"Just like you imagined..." Part 3
So I get a reply:
"Anytime we've mentioned or offered anything about the cat, it has been to Lara because she's the only one who seems to see you. Anytime you come over, you don't even let us know you're coming. Everytime Katie or I have called, we've left a voicemail and it never get's returned. Lara has made it seem like she knows you don't want to give the cat away because we've been trying to find her a home, and she's made this seem unwanted because we've expressed concern over the way Gizmo has been cared for. The reason I'm concerned about Gizmo is she's now allowing people to pick her up and she's been throwing up at least once or twice a week. This may be due to the hair, but you've said on more than one occasion you were going to take her to get shaved and when Kim looked at Gizmo and expressed concern about her skin and the possibility of infection. Kim is a groomer, that was her profession before she had her baby. She's worked with cats. She wasn't saying this because she wanted money because she won't shave cats now due to her not having a workshop. She talked to a friend of hers that does shave cats to see about a discount. But, we didn't hear from you when we called and left a voicemail for you to call us back, so this fell through. If you don't mind giving Gizmo away, we'll continue to look for a home for her. We'd take her, but we're having a hard enough time finding a place without having to look for one that permits cats.
On the second issue, you've made it clear through several people that you've been looking for alone time. We've been trying to give you space and only calling on occasion to try to get together. Most of the time we get your voicemail and when we actually do try to make plans with you over the phone, they've been shot down with a promise for you to call to try to plan something else. When you never called back, we assumed you didn't want to have anything to do with us. This has been re-inforced by the fact that when you started coming over after you went to your dads, you would stop by for a second and say hi or just pop right into Jeff and Lara's room without saying anything at all. At Otakon, Katie saw you at the Otakon table when she went to visit Kelly and said hi to you and you said nothing back at all. I think you may have even walked away. After that, we assumed you didn't want to talk to either of us. We were going to invite you out for the sushi thing Katie does with her friends every year at Otakon, but you didn't even acknowledge her, so we didn't. If you didn't hear her, than that's one thing, but at that point, you made it seem as though we didn't exist to you. If I seemed like I was avoiding you in the Art Show, it was only because I assumed that you didn't really want to talk to me. And due to the tensions in the apartment, how can I not draw a conclusion that it has something to do with it. You actually return their calls and follow through with plans. We invited you to a 4th of July party and you didn't even bother to tell us no, let alone that you we're doing something over at your Dad's place. That was hurtful. You planned something and didn't even have the decency to tell us you weren't coming to something you had been invited to a month prior, let alone that you we're throwing a party and not inviting us. If you want to work on being friends again, then return a phone call once and a while. Make it known that you actually want to talk to us. I'm tired of hearing what's going on in your life third hand. If you want to be my friend, then don't put me through all this high school bullshit and just be my friend."
My initial reply is this, but I think my folks might be right to not reply, that silence from my end will be much more significant, but this way I don't lose my rough draft...
"It doesn't matter if it's Lara who seems to see me or not. Gizmo is still MY cat until further notice. Any concern you may have, call me, deal with me, instead of this run around nonsense and talking to someone else who doesn't own the cat. (why should it be so shocking that people around her can pick her up? Is it so wrong that she's used to folks all of a sudden?) And it's not your responsibility to find Gizmo a home. It's mine. If you happen to know someone, that's fine, let me talk to them, but don't go offering her to people without me having talked to them. I didn't call Kim or take up that offer because I don't KNOW her like you or Katie. The place I take her is a good, clean, safe place with a reasonable price. I like it and prefer to take her there rather than somewhere else I do not know (not saying anything regarding Kim's prowess or ability as a groomer). As for a voicemail regarding this, I don't recall ever hearing it.
Yeah, I was looking for alone time when I went to my dad's, but never once did I ask to be locked away from all physical contact of all my friends. And don't give me "you called and left messages" because you never did. I know. I went several weeks without talking to hardly anybody, juggling between work and working on otakon stuff and driving my way in and out of the city. And how could you even ASSUME that any flightiness (yes, I am flighty, yes I do forget things, but not out of sheer meanness) on my part was at any way an indication that I didn't want to hang with either one of you? How about all the times when the summer movies came out with midnight showings, while expecting to hear from somebody, anybody, it was never either one of you? We discussed plans prior to my moving out, yes, for fourth of july, but I remember telling you all that I made no promises regarding whether I would be there or not. And most certainly do not call me inviting LAra and Jeff over to see the harbor fireworks as a "party". It was a nice gesture since they had never seen harbor fireworks before wheras the two of you have, and I knew you had your own plans regarding the party, so what would have been the point inviting when I already knew your time would be taken?
And Otakon? Again you assume? Why would I have approached you if I didn't want anything to do with you?
The goodness of my heart? You should know by now that if I don't want anything to do with a person, I am totally far removed from them. I don't try to say hello, I don't walk up to them and actually try to have civil conversation. I did reply back to Katie, but hardly once did either she or you look towards me and ask me how it was. Never once did either of you call me during otakon to see what I was doing, if I wanted to hang out. As for leaving, well, I had to under orders. I was not part of the cleanup crew, I was art show, and the higher ups wanted everyone from every other department out of the BCC. I know, he was shouting it over my head, and I confirmed it with Kelly who agreed yeah, I should go. So I did.
And another thing: times when I have been at the apartment in the living room, which might be considered "neutral territory", whenever you walk in from work, you or Katie, ignore everything around you and go straight into your room and close the door. How am I supposed to communicate when even then you act like you want nothing to do with me?
You have no idea how upset I am right now. You talk about unreturned phone calls and shit, when you haven't tried once in the past couple weeks except to ask if I would drive Jeff to work because KAtie wouldn't be able to. And I called you back when I did to tell you that I could not. That has been the ONLY time I heard from you in recent days, so don't pull this shit of "you've called and left messages waiting for me to call back." You want me to pull out my phone bill and see what calls have been made and what haven't? You have NOT called. There have been NO messages.
If this was bothering you before, why wait until this point? Why let it get this far? I'll admit my part in this, but don't place all the blame on my doorstep. You admitted there's alot of assumption on your part too, alot of information coming from a second hand source instead when you should have been dealing directly with me. Talk about my deceny, where is yours? Why the underhandedness?
You want me to just "be your friend" but from where I'm standing, it seems very difficult to be a friend to you anymore. You hardly talk to anyone from your old circle, you don't hang out or role play or go anywhere with any of them. You do not call me, you don't leave messages, not even through myspace. Then, when I do hear from you, it's like this. What am I supposed to think? The way you talk/write, I'm the only one responsible for the problem. To be honest, I'm getting sick of it. I can't just "be your friend" when you're taking shots at me like this. It's difficult to just "be friends" when you're treating me like an ass and not even owning it. I can't just "be friends" when you're making assumptions against a woman who is like a sister to me.
How the hell do you expect me to take it? How am I supposed to react?
I'm not sure anymore. I don't think things are as simple as you're suggesting. We can't just "be friends" like this."
*sigh*
"Anytime we've mentioned or offered anything about the cat, it has been to Lara because she's the only one who seems to see you. Anytime you come over, you don't even let us know you're coming. Everytime Katie or I have called, we've left a voicemail and it never get's returned. Lara has made it seem like she knows you don't want to give the cat away because we've been trying to find her a home, and she's made this seem unwanted because we've expressed concern over the way Gizmo has been cared for. The reason I'm concerned about Gizmo is she's now allowing people to pick her up and she's been throwing up at least once or twice a week. This may be due to the hair, but you've said on more than one occasion you were going to take her to get shaved and when Kim looked at Gizmo and expressed concern about her skin and the possibility of infection. Kim is a groomer, that was her profession before she had her baby. She's worked with cats. She wasn't saying this because she wanted money because she won't shave cats now due to her not having a workshop. She talked to a friend of hers that does shave cats to see about a discount. But, we didn't hear from you when we called and left a voicemail for you to call us back, so this fell through. If you don't mind giving Gizmo away, we'll continue to look for a home for her. We'd take her, but we're having a hard enough time finding a place without having to look for one that permits cats.
On the second issue, you've made it clear through several people that you've been looking for alone time. We've been trying to give you space and only calling on occasion to try to get together. Most of the time we get your voicemail and when we actually do try to make plans with you over the phone, they've been shot down with a promise for you to call to try to plan something else. When you never called back, we assumed you didn't want to have anything to do with us. This has been re-inforced by the fact that when you started coming over after you went to your dads, you would stop by for a second and say hi or just pop right into Jeff and Lara's room without saying anything at all. At Otakon, Katie saw you at the Otakon table when she went to visit Kelly and said hi to you and you said nothing back at all. I think you may have even walked away. After that, we assumed you didn't want to talk to either of us. We were going to invite you out for the sushi thing Katie does with her friends every year at Otakon, but you didn't even acknowledge her, so we didn't. If you didn't hear her, than that's one thing, but at that point, you made it seem as though we didn't exist to you. If I seemed like I was avoiding you in the Art Show, it was only because I assumed that you didn't really want to talk to me. And due to the tensions in the apartment, how can I not draw a conclusion that it has something to do with it. You actually return their calls and follow through with plans. We invited you to a 4th of July party and you didn't even bother to tell us no, let alone that you we're doing something over at your Dad's place. That was hurtful. You planned something and didn't even have the decency to tell us you weren't coming to something you had been invited to a month prior, let alone that you we're throwing a party and not inviting us. If you want to work on being friends again, then return a phone call once and a while. Make it known that you actually want to talk to us. I'm tired of hearing what's going on in your life third hand. If you want to be my friend, then don't put me through all this high school bullshit and just be my friend."
My initial reply is this, but I think my folks might be right to not reply, that silence from my end will be much more significant, but this way I don't lose my rough draft...
"It doesn't matter if it's Lara who seems to see me or not. Gizmo is still MY cat until further notice. Any concern you may have, call me, deal with me, instead of this run around nonsense and talking to someone else who doesn't own the cat. (why should it be so shocking that people around her can pick her up? Is it so wrong that she's used to folks all of a sudden?) And it's not your responsibility to find Gizmo a home. It's mine. If you happen to know someone, that's fine, let me talk to them, but don't go offering her to people without me having talked to them. I didn't call Kim or take up that offer because I don't KNOW her like you or Katie. The place I take her is a good, clean, safe place with a reasonable price. I like it and prefer to take her there rather than somewhere else I do not know (not saying anything regarding Kim's prowess or ability as a groomer). As for a voicemail regarding this, I don't recall ever hearing it.
Yeah, I was looking for alone time when I went to my dad's, but never once did I ask to be locked away from all physical contact of all my friends. And don't give me "you called and left messages" because you never did. I know. I went several weeks without talking to hardly anybody, juggling between work and working on otakon stuff and driving my way in and out of the city. And how could you even ASSUME that any flightiness (yes, I am flighty, yes I do forget things, but not out of sheer meanness) on my part was at any way an indication that I didn't want to hang with either one of you? How about all the times when the summer movies came out with midnight showings, while expecting to hear from somebody, anybody, it was never either one of you? We discussed plans prior to my moving out, yes, for fourth of july, but I remember telling you all that I made no promises regarding whether I would be there or not. And most certainly do not call me inviting LAra and Jeff over to see the harbor fireworks as a "party". It was a nice gesture since they had never seen harbor fireworks before wheras the two of you have, and I knew you had your own plans regarding the party, so what would have been the point inviting when I already knew your time would be taken?
And Otakon? Again you assume? Why would I have approached you if I didn't want anything to do with you?
The goodness of my heart? You should know by now that if I don't want anything to do with a person, I am totally far removed from them. I don't try to say hello, I don't walk up to them and actually try to have civil conversation. I did reply back to Katie, but hardly once did either she or you look towards me and ask me how it was. Never once did either of you call me during otakon to see what I was doing, if I wanted to hang out. As for leaving, well, I had to under orders. I was not part of the cleanup crew, I was art show, and the higher ups wanted everyone from every other department out of the BCC. I know, he was shouting it over my head, and I confirmed it with Kelly who agreed yeah, I should go. So I did.
And another thing: times when I have been at the apartment in the living room, which might be considered "neutral territory", whenever you walk in from work, you or Katie, ignore everything around you and go straight into your room and close the door. How am I supposed to communicate when even then you act like you want nothing to do with me?
You have no idea how upset I am right now. You talk about unreturned phone calls and shit, when you haven't tried once in the past couple weeks except to ask if I would drive Jeff to work because KAtie wouldn't be able to. And I called you back when I did to tell you that I could not. That has been the ONLY time I heard from you in recent days, so don't pull this shit of "you've called and left messages waiting for me to call back." You want me to pull out my phone bill and see what calls have been made and what haven't? You have NOT called. There have been NO messages.
If this was bothering you before, why wait until this point? Why let it get this far? I'll admit my part in this, but don't place all the blame on my doorstep. You admitted there's alot of assumption on your part too, alot of information coming from a second hand source instead when you should have been dealing directly with me. Talk about my deceny, where is yours? Why the underhandedness?
You want me to just "be your friend" but from where I'm standing, it seems very difficult to be a friend to you anymore. You hardly talk to anyone from your old circle, you don't hang out or role play or go anywhere with any of them. You do not call me, you don't leave messages, not even through myspace. Then, when I do hear from you, it's like this. What am I supposed to think? The way you talk/write, I'm the only one responsible for the problem. To be honest, I'm getting sick of it. I can't just "be your friend" when you're taking shots at me like this. It's difficult to just "be friends" when you're treating me like an ass and not even owning it. I can't just "be friends" when you're making assumptions against a woman who is like a sister to me.
How the hell do you expect me to take it? How am I supposed to react?
I'm not sure anymore. I don't think things are as simple as you're suggesting. We can't just "be friends" like this."
*sigh*