life, love, and wishing i could crawl under a rock and die
I dont know what to do... everything is falling apart around me... How can the person who wants to spend forever with me lie to me, and keep important things from me? how can it be love if I feel like my hearts been ripped out and torn into a million pieces? every thing was fine, it was amaizing and then it shattered and ripped apart like it never was... I dont know what to do... out of the blue someone told me something, and i believe it, more than i have from someone who has told me it many times before. it shouldnt be a chore, but a desire... its not the same any more.... instead of talking, he just goes to the bottle and drowns the problem out with booze.. ha if only it were that easy. I love him more than everything in this world... he means more to me than anything, and he just doesnt see it... is he the one, or am i so blinded by my insecurities that i just see what I want to? its time for me to take off my rose-colored glasses and see things how they really are... have i just been living in my own little world, while i was decieved and told what i wanted to hear? what should i do? everyone says to let go, but how can i do that when im so attatched, so wrapped up, so utterly lost to his will? Just one look into his eyes and I fall back into being a hopeless sap, but its not right to do it over a text, i mean a phone call is bad, but i just dont know.... why do i always get fucked over in the love department?