(no subject)
I confess that in 2005 i...
( ) stayed single the whole year.
( ) got your first kiss
( x) kissed someone new
( ) made-out for the first time
(x ) made-out in/on a car
( x) kissed in the snow
(x ) kissed in the rain
(x) fell in love
(x) fell in love with a fool.
(x) had your heart broken
(x ) broke someone else's heart
( x) had a stalker
( x) had/have a good relationship with someone
( ) questioned your sexual orientation
(x ) came out of the closet(not really came out but didn't deny i was bi)
( ) gotten pregnant
( ) gotten someone else pregnant
( ) had an abortion
( ) gotten married
( ) had a divorce
( ) had a gay marriage
(x ) kissed someone of the same sex
(x ) dated someone you'll never forget
(x) done something you've regretted
( ) lost your true love
( x) lost faith in love
( ) kissed under miseltoe
WORK/SCHOOL
( ) got a promotion
( ) got a pay raise
( ) changed jobs
( ) lost your job
(x ) quit your job
( ) dated a co-worker
( ) dated your boss
( ) dated your boss' daughter/son
( ) got fired from your job
( ) got straight A's
(x ) met one teacher you really like
(x ) met one teacher you really hated
(x) found the subject you love
(x ) failed a class
( ) cut class
(x ) skipped school
(x ) got into a fight with a classmate
(x) did something you were proud of
( ) discovered a new talent
(x ) gave the teachers a reason to teach
(x) proved yourself an idiot
(x) embarassed yourself in front of the class
( ) fell in love with a teacher (no but this week to saw the teacher that i really liked in 7th grade on out public whatever channel)
( ) got a lead in the school play
( ) made a varsity team
(x) were involved in something you'll never forget
( ) got sent to the office(principle/vice/deans)
OTHER
(x ) painted a picture
(x) wrote a poem
( x) ran a mile
(x) listened to music you couldn't stand
(x) double-dipped
( ) skinny-dipped
(x) went to a sleepover
( ) went to camp
( ) threw a surprise party
(x) laughed till you cried
( ) laughed till you peed in your pants
(x) flirted shamelessly
( ) visited a foreign country
(x) visted a foreign state
(x ) cooked a disasterous meal
(x) lost something important to you
(x) got a gift you adore
(x) realized something new about yourself
(x) went on a diet
( ) tried to gain weight
(x) dyed your hair
( ) came close to losing your life
( ) someone close to you died
(x ) drank alchohol
(x) drank alchohol underage
( x) did (a) drug(s)
(x ) got drunk
( ) got arrested
(x) read a great book
(x) saw a great movie
( ) saw a movie so scary that it made you cry
(x) saw your favorite band/artist live
(x) saw someone famous in person (in person as in the same room then sure)
(x) did something you want to tell everyone
(x) enjoyed this year overall
__________
its a new year another fresh start
time for me to show you some of the things that I REALLY WANT TO DO
(but probably won't do most of (lol))
- Get a new tattoo (a cool one thats bigger then a coin)
- Get a new facial piercings that my parents had said no to but i got them to change there mind
- grow my hair back out
- stop biting my nails (its been about 2 weeks already)
- Do good in school
- Actually graduate early
- get back into shape (i really want to but hate doing it alone, actually thinking of asking for a personal trainer, like maybe my parents will be nice and do that, my family doesn't really get that my selfesteem is smaller then a dime)
- stay with Adam (very important to me)
- Hang out with ellen and mary more (even more important... well equally because i love them both so muh and i feel like not hanging out with them kinda makes me not a great friend)
- do more things
- be mroe serious with my modeling (thats also part of why i want to work out)
- make my ears stop oooozing (haha its only cause my new gauges)
- get an acoustic guitar and learn to play it
- learn to play my drums
- really learn to play at least one of those or a new instrument (i really wanna relearn the clarinet bcause i loved it and i want to learn the violin cause they would be awesome, possibly piano but that one i can live wiht out )
- get money (maybe start baby sitting, or working some where even though i know once i turn 18 i already have a job)
- Spend more time with the family
- Get my permit, liscense and a car but that might take more then a year simply because my mom doesn't even hae a car at the moment
- Encourage my mom to get a job
- Help my dad lose wieght (i am really scared for him)
- Sit down and get my cerfew latened for real
-Probably won't happen till the summer
- Start feeling better about myself
- Start letting go of my past, since i still hold on to it to much (ex: mathew ( i still think about him once a day, I can't sleep with out hit pillow being near me if i am at home, I still dream about me and him and though I love him its about time I don't let that rule over parts of me, I need to let go of my moms past, I need to stop dwelling on my past heart breaks, and other bad that has happened to me.)
i dunno i realized a lot of things
and i actually sat down and talked to my brother austin (the 13 year old, not the 14 or the 6 yeear old)
for a while and he almost made em ry,
he told me he looked up to me
because i don't drink
or smoke
or do drugs, it makes me feel really good
because thats actually the reason i stopped
because i knew JR (the 14 year old)
always looked up to me and i wouldn't want him to do any of that
____________________________________
Time for the real update
I realize eery year that I change a lot
That I've grown up
My wrongs and rights
I got myself into a couple really bad situations.
I hurt people by being selfish
By thinking 100% about myself
or not enough.
I know now that when it comes to dating,
I need to take it seriously
the way i wanted to all along,
I need to know where things are going to go,
Not where they are at that second,
I need to know the type of person they are
and the way they are going to treat me.
I know that Adam and I aren't the perfect relationship
but none the less I love him, and he loves me.
Thats what is important,
We know that there is a bond between us
something that no one, no thing can seem to break,
We always find out way back to each other.
He may make me cry, but he makes me smile more,
and he may forget to do something
but he always makes it up.
He is always trying to make this work
and thats what is important to me.
I also took the time to realize what friends mean to me
I can live without having the whole world at my side
I jsut need a few close friends who I know I can trust
Adam, Ellen, Erin, Mary, Amanda, Adie, Jordan, Corey.
You guys are those people.
I mean their are other people I know I can trust
Like my brother Austin,
I love him to death, and I know
that i can tell him almost anything
and I know he is always going to be there.
So this year i want to do what is going to make me happy
and better me and help me do the things i want to do.
Thank you to everyone who's put up with me
I am sorry to everyone I've hurt
I need you to everyone I've mention
Today I am letting go of my past
Today I am taking a step in the right direction
Today NOTHING is going to rule me but me
Today I am who I need to be.
- Nicole Emilie Butler Reed
( ) stayed single the whole year.
( ) got your first kiss
( x) kissed someone new
( ) made-out for the first time
(x ) made-out in/on a car
( x) kissed in the snow
(x ) kissed in the rain
(x) fell in love
(x) fell in love with a fool.
(x) had your heart broken
(x ) broke someone else's heart
( x) had a stalker
( x) had/have a good relationship with someone
( ) questioned your sexual orientation
(x ) came out of the closet(not really came out but didn't deny i was bi)
( ) gotten pregnant
( ) gotten someone else pregnant
( ) had an abortion
( ) gotten married
( ) had a divorce
( ) had a gay marriage
(x ) kissed someone of the same sex
(x ) dated someone you'll never forget
(x) done something you've regretted
( ) lost your true love
( x) lost faith in love
( ) kissed under miseltoe
WORK/SCHOOL
( ) got a promotion
( ) got a pay raise
( ) changed jobs
( ) lost your job
(x ) quit your job
( ) dated a co-worker
( ) dated your boss
( ) dated your boss' daughter/son
( ) got fired from your job
( ) got straight A's
(x ) met one teacher you really like
(x ) met one teacher you really hated
(x) found the subject you love
(x ) failed a class
( ) cut class
(x ) skipped school
(x ) got into a fight with a classmate
(x) did something you were proud of
( ) discovered a new talent
(x ) gave the teachers a reason to teach
(x) proved yourself an idiot
(x) embarassed yourself in front of the class
( ) fell in love with a teacher (no but this week to saw the teacher that i really liked in 7th grade on out public whatever channel)
( ) got a lead in the school play
( ) made a varsity team
(x) were involved in something you'll never forget
( ) got sent to the office(principle/vice/deans)
OTHER
(x ) painted a picture
(x) wrote a poem
( x) ran a mile
(x) listened to music you couldn't stand
(x) double-dipped
( ) skinny-dipped
(x) went to a sleepover
( ) went to camp
( ) threw a surprise party
(x) laughed till you cried
( ) laughed till you peed in your pants
(x) flirted shamelessly
( ) visited a foreign country
(x) visted a foreign state
(x ) cooked a disasterous meal
(x) lost something important to you
(x) got a gift you adore
(x) realized something new about yourself
(x) went on a diet
( ) tried to gain weight
(x) dyed your hair
( ) came close to losing your life
( ) someone close to you died
(x ) drank alchohol
(x) drank alchohol underage
( x) did (a) drug(s)
(x ) got drunk
( ) got arrested
(x) read a great book
(x) saw a great movie
( ) saw a movie so scary that it made you cry
(x) saw your favorite band/artist live
(x) saw someone famous in person (in person as in the same room then sure)
(x) did something you want to tell everyone
(x) enjoyed this year overall
__________
its a new year another fresh start
time for me to show you some of the things that I REALLY WANT TO DO
(but probably won't do most of (lol))
- Get a new tattoo (a cool one thats bigger then a coin)
- Get a new facial piercings that my parents had said no to but i got them to change there mind
- grow my hair back out
- stop biting my nails (its been about 2 weeks already)
- Do good in school
- Actually graduate early
- get back into shape (i really want to but hate doing it alone, actually thinking of asking for a personal trainer, like maybe my parents will be nice and do that, my family doesn't really get that my selfesteem is smaller then a dime)
- stay with Adam (very important to me)
- Hang out with ellen and mary more (even more important... well equally because i love them both so muh and i feel like not hanging out with them kinda makes me not a great friend)
- do more things
- be mroe serious with my modeling (thats also part of why i want to work out)
- make my ears stop oooozing (haha its only cause my new gauges)
- get an acoustic guitar and learn to play it
- learn to play my drums
- really learn to play at least one of those or a new instrument (i really wanna relearn the clarinet bcause i loved it and i want to learn the violin cause they would be awesome, possibly piano but that one i can live wiht out )
- get money (maybe start baby sitting, or working some where even though i know once i turn 18 i already have a job)
- Spend more time with the family
- Get my permit, liscense and a car but that might take more then a year simply because my mom doesn't even hae a car at the moment
- Encourage my mom to get a job
- Help my dad lose wieght (i am really scared for him)
- Sit down and get my cerfew latened for real
-Probably won't happen till the summer
- Start feeling better about myself
- Start letting go of my past, since i still hold on to it to much (ex: mathew ( i still think about him once a day, I can't sleep with out hit pillow being near me if i am at home, I still dream about me and him and though I love him its about time I don't let that rule over parts of me, I need to let go of my moms past, I need to stop dwelling on my past heart breaks, and other bad that has happened to me.)
i dunno i realized a lot of things
and i actually sat down and talked to my brother austin (the 13 year old, not the 14 or the 6 yeear old)
for a while and he almost made em ry,
he told me he looked up to me
because i don't drink
or smoke
or do drugs, it makes me feel really good
because thats actually the reason i stopped
because i knew JR (the 14 year old)
always looked up to me and i wouldn't want him to do any of that
____________________________________
Time for the real update
I realize eery year that I change a lot
That I've grown up
My wrongs and rights
I got myself into a couple really bad situations.
I hurt people by being selfish
By thinking 100% about myself
or not enough.
I know now that when it comes to dating,
I need to take it seriously
the way i wanted to all along,
I need to know where things are going to go,
Not where they are at that second,
I need to know the type of person they are
and the way they are going to treat me.
I know that Adam and I aren't the perfect relationship
but none the less I love him, and he loves me.
Thats what is important,
We know that there is a bond between us
something that no one, no thing can seem to break,
We always find out way back to each other.
He may make me cry, but he makes me smile more,
and he may forget to do something
but he always makes it up.
He is always trying to make this work
and thats what is important to me.
I also took the time to realize what friends mean to me
I can live without having the whole world at my side
I jsut need a few close friends who I know I can trust
Adam, Ellen, Erin, Mary, Amanda, Adie, Jordan, Corey.
You guys are those people.
I mean their are other people I know I can trust
Like my brother Austin,
I love him to death, and I know
that i can tell him almost anything
and I know he is always going to be there.
So this year i want to do what is going to make me happy
and better me and help me do the things i want to do.
Thank you to everyone who's put up with me
I am sorry to everyone I've hurt
I need you to everyone I've mention
Today I am letting go of my past
Today I am taking a step in the right direction
Today NOTHING is going to rule me but me
Today I am who I need to be.
- Nicole Emilie Butler Reed