Let's pretend...happy end....
It's no lie that I haven't felt myself lately. And I've been trying to fix all of it, I really have. Maybe I've been trying too hard and that's why nothing really works or it all seems so temporary. Maybe its because life is so temporary and lately I've been feeling how short everything is. Sorry I've been in a morbid kinda mood. And I know when I get like this I tend to mess up other aspects of life, maybe I don't talk as much as I'd like to all the time for fear of what asinine thoughts will spew from my mouth. I just want that happy ending I've been dreaming of my whole life. I want to feel in control of things. I'm 24, but to look at my life you wouldnt know it. I feel as uncertain of things as I did at 18. I thought by now I'd be somewhere, or at least have seen more places.
But instead I find myself trapped in a job where I cant get decent time off to live, I get called when things go wrong, not the store manager, and I find myself closer and closer to tears on a near daily basis. I let past relationships attempt to shape my present situation which wasnt fair. I wish I could clear the slate. Get back the friends I've lost over the years, get back that youthful innonence and carefreeness that felt like it vanished overnight.
It just feels at least at this moment, that if things dont change I'm either gonna lose myself or lose Kire....and I can't handle either of those.
But instead I find myself trapped in a job where I cant get decent time off to live, I get called when things go wrong, not the store manager, and I find myself closer and closer to tears on a near daily basis. I let past relationships attempt to shape my present situation which wasnt fair. I wish I could clear the slate. Get back the friends I've lost over the years, get back that youthful innonence and carefreeness that felt like it vanished overnight.
It just feels at least at this moment, that if things dont change I'm either gonna lose myself or lose Kire....and I can't handle either of those.