[Fic] With A Little Faith - Chapter XI [Siwon/Heechul]
Title: With A Little Faith
Genre: Supernatural Romance
Rating: PG-13
Chapter: 11 / ?
Wordcount: 3,002
Pairing: Siwon/Heechul
Warnings: Established character death, possibly offensive use/view of Religion? Swearing.
Synopsis: After death, Heechul is given the chance to experience something he never got the chance to in life. But he never expected it to be so hard.
AN: I promised the 15th, I deliver on the 14th. LOVE ME.
Previous Chapters
Chapter I Chapter II Chapter III Chapter IV Chapter V Chapter VI Chapter VII Chapter VIII Chapter IX Chapter X
“Hey Siwon-ah,” Kangin popped his head through the gap he had opened the door to.
Siwon glanced up at the elder singer before sliding his bookmark between the pages he was reading and turned fully. “Yes, hyung?”
“We’re gonna go out drinking… would you like to join us?”
In the past, Siwon had usually declined such invitations, deeming drinking as something unchristian, but the courtesy was still expended on him just so he felt included. And when he did accept, it was usually just to keep an eye on his rowdy hyungs, or to end up as the designated driver.
Pausing for a moment, Siwon subtly cast a glimpse up at Heechul as he was perched on the edge of the bed, absently preening his nails because it was silent and Kibum was entertaining himself on the opposite side of the room. They youngest’s attention though, had been caught immediately at the very thought of alcohol.
Heechul shrugged that he did not mind what Siwon chose to do, so with a light-hearted grin, Siwon accepted.
“Great!” Kangin smiled, though his eyes revealed the surprise and confusion he hid well. But Heechul knew him well enough to guess that the thoughts in that head were reflecting on how Siwon’s mood had fluctuated greatly from how he had apparently been only a few days previously.
“We’re heading out in half an hour, so be ready!”
Both Siwon and Heechul watched Kangin leave, and kept their eyes on the open doorway, expecting another messenger, but when there was none, they returned to their previous activities.
Sighing, Heechul laid back on the mattress and stared up at the ceiling. He felt Siwon look at him briefly, and heard a little smirk on those lips. Over three days, his dongsaeng had learned how to react and not react to Heechul’s presence around the public and other members.
Often it felt like he was being ignored, when the eleven of them were in a playful squabble or planning their future as Super Junior, but that was just something that Heechul had to grow used to. A few times he could not hack it, so he left, which left Siwon in a state of panic because he could not understand why he had gone; how long he would be or if he would ever be coming back.
After the third or fourth time though, they both got used to it and fell into a strange kind of routine. The only thing Heechul still struggled with, and the problem promised to persist, was the one-sided conversations. He loved talking and interacting, and that one simple pleasure was being denied to him. But still, it was much better than sitting around in Heaven doing nothing.
Just as much, it was not fair to keep expecting Siwon to pull himself away from his friends, just to spend time with his hyung so he would not be lonely. The whole point of Heechul’s mission, after all, was to assure that Siwon lived his life, which was not something he could really do if he would be hanging out with the dead all day.
“I hope you’re not going drinking to go drinking, Siwonnie. That’s not what nice Christian boys do now, is it?” Heechul chuckled as he noticed an eyebrow twitch and Siwon’s knuckles pale against the hard-back cover of his book.
“Besides,” he continued, poking Siwon in the back as it was all he could reach easily. “God would not be impressed if I allowed you to go and destroy your liver! That would just be a waste of my time and effort! I know I was tasked to help you find God, but I’m pretty sure he didn’t mean through a premature death!”
Siwon sighed and ran his hand through his hair in exasperation.
“Hyung? Are you okay?” Kibum asked quietly from his bed, frowning behind his glasses.
“Huh? Oh, yeah-”
“Yah! Kibum-ah, get in here! You have to see this! This clown has to be seen to be believed!” Kyuhyun’s voice travelled through the dorm and into the bedroom. The maniacal laughter in his voice betraying his current activities.
Groaning as he pulled himself to his feet, Kibum excused himself and ambled out of the room. Siwon stood as if to follow, but pushed the door shut and turned to Heechul, scowling.
“Honestly,” Heechul sighed, nestling comfortably into Siwon’s pillows. They smelt of the man and his expensive cologne and it was rather quite calming. “After what happened to me, you’d think that kid would get out and live the life he’s got whilst he’s still got it.”
“Hyung, please, must we talk of death?”
Propping himself up on his elbows, the elder watched as Siwon sat by his feet. Sadness echoed in his chocolate eyes and Heechul sat up completely and grabbed his hands. His injured hand was now free of its bindings, but still tender to the touch, so Heechul was conscious to be gentle.
“Siwonnie, you know that tonight is meant in my honour, right? I mean, you go back to dance practice the day after tomorrow. They’re gonna talk about me and-”
“I don’t want to talk about that, hyung.”
Blinking slowly, Heechul shuffled closer until he could pull Siwon into an embrace. Siwon’s head found its way onto his shoulder; his hot breath washed onto his neck and collarbone, causing the skin to prickle. “They have to, Siwon-ah. You know how they’ve had to bottle everything up for you sake, and now you’re doing better… let them get me out of their systems,”
Siwon moved closer, breathing deeply a few times before strong arms wrapped around Heechul’s waist and tightened the hug softly. “Super Junior won’t be the same without you, Heenim. I don’t want to be made to think it will,”
Lips brushed against the sensitive flesh of Heechul’s neck and as shudders ran down his spine, his first instinct was the roll his head to the opposite side. But Heechul caught the sigh that threatened to escape in his throat and frowning deeply, he tried to move away, but Siwon refused to allow him.
He tried to laugh away the awkwardness that only he seemed to be feeling. Patting Siwon brotherly on the back, he said, “Whoever said something like that? Beat them for me, Horse! It was Sungmin, wasn’t it? He’s always wanted to steal my spot as the flowerboy princess! Do not let him!”
“You’ll always be my princess,” Siwon whispered. Heechul felt his lips purse, so close to his skin… but then the younger sighed and pulled away completely.
“Will you be coming along too?”
“I… I don’t think so.
“Have fun, Siwon-ah. You really deserve it. Just, respect your body? We can’t be having these gorgeous things,” he placed his hand flat against Siwon’s hard abdomen and rubbed slightly to feel the defined ridges of muscle. Siwon blushed petal-red and smiled shyly. Heechul grinned and pressed a little harder. They felt so good! “lost to a beer belly, okay?”
“Okay, hyung. I’ll guard the sexy just for you!”
“There’s a good horse. Now, I want you to do a favour for me…”
Siwon looked at him in question, but did not miss the motion of Heechul removing his hand from his dongsaeng’s abs to its resting place on his lap. “Yes, hyung?”
“Those letters… well, that letter,” Heechul muttered. He suddenly found himself unable to look Siwon in the eyes, and instead focused on a pair of dirty socks that were left on the carpet by the window. “I want you to destroy it. And somewhere under my bed there should be a little metal box with a lock on it. Destroy that too. Promise me you’ll do this.”
Frowning, Siwon slowly nodded. “Would you like me to do it now, hyung?”
“No, no,” the elder waved his hand dismissively in the air. “Do it some time in the next few days. Tonight, you are just going to go out and have fun with our brothers. Okay? I trust you, so I won’t even check up on you!”
“Okay. Try to have fun without me, hyung!” Siwon leaned forwards quickly and kissed Heechul on the cheek as he had done so many times over the years. But Heechul blushed and when Siwon had vanished from the room, raised his hand to cover the still-tingling flesh.
As soon as his palm made contact, he turned towards it and stared, wide-eyed as if he had become a puppet and someone had seized his strings.
I don’t…. understand.
--
The dorm had always been a creepy place after dark and when empty. Perhaps it was just a strange feeling of being somewhere that looked, and by all means was, familiar, but felt completely different. Usually buzzing with life and creativity, silence and deep shadows had even Heechul sat in the living room, stiff with caution.
But it was not so much a fear of the unknown, but an extreme hatred of being alone that clawed through his mind. Whenever the group were split up for subgroup or individual promotions, Heechul always had Youngstreet or his friends to occupy his time. Now, there was just Siwon and he wondered what would happen when he completed his task.
Although he said Siwon that they would find out together in due time, it was ridiculous to believe that Heechul could angel-stalk Siwon for the rest of his life. How could the man go out and find a wife and start a family like the Christian dream that was installed into him as a child dictated when he was busy keeping up a friendship that caused little but distress and emotional confusion?
Confusion, because Heechul still felt his fingertips pressing against the very spot Siwon kissed, and because every time he tried to picture the future, the very thought of Siwon marrying felt like a kick in the teeth.
That was resentment, Heechul reasoned. He did not want to give up Siwon so the man could be cared after and protected by someone else. He had always done such an awful job of caring for his dongsaeng in life: forever squabbling and insulting and ignoring, and only allowing for affection and skin-ship on his terms; Heechul was adamant to make up for his past digressions.
Sighing, Heechul lowered his hand once again back own to his lap. It was stupid. Pathetic. Such feelings were transitory; sometimes intense, but always left some kind of mark. And he was not the man he once was. Opening himself up was like leaving the city gates open knowing that a neighbouring nation was eager to widen their borders.
Not that there was anything to open himself up to. Heechul crossed his arms tightly over his chest and pouted.
It was just the loneliness that was talking.
Just the loneliness, he said to himself again and pushed up from the sofa and ambled back to the bedroom was that now Siwon’s for the foreseeable future, until he reconciled with his family. Heechul all but collapsed in his dongsaeng’s bed, knowing that if he slept in heaven he would be likely to lose track of time and leave Siwon for perhaps a day, if not two. He was only half-conscious of the fact he was hugging the pillow before falling asleep.
--
Loud music pounded through the room and the floor shook to the beat of the eleven pairs of feet that stomped, jumped and landed in more or less perfect time. Even if just one faltered, the song was stopped and everyone turned to help the one that was struggling. Heechul had always been one of those few who were constantly missing steps or tripping and breaking the formation, but even without him, the process was still long and arduous.
From where he sat, back to the mirrors that formed the whole of one wall and sat beside the stereo to opposite side to the choreographer, he began to appreciate Super Junior in a way he had not really thought to before. A group of teens had been slung together; grown up together and blossomed into young men of different talents. There were dancers in the group, singers and actors. He could not think of another group that was like them.
He smiled, watching as Ryeowook stumbled again and knocked Kyuhyun in the ribs with his elbow as he tried to catch himself. The maknae grabbed his wrist and pulled him upright before smirking, but still caringly, checked if he was alight.
Super Junior was unique, not only in Korea, but the entire world. Heechul felt proud to know that he had been a part of it. And even though the group was continuing on performing and creating to new material, he was still apart of it, because, in everyone’s faces he could see the determination to keep Kim Heechul a part of the group.
He caught Siwon smiling at him. Just a subtle look that could easily pass as a glimpse at his own feet by the others if they were distracted from their own movement and that of the choreographer enough to notice. Heechul shook his head, playfully disapproving, but kept focus on Siwon nonetheless.
The man’s short dark hair was damp with sweat - they’d been dancing for at least two hours and only stopped for a few minutes at a time to stretch and rehydrate themselves. His white shirt clung to his body in all the right places and Heechul noticed only too late that he was staring. Siwon noticed moments beforehand and teasingly added extra rolling motions, subtle little thrusts that the choreographer picked up on and commended. The female fans would like that… Blushing, Heechul had to glance out of the window and hear a little voice in his head shamefully admit that he certainly did.
“Okay guys, that’s great! Take five and we’ll resume after the second chorus!” The choreographer cried, already halfway to the door, with a cigarette tight between his fingers.
Jungsu sighed and broke the formation by wandering over to the stereo and switching it off before turning back to the group. Heechul shuffled across the floor to avoid getting in the leader’s way, because those few times he had made ‘contact’ with everyone but Siwon in the dorms it just felt weird. An unpleasant kind of weird.
“Alright,” the sandy blonde clapped his hands and silently lead the group through a quick exercise to warm-down after the rehearsal before glancing at his watch. “Who’s up for some lunch?”
Everyone chimed in enthusiastically, though no one showed such eagerness in accompanying Jungsu, so the eldest picked a handful of dongsaengs and left Kangin in charge. Heechul settled back against the cold glass of the mirror and folded his arms over his knees. Eunhyuk settled in a corner by his own, dancing to a beat in his head; Kibum and Kyuhyun huddled up by the wall next to the window, muttering over what Heechul could only suppose was another mobile game. Some day, maybe after he was finished with Siwon, God might assign him to make sure those two found a life outside of the virtual.
With a quiet sigh, Heechul’s gaze returned to Siwon, who was still running over the last few steps of the dance. Still with his extra accents that had Heechul tilting his head to his shoulder using the collar of his jacket and his hair to hide the rose-tint to his cheeks.
From the new angle, he noticed how Sungmin was staring at Siwon, a little bemused but quite interested. Heechul frowned deeply, which in turn confused Siwon so the taller man spun in his little dance to meet the elder singer’s eyes.
“Hyung?”
Sungmin blinked and broke out into one of his entirely feigned innocent but cute smiles. “Yes, Siwon-ah?”
“You okay?”
“Oh,” Sungmin coyly averted his gaze to the floor, “I was just…liking your dancing,”
Heechul watched as Siwon walked closer and titled his head in the sexy way he did when he was up to no good. His eyes narrowed, but he continued watching even as Siwon’s hands reached out and took a hold of the smaller man’s waist.
“Wanna dance?” Siwon drew his hips flush to Sungmin’s and over Siwon’s shoulder, Heechul could see the brunette’s blush, but he was smiling.
Slim arms wound around Siwon’s body loosely and to pair started to move to their own rhythm; a beat that grew in intensity as they moved around each other but never lost contact for more than a second.
Heechul glared at them, more than he watched. His jaw clenched tightly and he absently noticed that the four others in the room had all stopped what they were doing to stare in distaste.
But it was only when Siwon’s mouth hung dangerously close to Sungmin’s parted lips that Kangin finally pushed himself away from the window and spoke up. “Yah! No baby-making on my watch!”
Sungmin blushed again, but Siwon just smirked, pulling the shorter man than little bit closer and leaning down to press a kiss to his cheek. The sight flashed memories of how Siwon had done the same to him only two nights previously.
Heechul felt mocked. Skin burning and fists clench. He growled out loud, heaving himself to his feet and stormed out of the open doorway. His back fell heavily against the wall in the corridor. He let out a heavy breath, but when he opened his eyes - he could not remember closing them - his vision was blurred.
He stood still, as if waiting, for a few moments, or minutes. Waiting for Siwon to come out and see what was the matter? The man did not. Heechul bit his tongue and cast a side-glance to the doorway, feeling a maelstrom of emotions that twisted painfully in his head, stomach and heart. But he managed to do something that he might not have during life - he walked away.
Chapter XII
Genre: Supernatural Romance
Rating: PG-13
Chapter: 11 / ?
Wordcount: 3,002
Pairing: Siwon/Heechul
Warnings: Established character death, possibly offensive use/view of Religion? Swearing.
Synopsis: After death, Heechul is given the chance to experience something he never got the chance to in life. But he never expected it to be so hard.
AN: I promised the 15th, I deliver on the 14th. LOVE ME.
Previous Chapters
Chapter I Chapter II Chapter III Chapter IV Chapter V Chapter VI Chapter VII Chapter VIII Chapter IX Chapter X
“Hey Siwon-ah,” Kangin popped his head through the gap he had opened the door to.
Siwon glanced up at the elder singer before sliding his bookmark between the pages he was reading and turned fully. “Yes, hyung?”
“We’re gonna go out drinking… would you like to join us?”
In the past, Siwon had usually declined such invitations, deeming drinking as something unchristian, but the courtesy was still expended on him just so he felt included. And when he did accept, it was usually just to keep an eye on his rowdy hyungs, or to end up as the designated driver.
Pausing for a moment, Siwon subtly cast a glimpse up at Heechul as he was perched on the edge of the bed, absently preening his nails because it was silent and Kibum was entertaining himself on the opposite side of the room. They youngest’s attention though, had been caught immediately at the very thought of alcohol.
Heechul shrugged that he did not mind what Siwon chose to do, so with a light-hearted grin, Siwon accepted.
“Great!” Kangin smiled, though his eyes revealed the surprise and confusion he hid well. But Heechul knew him well enough to guess that the thoughts in that head were reflecting on how Siwon’s mood had fluctuated greatly from how he had apparently been only a few days previously.
“We’re heading out in half an hour, so be ready!”
Both Siwon and Heechul watched Kangin leave, and kept their eyes on the open doorway, expecting another messenger, but when there was none, they returned to their previous activities.
Sighing, Heechul laid back on the mattress and stared up at the ceiling. He felt Siwon look at him briefly, and heard a little smirk on those lips. Over three days, his dongsaeng had learned how to react and not react to Heechul’s presence around the public and other members.
Often it felt like he was being ignored, when the eleven of them were in a playful squabble or planning their future as Super Junior, but that was just something that Heechul had to grow used to. A few times he could not hack it, so he left, which left Siwon in a state of panic because he could not understand why he had gone; how long he would be or if he would ever be coming back.
After the third or fourth time though, they both got used to it and fell into a strange kind of routine. The only thing Heechul still struggled with, and the problem promised to persist, was the one-sided conversations. He loved talking and interacting, and that one simple pleasure was being denied to him. But still, it was much better than sitting around in Heaven doing nothing.
Just as much, it was not fair to keep expecting Siwon to pull himself away from his friends, just to spend time with his hyung so he would not be lonely. The whole point of Heechul’s mission, after all, was to assure that Siwon lived his life, which was not something he could really do if he would be hanging out with the dead all day.
“I hope you’re not going drinking to go drinking, Siwonnie. That’s not what nice Christian boys do now, is it?” Heechul chuckled as he noticed an eyebrow twitch and Siwon’s knuckles pale against the hard-back cover of his book.
“Besides,” he continued, poking Siwon in the back as it was all he could reach easily. “God would not be impressed if I allowed you to go and destroy your liver! That would just be a waste of my time and effort! I know I was tasked to help you find God, but I’m pretty sure he didn’t mean through a premature death!”
Siwon sighed and ran his hand through his hair in exasperation.
“Hyung? Are you okay?” Kibum asked quietly from his bed, frowning behind his glasses.
“Huh? Oh, yeah-”
“Yah! Kibum-ah, get in here! You have to see this! This clown has to be seen to be believed!” Kyuhyun’s voice travelled through the dorm and into the bedroom. The maniacal laughter in his voice betraying his current activities.
Groaning as he pulled himself to his feet, Kibum excused himself and ambled out of the room. Siwon stood as if to follow, but pushed the door shut and turned to Heechul, scowling.
“Honestly,” Heechul sighed, nestling comfortably into Siwon’s pillows. They smelt of the man and his expensive cologne and it was rather quite calming. “After what happened to me, you’d think that kid would get out and live the life he’s got whilst he’s still got it.”
“Hyung, please, must we talk of death?”
Propping himself up on his elbows, the elder watched as Siwon sat by his feet. Sadness echoed in his chocolate eyes and Heechul sat up completely and grabbed his hands. His injured hand was now free of its bindings, but still tender to the touch, so Heechul was conscious to be gentle.
“Siwonnie, you know that tonight is meant in my honour, right? I mean, you go back to dance practice the day after tomorrow. They’re gonna talk about me and-”
“I don’t want to talk about that, hyung.”
Blinking slowly, Heechul shuffled closer until he could pull Siwon into an embrace. Siwon’s head found its way onto his shoulder; his hot breath washed onto his neck and collarbone, causing the skin to prickle. “They have to, Siwon-ah. You know how they’ve had to bottle everything up for you sake, and now you’re doing better… let them get me out of their systems,”
Siwon moved closer, breathing deeply a few times before strong arms wrapped around Heechul’s waist and tightened the hug softly. “Super Junior won’t be the same without you, Heenim. I don’t want to be made to think it will,”
Lips brushed against the sensitive flesh of Heechul’s neck and as shudders ran down his spine, his first instinct was the roll his head to the opposite side. But Heechul caught the sigh that threatened to escape in his throat and frowning deeply, he tried to move away, but Siwon refused to allow him.
He tried to laugh away the awkwardness that only he seemed to be feeling. Patting Siwon brotherly on the back, he said, “Whoever said something like that? Beat them for me, Horse! It was Sungmin, wasn’t it? He’s always wanted to steal my spot as the flowerboy princess! Do not let him!”
“You’ll always be my princess,” Siwon whispered. Heechul felt his lips purse, so close to his skin… but then the younger sighed and pulled away completely.
“Will you be coming along too?”
“I… I don’t think so.
“Have fun, Siwon-ah. You really deserve it. Just, respect your body? We can’t be having these gorgeous things,” he placed his hand flat against Siwon’s hard abdomen and rubbed slightly to feel the defined ridges of muscle. Siwon blushed petal-red and smiled shyly. Heechul grinned and pressed a little harder. They felt so good! “lost to a beer belly, okay?”
“Okay, hyung. I’ll guard the sexy just for you!”
“There’s a good horse. Now, I want you to do a favour for me…”
Siwon looked at him in question, but did not miss the motion of Heechul removing his hand from his dongsaeng’s abs to its resting place on his lap. “Yes, hyung?”
“Those letters… well, that letter,” Heechul muttered. He suddenly found himself unable to look Siwon in the eyes, and instead focused on a pair of dirty socks that were left on the carpet by the window. “I want you to destroy it. And somewhere under my bed there should be a little metal box with a lock on it. Destroy that too. Promise me you’ll do this.”
Frowning, Siwon slowly nodded. “Would you like me to do it now, hyung?”
“No, no,” the elder waved his hand dismissively in the air. “Do it some time in the next few days. Tonight, you are just going to go out and have fun with our brothers. Okay? I trust you, so I won’t even check up on you!”
“Okay. Try to have fun without me, hyung!” Siwon leaned forwards quickly and kissed Heechul on the cheek as he had done so many times over the years. But Heechul blushed and when Siwon had vanished from the room, raised his hand to cover the still-tingling flesh.
As soon as his palm made contact, he turned towards it and stared, wide-eyed as if he had become a puppet and someone had seized his strings.
I don’t…. understand.
--
The dorm had always been a creepy place after dark and when empty. Perhaps it was just a strange feeling of being somewhere that looked, and by all means was, familiar, but felt completely different. Usually buzzing with life and creativity, silence and deep shadows had even Heechul sat in the living room, stiff with caution.
But it was not so much a fear of the unknown, but an extreme hatred of being alone that clawed through his mind. Whenever the group were split up for subgroup or individual promotions, Heechul always had Youngstreet or his friends to occupy his time. Now, there was just Siwon and he wondered what would happen when he completed his task.
Although he said Siwon that they would find out together in due time, it was ridiculous to believe that Heechul could angel-stalk Siwon for the rest of his life. How could the man go out and find a wife and start a family like the Christian dream that was installed into him as a child dictated when he was busy keeping up a friendship that caused little but distress and emotional confusion?
Confusion, because Heechul still felt his fingertips pressing against the very spot Siwon kissed, and because every time he tried to picture the future, the very thought of Siwon marrying felt like a kick in the teeth.
That was resentment, Heechul reasoned. He did not want to give up Siwon so the man could be cared after and protected by someone else. He had always done such an awful job of caring for his dongsaeng in life: forever squabbling and insulting and ignoring, and only allowing for affection and skin-ship on his terms; Heechul was adamant to make up for his past digressions.
Sighing, Heechul lowered his hand once again back own to his lap. It was stupid. Pathetic. Such feelings were transitory; sometimes intense, but always left some kind of mark. And he was not the man he once was. Opening himself up was like leaving the city gates open knowing that a neighbouring nation was eager to widen their borders.
Not that there was anything to open himself up to. Heechul crossed his arms tightly over his chest and pouted.
It was just the loneliness that was talking.
Just the loneliness, he said to himself again and pushed up from the sofa and ambled back to the bedroom was that now Siwon’s for the foreseeable future, until he reconciled with his family. Heechul all but collapsed in his dongsaeng’s bed, knowing that if he slept in heaven he would be likely to lose track of time and leave Siwon for perhaps a day, if not two. He was only half-conscious of the fact he was hugging the pillow before falling asleep.
--
Loud music pounded through the room and the floor shook to the beat of the eleven pairs of feet that stomped, jumped and landed in more or less perfect time. Even if just one faltered, the song was stopped and everyone turned to help the one that was struggling. Heechul had always been one of those few who were constantly missing steps or tripping and breaking the formation, but even without him, the process was still long and arduous.
From where he sat, back to the mirrors that formed the whole of one wall and sat beside the stereo to opposite side to the choreographer, he began to appreciate Super Junior in a way he had not really thought to before. A group of teens had been slung together; grown up together and blossomed into young men of different talents. There were dancers in the group, singers and actors. He could not think of another group that was like them.
He smiled, watching as Ryeowook stumbled again and knocked Kyuhyun in the ribs with his elbow as he tried to catch himself. The maknae grabbed his wrist and pulled him upright before smirking, but still caringly, checked if he was alight.
Super Junior was unique, not only in Korea, but the entire world. Heechul felt proud to know that he had been a part of it. And even though the group was continuing on performing and creating to new material, he was still apart of it, because, in everyone’s faces he could see the determination to keep Kim Heechul a part of the group.
He caught Siwon smiling at him. Just a subtle look that could easily pass as a glimpse at his own feet by the others if they were distracted from their own movement and that of the choreographer enough to notice. Heechul shook his head, playfully disapproving, but kept focus on Siwon nonetheless.
The man’s short dark hair was damp with sweat - they’d been dancing for at least two hours and only stopped for a few minutes at a time to stretch and rehydrate themselves. His white shirt clung to his body in all the right places and Heechul noticed only too late that he was staring. Siwon noticed moments beforehand and teasingly added extra rolling motions, subtle little thrusts that the choreographer picked up on and commended. The female fans would like that… Blushing, Heechul had to glance out of the window and hear a little voice in his head shamefully admit that he certainly did.
“Okay guys, that’s great! Take five and we’ll resume after the second chorus!” The choreographer cried, already halfway to the door, with a cigarette tight between his fingers.
Jungsu sighed and broke the formation by wandering over to the stereo and switching it off before turning back to the group. Heechul shuffled across the floor to avoid getting in the leader’s way, because those few times he had made ‘contact’ with everyone but Siwon in the dorms it just felt weird. An unpleasant kind of weird.
“Alright,” the sandy blonde clapped his hands and silently lead the group through a quick exercise to warm-down after the rehearsal before glancing at his watch. “Who’s up for some lunch?”
Everyone chimed in enthusiastically, though no one showed such eagerness in accompanying Jungsu, so the eldest picked a handful of dongsaengs and left Kangin in charge. Heechul settled back against the cold glass of the mirror and folded his arms over his knees. Eunhyuk settled in a corner by his own, dancing to a beat in his head; Kibum and Kyuhyun huddled up by the wall next to the window, muttering over what Heechul could only suppose was another mobile game. Some day, maybe after he was finished with Siwon, God might assign him to make sure those two found a life outside of the virtual.
With a quiet sigh, Heechul’s gaze returned to Siwon, who was still running over the last few steps of the dance. Still with his extra accents that had Heechul tilting his head to his shoulder using the collar of his jacket and his hair to hide the rose-tint to his cheeks.
From the new angle, he noticed how Sungmin was staring at Siwon, a little bemused but quite interested. Heechul frowned deeply, which in turn confused Siwon so the taller man spun in his little dance to meet the elder singer’s eyes.
“Hyung?”
Sungmin blinked and broke out into one of his entirely feigned innocent but cute smiles. “Yes, Siwon-ah?”
“You okay?”
“Oh,” Sungmin coyly averted his gaze to the floor, “I was just…liking your dancing,”
Heechul watched as Siwon walked closer and titled his head in the sexy way he did when he was up to no good. His eyes narrowed, but he continued watching even as Siwon’s hands reached out and took a hold of the smaller man’s waist.
“Wanna dance?” Siwon drew his hips flush to Sungmin’s and over Siwon’s shoulder, Heechul could see the brunette’s blush, but he was smiling.
Slim arms wound around Siwon’s body loosely and to pair started to move to their own rhythm; a beat that grew in intensity as they moved around each other but never lost contact for more than a second.
Heechul glared at them, more than he watched. His jaw clenched tightly and he absently noticed that the four others in the room had all stopped what they were doing to stare in distaste.
But it was only when Siwon’s mouth hung dangerously close to Sungmin’s parted lips that Kangin finally pushed himself away from the window and spoke up. “Yah! No baby-making on my watch!”
Sungmin blushed again, but Siwon just smirked, pulling the shorter man than little bit closer and leaning down to press a kiss to his cheek. The sight flashed memories of how Siwon had done the same to him only two nights previously.
Heechul felt mocked. Skin burning and fists clench. He growled out loud, heaving himself to his feet and stormed out of the open doorway. His back fell heavily against the wall in the corridor. He let out a heavy breath, but when he opened his eyes - he could not remember closing them - his vision was blurred.
He stood still, as if waiting, for a few moments, or minutes. Waiting for Siwon to come out and see what was the matter? The man did not. Heechul bit his tongue and cast a side-glance to the doorway, feeling a maelstrom of emotions that twisted painfully in his head, stomach and heart. But he managed to do something that he might not have during life - he walked away.
Chapter XII