Jul 14, 2007 16:28
A fellow trainee (ex-trainee, actually) somehow got ahold of some vital information of mine (my email address) and sent me a "hey ol' chum how have you been?" email. I never liked this kid from day one, and tried multiple times to get him kicked out. I left basic training thinking that I had accompolished my goal, but apperantly I was wrong.
I sent a reply that said, almost word for word, '*sigh* I was really, really hoping you'd be dead by now. You never fail to dissapoint me.'
And with that, I realized how apathetic I have become.
I'm almost 4,000 miles from home in a war zone, and I don't have the decency to call my family or parents on a regular basis (more than once a month) and let them know that I'm okay or alive or anything. And it's not like I hate them, I just really don't care and that's what's bothering me. It's kind of a contradiction, I care about the fact that I don't care. I just don't want to become so soul-less that I completely forget how to be civil or humane.
I realize now that I'm not going to actively pursue a relationship while in the airforce, to me it seems like a trap. Most people who want to get out after their first enlistment never do because they end up getting married and having children and no plan B to support themselves so they stay with what they know and pretty soon what was once just an option is now a requirement. I don't want to live that way.
I also can't seem to get rid of some of this fucking weight. sticking to non-fried foods, only turkey or chicken or tuna, salads and light meals, no sweet drinks (juices, soda, sweet tea, yada) and it seems as if I gain more than I lose. Oop, times up on the computer, gotta go. Peace.