(no subject)
hey,
i decided to post this so that lal would know that i was ok, coz she just messaged me- but its good its good 2 no someone is thinking of me, i love u too hunni,
ok i figure i shuld let u all no wat im on about,
basically rach and seth r going out
im not really sure how i feel, i mean im angry but mostly dissapointed and hurt. 6 months ago i would have called rach every name under the sun and hated her and probably smashed her head in.
i mean argh i dunno
im not really angry at rach mainly just disapointed and hurt, disapointed and hurt because she saw how much he hurt me, she saw how many sleepless nights, i was either angry,in tears,cut,or on the verge of killing myself because of something he had said/done, or because he didnt care..and yet she continues to go out with him even when she saw how long it took me to begin to get over him and that was only because i saw what an ass he really is and all she can say is but i cant just give up and stop caring! that also hurt alot...whats more is that fact of i would never do that 2 her or anyone...she knew my rule of not going out with pplz ex's which as far as i know i have stuck to!,,,so then i think about that and that makes me angry and i feel like shaking her and screaming at her and makes me wanna throw him against a brick wall.
and i mean sure i did think about swallowing my full packet of panadol rapid tablets even if i didnt kill me just because of...i dunno what ever i thought..but then i was like u no wat im not going to do that because well its there decision and if rach doesnt wanna listen 2 me and as she put it give up and stop caring..although i dont think of it like that i think of it as protecting myself from getting hurt..or at least trying to which i think is fair...and if she wants to decided that then its not my problem
on the other hand...i think well im over him mostly its your desicion...and then i begin to wonder if i am over him...i mean if i was would i get this uptight or am i just jelous...
but argh i dunno,
im gonna stop because this already probly makes no sense
so i dunno
any one got any idea??
but yer lal i am ok...thankyou so much for caring hunni <3
and rach thats how i really feel..give or take
and everyone else thankyou for continuing 2 stik by me thru all my bitching and whatever
i decided to post this so that lal would know that i was ok, coz she just messaged me- but its good its good 2 no someone is thinking of me, i love u too hunni,
ok i figure i shuld let u all no wat im on about,
basically rach and seth r going out
im not really sure how i feel, i mean im angry but mostly dissapointed and hurt. 6 months ago i would have called rach every name under the sun and hated her and probably smashed her head in.
i mean argh i dunno
im not really angry at rach mainly just disapointed and hurt, disapointed and hurt because she saw how much he hurt me, she saw how many sleepless nights, i was either angry,in tears,cut,or on the verge of killing myself because of something he had said/done, or because he didnt care..and yet she continues to go out with him even when she saw how long it took me to begin to get over him and that was only because i saw what an ass he really is and all she can say is but i cant just give up and stop caring! that also hurt alot...whats more is that fact of i would never do that 2 her or anyone...she knew my rule of not going out with pplz ex's which as far as i know i have stuck to!,,,so then i think about that and that makes me angry and i feel like shaking her and screaming at her and makes me wanna throw him against a brick wall.
and i mean sure i did think about swallowing my full packet of panadol rapid tablets even if i didnt kill me just because of...i dunno what ever i thought..but then i was like u no wat im not going to do that because well its there decision and if rach doesnt wanna listen 2 me and as she put it give up and stop caring..although i dont think of it like that i think of it as protecting myself from getting hurt..or at least trying to which i think is fair...and if she wants to decided that then its not my problem
on the other hand...i think well im over him mostly its your desicion...and then i begin to wonder if i am over him...i mean if i was would i get this uptight or am i just jelous...
but argh i dunno,
im gonna stop because this already probly makes no sense
so i dunno
any one got any idea??
but yer lal i am ok...thankyou so much for caring hunni <3
and rach thats how i really feel..give or take
and everyone else thankyou for continuing 2 stik by me thru all my bitching and whatever