just thinking
I saw Steve-o tonight... All I did was comment on how I hate c-heads... I think it pissed him off but I guess he said " maybe when I'm probation she'll talk to me again " but.. that had nothing to do with it.. at first.... cuz I was mad way before that... and it didn't have anything to do with his change of attitude toward me either... it was just that he lied to me.. I told him when we first started hanging out.. I hated being lied to.. I mean I am a very forgiving person and I usually do forgive people even when they do lie to me.. but when they sit there.. and lie to me straight to me face when I ask them straight out to be honest with me.. Its fucked up... And I don't even hate him.. I just want things to be like they were before.. I want him to care about me, my thoughts, my feelings, my opinions.. maybe he never did.. but he acted like it.. I wish he did... but even at that.. I want things to be BETTER then they were before... I want him to feel for me the way I did..... (do) for him... I want him to understand the way I feel for him and to appreciate it... someone in this world genuinely cares about him and his well being... and all he did was use and abuse it...
you know how in movies... like.. love stories.. theres always that dramatic scene where they are like.... just.. breaking down and confessing everything and saying everything they want to say so perfectly? and then the other person just starts crying and they end up together and living happily ever after? yeah. I guess thats what I want... but I know even if I can actually say everything I want to say.. it wont have any effect on him.. Nothing happens like it does in the movies..its all bullshit and nobody really cares... Happy endings dont happen. no one lives happily ever after...
I sincerely hope he gets over his problem... and I really do hope he finds someone to make him happy.. even if it isn't me..
Steve-o... I know you have probably seen this shit.. I'm sure SOMEONE has shown you... so if you read this.. I'm sorry about the way I acted towards you.. but you werent so nice to me either... I guess when I'm hurt i just... put alot of anger behind it... I just dont know what else to do... All my friends, and YOU were the only reasons I didn't want to leave florida.. but apparently most of my friends arent really friends either.. they just use me.. for one thing or another... I no longer have any reason to stay.. and since my mom wants to move.. I have no arguement.. I'm willing to go.. so I won't be anything you have to deal with anymore.. you can just forget about me... and everything that happened between us.. it's probably better off that way, anyways.
Anyways.. I'm done. I'll post later.. about.. 24/7 tonight.. it was pretty cool.
*Ali*
you know how in movies... like.. love stories.. theres always that dramatic scene where they are like.... just.. breaking down and confessing everything and saying everything they want to say so perfectly? and then the other person just starts crying and they end up together and living happily ever after? yeah. I guess thats what I want... but I know even if I can actually say everything I want to say.. it wont have any effect on him.. Nothing happens like it does in the movies..its all bullshit and nobody really cares... Happy endings dont happen. no one lives happily ever after...
I sincerely hope he gets over his problem... and I really do hope he finds someone to make him happy.. even if it isn't me..
Steve-o... I know you have probably seen this shit.. I'm sure SOMEONE has shown you... so if you read this.. I'm sorry about the way I acted towards you.. but you werent so nice to me either... I guess when I'm hurt i just... put alot of anger behind it... I just dont know what else to do... All my friends, and YOU were the only reasons I didn't want to leave florida.. but apparently most of my friends arent really friends either.. they just use me.. for one thing or another... I no longer have any reason to stay.. and since my mom wants to move.. I have no arguement.. I'm willing to go.. so I won't be anything you have to deal with anymore.. you can just forget about me... and everything that happened between us.. it's probably better off that way, anyways.
Anyways.. I'm done. I'll post later.. about.. 24/7 tonight.. it was pretty cool.
*Ali*