted teeth. “What makes him better than me? How long since you changed your mind?!”
Before Angeal could spout something else, the scarlet SOLDIER was back glaring at the two of them. “You’d rather fuck something young and fresh? Is that it?”
Both of the dark-haired SOLDIER’s eyes widened. But Angeal’s lips twisted, trying to keep a straight line and still tongue.
“How many of your other students have you fucked, Angeal?”
“Genesis!” finally, Angeal snapped. He yanked himself away from Zack completely, rising to his feet, but not approaching the simmering redhead. There was still the threat of Fire that would surely be cast if Genesis felt cornered for a moment.
“I have a right to know, Angeal. A right to know how long my best friend,” the word couldn’t have been said with more venom. It was sharper than a hit from his sword, he knew. He intended it so and relished in the flash of pain across the other’s features. “has been fucking lying to me,”
The other shouted in his defence. “Genesis, Zack’s the first… you’ve been wi-” the look that passed just behind those dark blue eyes told Genesis that he was restraining himself from spreading out the redhead’s dirty laundry for Zack to hear. It was well-known that the young SOLDIER had a loose tongue.
“Why would you give up your honour for that?” Genesis gestured to the petrified boy as if he was nothing but a broken piece of furniture.
“I’m in love with him!”
The words stole the fire right out from Genesis, and with it went everything he was. Blue eyes stared blankly, lips parted slightly for a few moments before he recoiled slowly. He blinked twice, unable to look at anything other than the floor, littered with two SOLDIER uniforms. “Oh, I see,”
“Genesis,” Angeal said softly and Genesis heard his footsteps approach. The second those feet entered his line of sight, the scarlet SOLDIER snapped back into animation and fled the apartment, slamming the door shut behind him.
As there were cameras in the corridor, Angeal would not rush out in his underwear and with an obvious erection. As it was, anyone watching would be astonished enough to see Genesis furiously wiping his eyes with the back of his glove.
So, Angeal had given up that ruse of honour for Zack out of love. He had built it originally out of a lack of that feeling for Genesis; an excuse to give him up. Suddenly, years of Genesis’ life were torn asunder. Pleasant memories lay on the ground, trampled and ruined. He had given himself to his younger friend out of a genuine emotion that he thought was reciprocated. Genesis could not decide whether it hurt more because he had found out that it had meant nothing, or that he had been fool enough to believe it ever had. To be betrayed by the one he trusted the most, the SOLDIER was not sure he meant anything to anyone anymore.
Blindly, he pushed himself away from the wall and hurried down the corridor to the lift. He was spared company all the way up to the roof. The helicopter pad was vacant and a wind blew harshly. It was cold and tore through Genesis’ copper hair, concealing his face and the broken expression on it. There was only so much a mask could cover, and with nothing underneath, it caved in completely.
He walked towards the high railing that ran along the edge of the Shin-Ra building. The view was as always spectacular and he could see the specs of the city dwellers ambling about their lives. They were all worthless, but not possessed by delusions of grandeur. They knew their place in life and they always had. Genesis envied them.
Letting out a shaky breath, he reached into his coat and found his phone again. He dialled a number from memory, slightly surprised he even could. There was only one hesitation as his instinct, when seized by pain and anguish, nearly called Angeal. But the phone recognised the number and confirmed that he had not.
After a few moments, the receiver finally picked up. “Hello?” Sephiroth’s deep voice rumbled into Genesis’ ear and he forced a smile.
“Hey, Moonbeam,” he was glad that it managed to seep into his voice. It wasn’t enough to be convincing, but Sephiroth was still not as in tune with Genesis emotions as he could have been. But then again, Sephiroth had never seen nor heard Genesis feeling how he did. That was Angeal alone, simply because he thought the man cared. Wrong again. “How are you doing?”
“It’s Modeoheim,” was all the General replied. It was all he had to say, not only being a master of every aspect of minimalism, but also because Genesis knew very well what the place was like. Desolate, cold and a breeding ground for monsters. “How are you?”
“I’m good,” he lied, pushing more of that smile into words. “Bored out of my mind,”
“I’m sure LOVELESS fills the void I left.”
The redhead made a quiet noise of understanding, turning to rest his back against the railing. “I miss you,”
Sephiroth only hummed, already sounding distant. “I shouldn’t be much longer,”
“Seph,” Genesis bit his lip, hardly believing that he - no matter how injured and upset - was going to request for his lover’s company. He either took it, or remained the loyal SOLDIER and waited until duties were concluded. To ask was a weakness. “Do you think you cou-”
The General interrupted him with another hum, “Genesis, can I call you back later? I am busy at the moment,”
The redhead swallowed a new lump in his throat, though it just felt like the same one he had before, only doubled in size. “Oh, certainly,” he said flatly, but Sephiroth didn’t pick up on it. “I’ll talk to you later then,”
“Yes,” was all he got before the bleep of the call terminating.
Genesis slowly lowered the phone and left his arm hanging limply at his side. He did not feel the cold so much anymore. He did not care that he could not see anything through the flame-like strands of his hair. At least its vibrant colour still held life. He supposed he still looked the same, which meant he could perhaps heal his wounds, somehow. Though there was no one left to help him pick up the shattered pieces that lay behind that cracked façade. For the first time, he was alone. But he was smart enough and driven enough by a need to appear flawless, unharmed and strong in the eyes of the ones that had wounded him that he knew, at least, how to start.
--
“Genesis?” Sephiroth called out the moment he entered the redhead’s apartment. He dropped his rucksack in the alcove beside the door before continuing in. All the lights were off; boots missing. The thought that the SOLDIER was just elsewhere in the building contented Sephiroth enough that he wandered on to the bedroom to change out of his uniform.
As he walked through the main living area, he noticed how the bookcase beside the window was missing quite a few books. Sephiroth frowned. Genesis could not carry that much on his person, and he was meticulous about where he kept his books… and he wasn’t the type to lend them out. The General checked the bedroom, likewise finding clothes missing and all the other things Genesis’ used daily.
Confused, he fished out his phone and rung the first number that came to him. As soon as it stopped ringing, he said sharply, “Angeal, where’s Genesis?”
“Gen-he hasn’t spoken to you?”
“Not for a few days. Has he been put on assignment?” there was a little surprise that echoed in his head. The redhead would almost always ring him or at least leave a note, lest a situation like this arose. The hesitation in Angeal’s reply confused Sephiroth further. “What’s happened?”
“He’s gone to Banora-officially he’s on leave, only because Lazard wanted to avoid a court martial,”
“He went AWOL,” the younger SOLDIER muttered needlessly. It wasn’t like him to treat words so frivolously, but it was just as much not like Genesis to endanger his position as SOLDIER. “What happened?”
Angeal groaned - a sign of guilt even Sephiroth understood. “We fought. I said something… and he took it wrong way,”
Fights between the friends were rare, but it still was not like Genesis to vanish. “What?”
Another groan, “I kind of-he thinks that I don’t love him,”
Sephiroth didn’t react to the proclamation of feeling for the one that he, too, loved. Angeal was no threat. He never had been. Sephiroth knew, if anything, that he was the aggressor. But the relationship of the friends was something Sephiroth had little grip on. There was a difference between love and love. Genesis had yet to explain it to him, leaving him to his own interpretations, but then it seemed that maybe Genesis himself could not comprehend it. Sephiroth also knew had little claim over the redhead, as it was always Genesis’ decision who he stayed with. Genesis was obstinately not property or land to be fought over, but he demanded the attention all the same.
Sephiroth sat down on the edge of the bed, staring at the half-empty, open wardrobe. “When was this?”
“Three days ago,”
Sephiroth winced, immediately understanding why his lover had acted out. He must have made a noise, as Angeal made a sound of question. “He must’ve rang me immediately after… and I wasn’t in the position for a conversation,”
“Oh Gods,” Angeal murmured. Sephiroth blinked slowly, lowering his gaze to the crimson carpet. He could not even begin to imagine what the redhead was feeling, only that it was not something constructive for the three of them. “We’ve stuffed up, Seph. Well, I did-”
The General sighed, immediately recognising where Angeal was heading - at least one of the two friends was predictable. “Take care of your student. I will go after Genesis.”
“Thanks, Seph. Tell him I am so sorry for-”
“Tell him yourself, Angeal,” Sephiroth said as he pushed himself back to his feet. “I will bring him back,” and hung up. It was slight inconvenience to travel across the world on a moment’s notice, but at least he was already packed.
Genesis was worth it though. He had given Sephiroth everything he had ever cherished. The General had once fulfilled his duties as SOLDIER because that was his duty, but he now had something to drive him on for the constant threat of competition and the need to protect something worth more to him than himself. Genesis had taught him love, and in return, he turned his back. But not twice.
--
The quiet in Banora was everything Midgar was not. Peaceful, pleasant and familiar, Genesis could sit under his apple tree and watch the world go by. His parents had not questioned his arrival, only offered him his childhood bedroom. No questions asked meant no excuses, and all the concentration he knew it would take to rebuild himself. He would start from the outside and work his way in, knowing how important it was to protect the foundations lest they be attacked.
He had had plenty of time to think. Though his temper had dulled, the anguish had not. Solitude was only emphasised by the landscape that he had once shared with his best friend. All the shady spots in orchards were they had played; memories of smiles and laughter and shared kisses. There was genuine emotion behind them. Angeal’s eyes were more honest than his own, and Genesis would never have allowed himself to believe in a mutual affection if he never saw it in the first place.
The twinge of pain as he thought was now born more from confusion than betrayal. Genesis had come to realise the difference in what Angeal said and how he had taken it. ‘In love’ was a whole different world to ‘love’. It was deeper, more consuming and exclusive. Genesis loved reading, writing and practising magic but he was not in love with them. The same way he was not in love with Angeal as he was Sephiroth. He noticed this when he realised that it was not the thought of Angeal taking a lover that saddened him. It was simply that Angeal had kept it a secret, or at least had not been honest from the start. Genesis would have eagerly encouraged Angeal to take a lover, if only he had known he was open to it.
In contrast, the redhead felt sick to his stomach with distress and rage at the very thought of Sephiroth even turning his attention from him for a second. ‘Love’ was caring, and Angeal did care, how he had tried to comfort his friend the moment he saw that mask break proved that. ‘In love’ was possession, and Genesis would readily give up any misguided claim he had over the dark-haired SOLDIER, if only he could understand why Angeal had given him up when they entered Shin-Ra.
Of course, the only way he would find that out was to speak to Angeal, but Genesis knew he was not ready for that yet. He did not wish to return to Midgar so soon. As much as not wanting to expose himself in a way he had not since he was a young child, he did not want to see Sephiroth. What had happened had flung things into prospective. Without Angeal, Genesis could not rely on the General. That was one shoulder Genesis could never cry on. He knew he could never bring himself to. Let alone if Sephiroth would even let him. If Angeal had someone else in his life now, Genesis would have to learn to stand on his own. Sephiroth was not one to offer any comfort - not knowing how, let alone when it was needed.
Footsteps on the path behind him went ignored. Villagers had been wandering to and fro all afternoon, never paying much attention to him. To them, he was not one of SOLDIER’s triumvirate, just the mischievous son of the mayor who moved away and made a name for himself. Those steps came closer yet, and Genesis heard the all-too-familiar swish of a leather coat around long legs. He did not turn, not wanting to expose his surprise to the new arrival. Sephiroth settled to sit against the tree to his left.
No words were spoken for a while, making Genesis succumb to his curiosity and turn his head enough to just see the other staring out across the village. His expression was as regal as it ever had been, but it was warm, gentle and domestic. Genesis was so focused on it that he did not notice Sephiroth move until he felt a onyx leather hand clasp around his own. The glove was warm against his bare flesh, soft, but no where near as much as the skin it covered. The redhead looked down at their hands for a moment before intertwining their fingers.
Silence was comfortable and yet begged for words. Whilst Genesis was grateful for it, he was astonished with Sephiroth’s very presence. He wanted answers, an explanation, and words of support that would not be easy to come. But the simple contact of their hands was strangely enough. Perhaps Sephiroth was still learning emotion, and things would improve with a little time. Genesis took that hope, using it as mortar to piece bits back into place. He smiled a little, looking at his lover in profile. Sephiroth clenched his fingers, parting his lips enough to wet them.
“I am sorry, Genesis,” he said finally. His voice was quiet but strong. “I’m sorry I wasn’t there when you needed someone,”
Sighing, Genesis drew his right leg up to his chest and slung his arm over that bent knee. The change in position relieved some of the pressure from the tree trunk he leant against. The bark was rough against his back through the thin material of his dress shirt. “You were on assignment, Sephi-”
“It shouldn’t matter,” Sephiroth shook his head slowly. His hair rippled, catching the sunlight like waves on the ocean. “I should not let my duty come before you,”
Genesis chuckled, “We’re SOLDIER, there’s nothing we can do about that,”
“I’d rather face a court martial than come home to find you’ve hidden yourself away,”
The redhead’s lips twisted downwards and he stared at his lap. That weak part of him almost had an apology slipping from his lips before the creature he had created demanded why he should be sorry. He had done nothing wrong, simply gave rise to a panic that he had not anticipated, believing that Sephiroth would not care. He knew he was incorrect now. “Just how much trouble am I in?”
Sephiroth’s hand tightened again, but Genesis heard him smile. “Let’s just say you owe Director Lazard a favour or two.”
“Something a case of reserve wine could fix?” Genesis glanced up, not shying away when the other turned to him. He did, however, notice a flicker to Sephiroth’s green eyes that he had not seen before, a mixture of confusion, concern and surprise. Genesis knew why: he had never been laid-open to his lover before.
Sephiroth’s hand cupped around his chin, treating him with all the care with which one handled a crystal vase. Genesis blinked slowly, as Sephiroth pressed against his lips. The kiss was just as gentle, chaste and calming.
“Thank you,” Sephiroth replied in a whisper and Genesis frowned. “For letting me see you like this,”
Blinking, Genesis felt confidence breathe inside him again. He was used to feeling its return, but only in the company of Angeal. But it felt nice to know that Sephiroth could do it too, now. Whether or not it would still work when the SOLDIER was the root of a problem in future, Genesis did not know. He did not need to think about it just yet. “Don’t get used to it,” he smirked and chuckled as Sephiroth’s smile increased tenfold.
“Of course,” he murmured and Genesis allowed himself to be pulled closer to that larger body; picking himself up just enough to sit on Sephiroth’s lap. He did not feel vulnerable wrapped in black leather arms - just cherished, knowing that there was someone to protect him as he worked to protect himself. Then, when that was complete, he could push the barrier away, freely gaining independence until he needed that support again. He could still enjoy it even if it was not needed in such a way, though.
Genesis smiled again as Sephiroth nuzzled into his hair, inhaling deeply. “So, you’re here to take me back to Midgar?”
“Not if you’re not ready. Although, I believe it would be best if you spoke to Angeal as soon as possible. He loves you very much, Songbird,”
Sighing, Genesis rested his head back on Sephiroth’s shoulder. The metal of the pauldron was hot from the Banora sunshine, but pleasant. “I know. I overreacted. I was in shock. But that doesn’t change the fact he didn’t tell me. He’s my best friend: he’s supposed to tell me everything,”
“Do you tell him everything?”
“Yes,” the scarlet SOLDIER replied immediately. He fiddled with the sleeve of his shirt, unrolling it and then rolling it back up to his elbow again. “Half of it he doesn’t want to hear, but he hears it regardless,” he grinned as Sephiroth scoffed.
“Do you want to lose that friendship?”
Genesis did not reply, because he did not see the need. It was a question that did not even need stating, but Sephiroth did so just to get the ball rolling.
I love him.
The redhead smirked, nestling back into the warmth of his lover’s body. “I’m sure we can give them at least one more day of peace before I demand to be briefed on everything I missed,”
“Call him later, just so he can enjoy that day, rather than worry about you,”
“Of course,” Genesis muttered. “We’ll stay here for a little while longer,”
“As long as you want, Songbird,”
A wistful smile tugged at the corners of Genesis’ lips and he closed his eyes. “If I was to say that I was in love with you, Seph, what would you say?”
Sephiroth chuckled lightly, sounding like a purr rumbling in his chest. “I would say that I’m the luckiest man on Gaia,” and his arms squeezed Genesis tighter around the waist. “And then I would say that I’m in love with you too,”
“There is a difference, you know?”
“I know,” Sephiroth replied. “I love those apple turnovers you make, but that doesn’t mean I would want to spend my life without anything but them. Nor would I want to wake up beside them every day. Nor would I want-”
“Point taken, Moonbeam,” the redhead said. He was taken aback by the fact that Sephiroth obviously had a grip on the difference when he had only just grasped it. Perhaps he was underestimating his lover’s intelligence - always a bad idea.
Genesis turned his head to press a kiss to Sephiroth’s neck, feeling more happiness than he believed he even had a right to. He was too lucky in life, having a perfect lover and best friend; no longer needing to feel guilty over the former because Angeal had, too, found happiness.
Forgiveness for Angeal’s misgivings would come easy, because that was what ‘love’ was. Genesis understood it now.
Pairing: Sephiroth/Genesis, Angeal/Genesis, Angeal/Zack.
Rating: PG-13
Genre: Hurt/Comfort.
Wordcount: 4,769
Warnings: Emotional maelstrom!
Synopsis: We do things we don’t mean, but that doesn’t make it any easier on the ones we injure.
AN: Totally random idea whilst cleaning my fishtank.
“Legend shall speak, of sacrifice at world's end. The wind sails over the water's surface,
Quietly, but surely,” Genesis sighed and snapped his book shut without even turning the page to find another, devoid of printed worlds. Over the years he had been reading from that edition of LOVELESS, he had jotted down various theories and interpretations on the back few blank pages. He was not in the mood for contemplation or debating with himself, so he simply placed the book on the table.
The lack of distraction was worse than distracting: it was driving him out of his mind. He could hear the gentle, rhythmic click of his antique-style clock down the hall in his bedroom, and the hum of electricity in the walls. The sounds were ones he knew well; he could usually ignore them, but without another’s soft breathing and the scratch of pen on paper, they quickly grew annoying.
In the hope of anything, Genesis reached for his phone and flipped it open. No messages, no new calls and unread one email. It was from the City Planning Office so he immediately deleted it with a sneer and no interest. With another loud exhale, the SOLDIER stuffed the device into its pocket inside his coat.
At least, of all the sounds he was hearing not one of them with the scurrying of insects. A smile tugged at the corners of his lips, remembering earlier days in Midgar, after his best friend had received permission to keep potted plants in their dorm. The promotion to First Class and the private apartment that came with it was a Goddess-send. He remembered that Angeal had bought him his very own plant as a home-warming gift. That was quickly given to Director Lazard on pretence as a thanks for his signature on the promotion paperwork.
Genesis paused, sitting up straight on the sofa. He had heard a few mutters in the cafeteria at lunch that his best friend had returned from an assignment, but dismissed them as false because he had not been contacted by the younger SOLDIER to say that he was home. But it was one loose string that would occupy the redhead for all of five minutes.
He knew it was a waste of his time, as Angeal always called him the moment he set foot in the city limits. It was a silly habit they got into as Cadets, keeping a tab on each other as classes and mundane duties made it hard to keep up to date. They might have stayed in the same room together, but they rarely slept in it at the same time. And they had not slept together since before they entered SOLDIER.
Frowning, Genesis opened his front door and strolled down the corridor. SOLDIER had amplified all the virtues of his dark-haired friend, and that was his reason for the seemingly permanent block on their sexual relationship. How their relationship was dishonourable now, as it had never been in Banora, Genesis did not understand. He had tried to undermine Angeal many times, but the man was adamant. It had been difficult at start, but after a few months, Genesis had another target to chase, finding the prize surprisingly fulfilling.
Sephiroth had been glad to possess everything Angeal had discarded; becoming something much more and yet completely different. Genesis might have lost and gained a new lover, but he had kept his best friend, and that was all he really needed from Angeal. Although, he would not say no if Angeal decided to drop his morals for an hour or two.
He knocked twice on Angeal’s door. It was exactly the same as the others along the long corridor. The wooden façade over the metal gave each one a much more homely feel, whilst the staunchly spotless carpet and occasional artificial plant felt much more like a hotel. No one answered, unsurprisingly, and Genesis was just about to wander back up to his apartment when he heard a quiet giggle come from inside. The doors were all soundproofed, and he only heard it due to the silence around him.
The sound itself was far too childish for Angeal; most definitely that of the SOLDIER’s latest student, which erased some of the shock. Immediately, curiosity seized Genesis as to why the teenager would be in Angeal’s apartment whilst he was away. Then, why he would be giggling? For the sake of his friend, Genesis had to make sure he was not doing anything untoward.
Genesis scanned his keycard on the panel beside the door; opening it and sliding in with feline stealth and grace. Zack giggled again, much louder this time. Genesis pinpointed the origin to the bedroom. His eyebrows furrowed deeply. If Zack was amusing himself in Angeal’s bedroom, he had no idea just how much trouble that would get him into with his mentor. Genesis was already contemplating ideas of blackmail, or at least leverage.
“Fair?” the redhead called out, trying to hide the smirk that was plain on his face, and succeeded only a little.
His response was a scrabble of noise, and then a near silent “Oh, damn,” that was certainly not from the teenager. Genesis froze mid step, eyes wide for a moment before they narrowed. His feet carried him quicker than before to the bedroom door. It was slightly ajar, and he shoved it hard; ignoring the bang of it meeting the wall. His bright blue eyes narrowed further, hardening to the crystal they shared colour with.
Inside, Zack was on his back on the mattress and Angeal was quite happily nestled between his legs. Though they both wore underwear, it was quite clear that had Genesis been a few minutes later, it would have been a different story. The redhead’s lips pulled tight. Angeal withdrew from his mentee. There was no anger in his sapphire eyes, simply panic, embarrassment and apprehension. Genesis could see all the gears turning in Angeal’s head; how the man was trying to find the best way - quickly - as possible to defuse the situation. Let the man try!
“Gene-”
“What happened to your honour?” he spat. Hands balled tightly and the young Third Class shrunk back as one scarlet fist began to glow dimly.
“Genesis, I was going to tell you-”
“Tell me what?!” he shouted. It had been a while since he felt something like this, and almost exclusively, it was Sephiroth who made him feel it. “that you’d far rather had him than me?” his voice faltered for a second, betraying that the foundation of his fury was nothing but hurt. Betrayal, was the one word that reverberated in his head. No thoughts, no rational explanation, but that one word.
“It’s not like that, Gen-” Angeal spoke softly, as if it would help his cause.
Shaking his head sharply, Genesis averted his gaze to the floor. He clenched his jaw, speaking through gritted teeth. “What makes him better than me? How long since you changed your mind?!”
Before Angeal could spout something else, the scarlet SOLDIER was back glaring at the two of them. “You’d rather fuck something young and fresh? Is that it?”
Both of the dark-haired SOLDIER’s eyes widened. But Angeal’s lips twisted, trying to keep a straight line and still tongue.
“How many of your other students have you fucked, Angeal?”
“Genesis!” finally, Angeal snapped. He yanked himself away from Zack completely, rising to his feet, but not approaching the simmering redhead. There was still the threat of Fire that would surely be cast if Genesis felt cornered for a moment.
“I have a right to know, Angeal. A right to know how long my best friend,” the word couldn’t have been said with more venom. It was sharper than a hit from his sword, he knew. He intended it so and relished in the flash of pain across the other’s features. “has been fucking lying to me,”
The other shouted in his defence. “Genesis, Zack’s the first… you’ve been wi-” the look that passed just behind those dark blue eyes told Genesis that he was restraining himself from spreading out the redhead’s dirty laundry for Zack to hear. It was well-known that the young SOLDIER had a loose tongue.
“Why would you give up your honour for that?” Genesis gestured to the petrified boy as if he was nothing but a broken piece of furniture.
“I’m in love with him!”
The words stole the fire right out from Genesis, and with it went everything he was. Blue eyes stared blankly, lips parted slightly for a few moments before he recoiled slowly. He blinked twice, unable to look at anything other than the floor, littered with two SOLDIER uniforms. “Oh, I see,”
“Genesis,” Angeal said softly and Genesis heard his footsteps approach. The second those feet entered his line of sight, the scarlet SOLDIER snapped back into animation and fled the apartment, slamming the door shut behind him.
As there were cameras in the corridor, Angeal would not rush out in his underwear and with an obvious erection. As it was, anyone watching would be astonished enough to see Genesis furiously wiping his eyes with the back of his glove.
So, Angeal had given up that ruse of honour for Zack out of love. He had built it originally out of a lack of that feeling for Genesis; an excuse to give him up. Suddenly, years of Genesis’ life were torn asunder. Pleasant memories lay on the ground, trampled and ruined. He had given himself to his younger friend out of a genuine emotion that he thought was reciprocated. Genesis could not decide whether it hurt more because he had found out that it had meant nothing, or that he had been fool enough to believe it ever had. To be betrayed by the one he trusted the most, the SOLDIER was not sure he meant anything to anyone anymore.
Blindly, he pushed himself away from the wall and hurried down the corridor to the lift. He was spared company all the way up to the roof. The helicopter pad was vacant and a wind blew harshly. It was cold and tore through Genesis’ copper hair, concealing his face and the broken expression on it. There was only so much a mask could cover, and with nothing underneath, it caved in completely.
He walked towards the high railing that ran along the edge of the Shin-Ra building. The view was as always spectacular and he could see the specs of the city dwellers ambling about their lives. They were all worthless, but not possessed by delusions of grandeur. They knew their place in life and they always had. Genesis envied them.
Letting out a shaky breath, he reached into his coat and found his phone again. He dialled a number from memory, slightly surprised he even could. There was only one hesitation as his instinct, when seized by pain and anguish, nearly called Angeal. But the phone recognised the number and confirmed that he had not.
After a few moments, the receiver finally picked up. “Hello?” Sephiroth’s deep voice rumbled into Genesis’ ear and he forced a smile.
“Hey, Moonbeam,” he was glad that it managed to seep into his voice. It wasn’t enough to be convincing, but Sephiroth was still not as in tune with Genesis emotions as he could have been. But then again, Sephiroth had never seen nor heard Genesis feeling how he did. That was Angeal alone, simply because he thought the man cared. Wrong again. “How are you doing?”
“It’s Modeoheim,” was all the General replied. It was all he had to say, not only being a master of every aspect of minimalism, but also because Genesis knew very well what the place was like. Desolate, cold and a breeding ground for monsters. “How are you?”
“I’m good,” he lied, pushing more of that smile into words. “Bored out of my mind,”
“I’m sure LOVELESS fills the void I left.”
The redhead made a quiet noise of understanding, turning to rest his back against the railing. “I miss you,”
Sephiroth only hummed, already sounding distant. “I shouldn’t be much longer,”
“Seph,” Genesis bit his lip, hardly believing that he - no matter how injured and upset - was going to request for his lover’s company. He either took it, or remained the loyal SOLDIER and waited until duties were concluded. To ask was a weakness. “Do you think you cou-”
The General interrupted him with another hum, “Genesis, can I call you back later? I am busy at the moment,”
The redhead swallowed a new lump in his throat, though it just felt like the same one he had before, only doubled in size. “Oh, certainly,” he said flatly, but Sephiroth didn’t pick up on it. “I’ll talk to you later then,”
“Yes,” was all he got before the bleep of the call terminating.
Genesis slowly lowered the phone and left his arm hanging limply at his side. He did not feel the cold so much anymore. He did not care that he could not see anything through the flame-like strands of his hair. At least its vibrant colour still held life. He supposed he still looked the same, which meant he could perhaps heal his wounds, somehow. Though there was no one left to help him pick up the shattered pieces that lay behind that cracked façade. For the first time, he was alone. But he was smart enough and driven enough by a need to appear flawless, unharmed and strong in the eyes of the ones that had wounded him that he knew, at least, how to start.
--
“Genesis?” Sephiroth called out the moment he entered the redhead’s apartment. He dropped his rucksack in the alcove beside the door before continuing in. All the lights were off; boots missing. The thought that the SOLDIER was just elsewhere in the building contented Sephiroth enough that he wandered on to the bedroom to change out of his uniform.
As he walked through the main living area, he noticed how the bookcase beside the window was missing quite a few books. Sephiroth frowned. Genesis could not carry that much on his person, and he was meticulous about where he kept his books… and he wasn’t the type to lend them out. The General checked the bedroom, likewise finding clothes missing and all the other things Genesis’ used daily.
Confused, he fished out his phone and rung the first number that came to him. As soon as it stopped ringing, he said sharply, “Angeal, where’s Genesis?”
“Gen-he hasn’t spoken to you?”
“Not for a few days. Has he been put on assignment?” there was a little surprise that echoed in his head. The redhead would almost always ring him or at least leave a note, lest a situation like this arose. The hesitation in Angeal’s reply confused Sephiroth further. “What’s happened?”
“He’s gone to Banora-officially he’s on leave, only because Lazard wanted to avoid a court martial,”
“He went AWOL,” the younger SOLDIER muttered needlessly. It wasn’t like him to treat words so frivolously, but it was just as much not like Genesis to endanger his position as SOLDIER. “What happened?”
Angeal groaned - a sign of guilt even Sephiroth understood. “We fought. I said something… and he took it wrong way,”
Fights between the friends were rare, but it still was not like Genesis to vanish. “What?”
Another groan, “I kind of-he thinks that I don’t love him,”
Sephiroth didn’t react to the proclamation of feeling for the one that he, too, loved. Angeal was no threat. He never had been. Sephiroth knew, if anything, that he was the aggressor. But the relationship of the friends was something Sephiroth had little grip on. There was a difference between love and love. Genesis had yet to explain it to him, leaving him to his own interpretations, but then it seemed that maybe Genesis himself could not comprehend it. Sephiroth also knew had little claim over the redhead, as it was always Genesis’ decision who he stayed with. Genesis was obstinately not property or land to be fought over, but he demanded the attention all the same.
Sephiroth sat down on the edge of the bed, staring at the half-empty, open wardrobe. “When was this?”
“Three days ago,”
Sephiroth winced, immediately understanding why his lover had acted out. He must have made a noise, as Angeal made a sound of question. “He must’ve rang me immediately after… and I wasn’t in the position for a conversation,”
“Oh Gods,” Angeal murmured. Sephiroth blinked slowly, lowering his gaze to the crimson carpet. He could not even begin to imagine what the redhead was feeling, only that it was not something constructive for the three of them. “We’ve stuffed up, Seph. Well, I did-”
The General sighed, immediately recognising where Angeal was heading - at least one of the two friends was predictable. “Take care of your student. I will go after Genesis.”
“Thanks, Seph. Tell him I am so sorry for-”
“Tell him yourself, Angeal,” Sephiroth said as he pushed himself back to his feet. “I will bring him back,” and hung up. It was slight inconvenience to travel across the world on a moment’s notice, but at least he was already packed.
Genesis was worth it though. He had given Sephiroth everything he had ever cherished. The General had once fulfilled his duties as SOLDIER because that was his duty, but he now had something to drive him on for the constant threat of competition and the need to protect something worth more to him than himself. Genesis had taught him love, and in return, he turned his back. But not twice.
--
The quiet in Banora was everything Midgar was not. Peaceful, pleasant and familiar, Genesis could sit under his apple tree and watch the world go by. His parents had not questioned his arrival, only offered him his childhood bedroom. No questions asked meant no excuses, and all the concentration he knew it would take to rebuild himself. He would start from the outside and work his way in, knowing how important it was to protect the foundations lest they be attacked.
He had had plenty of time to think. Though his temper had dulled, the anguish had not. Solitude was only emphasised by the landscape that he had once shared with his best friend. All the shady spots in orchards were they had played; memories of smiles and laughter and shared kisses. There was genuine emotion behind them. Angeal’s eyes were more honest than his own, and Genesis would never have allowed himself to believe in a mutual affection if he never saw it in the first place.
The twinge of pain as he thought was now born more from confusion than betrayal. Genesis had come to realise the difference in what Angeal said and how he had taken it. ‘In love’ was a whole different world to ‘love’. It was deeper, more consuming and exclusive. Genesis loved reading, writing and practising magic but he was not in love with them. The same way he was not in love with Angeal as he was Sephiroth. He noticed this when he realised that it was not the thought of Angeal taking a lover that saddened him. It was simply that Angeal had kept it a secret, or at least had not been honest from the start. Genesis would have eagerly encouraged Angeal to take a lover, if only he had known he was open to it.
In contrast, the redhead felt sick to his stomach with distress and rage at the very thought of Sephiroth even turning his attention from him for a second. ‘Love’ was caring, and Angeal did care, how he had tried to comfort his friend the moment he saw that mask break proved that. ‘In love’ was possession, and Genesis would readily give up any misguided claim he had over the dark-haired SOLDIER, if only he could understand why Angeal had given him up when they entered Shin-Ra.
Of course, the only way he would find that out was to speak to Angeal, but Genesis knew he was not ready for that yet. He did not wish to return to Midgar so soon. As much as not wanting to expose himself in a way he had not since he was a young child, he did not want to see Sephiroth. What had happened had flung things into prospective. Without Angeal, Genesis could not rely on the General. That was one shoulder Genesis could never cry on. He knew he could never bring himself to. Let alone if Sephiroth would even let him. If Angeal had someone else in his life now, Genesis would have to learn to stand on his own. Sephiroth was not one to offer any comfort - not knowing how, let alone when it was needed.
Footsteps on the path behind him went ignored. Villagers had been wandering to and fro all afternoon, never paying much attention to him. To them, he was not one of SOLDIER’s triumvirate, just the mischievous son of the mayor who moved away and made a name for himself. Those steps came closer yet, and Genesis heard the all-too-familiar swish of a leather coat around long legs. He did not turn, not wanting to expose his surprise to the new arrival. Sephiroth settled to sit against the tree to his left.
No words were spoken for a while, making Genesis succumb to his curiosity and turn his head enough to just see the other staring out across the village. His expression was as regal as it ever had been, but it was warm, gentle and domestic. Genesis was so focused on it that he did not notice Sephiroth move until he felt a onyx leather hand clasp around his own. The glove was warm against his bare flesh, soft, but no where near as much as the skin it covered. The redhead looked down at their hands for a moment before intertwining their fingers.
Silence was comfortable and yet begged for words. Whilst Genesis was grateful for it, he was astonished with Sephiroth’s very presence. He wanted answers, an explanation, and words of support that would not be easy to come. But the simple contact of their hands was strangely enough. Perhaps Sephiroth was still learning emotion, and things would improve with a little time. Genesis took that hope, using it as mortar to piece bits back into place. He smiled a little, looking at his lover in profile. Sephiroth clenched his fingers, parting his lips enough to wet them.
“I am sorry, Genesis,” he said finally. His voice was quiet but strong. “I’m sorry I wasn’t there when you needed someone,”
Sighing, Genesis drew his right leg up to his chest and slung his arm over that bent knee. The change in position relieved some of the pressure from the tree trunk he leant against. The bark was rough against his back through the thin material of his dress shirt. “You were on assignment, Sephi-”
“It shouldn’t matter,” Sephiroth shook his head slowly. His hair rippled, catching the sunlight like waves on the ocean. “I should not let my duty come before you,”
Genesis chuckled, “We’re SOLDIER, there’s nothing we can do about that,”
“I’d rather face a court martial than come home to find you’ve hidden yourself away,”
The redhead’s lips twisted downwards and he stared at his lap. That weak part of him almost had an apology slipping from his lips before the creature he had created demanded why he should be sorry. He had done nothing wrong, simply gave rise to a panic that he had not anticipated, believing that Sephiroth would not care. He knew he was incorrect now. “Just how much trouble am I in?”
Sephiroth’s hand tightened again, but Genesis heard him smile. “Let’s just say you owe Director Lazard a favour or two.”
“Something a case of reserve wine could fix?” Genesis glanced up, not shying away when the other turned to him. He did, however, notice a flicker to Sephiroth’s green eyes that he had not seen before, a mixture of confusion, concern and surprise. Genesis knew why: he had never been laid-open to his lover before.
Sephiroth’s hand cupped around his chin, treating him with all the care with which one handled a crystal vase. Genesis blinked slowly, as Sephiroth pressed against his lips. The kiss was just as gentle, chaste and calming.
“Thank you,” Sephiroth replied in a whisper and Genesis frowned. “For letting me see you like this,”
Blinking, Genesis felt confidence breathe inside him again. He was used to feeling its return, but only in the company of Angeal. But it felt nice to know that Sephiroth could do it too, now. Whether or not it would still work when the SOLDIER was the root of a problem in future, Genesis did not know. He did not need to think about it just yet. “Don’t get used to it,” he smirked and chuckled as Sephiroth’s smile increased tenfold.
“Of course,” he murmured and Genesis allowed himself to be pulled closer to that larger body; picking himself up just enough to sit on Sephiroth’s lap. He did not feel vulnerable wrapped in black leather arms - just cherished, knowing that there was someone to protect him as he worked to protect himself. Then, when that was complete, he could push the barrier away, freely gaining independence until he needed that support again. He could still enjoy it even if it was not needed in such a way, though.
Genesis smiled again as Sephiroth nuzzled into his hair, inhaling deeply. “So, you’re here to take me back to Midgar?”
“Not if you’re not ready. Although, I believe it would be best if you spoke to Angeal as soon as possible. He loves you very much, Songbird,”
Sighing, Genesis rested his head back on Sephiroth’s shoulder. The metal of the pauldron was hot from the Banora sunshine, but pleasant. “I know. I overreacted. I was in shock. But that doesn’t change the fact he didn’t tell me. He’s my best friend: he’s supposed to tell me everything,”
“Do you tell him everything?”
“Yes,” the scarlet SOLDIER replied immediately. He fiddled with the sleeve of his shirt, unrolling it and then rolling it back up to his elbow again. “Half of it he doesn’t want to hear, but he hears it regardless,” he grinned as Sephiroth scoffed.
“Do you want to lose that friendship?”
Genesis did not reply, because he did not see the need. It was a question that did not even need stating, but Sephiroth did so just to get the ball rolling.
I love him.
The redhead smirked, nestling back into the warmth of his lover’s body. “I’m sure we can give them at least one more day of peace before I demand to be briefed on everything I missed,”
“Call him later, just so he can enjoy that day, rather than worry about you,”
“Of course,” Genesis muttered. “We’ll stay here for a little while longer,”
“As long as you want, Songbird,”
A wistful smile tugged at the corners of Genesis’ lips and he closed his eyes. “If I was to say that I was in love with you, Seph, what would you say?”
Sephiroth chuckled lightly, sounding like a purr rumbling in his chest. “I would say that I’m the luckiest man on Gaia,” and his arms squeezed Genesis tighter around the waist. “And then I would say that I’m in love with you too,”
“There is a difference, you know?”
“I know,” Sephiroth replied. “I love those apple turnovers you make, but that doesn’t mean I would want to spend my life without anything but them. Nor would I want to wake up beside them every day. Nor would I want-”
“Point taken, Moonbeam,” the redhead said. He was taken aback by the fact that Sephiroth obviously had a grip on the difference when he had only just grasped it. Perhaps he was underestimating his lover’s intelligence - always a bad idea.
Genesis turned his head to press a kiss to Sephiroth’s neck, feeling more happiness than he believed he even had a right to. He was too lucky in life, having a perfect lover and best friend; no longer needing to feel guilty over the former because Angeal had, too, found happiness.
Forgiveness for Angeal’s misgivings would come easy, because that was what ‘love’ was. Genesis understood it now.